Any advice guys

sarahp86

So I've been on this a long time and haven't properly committed. It's not that I don't want to lose weight, I really do but through different obstacles (injuries, medical issues, work problems) I've become quite down on myself.

I'm finding it really hard to stay focused on mfp and my weightloss goals and feel like a failure, I'm finding it hard to push myself and find that I'm turning to food more and more and going back to my old ways.

My MFP friends are great for pushing me and I have great support from my bf. I'm refusing to give up. I'm not looking for sympathy because I know there's loads in the same boat. I have "that dress" and the picture in my head of how I want to look. I have to lose weight for my health too but I'm finding it so hard right now.

I left MFP for a few weeks and came back. I love this site and all my friends and the success stories etc. any advice would be great guys.

For those of you who have met your goals did you have this problem? If you did, how did you overcome it?

For those of you who are still on your way or struggling, how do you motivate yourself?

Thanks

minnesota_deere

I have this voice of Emery (or a marine drill sargeant even though i have never been in the military) in the back of my head that says, "QUITE YOUR WHINING MAGGOT, GET OFF YOUR FAT *kitten* AND DO SOMETHING, WHAT ARE YA SOME SORT OF A LITTLE GIRL, NOT MAN ENOUGH??? YOU LITTLE BABY!!! BOO HOO HOO!!! CRY ME A RIVER!! PUT THE ICE CREAM DOWN, YOU HAVEN'T EARNED A TREAT YET, YA LITTLE MOMMAS BOY!! and that usually gets me motivated.

beebee0925

bump

randa_behnam

when it comes to eating well and "dieting" i am a pro, but to get off my *kitten* and exercise, i very much slack. i dont even have an excuse for it, i just cant be bothered. BUT when i do, even if its only for 10 mins, i feel FANTASTIC!

make it fun. lately ive been turning up MTV in my room and having a boogie and then adding a few dumbells and lunges etc so im getting a fun workout. i guess thats my personality tho, im quite a silly person and like to have fun instead of being so serious at the gym.

try not to eat too late in the day because it will make it harder for you to exercise if your feeling full. i guess if your like me, you see it as a chore and something you have to do, but you need to want to do it! youll get there x

Hodar

You are 25% of the way to your goal. If you quit, eventually you will return to your original size; and if you are anything like most people - you will surpass that.

This is a LIFESTYLE change, not a fad. This isn't a weekend task like weeding the garden. Your weight came on over years, perhaps decades of doing the wrong things. Why would you expect it to drop off after a few months of doing the right things?

Slow and gradual is exactly what you want. This allows your skin to shrink as your muscles grow and your fat goes away. It takes time, expect it to take years - honestly ... expect it to take years, and then it will take the rest of your life to maintain what you fought so hard to achieve. It's a lifestyle change - it's not a part time job.

MikMont

I just told my husband that I expect to lose some weight every time I make a healthy choice or workout. Well of course that doesn't happen then I get discouraged But hey, each day is a new beginning and another chance. So my advice would be just to take it day by day and just try to do better than you did the day before.

How do I motivate myself? lol I fake it 'til I make it. I pretend to be overly excited about waking up at 5:30 in the morning to workout. I figure one day I will actually wake up and look forward to the workout.

SirBen81

Find a good workout video. Insanity, P90, P90X are good.

Jessintherain

If you make yourself commit for say, 30 days, after 30 days you will do these healthy things for yourself without thinking twice. It will feel strange to not log your food or get your daily exercise. You'll start seeing the results in 30 days, too... and that's a great motivating factor.

Remember, you owe it to yourself to do these things!

Good luck, you can do this!

sarahp86

Thanks for your response guys, theres good advice in there im not going to quit, never intended too, suppose I just need a sharp kick in the *kitten*

kristen6022

First off, dump the excuses. Trust me, at my highest weight I had tons. I'm lazy, I like food too much, I like to bake, cook, etc, I hate exercise. But one day I just told myself, NO MORE EXCUSES!

At my heaviest I was 190 and 5'11. I lost 20 pounds in about 6 months (yes, very slow but I did it by just giving up a few things and not exercising). I was happy with this, it was better than where I had been, but I lost my job and started eating not so great things and by the first of this year I had put on 10 more, officially at 180. So, starting that day I changed the way I ate. I watched everything that went into my mouth. By March 20th I was down to 165 just by watching what I ate. On that date I started working out. Just walking, increasing speed and distance. On that date too I starting logging food. Just last week I reached my weight goal of 155. I know now by trial and error what works and what doesn't. I didn't give up things I loved, I just ate them less. Like, for instance at my heaviest I wouldn't think twice about ordering dessert at a restaurant or grabbing a candy bar at the check out counter. Now, I don't. I like myself too much to go back to that 190 person I once was. I know it will be a long battle of motivation and wills to keep it off. But as soon as you drop the excuses and man up to why you are the way you are you will be on your way to a healthier you, physically and mentally. My motivation was to be in a size 8. I'm now between a 6 & 8 and I'm so happy I kept it up!

Now I'm training to run my first 5K and lifting 3 days a week. Exercise helps, but it's what goes in your mouth that counts the most.

Ceffy

I had the same problem back in Feb, I had a great christmas/new year in that I lost weight but still had fun and then BAM! the winter blues hit.

I struggled to get back into the healthy vibe but I tried to organise myself into a frenzie and it worked.
Drawing up eating plans for the coming weeks, and did a shopping list (that we stick to now instead of chucking stuff in the trolly)
I also did a massive poster for inside the food cupboard, pics of me at my fattest, and goals... "if you lose 2.5lbs a week by sept you will be..." "if you lose 1lb it would be.."

It wasn't necessarily having the things on paper that helped, but the feeling writing them down, like I was taking action, I'd taken the first step and I was taking control back. For me, organisation is the key, planning what I'm going to eat, when I'm going to work out and most importantly the treats! but then sticking to it all.

Its hard but its way harder if you haven't planned it out as you make your mind up based on how you feel right then. If I've had a crappy day at work, or have a stomach cramps I definately won't go to the gym if I don't have the kit sorted, the snacks planned to boost my energy or the easy dinner ready to cook when I get in.

Not preaching, as this might not work for you - its just what worked for me but I think you need to find that one step to get you back into it - can you remember what excited you or you enjoyed at the beginning last time you felt the fitness vibe?

Cx

karenmi

I completely understand where you're coming from....I started here in Feb 2010, lost 52 lbs in a year, kept it off for almost another year but in the past 3 months have gained about 5 lbs back and, unfortunately, it's all belly fat.

It was completely my own fault, as I too was slipping back into some of my old bad habits. I was still logging my food every day (even the really bad days), still working out but not enough and eating lots of junk food - my downfall has always been sugary things like Snickers bars and salty things like chips, crackers, etc.

I pushed the envelope for months but now am paying the price. Last summer I felt SO good, I felt leaner and healthier than I had in 20 years! Now my clothes are too tight and I, like you, am beating myself up over it. I feel like a "fat chick" again.

I watched a documentary on HBO for the past two nights called "The Weight of The Nation" and it really motivated me to get real and stop fooling myself. I am one of those people who must be very strict with my food intake and exercise or I gain fat very quickly. That show really opened my eyes to the consequences of belly fat on your heart, liver & other organs and gave me the impetus to get back to eating clean and working out 5-6 times a week instead of 2-3. If you didn't see the show try watching it on-line.

As long as you're still here then you're still in the game, at least part way! Never give up, that's my motto. If you want you can send me a Friend request and we can try to motivate each other.

Good luck!!!!!

batgreen

I find myself obsessing over food, when to eat, when not to eat.....what will I eat..ect. For me, I need to have something to look forward to. Even if its just seeing a movie, or going shopping. Those kinds of things make it so Im not focusing on food or other crappy things that may be going on. Try to stay positive. Add me if you wish

sarajane31

Hi! I'm new here at at my highest weight ever, so take what I say with a grain of salt. I'm by no means a success story.

But. I joined fitocracy (are we allowed to talk about the competition here? It does a totally different thing) about a month ago and it has been super motivating for me in terms of working out. I've been doing some sort of strength training or walking 5-6 days a week since I joined. I haven't lost weight yet, but my clothes are fitting better and I feel great. Yesterday I joined MFP and started tracking my calories. Hopefully the combination will make the scale move a bit.

Anyhow, that's a little backstory. Here's my advice: I find that goals that are focused on weight loss or inches lost or anything else lost do not motivate me. I get discouraged too easily if the scale goes up instead of down, or if I have to wait five or six days to check and see if what I'm doing is working. What has kept me going this last month is setting goals that I have complete control over. I am going to do 20 squats today. I'm going to hold that plank for longer than ever today. I'm going to walk two miles before I cook dinner. These things I can DO, and I can see the results immediately, even if the result is just crossing something off a list.

I also try to think about the big picture. I've always wanted to learn rock climbing, but I have wimpy noodle arms. Doing push-ups and what not (which I hate) will help me climb rocks someday. I want to travel and be adventurous, but when I'm overweight and lazy adventures are more trouble than they're worth sometimes. I want to work hard now so I can enjoy my life and do cool things.

(And secretly, I'd really love to live in a world where chub rub doesn't exist. That's pretty motivating, too.)

Hope this helps!

dvisser1

Been having the same motivation and focus problems lately. I had really good weight and size loss early on, but lately it's slowed way down. I get frustrated by being on a plateau only 5 lbs above my goal weight. I'm also looking forward to when I can relax and feel comfortable about not examining every morsel of food and worrying about going over a calorie goal every single day. Now that my metabolism is cranked up after getting used to the regular exercise routine, I'm hungry a lot of the time too. Six months ago I swore I needed knee surgery because my knee was loose and my kneecap would pop out with any stride impact harder than a regular walk. My work demands a lot of me, 50 hours or more a week on the clock at the office.

What keeps me working is a combination of looking at my longer term success so far and each little victory along the way. I had to take exercise slow early on and build strength back, but now I'm safely running 2 1/2 miles at a 10-11 minute mile pace as I build to a 5k distance. No surgery required. Most medical conditions get better with regular exercise and improved overall health.

If the ticker on your profile is accurate, you've lost 22 lbs so far. It may not be as much or come off as fast as you would like, but you're still 22 lbs lighter than you once were. That's a great thing! Don't discount what you've already accomplished. Instead of just one large goal hanging out there, break it up into small goals. Give yourself a goal you can realistically meet in 2 weeks. Focus on that and drive forward. You'll feel wonderful when you hit that goal.

BeachGurl815

I completly understand where you are at. When I joined MFP last year I was all gung ho. By December I was so close to my halfway goal I could just about touch it. Winter came and I slacked off. Each week I kept telling myself I need to get my motivation back, I need to restart but I wasn't quite getting there. Finally I had to tell myself to stop this nonsense and just do it! I set some goals for myself and I am still struggling but on the right path. Just one day at a time, one meal at a time, one workout at a time. String them all together and you will be on the right path again. Good luck and send me a friend request if you would like to support each other.

MonkeyBars

self motivation can be difficult.

I drag people out to train with me, if they forget their trainers, I make them go out anyway & I'll leave my trainers!
We'll do grass sprints

Losing weight is a measure, but have you set yourself a large task that feels far away?

I'd was getting over knee surgery and was worried without my training, I'd balloon!
I normally exercise alot, e.g. run, cycle, MMA, kickboxing, rock climbing, circuits etc... you name it, I'll do it!

So instead of worrying, I decided to aim for a lower weight-class, I was a light heavyweight and decided I'll become a middleweight.

After the op, I was floating about the 93kgs, I couldn't walk or do my normal cardio!
so the next day I went into my home gym on my crutches, laid down and did pullups on my gym rings!

It empowered me!
Even being injured, I could work "around" the problem.
So I started to control my kcals with MFP.

I initially set MFP to lose 1lb a week.
Even though I wanted 85kgs, I decided to set MFP for 90kgs.

As my knee improved and my training expanded, I started doing home circuit training.
I still couldn't run but I was able to do other things.
I did them! I made up exercises, I stole things off youtube, I purchased medicine balls, swissballs etc....

Once I was on the road to recovery, I'd hit my 90kgs & then set MFP for 88kgs.
Within 2 weeks I was there, I was keeping my muscle mass (good youw8 scales) and hitting my targets!
MFP had restricted me to under 1800kcals a day (I was used to 2800kcals)!

I allowed a blow-out once a week where I could booze up and eat what I wanted, but I recorded "everything" anyway.
I wanted to understand my body! This was an experiment...

Finally I was at 83kgs, sometimes I drop to 81kgs so I have to eat more "good" things to keep my mass.

Currently I've got a broken rib thanks to MMA, but this time I knew I could work around things!
Week 1 I did nothing, but watch my diet.
Week 2 I introduced the stationery bike (tabata style workouts)
Week 3 Running and stationery bike with a sub 50 min 10k (gotta watch those ribs)
Week 4 Sprints, LSD running and some stationery bike.
I have another 6 weeks to go on my plan that I'll tune as I get stronger...

I plan to introduce more things as I heal to get back to my 2 to 3 sessions per day with 1 day off every 7 to 10 days (depends how I feel).

I would say the secret is:-
1. Small steps, don't aim to lose too much weight, aim for small chunks!
2. Wisdom says weight yourself once a month, I weigh myself every morning & evening.
The weight I read doesn't bother me, this is because I work out my "mean" weight and more importantly my body fat % over the month. I like data. Data rocks!
3. Take photos, once a month, take a photo. Get someone else to do it when you're in your underwear. Try and do it in the same place and make sure you're smiling. Associate the photo with the good feeling that you're progressing!
4. Invest in good scales. I use the youw8 ones. I don't even read my weight, it sends the data up into the cloud and I can access it from the internet/phone. I type it into MFP once a week. It's just a number!
5. Have a blow-out once a week! Do what you want, booze, food, etc.... just make sure you record it. Interestingly, as the weeks go on, you'll notice your blow outs have less kcals. Not by choice, your body just can't handle as much junk....
6. Fill up! If you have a craving, do a deal with yourself! If you want that choccy bar or crisps (chips), then you have to drink 2 pints of water and eat 200g of carrots (or something low kcals that's natural, not processed). Then wait 10mins, if you still "need" it, chop it in half, eat half, record it on MFP, then wait another 10mins. Chomp the rest if you "need" it, if not, throw it in the bin and make sure it gets covered in crud!
7. Don't feel guilty. If you go over, or you can't resist something, don't worry. It's a journey. We learn from our mistakes. Record it on MFP and carry on. You probably deserved the "treat"
8. Exercise! Do what you can. Initially, do something 3 times a week. Whatever it is. See the reward it gives you. A few kcals back for free. What MFP doesn't show you if your body getting stronger and better for the next session. Do what excites you, don't do stuff that bores you! the static bike drove me nuts. The way I solved it was a tabata timer on my phone. Turned on the TV and did a 6min warmup, then the phone pinged, then it was 20 seconds flat out, 10 seconds recovery, non-stop for 15 mins, then a 3min warm down! I didn't have time to get bored

You'll get there! Just get there in small steps and celebrate each step! Never feel guilty. Guilt can make us seek comfort food. You don't need guilt. You're a ferrari and you need high octane fuel, just beat out the panels until you get the shape you want

The mirror rules, not the scales, this is why I recommend a good set that measures your fat. Whilst the accuracy may be questionable, at least you have a method that you can track. Muscle weighs more then fat, so I see big guys who look chubby weighing the same as slim guys. Weight is a number! Fat% is just a "better" number!

Good luck!
ps
PTs are good to hire, but find one who'll take the money up front and will knock on your door for the complete 1hr session until you're forced to get up! they'll ring your cell phone, they'll shout outside your house, they will get you to exercise! And because you paid up front, they won't go away
This is probably why some of my friends would "never" hire me

ElizaGeorge

My motivation?

I'm better than the person I've let myself become. There are so many things I would have loved to do in my life that I didn't because I was too big, would get too winded, it would be too embarrassing. I am not that person. I am so much more than the weight I've allowed to be on my body. I have big dreams and big plans and being fat does not fit into them.

Life is so much richer when you're healthy and don't have to think twice about whether you "can".
Good luck and hold tight. Every healthy decision puts you one step closer to your goal!

MNA76

You have to know that you are worth it. You are worth the effort and it is a big effort. If you're anything like me, I'm tired of half-living my life because I don't have enough energy, gumption or motivation.

Take it from me, the older you get the harder it is on your body and the harder it is to reverse the effects. For me, I decided it was literally time to *kitten* or get off the pot. I'm teetering on the border of some major health issues which I have the ability to control and reverse. But if I keep going like I was, it will be too late to reverse.

For me, the eating healthy and logging part is pretty easy. But only because I allow myself to enjoy myself sometimes. I'm usually very strict during the week with my calories, the types of food I eat and no alcohol. But on the weekend, I allow myself to have a few good meals out and drinks. Usually, though, I try to get a good workout in on those days to counteract and try to stay within or close to my calorie deficit.

As for working out, the only thing that works for me is dragging myself out of bed at 4:15 a.m. and getting to the gym at the beginning of my day, before work. And I figure, if I'm going to wake up at the a** crack of dawn to go to the gym, I'd better make my time there count. It was really hard waking up at first, but I've gotten so used to it, it's no big deal anymore. If I left my workouts to the end of the day, after work, I'd never go. I've tried it before. Doesn't work for me.

As another person replied, a few years ago I lost a significant amount of weight. Then I slipped back into my old ways and ending up gaining all plus another half of what I initially lost back. It made me sick to think that I had thrown all my hard work away.

Again, you are worth the effort!!! You deserve to be happy and healthy. Take it a day at a time. Do what you can each day and know every change in the right direction counts.

A final piece of advice, I have a lot of weight to lose. To look at the big picture can be extremely overwhelming. I set 10 lbs goals. When I meet one, I set the next goal. It's been very effective.

Ceffy

You'll get there! Just get there in small steps and celebrate each step! Never feel guilty. Guilt can make us seek comfort food. You don't need guilt. You're a ferrari and you need high octane fuel, just beat out the panels until you get the shape you want

Love this^^!
Some fantastic advice & mantra's I'm going to take on myself


Edit : Can I suggest one other thing? I've you're getting as motivated by this thread as I am, take a picture of you now... then put it somewhere with a note underneath "how I felt when the MFP'ers boosted me up" and use that to drive you on the difficult days

beebee0925

I had the same problem back in Feb, I had a great christmas/new year in that I lost weight but still had fun and then BAM! the winter blues hit.

I struggled to get back into the healthy vibe but I tried to organise myself into a frenzie and it worked.
Drawing up eating plans for the coming weeks, and did a shopping list (that we stick to now instead of chucking stuff in the trolly)
I also did a massive poster for inside the food cupboard, pics of me at my fattest, and goals... "if you lose 2.5lbs a week by sept you will be..." "if you lose 1lb it would be.."

It wasn't necessarily having the things on paper that helped, but the feeling writing them down, like I was taking action, I'd taken the first step and I was taking control back. For me, organisation is the key, planning what I'm going to eat, when I'm going to work out and most importantly the treats! but then sticking to it all.

Its hard but its way harder if you haven't planned it out as you make your mind up based on how you feel right then. If I've had a crappy day at work, or have a stomach cramps I definately won't go to the gym if I don't have the kit sorted, the snacks planned to boost my energy or the easy dinner ready to cook when I get in.

Not preaching, as this might not work for you - its just what worked for me but I think you need to find that one step to get you back into it - can you remember what excited you or you enjoyed at the beginning last time you felt the fitness vibe?

Cx

Thanks for this advice. I've been feeling kind of the same way. I've not where I want to be professionally and it kind of has me down a little. I haven't given up but I needed encouragement and advice in terms of how to get over the hump. I've been gung ho with my exercising but the eating has been off and on. There's been no consistency so there's been kind of a self induced plateau.

I think planning my meals and seeing what I've actually done will help me in terms of making proactive decisions with my eating.

Thanks for the advice.

cavewoman15

Here is a simple trick for motivating yourself to exercise more: I don't take a shower unless I've sweat. Seems silly, but taking a shower has become totally useless unless I'm washing away some sweat. Even if I don't feel like doing much on a day or it's an 'off day,' I take the dog for a long walk, go for a bike ride, jog a mile - anything is better than nothing!

And, I ALWAYS eat my calories back. I've seen people say they don't eat their exercise calories back. Dude, whatever! Your muscles need energy to recover, and it's another mini reward!

MamaWannaRun

You may be trying to stick to a program that is too hard for you right now. When I started, my goal had NOTHING to do with food, it was just to MOVE. That was it. Move for 1 hour everyday with one day off a week. I did that for an entire month and then, Once I got into moving, I started to run...

Then, once I started to run (being 50 pounds over my weight just two years ago), I REALIZED that my body would FEEL better if I lost some weight. It is really HARD TO TRY TO RUN carrying a 50 pound pack of dog food on you.. SO, I set some calorie goals.

Now, I'm halfway there and yes, I do get bummed out from time to time. I just make it a point to stick to my program AND I give myself permission from time to time (sometimes as often as once a week) to DO WHAT I WANT - eat, sleep, etc. and not pay any attention to my program for 24 hours.

The voice in my head is MEAN. I try not to listen to her.... Take it easy on yourself, set realistic goals and take it ONE SMALL GOAL AT A TIME!

good luck and feel free to friend me if you think I can help more!
C

spikefoot

Find just one reason that you believe in. Focus on that.

Mine is my kids

mfpcopine

So I've been on this a long time and haven't properly committed. It's not that I don't want to lose weight, I really do but through different obstacles (injuries, medical issues, work problems) I've become quite down on myself.

I'm finding it really hard to stay focused on mfp and my weightloss goals and feel like a failure, I'm finding it hard to push myself and find that I'm turning to food more and more and going back to my old ways.

My MFP friends are great for pushing me and I have great support from my bf. I'm refusing to give up. I'm not looking for sympathy because I know there's loads in the same boat. I have "that dress" and the picture in my head of how I want to look. I have to lose weight for my health too but I'm finding it so hard right now.

I left MFP for a few weeks and came back. I love this site and all my friends and the success stories etc. any advice would be great guys.

For those of you who have met your goals did you have this problem? If you did, how did you overcome it?

For those of you who are still on your way or struggling, how do you motivate yourself?

Thanks

Do these three things:

Restart by logging, very carefully, everything you eat, and make sure you measure it. Try to eat only foods whose calorie content you can estimate (and it's always an estimate, even if you measure.)

Take a 30 minute walk every day (or some other moderate exercise for the same time period.)

Drink 8 glasses of water or whatever amount of water you find appropriate.

Do not miss a day. .Do not increase the amount of exercise. Try to stick to these simple goals. If you think that it's too easy and are itching to increase, that will be a good sign that your motivation is building.

For me, the main motivation has come from staying very accountable about what I was eating each day. I also decided to try Intermittent Fasting (IF) and in the IF group I started a thread in which I posted my plans and results pretty much every day.

alabughosh

I'm right there with you on the struggling to find motivation. I just try to take it one day at a time. In the morning before I've eaten anything, I say...."I'm gonna do great today and at the end of the day, I'm going to feel proud of myself."

minnesota_deere

Thanks for your response guys, theres good advice in there im not going to quit, never intended too, suppose I just need a sharp kick in the *kitten*

there is a million excuses and justifications to not do something, just pick one, i get tired of all the whining and crying on here, that motivates me that i am above the excuses and do something about. i also think about the people who are starving in this world and the less fortunate, everyone on here has a better life than someone, if your on this site you have internet which is a luxury not a need, just when you think you got it bad, think about the homeless or the starving kids, that gets me to stop whining and crying and thinking self pity.