statement of intent advice (grad school)

chanstriste13

i'm working on my statement of intent for graduate school (reading education). i have a lot of explaining to do since i flunked out of the school i'm applying to twice in the 90's. so my writing sample is taking on a personal/cheeky kindy of flair. do you think that will set me apart from other applicants or be a flop? it's written well (i believe) - but it's not your typical 'scholarly' writing. i can't decide whether to keep going with it or scrap it.

vzucco

Post a sample, or PM it to me. I'd be happy to give you my advice

chanstriste13

shameless bump.

here's my intro:

***
What Was I Thinking?!
My Personal Statement of Intent

I would expect any member of the graduate school acceptance panel who has seen the paper trail that is, in essence, my ghost of colleges past, to raise an eyebrow. I would expect them to wonder what kind of nerve I must have for even bothering to apply to the East Carolina Graduate School of Education. And I must say that I completely understand that rationale; it is a most valid stance. However, I hope to take this opportunity to explain my actions, or lack thereof, and convince each of you to lend me a vote of confidence in this endeavor.

It took me years to learn how to be a good student. My elementary school report cards were filled with red ink stating, “Such a pleasant child, a treat to have in class, but she needs to turn in her homework!” I have a distant memory of a first grade Thanksgiving art project that I neglected to turn in because it was shoved somewhere in the back of my desk. I really did not feel like digging for it and this resulted in a conference at which my perplexed teacher professed that it was so unlike me to simply refuse to complete and turn in an assignment. They all thought I was lying about the completion of my work, and I recall a passionate denial of this in the face of my parents’ disapproval. And when they called for proof, I promptly went to my desk, dumped it ungraciously onto the floor, retrieved the crumpled drawing of my misshapen turkey and distorted pilgrims, and proudly held it up with a flourish and a grin.

The question of the hour, of course, was, “Why didn’t you turn it in?”

And my stellar response, of course, was, “I don’t know.”
***

give me a vote for flop or go.

Flaming_Reef

Did they ask for a story or a creative response? Personally I'd scrap it. I just applied, interviewed, and was selected for faily selective masters program in Marriage and Family Therapy and my statement was structured very differently.... Do they give any length suggestions or other instructions?

cheddarMN

I think you definitely need to say something about your less than stellar past, but I would shorten what you have shown us. Maybe cut that section in half word-count wise.

I serve on graduate admissions committees and we like to see someone with a poor transcript actually take a grad class if possible and get a good grade. Then apply to the program. Is that posslble?

POKlink

Cheeky/Different can work, and sometimes will help get you noticed, instead of lopped in with the 100 other mediocre applicants. I don't really know about going all the way back to 1st grade, and elaborating that much though. You definitely need to explain why you had issues in the past and what has changed. Basically you are selling yourself, and have to convince them you are the right pick for one their limited openings.

chanstriste13

thanks for the feedback, everyone.

@flaming_reef - no, there are no specifications. which is a bummer. this is a first for me.

Flaming_Reef

That sucks. Statement of intent/statement of purpose/academic goal statements can go different ways depending on the school. I enjoy the way you write! Adcoms really want to know not only if you can hack it but if you can bring something to the table too! This is not the time to use or paint a picture of adjectives, such as lazy, that describe personality traits that many people will think are ingrained and not easily changed... combine that will a questionable academic history and imo you are shooting yourself in the foot! Unless you plan to work with elementary students who have the same struggle as a specialization in the program I would try to steer clear of anything that young.

I would try to focus it on how your interestes developed in ungrad/post undgrad experiences. Where there any classes or practicum/volunteer/work experiences that shaped your interests? One way is to focus on the origins and weave them up to a more specific focus. While you are talking about your interests you could briefly mention the struggles you had... but when you talk about it try to specify how that helped you in some way -allowed you to discover a particular passion in your field, driving up your work ethic (good place to add in a quick example of how you proved it to yourself, such as succeeding in a graduate class like cheddarMN said) or another thing? In other words focus your struggles around the strengths you derived from them. Although those struggles should be mentioned I'd advise making your statement of intent about how you, rather than that next candidate, would make the most of their program and time there.

I'd also be sure to include ways they will be of use to you. For example, are there any technology advancements that stand out that made you choose them over someone else? Like my place has a free clinic that serves the entire center of the state set up with cameras. Not only do you critique the videos later but while you counsel people in practicum you have a bug in your ear and are getting trained on the spot as your prof watches and listens through a viewing room. With special child rooms to boot! Also talk about your career path and how they fit into that plan. They want to know you are driven to succeed and will be using them as a stepping stone to better grander things! So give a couple lines about how this school's particular strengths will fit into your plan after graduation.

Hopefully other people will chime in with more ideas. Good luck and keep that confident writing style!

chanstriste13

@flaming_reef - thanks so much for all of this! you're not the only one who has noted my foot-shooting skills! however, i think i might ride it out - the first grade thread is going to come back to how i did find success and accomplishment, unlikely as it may seem from my roots. i am also going to demonstrate how the mindset of my child self has really helped me to build a rapport when i was teaching middle school, with my elementary students in my student teaching practicum, other clinicals and when i was working as a sub. i'm hoping to sell myself as a unique hybrid of someone who understands the importance of education, literacy and the ability to express oneself through reading and writing *because* of my "dodgy" background.

also, my mentor (who went through the program i am applying to and went on to receive her doctorate) has just told me my narrative was "beautiful" and my voice was "authentic". so i think i'll follow her lead.

we'll just have to see - but thanks again for all of your feedback!

RNmomto4

I would only briefly mention your reasonings for your past actions, and then focus on your strengths. I wouldnt make the whole thing about your past.

When I wrote my essay (FNP school) I focused from my heart. Gave my strengths and let them know I was dedicated and ready to take it all on.

Good luck!