Family sabotage.

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2

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  • lmelangley
    lmelangley Posts: 1,039 Member
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    Try to stop thinking of what you're doing as a "diet". Diet really means the variety of foods you eat, not a short term change to lose weight. Consider making changes to what you eat that are sustainable forever- and that means when you're visiting family.

    While I don't think it's healthy to throw your new eating plan out the window entirely for the week, I think you can adapt it to the situation. Take control wherever you can. Offer to cook a meal or two for your family. When you're eating at home, don't let anyone else plate your food - do it yourself and only take one portion. If you're still hungry 10 minutes after you've finished eating, have a little more. If you're at a restaurant, seriously think about the nutritional value of what you're ordering and order the best thing that you think will be yummy. It's not about deprivation - it's about being as healthy as we can be.

    Good luck!
  • blairh10
    blairh10 Posts: 37
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    The thing that stinks about living at home with family, even for a week, is the loss of the amount of control over food that you are used to. I live close to NYC and food is amazing and plenty. I blow off my diet when I am celebrating. I don't feel guilty about it, I just remember I have to workout harder or longer during that time. I had my graduation this week and everyone wants to "go celebrate". Friends want to hit the clubs, family is BBQing and taking me to dinners, etc... I'm proud and happy everyone is excited for me so, I decided instead of running 3 miles I run 5, instead of the gym 4 days a week I amp'd it up to 6 for the next 2 weeks. I will go back to normal eating by next week but for now I realize I don't want to change my friends or family's excitement and I don't want to be miserable when I go out, so I'll change something that effects only me (the exercise).
  • kcoftx
    kcoftx Posts: 765 Member
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    I had a week like that recently. It was my birthday week and Mother's Day. Then to top it off, some friends were having a going away party the same week (moving). I went out to eat most of the days for a solid week and some days twice! Most of those dates I wasn't paying. I had multiple birthday celebrations. Again, put some boundaries on there (such as no bread basket, etc), keep the portions in moderation, exercise a bit and just relax. It will be okay.
  • lcroftraider31
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    Find your inner strength to resist the temptation of overindulging. I believe that weight loss is all about personal accountability. It's YOUR own battle, YOUR own journey and YOUR own decisions to make. Of course, it helps when you have the support of the people around you specially your family, but that's not the case, so you have to put more effort into it. I'm not saying avoid whatever is in front you but don't give in easily. Small portions, a taste of something if you think it's really bad for you, make the best food choices, have a drink with the least amount of calories, make sure you keep moving so you burn calories (that means not sitting still). Sometimes it really helps to plan too. You can do it and Goodluck!!!
  • badgerbadger1
    badgerbadger1 Posts: 954 Member
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    A novel idea: you're an adult, make your own meals. Going to restaurants is excellent training for learning self control and making good choices when there are seemingly no good choices. You'll be going to restaurants your whole life; learn how to adapt now.
  • DiannaMoorer
    DiannaMoorer Posts: 783 Member
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    You should definitely

    CUT OFF FROM THEM.

    You are more advanced than them, and living a better more modern life.

    Tell them politely BUT CLEARLY that you have no interest at all in interacting with them, because they are hindering your health.

    You have nothing until you have your health.

    You know in an airplane -- the amergency warning says FIRST put on your own mask, THEN help the children.

    YOU MUST PUT ON YOUR OWN MASK FIRST .. you MUST look ONLY to your own health FIRST. Your family can and should go to hell.

    Don't forget, it will only take you one or two years to be in perfect shape, thank God. THEN you can present yourself to your family members and say ... "See?"

    You're the best. Just divorce your spouse or cut off from your family, if it helps your health.

    YOU are all that matters, NOT your family.

    It's only a couple of years!




    Not good advise dude. Family should be everything and you have to learn to adjust around the difficulties.
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
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    If you have breaded meat in front of you, take that off, just eat the meat.

    Veggies in sauce? Just eat the veggies, don't sop up the sauce.

    Dessert? Half a piece and savor it.

    Drink only water, tea or coffee with no sugar added.

    Eat only at meals, or snack on healthy stuff so the high calorie meals aren't as appealing.

    Offer to go help grocery shop and suggest fresh veg or fruit, lower fat cheese, etc. Don't take over, just ask if they mind if you get this.

    Offer to cook a few meals so you get to decide what to have.
  • mes1921
    mes1921 Posts: 71 Member
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    I'm a college student too and my family is the exact same way. I choose not to log when I'm with them, but I do keep a mental note of what I've eaten and really try to watch when I feel full. I also workout every day that I can. I go for a walk, run, do a video, play basketball with my brother, or anything else I can think of. This has been working for me and I plan to maintain whenever I'm with them. I managed to LOSE weight over Christmas doing this!
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
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    You should definitely

    CUT OFF FROM THEM.

    You are more advanced than them, and living a better more modern life.

    Tell them politely BUT CLEARLY that you have no interest at all in interacting with them, because they are hindering your health.

    You have nothing until you have your health.

    You know in an airplane -- the amergency warning says FIRST put on your own mask, THEN help the children.

    YOU MUST PUT ON YOUR OWN MASK FIRST .. you MUST look ONLY to your own health FIRST. Your family can and should go to hell.

    Don't forget, it will only take you one or two years to be in perfect shape, thank God. THEN you can present yourself to your family members and say ... "See?"

    You're the best. Just divorce your spouse or cut off from your family, if it helps your health.

    YOU are all that matters, NOT your family.

    It's only a couple of years!




    Not good advise dude. Family should be everything and you have to learn to adjust around the difficulties.

    I think he may have been trying to be sarcastic... but, family should not be everything to be honest. If they arent good at listening to their daughter's needs, then they arent considering her feelings at all... and that is just as bad as being food pushers.... Her family should learn to listen - but the OP needs to stand up to the plate and make it known as well....

    Its a tough thing to do... unfortunately for me, it gets so bad that I dont have anything to do with my family when it comes to having meals with them. They are downright nasty. OP has a chance with hers and Im crossing my fingers her family will have the sense to listen to what she needs from them
  • bawalker11
    bawalker11 Posts: 78
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    You should definitely

    CUT OFF FROM THEM.

    You are more advanced than them, and living a better more modern life.

    Tell them politely BUT CLEARLY that you have no interest at all in interacting with them, because they are hindering your health.

    You have nothing until you have your health.

    You know in an airplane -- the amergency warning says FIRST put on your own mask, THEN help the children.

    YOU MUST PUT ON YOUR OWN MASK FIRST .. you MUST look ONLY to your own health FIRST. Your family can and should go to hell.

    Don't forget, it will only take you one or two years to be in perfect shape, thank God. THEN you can present yourself to your family members and say ... "See?"

    You're the best. Just divorce your spouse or cut off from your family, if it helps your health.

    YOU are all that matters, NOT your family.

    It's only a couple of years!


    I don't think this is particularly motivating or helpful,more hurtful!!I hope it is meant to be sarcastic.
    It's tough when your family is in a routine that doesn't work with your fitness goals, but in no way does that mean they are evil or anything. It is tough, I deal with a similar thing with my family, I explained how important it is to me to get healthy and lose this weight and at family meals I just eat smaller portions and I eat slowly so I am not sitting there watching everyone else eat. At restaurants ask for sauces on the side, if you want a "naughty" dish put half in a to go box. Sometimes people get funny when you have a lot of control over what you are eating and try to sabotage it because they get jealous or will tease you about it, just ignore them, eventually you will hit your goal and maybe it will make others eat healthier as a result. Good Luck!
  • katiebythebay
    katiebythebay Posts: 611 Member
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    First off, drink lots of water. I mean, anytime they offer drinks, just opt for water, if you can. That's a big step.

    Secondly, no reason why you can't eat what you want, just portion control it. A little of this and a little of that.

    If you're going to gorge on something, select something non-fried and non-starchy, like a vegetable or salad or cucumbers.

    Try to not waste your calories on bread like beignets, especially the ones doused in confectioners sugar or buttermilk biscuits.

    Don't forget, you can exercise some of the calories off AND if you exercise before you eat, you'll won't retain as many edible calories with the food you eat right afterwards.

    Good luck, you can actually do this successfully~

    Katie
  • Asil02
    Asil02 Posts: 261
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    Some great advice here. I am proud of you for going to school, working at having a healthy lifestyle, and making such good choices. You've done an outstanding job all on your own! Take all the advice here and then figure out what is going to work best for you and your family.
    KEEP UP THE AWESOME WORK!!
  • Ninatoots
    Ninatoots Posts: 192 Member
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    You should definitely

    CUT OFF FROM THEM.

    You are more advanced than them, and living a better more modern life.

    Tell them politely BUT CLEARLY that you have no interest at all in interacting with them, because they are hindering your health.

    You have nothing until you have your health.

    You know in an airplane -- the amergency warning says FIRST put on your own mask, THEN help the children.

    YOU MUST PUT ON YOUR OWN MASK FIRST .. you MUST look ONLY to your own health FIRST. Your family can and should go to hell.

    Don't forget, it will only take you one or two years to be in perfect shape, thank God. THEN you can present yourself to your family members and say ... "See?"

    You're the best. Just divorce your spouse or cut off from your family, if it helps your health.

    YOU are all that matters, NOT your family.

    It's only a couple of years!

    You really care me also!
  • Ninatoots
    Ninatoots Posts: 192 Member
    Options
    You should definitely

    CUT OFF FROM THEM.

    You are more advanced than them, and living a better more modern life.

    Tell them politely BUT CLEARLY that you have no interest at all in interacting with them, because they are hindering your health.

    You have nothing until you have your health.

    You know in an airplane -- the amergency warning says FIRST put on your own mask, THEN help the children.

    YOU MUST PUT ON YOUR OWN MASK FIRST .. you MUST look ONLY to your own health FIRST. Your family can and should go to hell.

    Don't forget, it will only take you one or two years to be in perfect shape, thank God. THEN you can present yourself to your family members and say ... "See?"

    You're the best. Just divorce your spouse or cut off from your family, if it helps your health.

    YOU are all that matters, NOT your family.

    It's only a couple of years!
    I don't agree with this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • pkfrankel
    pkfrankel Posts: 171 Member
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    Every restaurant serves salad. Order yours with dressing on the side and use it sparingly. Skip fried foods, soda and dessert.
  • desert_rhino
    desert_rhino Posts: 104 Member
    Options
    You should definitely

    CUT OFF FROM THEM.

    You are more advanced than them, and living a better more modern life.

    Tell them politely BUT CLEARLY that you have no interest at all in interacting with them, because they are hindering your health.

    You have nothing until you have your health.

    You know in an airplane -- the amergency warning says FIRST put on your own mask, THEN help the children.

    YOU MUST PUT ON YOUR OWN MASK FIRST .. you MUST look ONLY to your own health FIRST. Your family can and should go to hell.

    Don't forget, it will only take you one or two years to be in perfect shape, thank God. THEN you can present yourself to your family members and say ... "See?"

    You're the best. Just divorce your spouse or cut off from your family, if it helps your health.

    YOU are all that matters, NOT your family.

    It's only a couple of years!

    Wow. You scare me.

    This. That's scary advice.

    Family is the most important thing you have. Figuring out ways to work with them should be very high on your list of priorities. Plus, it's a good training ground for dealing with the world. If you can eat reasonably in that environment, you can eat reasonably anywhere. Cutting yourself off from your family entirely just delays the conflict between your goals and their sabotage. Better to sort it out now, while your resolve is strong. Otherwise, you're just going to "fail" every time you have to be with them in the future.

    Some suggestions: (some of which I've seen already)
    *Just eat half your portions. If you take half home, you can just leave it for one of your relatives to scavenge from the fridge. Everyone wins!
    *Drink water, iced tea (not sweet tea!), black coffee/espresso, or seltzer water.
    *Be very polite about what you're doing. Your family will most likely respect it more if you just quietly stick to your plans/goals. One of the best ways to convert someone is not to argue with them, but simply to show them how your actions are improving your life, BY LIVING A BETTER LIFE!

    Keep your resolve!
  • mikes99mail
    mikes99mail Posts: 318 Member
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    I tell people my doctor thinks I might be coeliac, so i need to avoid gluten and sugar. It makes restaurants so scared that you're gonna explode in their seat that they do actually leave out the bad stuff when you ask them, rather than ignoring you because you're 'being difficult'.

    Your mum will be able to worry about you too, which is all they really want :wink:
  • buzzbug
    buzzbug Posts: 50 Member
    Options
    You should definitely

    CUT OFF FROM THEM.

    You are more advanced than them, and living a better more modern life.

    Tell them politely BUT CLEARLY that you have no interest at all in interacting with them, because they are hindering your health.

    You have nothing until you have your health.

    You know in an airplane -- the amergency warning says FIRST put on your own mask, THEN help the children.

    YOU MUST PUT ON YOUR OWN MASK FIRST .. you MUST look ONLY to your own health FIRST. Your family can and should go to hell.

    Don't forget, it will only take you one or two years to be in perfect shape, thank God. THEN you can present yourself to your family members and say ... "See?"

    You're the best. Just divorce your spouse or cut off from your family, if it helps your health.

    YOU are all that matters, NOT your family.

    It's only a couple of years!

    I think this advice might be necessary in some situations, so I am glad that someone said it. It is scary, because cutting your family out of your life is a scary thing. I didn't have my family in my life at all for several months, because of their inability to support me (in other areas of my life). It was what I needed for a while to learn to stand on my own, but now I have worked hard to reconnect. We have larger problems than them sabotaging my diet, and if we can sort through that, we can sort through this.

    My little sister in particular needs a positive influence in health and other areas, and I don't want to be totally cut off from other members of my family again. Even if they aren't always the most supportive bunch, they are my family and they are important to me.
    I think he may have been trying to be sarcastic... but, family should not be everything to be honest. If they arent good at listening to their daughter's needs, then they arent considering her feelings at all... and that is just as bad as being food pushers.... Her family should learn to listen - but the OP needs to stand up to the plate and make it known as well....

    Its a tough thing to do... unfortunately for me, it gets so bad that I dont have anything to do with my family when it comes to having meals with them. They are downright nasty. OP has a chance with hers and Im crossing my fingers her family will have the sense to listen to what she needs from them

    ^^^This is so true. I just do the best that I can with my family. It's hard to not wish they were more supportive, in all areas.
  • deadbeatsummer
    deadbeatsummer Posts: 537 Member
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    You should definitely

    CUT OFF FROM THEM.

    You are more advanced than them, and living a better more modern life.

    Tell them politely BUT CLEARLY that you have no interest at all in interacting with them, because they are hindering your health.

    You have nothing until you have your health.

    You know in an airplane -- the amergency warning says FIRST put on your own mask, THEN help the children.

    YOU MUST PUT ON YOUR OWN MASK FIRST .. you MUST look ONLY to your own health FIRST. Your family can and should go to hell.

    Don't forget, it will only take you one or two years to be in perfect shape, thank God. THEN you can present yourself to your family members and say ... "See?"

    You're the best. Just divorce your spouse or cut off from your family, if it helps your health.

    YOU are all that matters, NOT your family.

    It's only a couple of years!



    are you serious :/
  • islandnutshel
    islandnutshel Posts: 1,143 Member
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    sometimes it is impossible to know exactly what you are eating. My advice, use what you have learned to make educated guesses. Eat the healthiest food you can find and use this time to learn to eat instinctively. Trying eating slow and not finishing your your plate. Add extra exercise, just think of it as a different challange.
    I feel for you. But you have learned so much. Time to apply. Best wishes