Scared of my weight...

(Probably TMI) I went to the gynocologist on wednesday for my yearly exam and because me and my Significant Other are thinking about having kids since I graduate from college soon and I'm very irregular and have always been so I wanted to make sure I didnt have any issues before we started attempting. I was floored when my Doctor told me that I stopped ovulating- most likely because of my weight- and if I dont lose a large amount of weight I am at a very high risk of several different cancers and diabetes, on top of not being able to have kids. This scared me into now two going on three days of not being able to eat without getting sick because I'm terrified to gain more weight. and now its just a reflex that anything with calories comes back up almost instantly. How do I make this stop?

My SO works at a 24 hour fitness center and I went to see him at work and work out. I almost passed out because I got so dizzy and when I went swimming after wards to work out some more I got pool water in my mouth and got sick. I'm currently sucking on ice right now because its all I can keep down. How do I fix this.

Replies

  • yarwell
    yarwell Posts: 10,477 Member
    Eating isn't going to increase your weight, but eating too much is. Take a deep breath, relax, sit down and think how much you should be eating to achieve a sensible rate of weight loss over the next 6 months to a year. Then think about the foods you like, can afford, can buy easily etc to match that eating plan.

    Figure out the calories a day needed for your current lifestyle and weight (tools on here) then subtract 100/day calories for each 10 lbs you want to lose over the long term - 5 lbs of which will be lost in a year.

    You'll be able to eat three good meals and the odd snack and still lose weight. You just have to pay attention to what the meals consist of and their portion sizes.
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
    That is some very scary business.. and I'm sorry you have to go through all this.

    That being said.. don't be scared of food.... It's not your enemy. Eat what you normally would, but just in smaller portions and track it on the site.. you'll be surprised how much calories some of those foods have!

    Also, as far as exercise goes.. don't over do it. Start off small and build up to major sessions. Ask SO if he can recommend somethings for your since he works at a gym.
  • JenniTheVeggie
    JenniTheVeggie Posts: 2,474 Member
    Feel free to add me as a friend.....
  • nsblue
    nsblue Posts: 331 Member
    it is health issues that usually are a factor that make people realize weight needs to come off..... happened to me. you are still young... I hope you can grasp the significance it is to lose for your health... focus and do it... you will be happy you did. you can do it!!
  • sandrajune72
    sandrajune72 Posts: 492 Member
    That is some very scary business.. and I'm sorry you have to go through all this.

    That being said.. don't be scared of food.... It's not your enemy. Eat what you normally would, but just in smaller portions and track it on the site.. you'll be surprised how much calories some of those foods have!

    Also, as far as exercise goes.. don't over do it. Start off small and build up to major sessions. Ask SO if he can recommend somethings for your since he works at a gym.

    ^this^

    Bless ya. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time of it. I wish you all the luck in the world :flowerforyou:
  • moepwr
    moepwr Posts: 335 Member
    That is some very scary business.. and I'm sorry you have to go through all this.

    That being said.. don't be scared of food.... It's not your enemy. Eat what you normally would, but just in smaller portions and track it on the site.. you'll be surprised how much calories some of those foods have!

    Also, as far as exercise goes.. don't over do it. Start off small and build up to major sessions. Ask SO if he can recommend somethings for your since he works at a gym.

    ^this^

    Bless ya. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time of it. I wish you all the luck in the world :flowerforyou:

    Ditto

    make sure you go slow. join a learn to run program or look up learn to swim. two months ago i was swimming one lap andfeeling winded and exhausted. now i swim in 10 min chunks with 5 min paddle in between 4 times. This week I am increasing again. Good luck! Message me if you can't find a learn to swim program.
  • DaveC29
    DaveC29 Posts: 232 Member
    Me and my wife have been in your shoes... Bad eating habits are easy to form and hard to break- but it can be done! It may take a while, but changing the habit is easy- just watch what you eat and LOG EVERYTHING! the only rule to cheating is not logging it in. You will find that it gets easier to budget in your favorite foods. There is plenty of support here if you have questions!

    There is no magic pill to take- just eating healthier and exercise! The results you will begin to see quickly if you are honest with yourself and sincerely try to improve your diet and exercise habits- Lower blood pressure, better control of blood sugar, more energy, easier breathing, etc. The greatest joy I have found is not on the scale, but in realizing you can so things you haven't been able to do for a while. Just enjoy the journey!

    Good luck on your lifestyle change journey! Feel free to add me if you like!
  • i know how you feel, i'm finally making lifestyle changes, but am enjoying it too, not only have i changed my eating habbits but more impotantly have started to exercise, i was concous of how i looked so i've started zumba at home and have now joined a class once a week, i dont feel so bad about jumping around now and already it has given me a confidence boost. i know it isnt going to happen overnight but having a supportive network around you makes a HUGE difference, good luck with it
  • luvsunshine1
    luvsunshine1 Posts: 878 Member
    Your doctor told you this to scare you a little into making a change; and looks like he/she did!
    Those problems discussed probably won't occur soon, but if you continue the same weight/lifestyle
    then, down the road, you will have problems.
    I'm really sorry that it's affecting you like this. You've got to eat. I agree with those who say that
    you just need to put your numbers into myfitnesspal and just follow the calorie goal. If you do, the
    weight will come off...gradually, like it should. I'm proof of this, I've got a significant amount to lose,
    but it is slowly coming off week after week. You can do this. There is nothing you can do about
    not ovulating except to get started on the weight loss.
    I hope you can get yourself to be able to eat, I'm so sorry that your going through this. People on
    this site are very encouraging so utilize them. I wish you all the best.
  • coolbluecris
    coolbluecris Posts: 228 Member
    The people above me have spoken well, and I will just add that being active is excellent, but if your food choices are high calorie, you won't lose weight. The interesting thing is that high calorie foods don't always look ilke high calorie foods until you look them up and know.

    I have seen really large people here get down to normal weights, so its not impossible for you. Anyone can create a calorie deficit with proper tracking, and you can too.

    The doctor has shocked you, but don't let it stun you into inaction. If you do nothing, you'll be the same next year. Start today tracking your food and exercise, do it day by day by day, and you will succeed. >As each day passes that you've stayed within your calories and exercised, you will feel a sense of achievement, and the anxiety that is causing you to not be able to eat, will go away. Trust me, it will.

    Hugs to you, you WILL succeed. Add me as a friend, I'm happy to chat :-)
    Cristina xx :flowerforyou:
  • nell1972
    nell1972 Posts: 19
    Oh gosh, you poor girl.....you've certainly taken this news badly haven't you! Here, have a virtual ((hug)).

    Look, sit down, relax, and stop panicking for a second. It is going to take time to lose weight - it doesn't vanish overnight (unfortunately), and you're going to have to play the long game. If this is the first time you've ever entered the fray of changing all of your lifetime habits and eating for your health, of course it's terrifying!

    But it won't be like this forever. Don't torture yourself....take a little time to do some reading around healthy ways to lose weight slowly, and if for today, or even tomorrow, you can't face eating, then don't force it. I know, I know it isn't healthy to fast, but you seem to be having a mental crisis right now.....you won't die from not eating from 48 hours, it will just make you feel weak and horrible. And you feel awful anyway!

    In the meantime, hatch yourself a little plan - don't set the goals too high, and don't set targets which you cannot reasonably achieve - and take it one day at a time.

    Today, you are going to quit panicking and make a plan to get back in control - and when you are, I'm sure it will start to get easier and you'll be eating again.

    I wish you the very best of luck, you'll do just fine....we're all here to support you!!

    S x
  • mom2mozart
    mom2mozart Posts: 307 Member
    Your doctor told you this to scare you a little into making a change; and looks like he/she did!
    Those problems discussed probably won't occur soon, but if you continue the same weight/lifestyle
    then, down the road, you will have problems.
    I'm really sorry that it's affecting you like this. You've got to eat. I agree with those who say that
    you just need to put your numbers into myfitnesspal and just follow the calorie goal. If you do, the
    weight will come off...gradually, like it should. I'm proof of this, I've got a significant amount to lose,
    but it is slowly coming off week after week. You can do this. There is nothing you can do about
    not ovulating except to get started on the weight loss.
    I hope you can get yourself to be able to eat, I'm so sorry that your going through this. People on
    this site are very encouraging so utilize them. I wish you all the best.

    I agree wholeheartedly. Your doctor meant to scare you. Obesity is scary You are so young, but
    simple changes in your life WILL make a huge difference. I never stopped eating - I eat plenty - and
    do moderate exercise - and have lost 27 pounds in the past 3 months. Feel free to look at my diary.

    Do not starve yourself. Track your food, track your exercise, try to stay within the parameters set
    by MFP (or close to them - eating a balanced diet) and the weight will begin to melt away.
    You have come the right place for support. My other advice - eat fresh fruits and vegetables daily.
    Good luck.
  • amyy902
    amyy902 Posts: 290 Member
    WOW, thats obviously a lot to take in. but not eating isnt going to help you really. you need to think sensibly. if you want a baby your body needs to be ultimately healthy. this means yes probably loosing weight, and taking in exercise. its not a hard thing to do im sure of it - in fact i know its not im a trainer and work with people who are trying to do this all the time.

    make lifestyle changes. you need to start going to the gym, start cutting back on your intake, replace with healthy produces, lean proteins, fruits veggies and calciums iron etc, and fuel your body so you and your guy can get to the stage you can have a family. get proper nutrtion. id suggest maybe going to see a dietician as they can suggest foods that promote ovulationyyyy health stuff :) see a trainer and get a plan sorted out for you. obviously you need to build up your fitness levels. you dont want to be pushing yourself so hard to start with seeing as you went dizzy - this can be a sign you were making your heart work too hard causing your bp to rise, but as you exercise you heart will get stronger and pump more efficiently.

    rememebr its not a sprtint loosing weight, this is something your doing for your health, its a marathon that shouldnt really have an end. life style changes :)

    dont worry, you can do it :)
  • crafterpaula
    crafterpaula Posts: 47 Member
    hi I can feel for you because I was 108 lbs over weight and been trying to lose it for about 26 yrs and finallly thought i am never going to succeed no matter how hard i tried i lose 20 then put back 30 you know how it is! anyway 2 years ago i went to my dr's and well lets say it wasn 't pretty but it gave me the strength to really wake up and smell the coffee my dr told me i was borderline diabetic, my blood pressure was bad ,cholesteral was up and my knees had lost alot of cartalage so all i could vision was me in 10 yrs in a wheelchair with my husband taking care of me! that wasn't happening ! i had joined tops [to diet sensibly] club ! the most supportive club i've ever been with and very afordable..... they really helped me! plus I joined a gym got a trainer not that you need a trainer but theres many things i couldn't do so i got one and it was the best thing i ever done for myself! anyway went on many diets and in a yr i got it off i am now 108 pds lighter! but still have my bad days because old habits die hard! anyway the reason i shared my story is because I understand what you are going through ,. my advice is the first thing is you need to lose the weight is [wanting to do it for you] and only you! the reason i am saying this is because of all the reasons you need to lose the weight and those reason are still there but i want you to think that you are worth it and you want to feel better you need to put yourself first! then all the other reason that you need to lose the weight will slowly dissapear in the proccess , another tip is when your body stops losing and after awhile your body gets used to the way you are dieting you need to switch it up just to trick it into losing again then after a while if you liked the diet then goe back to after awhile ! it worked for me! and don't think of it as a diet think of it as a change of lifestyle because after you succeed you'll alway have to be on top of it ! AND YOU WILL SUCCEED ! every day tell ourself that! ps ! i hope i helped!
  • StarvingDiva
    StarvingDiva Posts: 1,107 Member
    (Probably TMI) I went to the gynocologist on wednesday for my yearly exam and because me and my Significant Other are thinking about having kids since I graduate from college soon and I'm very irregular and have always been so I wanted to make sure I didnt have any issues before we started attempting. I was floored when my Doctor told me that I stopped ovulating- most likely because of my weight- and if I dont lose a large amount of weight I am at a very high risk of several different cancers and diabetes, on top of not being able to have kids. This scared me into now two going on three days of not being able to eat without getting sick because I'm terrified to gain more weight. and now its just a reflex that anything with calories comes back up almost instantly. How do I make this stop?

    My SO works at a 24 hour fitness center and I went to see him at work and work out. I almost passed out because I got so dizzy and when I went swimming after wards to work out some more I got pool water in my mouth and got sick. I'm currently sucking on ice right now because its all I can keep down. How do I fix this.

    Did she tell you that you had PCOS? If you've been having irregular periods all your life and you aren't ovulating, it's possible that you have PCOS. There is a PCOS board on here. Anyhow, I have PCOS and weight loss is definitely significant in getting your hormones regulated. I had irregular periods when I was younger until I went on the pill, but I did not want to be on the pill any longer so I did accupuncture for a year to get my period regulated, since I've lost 30 lbs I started ovulating. I did this with no meds, typically with PCOS they try to push meds, but I resisted.

    Anyhow, you may not have PCOS or maybe your doctor isn't familiar with it, you just seem to have some of the symptoms.
  • verptwerp
    verptwerp Posts: 3,659 Member
    I'm sure you are scared, but take a deep breath ...... it does take time, but things will get better ...... small changes make big differences, so start by ditching any junk food, make healthiest choices at each meal, and go for a walk or a swim each day ...... baby steps to create good habits ..........

    MAKE YOUR HEALTH YOUR FIRST PRIORITY !
  • llaffradi
    llaffradi Posts: 2
    Calm down, I too am in the medical field and your doctor is over reacting!! There are lots of overweight people out there with tons of kids and they are not all dying of cancer for heavens sake. She or he was trying to shock you into getting serious about your weight and it worked too well. If I were you I would go back to my family doctor and ask to be referred to a nutritionist let them know your goals and they whill work with you to develop a healthy diet and that is what you need and eventually your baby will need. Food is not the enemy we all just have to get off the junk food and garbage and eat healthy. In the meantime tell yourself you are going to learn to enjoy the good food and know you are nurturing your body in a healthy way that will eventually bring you to your goals. As for exercise moderation is the key start out slow with walking or something you enjoy doing and gradually increase your tolerance level. As you lose weight you will be able to do more and more. I would find a new gyn too. Some doctors are jerks.

    Good luck in your journey to a healthier you and you will be a mommy before you know it.
  • EliBond
    EliBond Posts: 23
    I'm so sorry to hear your news, but MFP is a great place to find all the support you need to achieve your goals!
    If you follow their guidelines and (as others have said) are diligent about logging everything you'll start losing weight more quickly and painlessly than you may have thought.

    Good Luck

    Feel free to add me as a friend :)

    xx
  • EliBond
    EliBond Posts: 23
    Calm down, I too am in the medical field and your doctor is over reacting!! There are lots of overweight people out there with tons of kids and they are not all dying of cancer for heavens sake. She or he was trying to shock you into getting serious about your weight and it worked too well. If I were you I would go back to my family doctor and ask to be referred to a nutritionist let them know your goals and they whill work with you to develop a healthy diet and that is what you need and eventually your baby will need. Food is not the enemy we all just have to get off the junk food and garbage and eat healthy. In the meantime tell yourself you are going to learn to enjoy the good food and know you are nurturing your body in a healthy way that will eventually bring you to your goals. As for exercise moderation is the key start out slow with walking or something you enjoy doing and gradually increase your tolerance level. As you lose weight you will be able to do more and more. I would find a new gyn too. Some doctors are jerks.

    Good luck in your journey to a healthier you and you will be a mommy before you know it.

    This ^ hehe x
  • Michelle650
    Michelle650 Posts: 218
    I have spent so long being "scarred" of eating because the so called normal way to lose weight is to eat low amounts of calories ie 1200! This is not the case at all! Im still coming to terms with it myself. Up your calories, it really does work!! Find out your TDEE and minus 20% away from that to get the amount of calories you should be eating!

    Also, look for the group: Eat more to weigh less, they tell you about everything to expect when upping calories!!

    Good luck!!
  • CyberEd312
    CyberEd312 Posts: 3,536 Member
    it is health issues that usually are a factor that make people realize weight needs to come off..... happened to me. you are still young... I hope you can grasp the significance it is to lose for your health... focus and do it... you will be happy you did. you can do it!!

    This!! could not have said it any better. This is a crossroad in your life and you can either let it scare you to the point you do nothing about it or you can embrace it and use it as motivation to start on the path to better health and a new you... I did find out that I had Type 2 diabetes the week after I had that AHA moment and I thought of my sister who I lost to this disease in 1993 and I could have fallen back on old habits that got me to 560 lbs. but I made a choice that I was not going to let this disease or my weight define me anymore and that I deserve so much more than I had given myself over the last 39 years so I started my journey taking baby steps at first but continuing to put one foot in front of the other. In 3 weeks I will have reached my 3 year anniversary and as of now I have lost 306 lbs. over that time and literally saved my own life.... All things are possible you just have to believe that they are and work very hard to achieve them.. It all up to you..... Best of Luck....
  • I know how you feel but you have got to get past the mental issue you are having with food. Keep everything tracked stay under your calories and you can give yourself the piece of mind that you are doing everything you can to change you situation. Add some friends for support and know that you aren't alone and this has happened to other people too, and your going to be just fine and the weight will come off and then you will have the babies you are hoping for. I speak from experience saying get healthy first for you and your future babies. Don't be afraid of food that's even worse, I keep everything charted down I know how much of each macro I need and I stay under them and then that helps ease my mind. Everything will be okay, just take a deep breath.
  • jhardenbergh
    jhardenbergh Posts: 1,035 Member
    Outside of being very unhealthy and overweight, my wife and I wanted to have a baby. We tried on and off again for over a year. Finally after losing more than 300 lbs between us, we not only got our wish of being healthy, but we have a baby on the way. I agree with others when they say don't overdo the exercise. I have been rushed to the emergency room in March 2011 for deydration. If I have any advice, it is drink lots of water, on days you workout you should drink more than the recommended 64 oz. You should drink half your body weight in ounces a day. When I was rushed to the emergency room, I felt dizzy, nauseus, and thinks got blurry and bright. It felt like I was gonna die. My BP was like 80/40. If you eat you will not gain wait if you eat too much you will. Get with a dietician or set your goal here and try your best to follow. For exercise, maybe start with walking to get your body use to it, especially if you haven't done any exercise in the recent past. Don't let your starting weight scare you, we all started somewhere, I was almost 380 lbs and I was the same way, but then I thought hey that's the last time that number will be on the scale and it's the worst it will ever be and as you lose the weight it helps you realize, I know it sounds obvious, you are healthier than you were before. When I was heavy I would think one morning I will not wake up, it was very stressful at the time, now I don't even think about it. Keep going, getting healthy helps relieve alot of life stressers.