In you opinion, can men and woman every be JUST friends

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  • hanna1210
    hanna1210 Posts: 286 Member
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    Totally. A few of my nearest and dearest are guys, but I think it helps that I've known them for eons. They're practically family at this point so thinking of them as more than friends is just... weird.
  • xHelloQuincyx
    xHelloQuincyx Posts: 884 Member
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    Why is this even a question?

    why you answering then bro?? O.O
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    "A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired."
  • PapaverSomniferum
    PapaverSomniferum Posts: 2,677 Member
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    almost all my friends are guys. My BEST friends? dudes. i've always been a "one of the guys" sort of woman, and i've never had an issue of one of us "wanting it to be more". mostly because most men wouldn't see me as attractive, and because the sort of people i befriend (hyperactive weirdos) are not the sort of people i'm attracted to (shy, modest "good" people).

    i have had problems with significant others being weirded out, though, both mine and theirs. any time i've dated a guy i have always had to add the disclaimer, "hey, all my friends are guys. get over it"

    luckily, at my age now, most of my friends have managed to marry some lovely ladies and now, for the first time ever, i've got girlfriends. yay!


    your situation, though, OP, sounds like he has a major crush on you. Don't break his heart :brokenheart:
  • jarrettd
    jarrettd Posts: 872 Member
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    Hubby and I were friends. Then we got married, and we've been BEST friends ever since!

    I know...not really what you're asking.

    In my experience, it is very rare for mixed-gender relationships to remain purely platonic, without either party at least entertaining the thought of something more. That doesn't mean there is ever the intention to act on it or even discuss it; but we are human, and not very far out of the cave when it comes right down to it.

    My opinion? Yes, men and women can be friends, but it is a conscious decision. You have to trust yourself (and your friend) to be able to overcome instinct.
  • alecta337
    alecta337 Posts: 622 Member
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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA&feature=player_embedded#!


    oh god. lolol. this actully helps a lot.

    watching this video I totally agree!! No guy will hang out with a girl unless he likes her, but girls are good at keeping them at bay. Most guys can keep their feelings to themselves, until you're sad and drunk and vulnerable. LOL

    But seriously, they're just waiting for their time to swoop in =]
  • amy_fulk
    amy_fulk Posts: 69
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    I do believe that men and women can be friends. I grew up on a farm with all guys and even now I surround myself with them. My boyfriend and I were friends for almost a year before we started dating this month, but not all of my guy friends have actually liked me in that way. If they do and that is not something that you want with that individual, you should be straight up and tell them. If they have a problem with it then let them be; you're more than likely much better off.
  • lickmybaconcakes
    lickmybaconcakes Posts: 1,063 Member
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    Yes in some cases but if the physical attraction is what made one them friends with the other in the first place I don't think that's going to work out that well.
  • xHelloQuincyx
    xHelloQuincyx Posts: 884 Member
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    Yes in some cases but if the physical attraction is what made one them friends with the other in the first place I don't think that's going to work out that well.

    im not physical attracted to him nessisarily... we became friends because i used to copy his chem homework haha. but idk what he thinks about me
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,887 Member
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    When I was obese (and married), I would have adamantly said yes. I had several male friends who were just that.

    Now that I'm fit, though, and added the fact that I'm no longer married?
    It's tough. A friendship can be maintained, but it does seem to inevitably be sexualized in some way or another. Not necessarily enough to ruin the friendship, but it does seem that the boundaries of platonic friendship are hard to maintain.
  • kayleesays
    kayleesays Posts: 564 Member
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    Pretty much all of my friends are male, and believe me, I definitely have no plans to ever be with any of them.
  • LButterfly201
    LButterfly201 Posts: 164
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    Friends, sure.

    Best friends? Something more to it..


    ^^ got to agree on this one
  • krystina_letitia9
    krystina_letitia9 Posts: 697 Member
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    Ughhh. I used to think so. Then one of my *best* male friends wanted more. This also happened with another guy friend. Then another guy friend tried to kiss me. Yowch. I'm still friends with all of them, but not close like we used to be. That being said, when I met my husband 5 years ago, we became best friends and are still best friends :heart:
  • DeckerDoll
    DeckerDoll Posts: 201
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    Of course. As long as he doesn't try to steal my husband.
  • krystina_letitia9
    krystina_letitia9 Posts: 697 Member
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    Pretty much all of my friends are male, and believe me, I definitely have no plans to ever be with any of them.

    So lucky.
  • mariapuhl
    mariapuhl Posts: 529 Member
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    Yep, 100%.

    Personally, my best friend is a gay man... and then my other main group are mostly gay men and a few straight ones.

    I hate girls... I can think of one female friend I have. Haha.

    But yes, they can obviously be friends, especially in the one person being gay case - since that gets rid of the romantic possibility.

    But OP, your case, it sounds like he wants you.
  • shaybethxo
    shaybethxo Posts: 153 Member
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    yes, they can. but in my experience one person will develop feelings the other can't reciprocate, generally speaking. not in all cases, but in mine. :)
  • lickmybaconcakes
    lickmybaconcakes Posts: 1,063 Member
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    Yes in some cases but if the physical attraction is what made one them friends with the other in the first place I don't think that's going to work out that well.

    im not physical attracted to him nessisarily... we became friends because i used to copy his chem homework haha. but idk what he thinks about me

    Well if his feelings tend more toward that direction then probably not.
  • Taylerr88
    Taylerr88 Posts: 320 Member
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    unless gay.. or the "woman" is quote on quote ugly... NO chance
  • bumbledust
    bumbledust Posts: 22
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    It's completely possible to be friends -- even close friends -- with a member of the gender you are attracted to. Sometimes this type of friendship happens after flirting, or after a relationship (or relationship attempt). Sometimes it just happens on its own. Adult relationships are very complex webs, but not all of them have to include a sexual element.

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