what is so f*@(%!n hard.......

Innerglow
Innerglow Posts: 1,074 Member
edited September 19 in Chit-Chat
about somebody understanding why I don't want them to drink! Seriously this question is for all the men, Would you choose drinking over your woman if you knew it would tear you apart???

Replies

  • bkjk997
    bkjk997 Posts: 106 Member
    Addictions can't be changed because of someone else. The person who is addicted needs to do it for themselves, and not because a loved one suggested it, because they are truly ready to face the problem (and are aware a problem exists).

    You can't change people. People change themselves.
  • carisarae8569
    carisarae8569 Posts: 19
    yes ..u gotta do it for yourself...anything u do...or u wont really change...and my dad is an alcoholic he would kill someone over his beer!
  • CarmenSantiago
    CarmenSantiago Posts: 681 Member
    I am an addict. I have an addiction to food. It isn't just social it is insidious and dangerous. I knew at 400 pounds I was killing myself and I was going to leave my children motherless. It didn't matter to me, I couldn't stop. The day that I decided that I was worth fighting for was the day I got on track to do something about my addiction. No matter how much weight I lose, no matter how much I weigh, no matter what size I'm wearing, I will always be an addict.

    Addicts can only do it for themselves.
  • LeanLioness
    LeanLioness Posts: 1,091 Member
    I am an addict. I have an addiction to food. It isn't just social it is insidious and dangerous. I knew at 400 pounds I was killing myself and I was going to leave my children motherless. It didn't matter to me, I couldn't stop. The day that I decided that I was worth fighting for was the day I got on track to do something about my addiction. No matter how much weight I lose, no matter how much I weigh, no matter what size I'm wearing, I will always be an addict.

    Addicts can only do it for themselves.

    Very nicely stated.
  • Innerglow
    Innerglow Posts: 1,074 Member
    I know I can't make anyone change. I moved out of our house and back in with my mother when I couldn't handle it anymore. Of course he then promised he would stop drinking. So we started seeing each other again. I wanted to believe that more than anything I'd ever heard in my life. Now i;m stuck again. I hate living with my mother and all of my friends disappeared like the plague when I got pregnant. I have no one. I'm so scared of being alone that sometimes it doesn't seem so horrible sometimes to think of putting up with his drinking but I just don't know anymore!

    I do thank everyone for there response. Sometimes the only place I have to vent my feelings is here on mfp, so thanks again for putting up with me!:flowerforyou:
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    I think you really need to get away from this unhealthy reationship with your boyfriend. You can't help him if he's not willing to help himself. I looked at your profile and I see you're only 22. I have a son who is 22 (until next Tuesday) and I know he hates living with me. He was on his own for awhile but had some hard times and had to move back home. I don't know what your situation is with your Mom that makes you hate living with her, but maybe if you and her talked things over you could both do some compromising and manage to live together in harmony. I realized that I need to not be so mothery with my son. That was one of the issues he had with me. Or maybe you could get your own place that's within a comfortable distance from your mom so she could be there if you need her. Anyway, I really hope things work out for you. I was in a relationship with an alcoholic when I was younger and the best thing I did was get out of it. Good luck to you and please let us know how things go for you. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • Innerglow
    Innerglow Posts: 1,074 Member
    I dont hate my mother she's just my mother so she drives me nuts! She's a, I dare say this a pothead and she forgets EVERYTHING! She's doesn't do it around me or my daughter, I do not allow that! But she does still treat me like a child. I also have no choice to live away from her because I don't make enough money to live on my own at this point:grumble:
  • tubbytabbytales
    tubbytabbytales Posts: 5,883
    I dont hate my mother she's just my mother so she drives me nuts! She's a, I dare say this a pothead and she forgets EVERYTHING! She's doesn't do it around me or my daughter, I do not allow that! But she does still treat me like a child. I also have no choice to live away from her because I don't make enough money to live on my own at this point:grumble:
    Megan, I would totally let you come live with me, but I don't think Kristen would be down and little girl wouldn't have her own room :laugh:
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