how to deal with negative co-workers...

kelseyhere

I have to sit next to someone who complains NON-STOP all day long about everything (the new manager who is too young and inexperienced, the IT guys, the expense reports taking too long to be approved, etc. etc.) and it's driving me nuts!! It's very distracting and I'm finding it hard to get work done. I wear headphones but I can still hear her. I can't move and I've brought it up to my manager. My manager is in agreement that it's annoying, and has advised me to try and keep my head down.

Any suggestions for something I can say to this woman? She's dragging everyone down! She complains that she never has enough time to get things done, but maybe if she shut up for 5 minutes she would. I need REAL advice people not your smartass comments, I'm frustrated over here. Maybe you've been this negative person before, and you can tell me what someone said to you to snap you out of it.

bigdogc23

If you don't want to deal with this person for worring about confrentation then I might suggest typing a short letter and annonoymously place the unsigned letter on her desk for her to find. It doesn't have to be rude, but express how you feel, and how her complaining affects you. You may also annotate in there specifically why the letter is annonoymous and express that you don't want to hurt her feelings etc. If you feel it must be signed then sign it "Sincerley, the whole office".

Otherwise I would just confront her face to face, that's how I do it. I have an employee that non-stop complains and I had to tell him to chill out as it brings down the mood of the whole office. I wasn't mean about it, but I was very open yet stern on how it made us feel.

Most people that complain all the time are looking for some kind of attention mostley in the form of sympothy. Doesn't make it anymore bareable but it's a learned habbit from some where in her life that carries over to the rest of her life.

esjaygee

I feel your pain, I literally have THREE of those people that work within two cubes me and headphones do not work. I think they all feed off each other too - I have a drama queen, a Debbie Downer who talks about death all day and a guy who bites off the head of anybody who talks to him and is never wrong (but always is). I've mentioned something to my boss as well (as have others) but nothing has happened. It gets so bad that sometimes I have to get up and walk away. When they moved the worse case offender two cubes away from me in January (she's just like your person, will complain for two hours about how busy she is and how she'll never get anything done), I started to get out of the office and walk at lunch to clear my head and get away from it so at least I got a fitness push out of it. Going through this every single day is very annoying so I feel your pain. I'm not sure what to do other than look for another job.

jaxbeck

This is office life :noway:

spade117

Claim sexual harassment and get them fired.

interceptor311

In my field this is a huge problem. I dealt with it by switching shifts to work with the younger, more positive and enthusiastic guys.

Deedsie

Negative people do not last long around my office, but I typically tell someone if they are bringing me down. It doesn't need to be in a rude manner (otherwise, they will start complaining about you.) I will say something along the lines of, "____, you are kind of bringing me down. How about we come up with some solutions and push through this?" I have told subordinates that I would rather work with someone who messed up 50% of the time with a positive attitude than someone who never made a mistake but constantly had something bad to say about someone or something.

digitalbill

I have to sit next to someone who complains NON-STOP all day long about everything (the new manager who is too young and inexperienced, the IT guys, the expense reports taking too long to be approved, etc. etc.) and it's driving me nuts!! It's very distracting and I'm finding it hard to get work done. I wear headphones but I can still hear her. I can't move and I've brought it up to my manager. My manager is in agreement that it's annoying, and has advised me to try and keep my head down.

Any suggestions for something I can say to this woman? She's dragging everyone down! She complains that she never has enough time to get things done, but maybe if she shut up for 5 minutes she would. I need REAL advice people not your smartass comments, I'm frustrated over here. Maybe you've been this negative person before, and you can tell me what someone said to you to snap you out of it.

I once had a co-worker like that.
I finally looked him dead in his face and told him: "Ya know, you should probably just quit this job".
He was quite shocked and asked me, sincerly, "why".
I explained to him that he is obviously miserable here because all he does is ***** about everything.
I don't think he was even fully aware of how much complaining he was doing.

k8blujay2

Besides punch her in the face?

jporte

Do you have a Human Resources Department? If your manager won't do anything maybe they will.

Ocarina

Direct confrontation always works. Seriously. Saves a whole bunch of running around and extra drama!

jmruef

I have to sit next to someone who complains NON-STOP all day long about everything (the new manager who is too young and inexperienced, the IT guys, the expense reports taking too long to be approved, etc. etc.) and it's driving me nuts!! It's very distracting and I'm finding it hard to get work done. I wear headphones but I can still hear her. I can't move and I've brought it up to my manager. My manager is in agreement that it's annoying, and has advised me to try and keep my head down.

Any suggestions for something I can say to this woman? She's dragging everyone down! She complains that she never has enough time to get things done, but maybe if she shut up for 5 minutes she would. I need REAL advice people not your smartass comments, I'm frustrated over here. Maybe you've been this negative person before, and you can tell me what someone said to you to snap you out of it.

I once had a co-worker like that.
I finally looked him dead in his face and told him: "Ya know, you should probably just quit this job".
He was quite shocked and asked me, sincerly, "why".
I explained to him that he is obviously miserable here because all he does is ***** about everything.
I don't think he was even fully aware of how much complaining he was doing.

I LOVE this response. Well done!

kelseyhere

Thanks everyone for your thoughtful responses. You've definitely given some food for thought. I especially like this idea...

I once had a co-worker like that.
I finally looked him dead in his face and told him: "Ya know, you should probably just quit this job".
He was quite shocked and asked me, sincerly, "why".
I explained to him that he is obviously miserable here because all he does is ***** about everything.
I don't think he was even fully aware of how much complaining he was doing.

I'm pretty sure she's not really aware how much complaining she's doing either, so I think this could work. I also like Deedsie's idea, to frame it more from the angle that it's bringing me down. If I make it about me rather than her, hopefully she won't be offended.

I have a drama queen, a Debbie Downer who talks about death all day and a guy who bites off the head of anybody who talks to him and is never wrong (but always is).

^ I laughed at this one, not because it's funny but because it's nice to know I'm not the only one! The people who can do no wrong and know *everything* are the absolute worst!

We do have an HR department but I'm afraid she go into total defense mode if they call her in, I forgot to mention the fact that she's extremely defensive on just about everything. Next time her complaints start drowning out my music, I'm armed with my response, "you should probably just quit." If it doesn't work, I'll transition to the fact that it's bringing me down. It that doesn't work, well then I'll just have to start throwing things.