Summer + Clothing = Blues

mustnothrowcantelopes

Feeling very much discouraged. Am trying on all my summer clothes and a lot of it , things I really like, are now way too small on me. Am I really bigger now than I was in the summer? I don't believe so. If anything, I'm about the same weight. I feel like a fat, disgusting. pig. (I hate insulting piggies cause they're adorable. I just couldn't think of another reference). I haven't weight myself since last Friday I think. I'm terrified of stepping on the scale and seeing that the number went up, even though I'm definitely eating better than I was. I still go over up to 300 cal more than I should, but at least I'm consistent. I don't even know anymore. There is more I can be doing, like lessening my calories to 1200 instead of 1400 so if I go over by 200 it's not too big of a deal. I honestly don't feel I can handle that. My friend has that amount and I see how hard she struggles with it. I don't know. I don't know. sigh.