Little brother

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  • runfatmanrun
    runfatmanrun Posts: 1,090 Member
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    You could also be frank/honest with him. Tell him how likely he is to die earlier, how much harder it is to be fat, how it could affect bone growth and density, etc., etc. He's 13 so he isn't too young to know how being overweight can harm him physically and emotionally. He should grow into his body more over the next couple of years and will probably piss you off for being able to eat what he wants without working out, who knows.
  • WeightlifterJosey
    WeightlifterJosey Posts: 24
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    History has proven that smokes and liquor are the most effective ways to ply minors. You might get in trouble though.

    I don't wanna get my little brother into this though I would rather him be doing sports or something to give him muscle instead so when he gets in high school he won't be to scared to go to the beach and show off his body with out it looking like a druggys body
  • WeightlifterJosey
    WeightlifterJosey Posts: 24
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    I was just thinking this exact same question about my son. He's 13, 5'4 and 140lbs. He's on the heavier side of things. He doesn't do sports at all. Which is fine except I think he is really missing out by not being part of a scheduled activity. He does ride his bike and walk but I was thinking about having him work out with me 30 minutes a day.

    I want him to know that exercise is a part of a happy, healthy life, just because he has chosen not to play sports doesn't mean he can get away with not doing something in it's place. I'm still struggling with the right way to approach it.

    As a deeply anti-sports personality, a word of caution...If he rides his bike and walks on a regular basis, he's being fairly active anyway - I wouldn't fret too much about 'scheduled' exercise - both of those things count towards his activity-levels. Exercise doesn't have to mean getting changed into special clothes and going to the gym/joining a team etc, which just is anathema to some people, myself included. I really resented the pressure I got from some adults in that regard, and it made me much more resistant to other forms of activity than I would otherwise have been, for a long time.

    Now, if you said you were worried about his socialisation, rather than just exercise and sports, I'd ask if he was involved in any non-sports groups. As for his weight, as I said above, if he's 13 and 5'4", he's going to be a lot taller, and probably a similar weight in a year's time. Many kids gain weight in the run-up to pubertal changes - it's the body's way of preparing itself.

    If you do get him to work out with you, don't forget that an adolescent or child's skeleton and muscular structure is not as developed or strong as an adults - cartilege has not yet hardened, for example. It would be wise to consider what you are getting him to do, if weights etc are a big part of your workout.

    I wouldn't worry about it to much but my family tree is full of shorty's haha and whenever we go to the beach/pool he is always worried about what people will think so he wears a dark teeshirt (We live in Florida)
  • bestbassist
    bestbassist Posts: 177 Member
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    13 is an incredibly awkward age for kids. My guess is that his interests will change and he'll find something he likes doing in the next couple of years. I know I HATED sports as a kid (still do, always will) but give me a pair of drumsticks and watch the calories melt away. Maybe he is growing out of sports and wants to do something by himself - he just doesn't know what yet. He'll figure it out.

    Bouts of sloth and depression are normal for growing boys. Their ambition is generally stifled in the school environment because if they show any then they are deemed "hyper-active" and everyone rushes to put them on medication. Boys have a lot going against them in today's toxic, anti-male culture. Video games now serve as a vicarious escape in which they can "experience" traditionally male pursuits that are frowned upon in today's social climate.

    Once the anger and testosterone fully kick in he will go his own way and find a physical release that suits him. Until then, I would just try to understand him psychologically and help to boost his self-esteem.
  • WeightlifterJosey
    WeightlifterJosey Posts: 24
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    Oh and I forgot to say he is also homeschooled which means he eats all the time...
  • Meg_78
    Meg_78 Posts: 998 Member
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    Maybe get an inexpensive barbell/weights set? It may not be working out with you but it would still help his fitness levels, and boys like the idea of muscles - I have a 31 year young husband who loves to flex his newly appearing muscles at me ;o)

    ^^
    This
    Weights was what I was thinking too!. They will help him improve the way he looks, not just loose weight and really who doesn't love muscle??? Perhaps that will also give him the confidence to branch out and take up even more active activities which would improve his heath further.

    You don't need a gym, free weights are better anyway, maybe you can pick up someone's old set off eBay (even just some dumbbells to start, you can do a lot with just dumbbells and a good assortment of weights), and a book on lifting maybe!...I'm using my FIL's and BIL's set that they used to use in the 80-90's. Fantastico!
  • GreenTeaForDays
    GreenTeaForDays Posts: 166 Member
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    The truth is, he probably just thinks you are nagging and you may be doing more harm than good. The best you can do is lead by example, be encouraging and not push too hard. No one will become healthy until they decide to do it for themselves.

    A few years ago I pushed my brother to run with me one morning. At the time he was about 13, a little over weight and very sedentary because he played video games too much. I kicked his butt that morning but he never wanted to run with me again. A year or so later his friends got him to join cross country and now he runs circles around me. I realized what I did wrong that morning and I really regret it. I just tried to make him feel bad about himself so he would want to do something about it. I should have planned something more fun that we would enjoy together so he would want to do it again. you can not push your aspirations on to someone else.

    Anyways, just be easy on him. You are his sister and he will take just about everything you have to say as criticism.
  • jallen1955
    jallen1955 Posts: 121
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    You are very unlikely to get a 13 year old boy to do anything.

    Try to interest him in sports...and then just encourage him.
  • adamb83
    adamb83 Posts: 719 Member
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    I'm confused... 5'2" and 155 or 5'4" and 140.... and we're freaking out? They may not be the slimmest or trimmest kids, but they're about normal, especially for guys (and yeah they're at the "high" end of normal - but BMI is a crap measurement anyway).

    It's great to want to get them to eat healthy, in general, or to be more active, in general, but I would worry about putting so much stress/pressure on them when they're really nowhere near a danger zone. I would've been thrilled to be that weight when I was their age (or, hell, now - I'm 5'4" and my goal is 145).

    Just hope there aren't some convoluted ideas of what "should" be happening going on here... I think it's most important to make sure they're capable of making healthy nutrition choices. If not, help with that - if so, let 'em be.
  • WeightlifterJosey
    WeightlifterJosey Posts: 24
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    He is 5"2 and 155 and doesn't like to do much exercise
  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
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    He does do football and Wrestling and doesn't care that he keeps on getting fatter and really doesn't even wanna play sports anymore, he thinks playing golf for 20 mins is enough workouts for a week. He loves to play video game and eat chips while doing so.

    If he participates in sports (football and wrestling) he does work out, doesn't he? Or don't they work out for sports anymore? And how can one play golf for only 20 minutes? It takes me hours to play a round of golf. What is his body fat percent? Is he actually "fat?"

    I think, since you're not his parent, all you can do is set a good example.
  • MommaKit79
    MommaKit79 Posts: 852
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    Don't make it about a 'workout' - are there any sports he's interested in playing and/or local teams he could join? If he's only 13 and 5'2" he's probably about to shoot up in height in the next year or so, so if you're worried about his weight, I would try not to be - he'll probably be so skinny you'll need to feed him up in a few months' time. It's what happens to boys at puberty.

    I agree with this but, if he is sitting around and eating chips and junk food, he may shoot up but he wont thin out. Same think happened with my younger brother.

    GOOD LUCK!!! The only thing I will say is DONT call him names or give him a hard time. My mom used to do that with my younger brother and now, he is 31, 6'1" (or so) and over 300lbs, NOT muscle!!

    I understand your concern but, just keep trying to encourage him and maybe just get him out doing fun things here and there. Maybe if he finds he cant do certain things because of his weight, maybe he will come around.

    I also agree that it may be an "Olderr Sister" thing so, if you know someone else, a guy maybe, that could get him moving, try that.
  • adamb83
    adamb83 Posts: 719 Member
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    Do you both live with your parents? Have you gotten them involved? Who is buying the junk food and who is allowing him to spend as much time as he wants on the video games?

    Maybe you could try to get their support - ask them to set some rules. 60 minutes of video games in exchange for 30 mintues of active play (I wouldn't call it "exercise" or that will make it feel even more like a punishment). And, if he is snacking while playing video games - get the junk out of the house and offer to make him some snacks instead (healthy ones).

    He's definitely old enough to start learning how to make smart, healthy decisions - and as long as you approach it the right way (don't be condescending, overbearing, mean, etc) he'll probably, eventually, be receptive to it. But he's only about 20 pounds overweight, so I just hope things are kept in perspective.
  • MommaKit79
    MommaKit79 Posts: 852
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    I think the worry here isnt necessarily getting him out moving as much as it is what he is eating, maybe?
  • suzzann666
    suzzann666 Posts: 334 Member
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    my teens are much more likely to go outside and run around, play ball, etc then they are to actually "workout," but it's still good exercise for them.
  • drewbird911
    drewbird911 Posts: 120 Member
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    My son's even bigger, I try and lead by example, and have 'made' him start football in HS.
  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
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    I think the worry here isnt necessarily getting him out moving as much as it is what he is eating, maybe?

    I think that's what should be the concern, but the question was about how to get him to work out...
  • GurleyGirl524
    GurleyGirl524 Posts: 578 Member
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    just make it fun. Playing catch in the backyard or hoops in the driveway. Something like that so he does not feel like it's a workout, but quality time spent with his big sister.
  • SheilaSisco
    SheilaSisco Posts: 722 Member
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    I have a little brother too. When he was that age the easiest way to get him to do anything was to make it a contest. Little brothers LOVE to win! lol
  • knittnponder
    knittnponder Posts: 1,954 Member
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    When my daughter was about 12 I got worried about her because she was very sedentary and weighed a bit more than seemed healthy. I put her in taekwondo and now she's 18 and doing P90X with me and very conscious of exercising and learning more about eating well.

    Me being mom I had the ability to not really give her a choice in the matter. I didn't force TKD on her but I did tell her she needed to pick an activity to try. Since her dad used to do TKD I encouraged him to take it with her so that helped. She wasn't going to start something new all alone (she's an introvert). They did it for two months and then the rest of the family joined and we've had a wonderful time as a family doing it together.

    We take lots of bike rides, go on hikes and spend a lot of time out doors. I don't make it optional, it's presented as "tomorrow we're going to do ..." Why yes I am bossy. :) But they have grown to enjoy the activities we do and we spend lots of time together as a family living an active lifestyle. If I want them to be set up for this as a way of life I need to make it a way of life now.

    We recently got my 12 yo son in Boy Scouts and in just the couple of months he's been in he's done a lot of active things. His troop is big into hiking, camping and other outdoor activities. Plus it's filled with a bunch of rowdy boys who are always on the move. My son is in no danger of being overweight (lower end of the height/weight healthy range) but as we all know it can catch up with you later. So I'm glad to see him setting himself up for a very active lifestyle.

    All that to say, keep encouraging them to find activities they will like to do. Do them with them if you can. It doesn't have to be a regimented workout program (that can suck the fun right out of it!) Drag him on hikes with you. Take him to a rock climbing place and climb the walls with him. Bounce houses with trampoline's are a great workout! Roller blading/skating, sign up for a walk/run, go swimming, plan bike rides, take up tennis or racket ball! There are a ton of things you can do with your brother/son that are fun and he'll enjoy. You might help him find a new passion and when you do you won't have to push him to move.

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