my friends do not support my weight loss

martintanz

Question for OP. Are your friends overweight or not? I ask because I think one of two things is going on, but either way, your getting thinner is threatening to your friends. It doesn't speak well for them but hear me out.

If your friends are mostly a normal weight, they may find it comforting to have an overweight friend because in their minds, in group situations each of them feels superior to you. Your losing weight might be threatening the arrangement.

If on the other hand, most of your friends are overweight, they fear that a thinner, more attractive you will eventually reflect back on them and their habits. And they might fear that you will become more attractive and they, in comparison will look less attractive.

As I said, either way it doesn't speak well for them. Real friends celebrate their friends accomplishments and try to help them through tough times. Focus on friends that support your goals and are happy that you are doing something positive for yourself.

quiltingducky

And that is the reason I have kept my journey most to myself - save for my immediate family I live with and my mom. It's too hard to tell someone about what you are doing and then have them judge you for every morsel you put in your mouth, even though you know you can eat whatever in moderation and fit it into your plan. And if I have told someone about my "dieting" it seems to put more pressure on my shoulders so I don't look like an idiot possibly eating a so-called non-diet food in front of them w/o having to go into a long speech about how I can eat it and still lose weight. We are judged enough just by our weight - why have the added stress of them scrutinizing what we are eating.

I would say if your friends are overweight, maybe they are jealous you are actually doing something for yourself and don't want you to change for the better (I think a lot of people do this subconsciously) or else they'll get left behind and be the "fat friend". I have always told my children that the friends they make in high school or college are rarely going to be the friends they have for the rest of their lives. Sad but true in this day and age. Everyone grows up and goes their own ways. If you can handle being with your friends, then you must try to ignore their comments; otherwise, I would say to try to make a new friend who gets where you are coming from.

martintanz

One more point. I am a guy, so maybe things are just different for guys. When I was in college, I gained weight my freshman and sophomore years. I don't think things are any different than they were 25 years ago. Back then it was greasy cafeteria food, late night pizza, and beer (of course). All that resulted in my ballooning up to (for the time) an all time high of 235 lbs.

Anyhow, after gaining and losing the same 10 or 15 lbs for 3 years, my senior year, I finally got serious about loving weight. One of my housemates was also significantly overweight. He weighed 300 lbs. So being young guys, we basically made a friendly wager, with him spotting me 30 lbs as he was taller and somewhat naturally larger than me. By summer, we both lost a lot of weight. The wager didn't even matter.

So, see if you can get one of your friends to join you.

martintanz

This week so far I have been cristised for spending too much money on the gym (this was from a SMOKER of all people) laughed at for not eating a muffin and told I would regert not eating a pizza if i died tommorow.

OMG! Does anyone really think that in your waning last moments, you would be thinking about pizza, muffins, or cigarettes?! My father died last year from obesity related illnesses, including congestive heart failure, diabetes, and about a half dozen other health related problems.

Because he had one of those life alert buttons and because I retrieved the police report (apparently a law in his state that police show up when a person dies just to rule in or out foul play(, I know the exact moment he died, and how. So, as he was laying on his bedroom floor alone, the life draining out of him, unable to get up, or presumably even breath, was he thinking about how he should have had another slice of pizza before that final, fatal heart attack, or was he thinking of the thousands of pizzas, buffets, or double cheeseburgers he should have skipped to avoid, or delay his ultimate fate?

nellyett

Don't feel embarrassed or sensitive about your decision to make healthy choices and exercise!

Whenever anyone has ANYTHING to say about what you're eating or the workout you're about to do, just look them dead in the eye and say 'I LOVE this! I LOVE the way eating well and exercising makes me feel! I sleep better, I look better, I have more energy, and I feel stronger!"

Keep positive, stay strong, and be confident!! You don't need their approval.....just DO what works for you and don't make excuses for it. They will come around! I find that when people are negative, or try to drag you down, it's because misery loves company and they wish they could do the same things for themselves that you are already doing for you!

Maybe over time, you'll even inspire them to live a healthier lifestyle as well

MaggiesMom3406

They are probably jealous that they haven't made the changes you have or that they don't have the drive to do so. It makes them feel better about their bad choices to put you down over yours.

UniformMr

My friend are supportive, but I'm starting to hear the following:

"Don't lose any more weight."
"Don't develop an eating disorder"
"You're fine as you are...stop."

I almost feel I have to lie to them and say that I'm not going to lose any more, just to get them to shut up.

They just don't realize that I'm actually at the weight that I was when I first met many of them. And now I can fit into many of the clothes that I've pushed back of the closet.

I guess my metabolism was pretty lively....cus the weight just flew off very quickly. And they are concerned.

Baloostika

Welcome to the club. I was just castigated by someone because I worked out, "What do you want to do that for." It was on the tip of my tongue to yell, "AND THAT IS WHY YOU'RE OBESE" but it didn't fell off my tongue.

Baby girl it's not only weight loss or healthy lifestyle living that brings out the saboteurs in friends and family. I also experienced that when I decided to go college when I was 35, boy was I talked about like a dog. Then three months before earning my B.S. in Accountancy, those same friends/family members began giving me unsolicited advice on how to spend the money I would be earning ….on them. I decided I would only “hang” were I was celebrated and not just tolerated. Love me for who I am and what I’m doing; if not, let the door knob hit you were the good Lord split you.

I can relate to that. That's exactly my situation, I went back to get a Bsc which was news 3 years ago now everybody loves Raymond, lol. They just can't comprehend our willpower. Forward ever dearie.

coliema

If they don't support you, then they really aren't true friends.

MuddyEquestrian

I can definintely relate to this! A lot of my issue is with coworkers however. Most of the people I work with are either overweight or obese and I get comments about my new lifestyle all the time. My favorite it "you need to go eat a cheeseburger!" So offensive as I am not a rail, and I still have more to lose. Jealousy can really be awful sometimes, try not to let it get you down!

Impy84

I'm sure this has been said, but i'll say it again. You need new friends. I don't understand how folks put up with disrespect. My theory and method of operation is this. I was born alone, I'll die alone (baring a crowded location lol) so I don't NEED anyone to walk hold my hand. I can be my own friend.

Either firmly and w/o a hint of a smile tell those "friends" to stfu and keep their stanky attitudes in check. Or put up with it and feel bad.
Personally, I'm not willing to feel bad about taking care of me.

But you do you boo