Scared and Lacking in Confidence

kyleighking19

For over a year now I have wanted to be thinner, healthier, more confident. So far I have been unsuccessful to even lose 10 pounds. I wake up every morning, look myself in the mirror and automatically feel uncomfortable with the body I live in. Life is too short to see myself this way. I long to have the body I dream about every day I just don't know how to gather up the courage to diet (i.e. eat less.... and healthy!). It's very hard for me mentally to think about eating well and exercising. How do you leave your fear behind to lose weight? I'm ready to have self-confidence and get myself down to the weight I deserve. Any advice?

Trying my best,
Kai

yarmiah

First, congratz on your 9lb loss thus far!

The advise you seek is in your own post . . . ." . . .down to the weight I DESERVE."

You are Worth it, and you do deerve to feel good about yourself and comfortable with what you see in the mirror.

You are in charge of your life- life is indeed too short and you have to make of it what you want to.

From personal experience, I recommend being patient. Make small, sustainable/maintable changes
to get healthy and fit. I started with going to the gym 3 times aweek. I didnt really see any changes, even
after a few months . . but I did feel better physically, and felt good knowing I was doing something good for my body.
I focused on what I should eat, not what I "shouldn't" eat. Then worked on portion control. In the end, I increased by
time at the gym, worked with a trainer who also help me with my diet and am finally completely comfortable with my body.
Sure, I would like to be a little toner, a litte tighter, maybe lose another 10 - but I'm not worried about the number on the scale-
it's about what I see in the mirror and I'm happy with it.

Know you ARE worth it, you CAN do it - be patient and keep at it. And don't beat yourself up!

Sweet_Pea_82

It starts with one day at a time hun. You have to keep in mind that it will not happen overnite. Don't think about eating healthy every single day for the rest of your life or every single meal in a day, you will drive yourself nuts and will want to quit before you start. Start slow. Tomorrow instead of eating an unhealthy snack choose to eat a piece of fruit, or go for a walk. Track everything you eat and in the note section of the diary write one positive thing that you did that day or that you noticed. It can be something as simple as drinking an extra cup of water. ANYTHING to look on the positive side of things. Don't beat yourself up if you eat an unhealthy meal. Recognize it, figure out why you ate it and journal it. It has been really helpful for me to write things in the note section. Hope this helps you out. Feel free to add me :flowerforyou:

daeohtar

Try to eat within portion sizes, that helps a lot. If you do take out, eat half or ask them to box it. Make small changes. Add more vegetables and less potatoes/carbs in your meals, find a balance. Go for walks and don't 'treat' yourself every night. Learn to make different foods and celebrate how creative you can be and inventive.

Also, you need to learn to love yourself as is. Losing a bunch of weight isn't going to be a magical cure-all, you're not going to lose X amount of weight and wake up and have a million tons of confidence. It doesn't work like that. Love your body, it carries you around, is strong, and a remarkable body. Any marks you have on it, they're just comments on what you've done and what you've yet to do. Another thing to remember is that health is not reflected on how you look. It's inside. So, take care of your body. Like I said above, take small steps. And remember change takes time. It takes about 4 weeks for your body to show it's lost weight, another 8 or so for you to notice and about the same for those around you.

Another thing, stop looking at ads, photoshopped pictures of women, unrealistic looking people, 'perfection', and an ideal that's not yours. You want your body to be the best IT can be, not the best someone else can be. This will probably help you feel better about yourself too.

Best of luck! :-)

kyleighking19

Thanks for all of your encouraging comments! I will learn to take it one step at a time and be sure to not beat myself over little mistakes! Best of luck with your weight loss journeys!

banananisme

Hi,

I am struggling like you. Just yesterday I had a conversation with myself about the 'why' I couldn't / wouldn't lose weight. I have it in me, I know, it really took a long time to answer that question. But in the end I found a more profound and honest reason why. But not just ONE anwser.

I understood that I have to understand why, because I've been dieting a long time now without a very clear focus of what I wanted. So I asked myself the very first questions I asked myself years ago & that I tend to forget sometimes.

Why do I want to lose weigt?
Why can't I really get rid of the weight?
What things or people stop you from getting rid of it?

And in all honesty I'm the only one standing in my way. I have to remember I'm doing it for myself & that I have to reward myself also.

Nobody will have the perfect fix for you, you have to find it in yourself & you have to know what works for you & how you will keep the motivation going.
I wish you all the best! I'm sure you are great & your weightloss journey didn't take that away :-)

AliciaStaton

Hi yes it is scary but you have to have that confidence. You have had the confidence to put a post on here about it and thats the start, just do what you need to do, never mind anyone else just do it for you. It is hard and everyone loses weight different just keep up with it:bigsmile:

katedesaccord

I've just started eating healthier and exercising, and honestly I don't even think about losing weight. I mean yes that's important, but really it's more about inches for me. If you try and tone your body, the weight will come off too. As for eating healthier, it can be difficult. As other people have said, portioning is so important. One thing I had trouble with was thinking that healthy food had to be tasteless and mediocre...that is simply not the case! Spices work wonders and bring out the natural flavors in food. You can do this!

MzVonda

I WAS the exact same way until I started having health issues and unable to move like I use to....I had my last child 2 years ago and that is when the reality set in, what kind of mother am I to lead this unhealthy life just to bring this precious soul into this world to have to take care of me in his young age........it was unfair to me and to the life I am giving and to my family.....so I stop feeling sorry for myself and surrounded myself with more encouraging and supportive people like on here, myfitnesspal.com........I had no confidence, no hope and no drive.....but I just keep telling myself and still to this day tell myself, one day at a time....today is a new day.....and every day try to make better choices....now I am a food addict so some days are better then others (my dairy is viewable) but for the most part I try my best to make good decision everyday, but I am not perfect..... but I know with this new positive attitude and my awesome support on here I have been able to successfully shed 51lbs!

I am still on this journey because I have about 65lb more pounds to go, but I am not where I use to be. It is all about being consitant not perfect, if you slip so what you always have tomorrow....try to eat smaller portions and come up with small habit changes, you are not in a race you are on the road to a healthier, happier YOU!!! Good luck!!!!!

banananisme

Right, I also think that if you put a post up like this, you have the courage!!!

A long time ago I was so OVER being unconfident & faking my mood everyday, I saw a picture/poster on the net that said "Just pretend you have confidence, just pretend you have no fear".
And actually since that day forward I worked on it like a mad, I enjoyed it and little by little I grew out of my shell & felt the best in the world.

I really felt confident after all that & i do not feel like a fake ;-)

MzVonda

Right, I also think that if you put a post up like this, you have the courage!!!

A long time ago I was so OVER being unconfident & faking my mood everyday, I saw a picture/poster on the net that said "Just pretend you have confidence, just pretend you have no fear".
And actually since that day forward I worked on it like a mad, I enjoyed it and little by little I grew out of my shell & felt the best in the world.

I really felt confident after all that & i do not feel like a fake ;-)

Now that is a GREAT idea.....always good to try to look at things differently!