Will *not* go back up to 120kg!

LMRoses

Hi everyone, I think this is more of a reassertion for myself, but it seems to have more power when I make it public.

When I first started with MFP, over three years ago, I weight 132kg. I've been on and off the wagon many times since, but have consistently found that the only thing that helps me get healthier is MFP and the support and motivation offered by the other members. I dropped down to 125kg pretty quickly, and since then it's been quite slow going - due in very large part to my inconsistency with sticking within my calories.

This time, I've been making a big push. I went down from 119 to 115 in the last couple of months, I joined the gym a few months ago and have seen an exercise physiologist, and since then have been starting interval running, cycling and body pump. The trouble is, I've started gaining weight again, to the point that as of this morning, I weigh 119.4! Dropping below 120 was a real milestone for me, and to go back up to that again would be..hugely disheartening. I know weight flutations are normal, but the gain has been consistent for a while now, and I'm not sure what to do. I'm sticking within my calories (most days), exercising above the 3x30 mins weekly, and still I gain. After looking at my BMI, I realised I was probably eating below that, which won't help, so I have changed my goal from a 2lb loss per week, to 1lb.

I know that if I do the right things, in time my body will respond and get healthier and leaner - I'm just feeling a little frustrated and disappointed and needed to get that of my chest. Even typing that out now as helped me to identify some areas I could improve, but if anyone has any other suggestions, please, throw them at me

Edit: Just looked at my diary over the last week or so and realised it's inconsistent, and that I'd be embarrassed for others to see it, with some of the rubbish I've eaten. Maybe that's something I need to do, make my diary public to create a greater accountability. if I wouldn't be okay with other people seeing I'd eaten something, don't eat it!