does everyone else's opinion matter?

mcohan

i am having trouble dealing with everyone else criticizing my new lifestyle... they jump down my throat if i dont want a late night dinner or some ice cream, stuff like that. what do i do about it? am i wrong? are they wrong? i know they are just concerned that i am putting too much emphasis on losing weight but ia m tired of everyone forcing me to eat food that i just dont want...

vanimami

The issue w/ losing weight and changing your lifestyle is that a lot of times, the people that surround your aren't on a diet and don't want you to change w/ them. It could be insecurity, jealousy, etc. My friends use to always get mad at me and force me to go out to eat w/ them and eat unhealthy foods, but I chose not to hang out with those people. Try to surround yourself with supportive people who are happy for you and who are on your journey with you.

Also, sometimes it could be that they feel you don't need to lose weight. My grandmother loves to force food at me and doesn't understand how difficult it is, but she thinks I'm fine, so that's a whole other scenario.

gettinfitmama

Personally I think they are wrong.
You have made a conscious choice to eat healthier and lead a better lifestyle but like anything else, it takes time to get used to it. You may have the motivation to stay on track but it'll be tough for friends or family to accept the new you for a while.
I guess I would try to steer clear of the "sabotagers" for a while.
Or have a frank discussion with them and say that you can't spend time with them until they can accept that you don't want the late night meals or treats.

Best of luck to you! I think we have all dealt with that type of person before.

mcohan

yea they do not think i need to lose weight....thats the problem. and i feel like their lives revolve around food which drives me nuts because there are so many other things to do and stuff to talk about beyond "whats for dinner" you know?

melissalynnlarue

Oh, I so feel for you.

Here's my short answer - their opinions do NOT matter. For the most part.

Here's what I've realized about my own body - processed sugars increase my allergy sensitivities to regular allergens like tree pollen and dust and cats, irritability shoots up, and energy slumps. So, avoiding foods like ice cream (or yes, eating too late at night) isn't just about weight loss for me, it's about my overall well-being. And that should be reason enough.

I do whatever I can to not draw attention to myself, though - i.e. I don't make a big deal out of not eating late or whatever. Sometimes I'll have a teeny plate with a couple of small things just to keep the attention off of what I'm *not* doing.

It's hard hard HARD to change your lifestyle (and good for YOU!) when you don't have support. I totally *get* you on that one. You will, however, find lots of support here at MFP.

Best of luck to you - keep us posted on how you're doing!

annaliza

I don't know...

Are you someone who is underweight trying to lose more weight? Or are you a person who does not need to lose weight but can only see a fat person in the mirror?

Family and friends see things that we cannot see here so in that sense, their opinions would count - even more so than ours on this board.

If a loved one of mine is spiraling down in an eating disorder, then I would hope that they would listen to me.

I hope that is not the case with you. I would take a good look at yourself and ask why everyone around you is acting like this. Maybe talk to them and find out what their underlying concerns are.

vanimami

yea they do not think i need to lose weight....thats the problem. and i feel like their lives revolve around food which drives me nuts because there are so many other things to do and stuff to talk about beyond "whats for dinner" you know?

I hate that, people tell me I don't need to lose weight, but everyone has their own opinion of themselves and if you think you need to lose weight and if you want to lose weight that's up to you, not them

kandyjo

I had a similar issue, but the "others" in my story weren't being mean, ugly or rude :laugh: So, what I did was just explained to everyone that I have started a new lifestyle....and that lifestyle does not involve eating late and eating things that would sabotage my weight loss. Everyone took it well and are being very encouraging...
I can't imagine anyone not being supportive of someone trying to improve their health, but if this is the case, just limit your time around them (if possible)....

amymeenieminymo

If they are doing this every night of the week, then that's a problem. But I hate to deprive myself while others are having fun, so I try to save a cheat night for when I know I will be hanging out with people. For example, I am having some family over tomorrow night so I know to work out extra and maybe cheat a little becasue I would hate to eat a salad while they're all enjoying pizza or something. But that doesn't mean an all out pig out.....a slice or two of pizza so I can still stay within my range but also have fun.

You may also want to try talking to them at a time when you're not angry about them just having hasseled you about it. One night I told my boyfriend, while I know I am ultimately responsible for what I eat, I told him I need help and if I already have dinner planned, I need him to not suggest going out to eat for something that will be unhealthy. He may not always stick to it and be perfect, but he is trying.

FluffnStuff

I guess in the big picture... DOES their opinion matter to YOU?

I mean, we can all sit here and say yes and no and maybe... but what it boils down to is... Does it matter to you what these friends think and say... cause they will say something.

Individually we have to decide who's opinions matter and who's don't.
I mean, they could be freaking out for several reasons.... maybe just talking to them about what you are doing and WHY you are doing it. Health, looks, etc.... Maybe it will help them understand and realize that you aren't going to force them to live that lifestyle too.

artschoolgirl

I agree with amymeenieminymo, my lifestyle is always living as healthy as I can but within reason. Don't ever deprive yourself of foods, like once a week it's okay to go out and have that meal out or it's okay to have a little slice of cake on someone's birthday. All within moderation. So I would just tell your friends that you can have one night out a week or so and then the other times why not go to a movie together & you can bring your own healthy snacks & drink or splurge on a little popcorn, go out for a walk together to catch up, a bike ride, or go go somewhere where they can eat/drink what they want but that there's also good choices for you. I like going to coffee shops where I can get a tea and my boyfriend can get a grande mocha milky fatty thing haha. We always share a dessert as well, which makes a huge difference. Don't worry, you'll get there by watching your diet 70-80% of the time and exercise, trust me. And they will realize why you resisted so much temptation and how much hard work you put in when you show up for a night out with a hot new look :laugh: There might come a time where you have to put yourself first & take a little time off from them until you feel you've worked your way in the a healthy mind set. Overall, I think you're doing an amazing thing for yourself & don't let anyone else get in the way! Best of luck!