Big girl needs motivation/help - Newbie alarm! :)

Sorova

Welcome! This site can be a really valuable tool.

I started at 265 in November and am currently at about 210 (I'm 30, and 5'6"). It has not been easy all of the time, but overall it has been much easier than I thought it would be. A lot of the key to success is mental - have the right attitude, be patient, be persistent, don't obsess, and don't be too hard on yourself.

My approach is simple: I track everything; I try to eat healthy, unprocessed foods; I eat treats (e.g. chocolate) almost every day but in small portions; I walk briskly for 40-60 minutes every day; and I eat somewhere between 1500-1900 calories per day depending on how active I have been and how hungry I feel.

1700ish calories might seem like a lot, but when you are larger, you need more food to fuel the same amount of activity. Don't be fooled into thinking you need to starve to lose weight. You don't. It's a much better idea to keep a moderate deficit, fuel your body with nutritious foods, and be active in ways that are fun, comfortable, and slightly challenging for you. Feel free to add me if you like.

kerbylin

Hi there! I have almost 100lbs to lose. You will find here that there are so many people in the same place as you. I have had alot of support and I'm so thankful for it. I don't know about you but I have good days and bad. Today wasn't such a good day. I lost ounces only after 2 weeks, but when I posted my disappointment on here to my rescue came my supporters. One in particular helps me on a daily basis. She said that if I lose to fast I will not like the way my skin is following the weight loss. Like you I want to learn the correct way to do this. I am losing, but it will take a while and I am determined to do it and learn to do it right. Be encouraged and know that you will have your questions anserwed here by people in the same boat but who have learned from experience it can be done. I would be happy to jump on your band wagon to support you!

Linda

Methinksabout

Thank you lovely ladies for replying - I was gobsmashed to see all these replies here this morning (I haven't figured if I can use the forum on my Iphone, does anyone know?)! I have added you all as my friends and I know with all this support there is only one way to handle this: TO SUCCEED!!
I have yet to look at the success stories but seeing you ladies here with all these brilliant losses and still going strong is helping me already! Am really looking forward to getting to know you all better and exchanging and support one another! Sounds like it is going to be a brilliant time! (never felt quite this way when starting a 'diet' am so so pleased!!

I already feel lighter, maybe that is all the positive vibes that you are sending to me? Whatever it is, I am so happy to have signed on here and found you! Brilliant! Thank you so much for your support!

Methinksabout

Abbiepql:

If done correctly 100 lbs. will not take years to remove. I started at 455 and have lost 213 to date in about 18 months. No surgery, no diet plan, no trainer. I have about 100 to go. Three things to remember - getting healthy is a three prong approach - its a mental, nutrition and activity (exercise) triad. To succeed you have to take all into account. You are still young, so you need to get this taken care of NOW before your forties and hormones start to make it even harder! Understand that this is a way of life for you - for the rest of your life. Know what you want and understand that you will need to make drastic changes in your lifestyle, your environment, your social activities, your relationships, etc. Get straight with your food relationship and if you can't control your portions, buy portioned foods. Know everything you eat, plan ahead and be accountable. Start exercising and MOVE - in whatever way you can - start with 20 minutes everyday but one and build on that. Get your heart rate up and accept that you will be uncomfortable, sweat and breath heavy in order to burn calories - teach your body to use food for what it's meant - disassociate feelings from food as best you can, it's really hard to do! It's hard work and it takes time to relearn what you have done with your eating mind, food and activity up until now. Most importantly know that YOU are the one that will make this work but making the right choices. No one can do it for you - support and motivate, maybe but in the end it's the decisions you make and your dedication to yourself that will give you success.

Thanks Abbie, that is really a huge success!! Well done on shedding nearly half of yourself - I am well impressed!
I have just printed out your comments as this is exactly what I need to get my head around - especially in the beginning! Thank you so much for posting!


Sl1ngsh0t:

Weigh all your portions, no exceptions.

Get a fitbit or some other movement tracking device which measures your daily activity levels.

Drink a lot of water. You'll lose more weight.

Avoid artificial sweeteners and cook, cook, cook.

Good luck!

Hi sl1ngsh0t, thank you for your post and your tipps.
I know I would be a lot more accurate if I would be weighing all my portions, but being at work all day (and atm not quite finding the time to pre-prepare food for work at home) I am afraid I will have to guestimate it a little bit. I know it is not ideal, but from experience I know that weighing half of what I am eating already improves those estimates - I will improve on this on the long run, but right now don't want to take on more than I can chew and feel like a failure because it's all too overwhelming..
Water is my current savior through the day - it keeps me occupied and 'full'
Hmm, avoid artificial sweeteners? Why is that?


Jadedone:

I am shooting for about 85 or so, and I am nearly halfway there. I started at the beginning of the year. It may go faster than you think.

One trick that helps me, is too eat my veggies first. In every meal. I try to either fill my plate with half veggies or eat a salad plate full of veggies before eating my proteins and starches. It usually takes around 10 minutes. The fiber starts making you full. And then if you take 10-20 minutes to eat the "main" you'll be feeling your fullness perhaps before you finish your plate.

Thanks Jadedone, that is a great tipp! At the moment I still feel the need to finish my plate - no matter the size :-( just cannot bear the thought of putting food in the bin.. So I will have to learn to either cook less or bin more :-) Tough call Well done on your loss, that really went quick!

Leelee300

GOOD FOR YOU for taking the first steps! We were all there once. Stay within your calories -- stay away from carbs and sugar as much as possible. I always have a dozen hard boiled eggs on hand (protein protein protien!) and there is no way around it - you HAVE to exercise. Do the classes on cable TV (example: Comcast has excercise TV with all levels of classes - 20 min, 30 min) and that way you can get in shape at home then - take it to a gym or - go right to the gym - whatever you feel comfy with. Best of luck!!!!! you deserve to be healthy!

Hi Leelee300, Thanks for your post. I am living in the UK and so far I have not found any classes on TV - but I have not really looked either :-( I have spend too much money on gyms and then not going - no matter what the reasons were - so I think I should try and get into a routine at home - either in the spare or preferably going jogging at one point! And yes: I deserve to be healthy!!

themommie

I just reached my goal of 100 lbs lost a few weeks ago it took me 21 mths to do it. When I first started 100 lbs seemed overwhelming and impossible I just concentrated on 10 lbs at a time and for every 10 lbs lost rewarded myself with a new pair of earrings. The most important thing is to plan ahead, stick with the 1790 cals if you find after a few weeks you are not losing you can always adjust it. Make sure you do some form of exercise daily when I first started all I did was swim or walk for about 10 mins, then I kept increasing my time. And make sure you log in daily and track your calories and exercise. I hope this helps

Thanks for your post themommie! You are right, 100lbs is a daunting number, well done you for losing it! I have created a little excel sheet with little steps, for every 7lbs a 'silver seven' (yes, I was doing WW at one point ), 5% loss, 10% loss - trying to break it into smaller steps that are easier to achieve - have to think about little non-food treats to spoil myself with when reaching big ones like losing a stone or so. Any ideas?

ahawks98

Hi, I just read your post and I can identify with you. I don't have that many pounds to lose but I am just as confused as you are about my calorie intake. I thought the point was to take in less than what you burned but apparently not. I feel like giving up but I can't, at 51 I want to lose some weight so I can age "gracefully" rather than looking forward to pain killers and happy pills for my aches and pains caused by in-activity.
Let's keep it up and try to eat healthier and keep on moving, we can do it!!!

Happy pills sounds quite good though No, seriously, I know what you mean and I am with you - not that the age is important at all, we all can only live in the now and create a healthier future for us! And yes: WE CAN DO IT!

Methinksabout

Cari4c1:

Feel free to add me as well. I have been on MFP for about a year or so, but only recently really started using it. The main things I would say are to watch out of processed foods. When I very first started changing my eating habits I started educating myself on the ingredients in foods. Basically when I look at the ingredients list, is it a huge list of chemicals and a bunch of words I don't know how to pronounce? If so, then I don't eat it. It needs to be actual ingredients from actual food. Honestly when I started doing that I was too grossed out to eat much of the food that I previously ate. I do still eat some processed foods like ice cream, but it's not very often. I also started adding fruit to my meals as well as a veggie or 2. That's where I started anyways. I hated fruits, but now I enjoy them. Same with veggies.

Also, as far as exercise goes, I would suggest starting slow. Just going for a walk can do wonders and it's a great place to start if you don't already exercise. Then build from there.

As far as your calories go, if you answered all the MFP questions honestly then the calories they give you is probably pretty accurate.

The most important thing to remember in all this is to NEVER QUIT and DON'T give up! You CAN do this! You will probably have days that you mess up and eat something you shouldn't, but don't let that 1 day become a week or a month of bad eating. Let it just be that 1 day and then the next day get back up and get on the wagon again and DON'T beat yourself up about it. We all fall off some days. Good luck!!

Hi Cari, I am trying to eat as healthy as possible and to cook as much as possible from scratch. I like fruits and veggies but I also like everything else - healthy or not :-) so focussing more on the healthy intake is definitly on my list!
I have answered everything honestly, and it actually is a brilliant idea to lose weight while eating loads If I now really start losing weight I will be over the moon!
Your last para is really a brilliant thought - and I will definitely make that a part of my goals! Thank you!


Jzaz903:

Feel free to add me! I'm 21, currently weigh 235lbs, and my daily cals are set to 1750. My first goal is to weigh 200lbs, but i hve several goals after that as well. i know it's not what the boards say to do, but I let MFP tell me what to eat and go with it(until it stops working!) I try to eat as close to my goal as possible, eating back exercise calories(some) usually as well. Things can get confusing if you read the boards often- I do what MFP tells me to, while learning portion control and new healthy foods, and I've lost 35 lbs since January.

Hi Jzaz, I think especially in the beginning I will try and do the same, just keep an eye on my cal intake and focus on changing my eating habit towards healthy food. Everything else will hopefully come once I feel more settled in this weight-losing game! And well done on your loss!


Photogrrl:

I wonder if you're confusing BMR and TDEE? TDEE is basically the number of calories you personally need to maintain your current weight. BMR or "Basal Metabolic Rate "is a number of calories your body would burn if you would rest in bed for the whole day, it is the total number of calories that are spent to maintain basic body functions. You typically should be eating ABOVE your BMR...(there are exceptions to this, of course)

The recommendations on MFP can be a little off...but unless I am totally mistaken, the best way to calculate your daily calories for weight loss is to find your TDEE (total daily energy expenditure) and subtract 15% (that's where that calorie deficit comes from).

Try this site for calculations, someone sent me there and it was helpful:
http://www.fat2fitradio.com/tools/

Hope that helps a little

And yes, you could cut out the unhealthy work snacks and lose weight just by doing that...just think, if you were eating an extra 500 calories per day in those snacks, by cutting them out you'd automatically drop 500 calories from your daily intake...and you could replace them with healthier lower-calorie snacks so you aren't hungry

Hi Photogrrl,
I don't think I have touched TDEE at all yet, but I have checked my BMR on the homepage you gave me and this is the result: "the Harris-Benedict formula. Based on this formula, your current BMR is 2014 calories. " I also received the warning, that with my weightloss goal of -100lbs I would be eating below my BMR and I should adjust my goal.. When I adjusted it it still had the same BMR (obviously) but now gave the recommendation of 2052 cal /day and said "It is OK to eat a few hundred calories less per day (200-300) to speed up your weight loss at this point." So I guess MFP is right on track with giving me 1790 to lose weight. But I guess this is the minimum and I really should not go below it (AND eating all my exercise cals??)? (or am I messing it up again?)
If I understood TDEE correctly, it is calculated by BMR x 1,2 (for sedentary work) so that would be 2416cals/day. So in theorie I am cutting down by 626cal/day - that sounds pretty close to 1,5lbs loss per week (always provided I don't do any exercise). Or is there another way of calculating the TDEE? I know it's a pain but could you (or someone else) please quickly confirm this, just to make sure that I understood the terms and did it correctly? Thanks!
[even though when I substract 15% of that TDEE I end up with 2053cal/day - so way more than the recommendation here. Now do you see why I am confused?]
And yes, I definitely want to cut those treats out - today is my first 'challenge' as my boss just brought in chocolates and cakes for his birthday.. So far am staying strong!
Ke1ra78:

Hi... feel free to add me.

My daily cals are set by MFP at 1430 as i am very active. I do about 500-800 cals of exercise daily. If i added this to my allowance i could eat around 2000 cals daily. I tend to stick around 1430 on my net cals so my actual intake is around 1700. This means my body is keeping the 1430cals MFP says it needs as the others have been used by my exercise. Hope this makes sense. my diary is open to my friends so if you add me you'll see what i mean. Good Luck. :-)

Thanks Ke1ra, I think I don’t really understand how you can keep the net cals on 1430 if you are eating around 1700 while exercising 500-800? Thought you need to eat all your exercise cals to keep the net on the same level? *confused* - sorry, but what am I missing?

Methinksabout

Danibabs:

Don't feel you're too big/out of shape to work out!! If anything, the more out of shape you are the more progress you'll see cause your body has farther to go. My sister is about your weight and she runs, lifts weights, swims - she just had to find what she enjoys and stick with it.
The best way to stay motivated is to make short term goals - so do that NOW. I usually pick an exercise program (like C25K) and do that for about 8 weeks along with setting certain nutritional goals - whether it be getting enough protein, drinking a certain amount of water, or trying new foods. It's so much easier to focus on goals when you can clearly see the end. Then when that time period is up, evaluate your progress and set your next goal to build on that.
Good luck! And feel free to shoot me a message or whatever - I already friend requested you!

Hi Danibabs - and thanks for the request! It is great to know that your sister is so active - that is definitely an example to aim for! Which I am :-) I have a lot of things going on during June (so of course this is not the right time to start a new regime - but when if not now??) So I will postpone a "proper exercise program" like the C25K until the beginning of July, but I will definitely start walking and moving in general more to build up a base to start from! And I am looking forward to it already! That's why I am trying to focus on getting into a routine food/drinks-wise at the moment to feel more confident in what I am doing and then can focus properly on the exercise when I am starting that! Hope this doesn't sound too much as an excuse? ;-)

Ldmrogers01:

Keep reading and learning and tracking your food intake. Once I knew what my serving sizes SHOULD be, it helped me a lot. I still snack my fool head off. But I eat fruits and veggies and such.

One pound of Weight Loss is a 3500 calories deficit. It's doable. Just go slow and be gentle with yourself!

Thanks Ldmrogers for your words! It definitely helps to break it down into proper and smaller numbers - I am sure I can manage to lose omit 3500 calories a week! Now I only have to convince my body that this is exactly what it wants and needs and that it shall not go into starvation mode! :-)

SuffolkSally:

The only extra thing I'd add (sorry if this adds to the confusion - it's not meant to!) is that you need to know your BMR and your TDEE - I've found it best to google for one of the many free online ones. Most of the best advice on here (although there's a lot of disagreement and everyone has to do what they believe is best for themselves) is to eat at least your BMR because this is your basic calorie requirement even if you were comatose.

Eating less than that will tend to slow you down in the longer term and you can much more detail on this site about the thinking behind that. Your TDEE is the number of calories you actually use on an average day - and although you may not exercise as such you're clearly not totally inactive, you have a job during the day, you get there and back, you presumably live somewhere you look after - etc, etc. Eat less than your TDEE - remember to recalculate once in while as the weight goes off as you'll be carrying less around - but eat at least your BMR and you should lose weight steadily and healthily even if sometimes the scale doesn't move for a week or two.

Best of luck, and I'm looking forward to reading your success story...

Thanks Sally (my fellow UKler - I mentioned to Photogrrl above that I have checked my BMR on another homepage and it always seem to be between 2000 and 2100 - so quite a lot already. But STILL MFP recommends 1790 as my daily cal. That is exactly the point that I find hard to swallow, that if I eat pretty much the recommended daily allowance of a (ok, nomalweight) woman, that I will lose. But if this is true (and I have been reading a lot on this forum about this - and the arguments (and success stories) are really convincing!) then I would be delighted!! :-)
Thanks for your explanations - I still have to read a lot to finally get my head around it, but am sure I will be getting there in the end!

Sorova:

Welcome! This site can be a really valuable tool.

I started at 265 in November and am currently at about 210 (I'm 30, and 5'6"). It has not been easy all of the time, but overall it has been much easier than I thought it would be. A lot of the key to success is mental - have the right attitude, be patient, be persistent, don't obsess, and don't be too hard on yourself.

My approach is simple: I track everything; I try to eat healthy, unprocessed foods; I eat treats (e.g. chocolate) almost every day but in small portions; I walk briskly for 40-60 minutes every day; and I eat somewhere between 1500-1900 calories per day depending on how active I have been and how hungry I feel.

1700ish calories might seem like a lot, but when you are larger, you need more food to fuel the same amount of activity. Don't be fooled into thinking you need to starve to lose weight. You don't. It's a much better idea to keep a moderate deficit, fuel your body with nutritious foods, and be active in ways that are fun, comfortable, and slightly challenging for you. Feel free to add me if you like.

Thank you Sorova for sharing! I am trying to be exactly that: "have the right attitude, be patient, be persistent, don't obsess, and don't be too hard on yourself." :-) It's so hard not to obsess though ;-) My first two days have been quite good I think, but that might well be because I am focussing my main cal intake on my dinner so I don't have to change that too much - but am planning on adjusting that little by little For the beginning I also feel that I have to stay away from treats as chocolates etc but I know that on the long run I have to lern to incorporate them and not to forbid myself anything. But I would rather not risk that right in the beginning (if that makes sense?)

Kerbylin:

Hi there! I have almost 100lbs to lose. You will find here that there are so many people in the same place as you. I have had alot of support and I'm so thankful for it. I don't know about you but I have good days and bad. Today wasn't such a good day. I lost ounces only after 2 weeks, but when I posted my disappointment on here to my rescue came my supporters. One in particular helps me on a daily basis. She said that if I lose to fast I will not like the way my skin is following the weight loss. Like you I want to learn the correct way to do this. I am losing, but it will take a while and I am determined to do it and learn to do it right. Be encouraged and know that you will have your questions anserwed here by people in the same boat but who have learned from experience it can be done. I would be happy to jump on your band wagon to support you!
Linda

Hi Kerbylin! It really does look like I am not the only with such a huge amount of weight to work off, and I am so thankful for all your support and the realisation that I am not alone is so helpful! My last two days have both been v good, but I am sure that that will change and will make sure not to forget about all the positive vibes that this forum is so readily sending out and all the tipps everyone shares. I am sorry to hear that your day was not the best, but I am sure you will have better days again and the weight will all come off eventually - from previous diets I experienced that most of the time when we don't lose anything (or hardly anything) for a couple of weeks, if we just stick with it the weight will eventually shift in one lovely number! I know we can do it! Thank you for sharing your bad day, I think this is just as important (if not more) to see ppl struggling (just as I know I will) but keeping at it - I find this highly motivating! Thank you!

Methinksabout

A huuuge thank you goes out to all of you lovely ladies helping and supporting me and offering your friendship - that really means a lot to me!
I am starting to get my head around eating plenty - not that I am complaining, I think I am more worried that it sounds too good to be true and won't work! :-)
I know I have only just started but already I have to take a short break from the forum here as I have friends from Germany coming over to visit me this weekend and though I will try and watch my food (thought it won't be representative of a normal weekend am afraid) and I will definitely write everything down, but I still I doubt that I will be able to comment here.. So I hope you do all do understand and don't think of me of being a fad 2 day enthusiast who won't stick to what she says and runs off on the first weekend - but I had to start at one point and I definitley did/do not want to postpone it unnecessarily!
Thanks again to all of you! And I am looking forward to catching up with all of you on Monday!

jadedone

Jadedone:

I am shooting for about 85 or so, and I am nearly halfway there. I started at the beginning of the year. It may go faster than you think.

One trick that helps me, is too eat my veggies first. In every meal. I try to either fill my plate with half veggies or eat a salad plate full of veggies before eating my proteins and starches. It usually takes around 10 minutes. The fiber starts making you full. And then if you take 10-20 minutes to eat the "main" you'll be feeling your fullness perhaps before you finish your plate.

Thanks Jadedone, that is a great tipp! At the moment I still feel the need to finish my plate - no matter the size :-( just cannot bear the thought of putting food in the bin.. So I will have to learn to either cook less or bin more :-) Tough call Well done on your loss, that really went quick!

Smaller plates!

I put my main course in a flat bowl that is around 7 inches wide or on my salad plate. And the salads go on the dinner plate.

But trying the 50% veggies on the plate, then 25% protein, 25% starch can work well as long as you don't pile too high.

I have been a member of the clean plate club for a long time, and this is one of my struggles. Smaller plats have helped a lot for me. And if I get full, I put the plate away..and save it for a snack for later so I don't feel like I am wasting.