The "ex box"

hunderwoman

My boyfriend and I just moved in together last weekend and things are going great. However, yesterday I was unpacking boxes, while he wasnt home, and I stumbled upon a box of his stuff. I suppose I should have just let him go through it, however I didn't really think anything of it. It had clothes and other misc. stuff in it. Inside it was another box. It didn't say keep out or anything, so I opened it...

Wish I hadn't. It had pictures of him and his ex girlfriend, from 3 years ago. I just put everything back and didn't say anything to him about it.

I am trying not to be bothered by it. But its hard. She is smokin hot with the body to match. . I don't even come close to comparing, and to be honest it has made me a little insecure about my looks and my body.

So my question is this...

Do you have an ex box? Is it ok to keep pictures of your ex. Or pictures of the two of you together? Or should I be concerned that they are still around and are now lingering in my house.

mamnboston

I have an ex box with cards, letters, pictures...it means nothing. He is with you and wants to be with you. The ex is an ex for a reason, it didn't work out, she's part of the past, everyone has a past. Don't let it get you down and don't feel insecure. She's no threat. Focus on the happiness of moving in together with your boyfriend and all the good memories you will create together. It's all good, you're lovely.

angeldaae

I actually do not have an ex. My husband was my first real relationship.

He has a couple ex-girlfriends, though. He has a few things from those relationships, and a few pictures. It doesn't bother me; they are "exes" for a reason.

jennifer52484

It is probably just a box full of stuff. I wouldn't worry too much about it, but I would definitely leave the picture out on the counter or something... see his reaction.. and then determine whether or not to react. I think she's an EX for a reason. But def clear up the confusion or you'll always wonder.

bradphil87

It's not in a box...but I do still have pictures and texts and stuff like that in my phone. You don't have any pictures of you and your ex at all? My mom, who hates my dad(real dad) with a passion still has pictures of us and him and her. It's really pretty normal. Is she really going to throw out pictures of me and my siblings on Xmas, bdays, baptisms etc and etc because he is in them too? Or course not.

marquesajen

I have a few pictures mixed up with other old photos. I was with my ex for 2.5 years during my loud, multi-colored hair years of high school into college. It's the past, there's no reason to be ashamed of the past unless one did something shameful.

sandrinamsilva

I have an ex box. I just don't want to throw away my past life. I was with my ex between the ages of 15 - 26. Married for 3.5 years. I don't want to throw away memories from half my life. My bf and I have been talking about moving in - I never thought about that.

He is with you because he loves you the way you are.

albinogorilla

i have a box like that, but it is at my parents house in their attic, i dont feel the need to have it close by

ahadj

I'm also curious to see what people have to say about this... but I'm coming at it from another angle.

For me it's not so much photos, but I have some stuff on my computer (just a few emails and a couple of poems) from exes that I wanted to print and put in a box somewhere for posterity. No pictures or anything like that. To me it's more about remembering a time in your life than the actual person.

But still, something about keeping things like that in the space I share with my boyfriend doesn't seem right...

Edited to add: I like what the above poster said about keeping it at your parent's house. I'll probably do that...

littlepinkhearts

She's in the EX box for a reason. So what if she had a smokin body. My ex had a smokin body for many years....but he was an *kitten* so there goes that. I don't have a problem with an EX box. Perfectly normal. I have an EX photo album I just laugh at when I go through it. Don't worry about it

hunderwoman

Thank you all very much. I really needed to hear that it was ok and perfectly normal. I have a habit of getting rid of my ex - stuff so its a little hard for me to understand. I am glad to hear it is normal. The sad thing is it probably wouldnt have bothered me half as much had she not be smokin hot. Shallow I know, but after being 270lbs for many years, and having a c-section, 166lbs looks good with clothes on, but not so good without. It is a definite insecurity of mine for sure! Wish I could figure out how to get rid of that one.

bobie1978

Thank you all very much. I really needed to hear that it was ok and perfectly normal. I have a habit of getting rid of my ex - stuff so its a little hard for me to understand. I am glad to hear it is normal. The sad thing is it probably wouldnt have bothered me half as much had she not be smokin hot. Shallow I know, but after being 270lbs for many years, and having a c-section, 166lbs looks good with clothes on, but not so good without. It is a definite insecurity of mine for sure! Wish I could figure out how to get rid of that one.

I also have a habit of getting rid of my ex-stuff. that is just me though. The few relationships I've been in I've wanted nothing to remember them by

rockinright

She's in the EX box for a reason. So what if she had a smokin body. My ex had a smokin body for many years....but he was an *kitten* so there goes that. I don't have a problem with an EX box. Perfectly normal. I have an EX photo album I just laugh at when I go through it. Don't worry about it

Good point...plus, he's moving in with YOU, not HER, right??

hunderwoman

Ahhh yes, but you always wonder if that is because of his choice or hers. Regardless you are right. He lives with me now. And that is by his choice for sure. (mine too of course.)