Un related...

LastTenPoundsGodDamnYou

Thanks Groovy... that's not how these things work in my town...you have to wait for them. If you have the "discussion" you might not hear what you want, men don't like pushing. I am interested in people who might have experienced the same thing...Just out of interest

Hence the ever-present "Communication" problem in relationships.

WOMAN up and talk to him! If he runs he was never going to make the move anyway.

Fair point. I need to "grow a pair" LOL

UsedToBeHusky

I'm utterly confused by OP's responses to everyone else. Obviously there is an answer they are looking for, a justification or something... Forget rational.

In my eyes, 11 years=married, whether or not there's paper to back it up. Don't want to be asked about being a Miss? Change to Ms.

The reality is that she doesn't really care, but she wonders if the fact that he hasn't asked means something... but she is afraid to confront him and she is happy with the way things are. She is probably afraid to confront him with good reason so odds are that if she does, things will turn out exactly as she suspects. And since she is happy... then she really shouldn't worry about it.

Husky I think I love you. I am not good with the words, but that is spot on! Will you marry me! :flowerforyou:

No... I think your boyfriend would have an issue with that... and I don't know where you live but same-sex marriage isn't legal here (yet).

LastTenPoundsGodDamnYou

Pah I give up! Cheers all

lol

Because people recommended you actually talk to this guy?

That's comical...

I'm not laughing....

LastTenPoundsGodDamnYou

Don't worry Lasttenpounds...Elizabethroad is RUDE to everyone. :drinker:

She comments ALOT!

UsedToBeHusky

Don't worry Lasttenpounds...Elizabethroad is RUDE to everyone. :drinker:

Wow! And what you did right there wasn't rude? Hypocrite!

Roadie2000

I'd figure after 11 years you'd know by now what his thoughts were about marriage. Maybe it's about time you find out.

LastTenPoundsGodDamnYou

Thanks Groovy... that's not how these things work in my town...you have to wait for them. If you have the "discussion" you might not hear what you want, men don't like pushing. I am interested in people who might have experienced the same thing...Just out of interest

Hence the ever-present "Communication" problem in relationships.

WOMAN up and talk to him! If he runs he was never going to make the move anyway.

Great response.

I would like to add that I would first work on him getting a job THAN worry about the getting married thing. Just my opinion on that bit.

He was only made redundant 2 weeks ago. The economy isn't great here. I was upsetting for everyone, but we hope retraining is the key

NakedLunchTime

Shouldn't you be asking him?

Good greif! I wish you wouldn't post anymore comments that are pointless..

Anyways, I feel like marriage is huge and when the time is right it will happen. Age doesn't matter, and also other people getting married has nothing to do with your relationship. My husband and I got married after being together for 8 yrs! As long as you are happy and love eachother in this moment, thats all that matters!

UsedToBeHusky

Pah I give up! Cheers all

lol

Because people recommended you actually talk to this guy?

That's comical...

Taking your response as sarcasm...

Why should she talk to him about it? She doesn't really want to get married. She is just feeling social pressure and wanted us to tell her that she is acting silly.

LastTenPoundsGodDamnYou

Don't worry Lasttenpounds...Elizabethroad is RUDE to everyone. :drinker:

Wow! And what you did right there wasn't rude? Hypocrite!

Everyone's comments are fair and she was a little hyper sensitive. I honestly though Elizabeth was joking!

Roadie2000

I would like to add that I would first work on him getting a job THAN worry about the getting married thing. Just my opinion on that bit.

This. He's probably waiting until he feels he can sufficiently provide for you. Some men are proud like that. But you probably know him better than I do.

LastTenPoundsGodDamnYou

It is very strange being an OP! Thanks everyone, there is some really good stuff here from all angles. I will talk to him when the time is right, till then I will chill out and enjoy my lovely relationship :flowerforyou:

WickedMouse

You are quite right. That's why I put it out there. Honestly I am as confused as you are! I am really happy and don't think about marriage at all. But since I have been on here 5 people (real and MFP) friends have got engaged and it made me wonder if there is something "off" that I am not doing it.

BJ's and Sammies.... gets the diamond everytime!

LastTenPoundsGodDamnYou

You are quite right. That's why I put it out there. Honestly I am as confused as you are! I am really happy and don't think about marriage at all. But since I have been on here 5 people (real and MFP) friends have got engaged and it made me wonder if there is something "off" that I am not doing it.

BJ's and Sammies.... gets the diamond everytime!

LastTenPoundsGodDamnYou

You are quite right. That's why I put it out there. Honestly I am as confused as you are! I am really happy and don't think about marriage at all. But since I have been on here 5 people (real and MFP) friends have got engaged and it made me wonder if there is something "off" that I am not doing it.

BJ's and Sammies.... gets the diamond everytime!

but just now many is enough? I am knackered. And can you stop once the diamond is in the bag?

AlsDonkBoxSquat

Thanks Groovy... that's not how these things work in my town...you have to wait for them. If you have the "discussion" you might not hear what you want, men don't like pushing. I am interested in people who might have experienced the same thing...Just out of interest

Well, figure out what you want, and if you don't hear what you want then you have your answer.

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

This is really a conversation you should have with him. We're not going to have any idea what he's thinking.


Also, I asked my fiancee to marry me. He was afraid I would say no, so I made my feelings very clear.

I too asked my husband...

rml_16

no one, except Wicked Mouse, has answered the should I care one......I don't think i should care personally...but i cannot shake the feeling that i am a bit miffed at not being asked...i might not even say yes:laugh:

There is mo "should." You do or you don't.

It scares me that someone your age is so prone to peer pressure and can't make up her own mind. My opinion, since you've asked, is you do not possess the maturity to be in a marriage.

HauteP1nk

Totally unrelated and off topic...but your MFP nickname is hilarious...haha

On that note, bring up the subject of marriage to him. Is it something you've ever talked about together? He'll eventually get the hint.

shiseido_faerie

I'm 32 and not married, no kids....all my friends have both of these things and have for some time.
I'm in a relationship with a great guy, we're very happy, we pretty early on had the "how do you feel about marriage" talk to make sure we either felt the same way before investing a lot of time, or if we didn't...at least make sure that we were OK with what the other person had to say. As it turns out marriage isn't a big deal to either of us, and we've agreed that perhaps once we have kids and the kids are older we'll have some sort of something to celebrate all of that instead. Maybe you guys could have a conversation like that?? I'm surprised that after 11 years it's never come up?

I don't think there's anything wrong with you or with your relationship that he hasn't asked if that's what you're thinking. Perhaps he's very happy but it's just not a big deal to him so it's never crossed his mind? If it's bothering you (which it is since you're miffed to not have been asked) or is something that you want you should definitely mention it to him! No offense to the guys but, they can be pretty oblivious sometimes, he likely just thinks things are great it hasn't occurred to him that you might want something more since you've not talked about it.

I go my Ms. also
And should you care? *shrugs* I personally think you shouldn't measure your life against other people's lives and therefore that you shouldn't care, but your being a little miffed shows that you do.

JennaM222

Shouldn't you be asking him?

morgansmom02

Shouldn't you be asking him?

I am not allowed to comment anymore on the boards today, but I will say "tee-hee"

morgansmom02

Don't worry Lasttenpounds...Elizabethroad is RUDE to everyone. :drinker:

Wow! And what you did right there wasn't rude? Hypocrite!

Everyone's comments are fair and she was a little hyper sensitive. I honestly though Elizabeth was joking!

No, she wasn't joking. She is 1 of 2 people that I know of on here that are nasty all of the time.

LastTenPoundsGodDamnYou

no one, except Wicked Mouse, has answered the should I care one......I don't think i should care personally...but i cannot shake the feeling that i am a bit miffed at not being asked...i might not even say yes:laugh:

There is mo "should." You do or you don't.

It scares me that someone your age is so prone to peer pressure and can't make up her own mind. My opinion, since you've asked, is you do not possess the maturity to be in a marriage.

i am prone to peer pressure along with many people I know. It is one of the facts of life, that however strong, professional and secure you are (and thought I was) sometimes your reaction to others kinda whips away the rug and leaves you feeling confused. I am woman enough to admit it and intelligent enough to realise I am not alone. Good for you that you are so unwaivering in all that you believe. I applaud and admire you for it. Thank you for your comments :flowerforyou:

LastTenPoundsGodDamnYou

I'm 32 and not married, no kids....all my friends have both of these things and have for some time.
I'm in a relationship with a great guy, we're very happy, we pretty early on had the "how do you feel about marriage" talk to make sure we either felt the same way before investing a lot of time, or if we didn't...at least make sure that we were OK with what the other person had to say. As it turns out marriage isn't a big deal to either of us, and we've agreed that perhaps once we have kids and the kids are older we'll have some sort of something to celebrate all of that instead. Maybe you guys could have a conversation like that?? I'm surprised that after 11 years it's never come up?

I don't think there's anything wrong with you or with your relationship that he hasn't asked if that's what you're thinking. Perhaps he's very happy but it's just not a big deal to him so it's never crossed his mind? If it's bothering you (which it is since you're miffed to not have been asked) or is something that you want you should definitely mention it to him! No offense to the guys but, they can be pretty oblivious sometimes, he likely just thinks things are great it hasn't occurred to him that you might want something more since you've not talked about it.

I go my Ms. also
And should you care? *shrugs* I personally think you shouldn't measure your life against other people's lives and therefore that you shouldn't care, but your being a little miffed shows that you do.

i honestly wish I wasn't miffed, but I had to admit I was. I never had been before I think it was just the 5 engagements in a few months, it kinda messed with my head a bit! Congrats to you for meeting someone so wonderful and good luck with your relationship

LastTenPoundsGodDamnYou

Shouldn't you be asking him?

I bloody love this!

LastTenPoundsGodDamnYou

Don't worry Lasttenpounds...Elizabethroad is RUDE to everyone. :drinker:

Wow! And what you did right there wasn't rude? Hypocrite!

Everyone's comments are fair and she was a little hyper sensitive. I honestly though Elizabeth was joking!

No, she wasn't joking. She is 1 of 2 people that I know of on here that are nasty all of the time.

I don't listen to trolls anyway. I have asked to change my name to ElizabethRoadPart2 hahahahah

UsedToBeHusky

I'm 32 and not married, no kids....all my friends have both of these things and have for some time.
I'm in a relationship with a great guy, we're very happy, we pretty early on had the "how do you feel about marriage" talk to make sure we either felt the same way before investing a lot of time, or if we didn't...at least make sure that we were OK with what the other person had to say. As it turns out marriage isn't a big deal to either of us, and we've agreed that perhaps once we have kids and the kids are older we'll have some sort of something to celebrate all of that instead. Maybe you guys could have a conversation like that?? I'm surprised that after 11 years it's never come up?

I don't think there's anything wrong with you or with your relationship that he hasn't asked if that's what you're thinking. Perhaps he's very happy but it's just not a big deal to him so it's never crossed his mind? If it's bothering you (which it is since you're miffed to not have been asked) or is something that you want you should definitely mention it to him! No offense to the guys but, they can be pretty oblivious sometimes, he likely just thinks things are great it hasn't occurred to him that you might want something more since you've not talked about it.

I go my Ms. also
And should you care? *shrugs* I personally think you shouldn't measure your life against other people's lives and therefore that you shouldn't care, but your being a little miffed shows that you do.

i honestly wish I wasn't miffed, but I had to admit I was. I never had been before I think it was just the 5 engagements in a few months, it kinda messed with my head a bit! Congrats to you for meeting someone so wonderful and good luck with your relationship

Well if it bothers you, then there is really only one choice. You have to talk to him about it.

Hope this turns out well for you. :flowerforyou:

LastTenPoundsGodDamnYou

Thanks Husky and thanks to everyone who gave me food for thought without making me feel worse to make themselves feel better xxxxx now lets go have a chat.......:laugh:

Stinkerbelle84

My husband and I lived together for almost ten years before we got married. We already lived as though we were married. Joined finances, both names on houses and vehicles, and raised his child together. Just never got married. We ended up getting married this November for no reason in particular, lol. It is strange how things work out sometimes.

Good luck to you! The best thing that you can do is to speak up. Either he will realize how important it is to you, or he won't. But you will have to be prepared either way!

Feel free to add me if you want to chat!