SO wont work out ~ kinda annoyed.

TNTwedell

SO.... Im getting married in less then 3 months. I have been busting my BUTT since we got engaged (last september) to get "fit" for the wedding/honeymoon/etc.
My fiance ---- not so much.
He's not fat, by any means - about 6' and 190lbs - but its all kinda, well.... not fit... if that makes sense?
When we first started dating, he went to the gym every day! Had muscles and abs that I would drool over. :blushing: hubba hubba
Then he just kinda stopped.
I did too - we both got "lazy" and "relationship happy" and let ourselves go, perhaps a bit too much - not gonna lie.
But, Im trying really hard to get BACK to where I was before.
And he could care LESS

I've been mentioning - for a few weeks now - "hey, when are you going to start working out again?" - "hey - the wedding is in 3 months, its crunch time babe, gotta start getting to the gym" - even tonight, i was going to the gym for the SECOND time today and he said "wow. you're really taking this seriously" (im sorry - where have you been for the last 6months? but whatever). and my response "well - we only have like 2 1/2 months left. Are you gonna try to get in shape for the wedding?"
His response "eh, I guess I should. But i dont really care"

WOW. really?
I had no response. just "um ok" and left
but Im irritated.
I would LOVE it if he was concerned about getting in shape for the wedding --- not to mention the 2 week honeymoon we have in the Bahamas...
But honestly, its not even the wedding. its ME...
I want him to CARE about his appearance FOR me - I care FOR him. whats the deal???

As a female - I have to get my hair done, shave legs/arms, wax, makeup, pretty under"things", perfume, spray tan, softskin, etc etc etc - so I am "attractive" for my guy.
what does he do - --- SHOWER and put on clean underwear.
come ON

How do I get him to care about his appearance more without hurting his feelings?
I still find him 100000% adorable. And i love him as much as I ever have - but it kinda sucks that he doesnt seem to care what he looks like --- guess he knows how much I love him and knows I'll never leave ~ regardless of his appearance.. but UGH.
He could at least try a lil??

dovesgate

Once the wedding is over with are you going to go back to your "relationship happy" ways or are you going to keep up the twice a day workouts?

The marriage is more important than the wedding day. The person you love should have the freedom to express themselves whether it's letting the washboard abs go or growing a mountain man beard for the wedding.

Oh yes. My hubby was always a very clean cut, shaven, polo shirt or button down and slacks every day kind of guy. For some reason he thought he would look dashing with a shaggy beard for our wedding day. His face, his choice is how I looked at it. I mentioned a haircut and a shave once before the wedding. He chose not to get those. He's rather embarrassed by the beard situation whenever he sees our pictures but oh well. I did the right thing by letting him do what was important to him at the time. *shrug* I was just more interested in being his wife than having perfect pictures I guess.

If you absolutely can't stand what he looks like now that he isn't going to the gym and keeping up those perfect abs, you need to tell him now before the wedding. I'm serious. If this is something you absolutely need him to do, keep up the super sexy body and start taking care of himself again, don't marry him until he understands this is something you need. If he isn't willing to keep putting in the time for it, before and after the wedding day itself, maybe in the long run the two of you aren't compatible? Otherwise, what are you going to do if he starts looking like, say, John Candy or the fat version of Drew Carey?

If you're sure you'll still love him and want to sleep with him when he looks like that then just suck it up and deal with his lack of motivation. Just know down deep to your bones you'll be a beautiful bride next to her handsome groom no matter what his body looks like.

You could also turn this around on him to make your point; do without the hair do, shaving, waxing, makeup, spray tan, etc for a week or three (enough to really grow in some body hair lmfao). Then make a deal with him - he takes care of himself and you'll take care of yourself.