The Epic Bagel

TheDoctor90
TheDoctor90 Posts: 461 Member
in Recipes
This is my epic bagel.
First start off with two wholemeal bagels complete with seeds. The seeds are important as they make you feel healthy.
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Then get a plethora of processed meats. Here we have some lovely bacon and outdoor bred pork sausages at 90% pork (This is important, first, it shows the quality of the sausage, second, as the pigs have been outdoor bred, it counts as one of your five a day)
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Get them under the grill and blast with heat. I like my bacon crispy, keep as much of the fat on as possible, adds to the flavour.
This is what you end up with
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100 grams of delicious red Leicester cheese. You may use whichever is your favourite cheese. This counts as one of your five a day.
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Now we need to go back to the bagels, whack a bit of lurpak on the bottom half, and some full fat mayo (none of the light crap) to the top half. This serves two purposes, first, it tastes good. Second, it acts as glue for your cherry tomatoes. The tomatoes are needed to satisfy the vegetarians out there.
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Plenty of tomato sauce (another one of your five a days)
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And here we have, the epic bagel:
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Finish with a good cup of tea (tetley/pg tips preferable, drop of milk, strong) and welcome to manhood.

Replies

  • GrnEydGrl86
    GrnEydGrl86 Posts: 154
    Good job :laugh:
  • Francesca3162
    Francesca3162 Posts: 520 Member
    whats the calorie count on that?
    I want to see if I can fit it in as a snack!!!
    I think that would work out to my whole day, if not a better part of my week!!!
  • Picola1984
    Picola1984 Posts: 1,133
    My epic bagel would be a cinnamon bagel, with peanut butter spread on, stuffed with cookies and phish food ice cream mmmm,
  • TheDoctor90
    TheDoctor90 Posts: 461 Member
    whats the calorie count on that?

    1796 :laugh:
  • Ceffy
    Ceffy Posts: 235
    My epic bagel would be a cinnamon bagel, with peanut butter spread on, stuffed with cookies and phish food ice cream mmmm,

    My jaw just dropped!
    NOM!
  • george29223
    george29223 Posts: 556 Member
    lollllllllllllllllllllllllllll i was soooo hoping 29 calories
  • TheDoctor90
    TheDoctor90 Posts: 461 Member
    lollllllllllllllllllllllllllll i was soooo hoping 29 calories

    The cherry tomatoes are 14 calories...You could have double them :tongue:
  • xMonroeMisfit
    xMonroeMisfit Posts: 411 Member
    :tongue: :tongue: :tongue: :tongue: :tongue: :tongue:
  • simone4uandme
    simone4uandme Posts: 13
    GOOD LAUGH!! :laugh:
  • silvergurl518
    silvergurl518 Posts: 4,123 Member
    WOW! ahhaha. yum? it's a good thing you're trying to gain, not lose ;)
  • TheDoctor90
    TheDoctor90 Posts: 461 Member
    WOW! ahhaha. yum? it's a good thing you're trying to gain, not lose ;)

    I'd suck at losing :laugh:
  • mixedfeelings
    mixedfeelings Posts: 904 Member
    Bloomin' heck! You don't even cut your cherry tomatoes in half! ggrrrrr
  • TheDoctor90
    TheDoctor90 Posts: 461 Member
    Bloomin' heck! You don't even cut your cherry tomatoes in half! ggrrrrr

    It's how I roll.
  • bio_fit
    bio_fit Posts: 307 Member
    Bloomin' heck! You don't even cut your cherry tomatoes in half! ggrrrrr

    It's how I roll.

    Don't they explode and squirt tiny acidic seeds of doom in your eye?!

    (Yes, I had a childhood trauma relating to this)
  • caroldot
    caroldot Posts: 388 Member
    And yet you have abs like that........so unfair!!! :tongue:
  • TheDoctor90
    TheDoctor90 Posts: 461 Member
    Bloomin' heck! You don't even cut your cherry tomatoes in half! ggrrrrr

    It's how I roll.

    Don't they explode and squirt tiny acidic seeds of doom in your eye?!

    (Yes, I had a childhood trauma relating to this)

    No, I carefully maneuver my bite so that it takes an entire tomato in one go. I can eat a full bagel in about 6/7 bites.

    And thank you Carol :laugh:
  • andreacord
    andreacord Posts: 928
    I don't like sausages .. but OMG BACON.
  • roachhaley
    roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
    I love bacon but that looks disgusting.
  • TheDoctor90
    TheDoctor90 Posts: 461 Member
    I love bacon but that looks disgusting.

    startrekmotivationalpos.jpg
  • BigB1924
    BigB1924 Posts: 30
    Key part of this for me was the makes you feel healthy line.
  • TheDoctor90
    TheDoctor90 Posts: 461 Member
    Key part of this for me was the makes you feel healthy line.

    I figured if the birds can eat them...
  • radscorpion
    radscorpion Posts: 55
    GET IN MY MOUTH NOW.
  • TheDoctor90
    TheDoctor90 Posts: 461 Member
    GET IN MY MOUTH NOW.

    Gladly :laugh:

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