Is there something wrong with me?

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  • invisibubble
    invisibubble Posts: 662 Member
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    I just wanted to say...no one has ever told me what to find desirable. I like what I like, I don't like what I don't like. That changes depending on my own tastes honestly, and really hasn't ever been impacted by 'societies' opinion.

    Honestly, I've found that women are far, far more worried about what the world thinks of them than men are. It's one of the few things I wish we could pass over to you ladies.

    Men are getting just as worried. Fact of the matter is we're told what to be, what to like, what to do... And we believe it, in some part or another. Whether we want to or not.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    I just wanted to say...no one has ever told me what to find desirable. I like what I like, I don't like what I don't like. That changes depending on my own tastes honestly, and really hasn't ever been impacted by 'societies' opinion.

    Honestly, I've found that women are far, far more worried about what the world thinks of them than men are. It's one of the few things I wish we could pass over to you ladies.

    Men are getting just as worried. Fact of the matter is we're told what to be, what to like, what to do... And we believe it, in some part or another. Whether we want to or not.

    I'm not saying you're wrong, just that it doesn't fit with my experience...in the men I know, or have known. Pretty much the only people who tell me what to do, are the ones we've given the right to throw me in jail for not doing it :).
  • invisibubble
    invisibubble Posts: 662 Member
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    I'm not saying you're wrong, just that it doesn't fit with my experience...in the men I know, or have known. Pretty much the only people who tell me what to do, are the ones we've given the right to throw me in jail for not doing it :).

    That's interesting. Perhaps people who are similar do gravitate to one another. Would explain all the neurotics I know :laugh:
    We're all somewhat influenced of course though, whether we "obey" or rebel against what we're told. I guess that was kind of my point, perhaps it wasn't. *shrugs*
  • Danica34
    Danica34 Posts: 11 Member
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    Dont worry about what others think of you. Being curvy isn't a bad thing. If you are getting rude stares then tell them to not look at you if they have a problem :) Curvy women are beautiful too!
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    I'm not saying you're wrong, just that it doesn't fit with my experience...in the men I know, or have known. Pretty much the only people who tell me what to do, are the ones we've given the right to throw me in jail for not doing it :).

    That's interesting. Perhaps people who are similar do gravitate to one another. Would explain all the neurotics I know :laugh:
    We're all somewhat influenced of course though, whether we "obey" or rebel against what we're told. I guess that was kind of my point, perhaps it wasn't. *shrugs*

    That's true, on both counts lol. Though I would use the term 'agree with' rather than 'obey' lol.

    Unless we're talking about my Dad of course...in which case 'obey' still rings a bit more true than 'agree with' =p.
  • Justacoffeenut
    Justacoffeenut Posts: 3,808 Member
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    I have to agree with both these people. It's not easy. But we have to find peace with ourselves and be happy with ourselves. If eveyone would manage that then society would have to change if they wanted to make money cause everyone would stop trying to fit into the mould they wanted. Look at marilyn monroe, I know a few years back, but at her time she was a sex symbol and alot of people today still think she is. But by today's "society" standards she would be over weight and all.
    I understand the shopping problem though and it is frustrating. No two women's clothes makers seem to be the same even. One size in one brand and another in a different brand. Guys seem to have it better there a size 36 waist is a size 36 waist.
    Just hang in there and be proud of your curves.
    It's not that you are in the wrong; it's more that society's vision of women is so distorted that anything "normal" isn't actually.... normal. Don't let it bug you. Confidence is more sexy than being able to see your hip bones. If you're into the fashion industry at all, you'll know vogue has banned "too thin" models. Real sized women are on the way back. And between us, feedback from men proves that whilst a "skinny" girl is good for a hookup, a real sized woman is a lifelong partner ;)

    AND

    crisanderson2 It's ok! And I wasn't coming down on you at all hun. It's just frustrating as a guy sometimes to see many of the women on here floundering trying to justify themselves to people that in the end, don't matter. In the end, her opinion is most important, but she's also got to realize that reality isn't always going to be a nice thing. What I mean by that is that societies 'normal'...may not be what the 'average' woman looks like, but its still how society is going to see it, and whether that viewpoint is shifting or not...it's best that she finds her own level of comfort, without the help of 'society'.

    In my experience, society isn't out to help anyone lol. Often, they're not even out to help themselves.
  • 10acity
    10acity Posts: 798 Member
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    Sorry! I meant to write from personal experience. My brain is asleep today!

    It's ok! And I wasn't coming down on you at all hun. It's just frustrating as a guy sometimes to see many of the women on here floundering trying to justify themselves to people that in the end, don't matter. In the end, her opinion is most important, but she's also got to realize that reality isn't always going to be a nice thing. What I mean by that is that societies 'normal'...may not be what the 'average' woman looks like, but its still how society is going to see it, and whether that viewpoint is shifting or not...it's best that she finds her own level of comfort, without the help of 'society'.

    In my experience, society isn't out to help anyone lol. Often, they're not even out to help themselves.

    Is it too early to propose? :flowerforyou:

    That depends on whether you believe in men paying for the first date or not =p.

    After spending time on MFP...I've begun thinking of that as my first 'filter' for a potential wife.../sigh.

    A lot of women seriously say they have a problem with that? I don't think I even know any of them, and certainly am not one myself. Maybe they're the ones who want to date the guys living in their parents' basements, afraid of their own testosterone, wearing Hollister clothing far beyond its expiration and spending every weekend getting hammered with the other fratboys they've failed to outgrow? (Just a theory!)
  • RichardCMolloy
    RichardCMolloy Posts: 130 Member
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    There is nothing wrong with you. I can't speak for all guys but I don't like a size zero. Too small. Get yourself to where you feel healthy, to where you can do everything that you want to do & then you'll be at the perfect size for you!
  • SouthernSweetie74
    SouthernSweetie74 Posts: 844
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    [/quote]

    That depends on whether you believe in men paying for the first date or not =p.

    After spending time on MFP...I've begun thinking of that as my first 'filter' for a potential wife.../sigh.

    [/quote]


    Love your attitude. :)

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