Goal reached, why aren't I happy..

likes2bwet

I have reached my goal, but yet I still feel very fluffy. I feel like a skinny girl trapped in a big fish bowl of fat. Isn't that quite the visual??? I know I have accomplished so much, even lost a small person. But now I am questioning, am I ever going to get out of the "fluffy girl" mind set? I went shopping for clothes that fit and at times I just stare at them thinking how will I ever wear those??!! Then I put them on and go oh, wow, that really does fit. My trainer tells me lets go 10 more pounds, I say ok. Others tell me I don't have 10 more pounds to spare. I will lose the other 10 pounds to see if that helps the outter appearence, but I don't want to look ill. I just want the fat to evaporate so that my mental picture can reflect the new me.....if only it could be that easy..... thanks for listening.... :sad:

pange

Check out this article:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31489881/ns/health-womens_health/

It's just going to take some time. Great job, by the way!! You should be very proud!

ocean26

I have the same problem! I'm 10 pounds over my goal and I still feel unsure about where to go all the time. Some people say I have nothing left to lose then again a trainor would say differently. I'm trying to build up muscle so I don't start looking "sickly" from losing the extra "fluff". Just say positive and confident about how far you've come. :flowerforyou:

likes2bwet

Phantom Fat....now THAT is a great name for it! Thanks for the arcticle link...I'll definately take that into account :flowerforyou:

coolviolet73

It sounds to me like your insides (emotions, ways of thinking) haven't caught up with the outside you yet. You've obviously worked very hard to change your appearance---the hard part is, and this can come as a shock to some, changing the outside is not enough. You have to work to change your insides too.Too many people say something along the lines of, "I'll feel better about myself once I lose some weight." The truth is, if you're not feeling good about yourself now, losing weight is not going to help with those feelings. Losing weight can help with a myriad of health problems, but it can't chase our inner demons away.

I hear you saying that you still "feel" fat--- so you've lost the inside baggage, but it sounds like you need to lose the inside baggage too. This is a difficult process that many, many people who are dealing with weight loss have to go through in some form (including myself). Hang in there---find someone you trust to talk to, do some daily affirmations, and know that you're a good person that deserves to be happy. Sooner or later, you'll be thin inside and out.


Hugs!!!

SamiRose

I liked reading this...I think many people have this problem.

In my experience with Instructing Group Exercise and personal Training...I have found that Yoga, Pilates, and more intense Strength Training are perhaps your answers. Yoga can assist with your confidence and acceptance of your "New you". Pilates will help tighten your body, and give your posture a boost. Then, Strength Training will also tighten your body. Muscle burns fat, so attempting to build MORE MUSCLE, will help to "eat away" those last couple unwanted "fat storage" cells.

I hope this helps. I know many people that one of those 3, or any combination of those 3 strategies has helped with that extra confidence and appearance boost.

Good Luck! and IT MUST BE SAID.... Congratulations with your goal being accomplished!

-Sam-

azwildcatfan94

I think the mindset of trainers is to obtain perfection. It is up to us to decide when we are satisfied. I also think it will take time for your brain to catch up to where your body is. So, be patient. Likes, if that is a current picture of yourself, then I would say, you look awesome. Maybe take a break and maintain for a little while, then re-assess.

BrendaLee

You look amazing, and I'm jealous. I've never been thin, so I don't know how I will adjust my mentality...but I do know that most everyone struggles with it, and still feels like the fat girl even when they're not. I think now's the time for a lot of positive self-talk. When people compliment you, take that to heart- I know no one ever tells me I look great when I actually don't, so you can probably rest assured that the compliments are genuine. Instead of saying, "I'll never fit in that", try saying, "damn, I'm going to look so hot in that!".

likes2bwet

It sounds to me like your insides (emotions, ways of thinking) haven't caught up with the outside you yet.

I never thought of it that way. and to think I just had my shrink appointment on the 10th!!

Allylc23

I feel the same way! I have just about reached my goal but I am still not happy when I am standing in front of the mirror. I thought that if I got to this point I would be proud to wear a bikini and I would look great but I certainly don't feel that way! Everyone tells me I look so thin and I truly believe I look good in clothes, but naked is a whole other story! The thing I keep telling myself is that even though I don't have a flat gorgeous belly, I am so much healthier than I used to be! I really don't have any advice for you but I thought it may help to know that other women feel the same way you do! Congrats on the weight loss! You have obviously worked incredibly hard and you deserve to pat yourself on the back!


Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Calorie Counter

likes2bwet

Likes, if that is a current picture of yourself, then I would say, you look awesome. Maybe take a break and maintain for a little while, then re-assess.




That is a current photo of me. Taken after a day of jet skiing..I love jet skiing...I was thinking of going to maintenance status, but just cannot make up my mind. Unfortunately, for me it is all or nothing. So, I will probably blast out the 10 more pounds then take a few months break and do some studying...High 5 to you on your fitness as well...that is great!

likes2bwet

:noway:

Everyone tells me I look so thin and I truly believe I look good in clothes, but naked is a whole other story!

That's what I say, how funny. Ya, I look fine with my clothes on but to take them off....AUGH!! Run for cover because the extra skin and fat then throw in the stretch marks from child birth that are going to jump out and eat someone...at least when I was fluffier, they weren't quite so obvious...Now they are just disgusting and looks like I been all sliced up..ok, grossin myself out now... :noway:

twilight1542

First off, YOU LOOK AMAZING! I've never worn a bikini in my life b/c I've never been small enough to feel comfortable in one, let alone comfortable in a 1 piece. So I can't wait to share your sentiments.

Perhaps, you need to shift your mindset from "losing weight" to "toning up". I've heard that yoga, pilates, & strength training is good for that.

Regardless of what you choose to do you should be incredibly proud of yourself for what you've already accomplished

arewethereyet

likes2bsweet.......I found that when I hit my goal, I was still chomping at the bit to look better. Some ppl on here, and a friend near me told me to wait a month or 2 to make a decision on further weight loss.

I was very glad I did. I had not enjoyed a minute of my new body. I was too busy looking in the mirror for all the things that were wrong. Then I found a note I wrote that said " If I lose 20 pounds I will celebrate!!"

I had lost 30 pounds, was/is in the best shape of the past 15 years and didnt even enjoy it.

I am still losing, slowly, but MAN I love the new me. It took about 4 months for my mind to catch up with my body. But today I wore a halter sun dress to work with sandels and felt sexy and pretty!

Give your mind a chance to catch up with your body. :flowerforyou:

Oh and congratulations on your weight loss!! You look AWESOME~!

MRSWESSON

Looking at you in a bathing suit no less I see no loose skin I think you look awesome, and if nothing else do strength training, but you def don't need to loose anymore weight you look lovely!

pattitricia85

you look great, you should be proud of yourself, i know you are! It's too bad that society has created such a high standard of perfection for us women. If you look good in clothes, you look good naked! No woman is perfect. And anyone who has given birth has stretch marks and parts of her body that are not what they used to be., even the women we see on the covers of magazines. Good luck to you, I hope you find your happy weight

Georg

You look great - do you feel great?
Do you feel as good as you look?
Maybe you feel the need to continue your exercise routine, or change it up a little, or try something to new to help with maintenance.
Maybe an pilates or yoga or tai bo class?
Are you bored?
Do you need something special to look forward to?
Maybe a cool weekend trip?
A romantic getaway?
A fun action packed family time?
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
I think sometimes we expect so much, then have nothing more to look forward to when we reach that goal - whatever it might be. Weight, career, personal or otherwise.
Hang in there.

CarmenSantiago

It sounds to me like your insides (emotions, ways of thinking) haven't caught up with the outside you yet. You've obviously worked very hard to change your appearance---the hard part is, and this can come as a shock to some, changing the outside is not enough. You have to work to change your insides too.Too many people say something along the lines of, "I'll feel better about myself once I lose some weight." The truth is, if you're not feeling good about yourself now, losing weight is not going to help with those feelings. Losing weight can help with a myriad of health problems, but it can't chase our inner demons away.

I hear you saying that you still "feel" fat--- so you've lost the inside baggage, but it sounds like you need to lose the inside baggage too. This is a difficult process that many, many people who are dealing with weight loss have to go through in some form (including myself). Hang in there---find someone you trust to talk to, do some daily affirmations, and know that you're a good person that deserves to be happy. Sooner or later, you'll be thin inside and out.


I couldn't have said it better myself.

Hugs!!!

CarmenSantiago

I am the same way, I am trying to prepare myself for the day I reach my goal. It's hard enough right now going from 405 to 183. I don't want to get to my goal and go "now what". Losing weight is all I've ever known. It's the battle I've fought since I was 13. I know that I have a long way to go to get to my goal, and I know that once there I will have to continue with what I'm doing to maintain, but I still feel this will happen if I don't take care of things now. Everyday I lose weight I am entering new territory and the emotions it brings up are weird. I haven't been this low since I was a teen on my way UP. My issue was never about food. That was only what mainfested from not dealing with things like I should have. I work everyday to find the things I "fed" down for so many years so I can let them go and be free of them once and for all.


Good Luck to you, you look wonderful and you have come SO far! :drinker:

slieber

Check out this article:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31489881/ns/health-womens_health/

It's just going to take some time. Great job, by the way!! You should be very proud!

That's a great article. Although I do see the change in me, I also still see myself as majorly overweight (and I AM in the overweight category although, as Banks pointed out, at the lower end of it). My friends say I look great but I just see the leftover rolls that need to change (not even really come off- just gravitate elsewhere where they are not so noticeable! LOL!).

My goal weight is about 10 pounds away. That's the top of my weight range. If I were to be where I was years and years ago, then I have about 20 pounds to lose. But I'm not shooting for that, right now. Terribly frustrating...

alyfin

Try getting pictures of yourself every time you are out with friends, swimming, anything... The more you see the new you, the faster it will sink in. Pictures always help me, while the mirror usually trashes my image.

Good luck and super congrats on the loss!

Xtreme_Nikki0807

Hey girl,
Just wanted to send a quick shout out to ya.
I hear you and I have been struggling with that same mentality for a while.
The entire world can tell you you're beautiful / don't need to loose 10 more lbs - but it won't mean a thing till you see that.

Changing an appearance is more than a physical goal reached, it's more than a nutritional lifestyle changed, it's a mental rewire as well. You have to change the way you think ... or else you will never enjoy the fruits of your labour, your accomplishments that you desire to reap ... because you need to love yourself first - and that I know is a hard one. We all are so conditional ... oh I'll be happy when I loose 10 lbs, ok I'll be happy when I loose 30 lbs, oh no I won't be happy until I loose 100lbs...
but the trick is we're basing our perceptions of what will make us love ourselves from an image we are interpreting outside of ourselves (mostly in the media).
Try to appreciate the features of ourself, that is no one else. The more you become grateful for your eyes, your hair, your legs etc. ... not jolie's lips, alba's *kitten*, kidman's hair ..... the more you will learn to love yourself - and then you will be happy upon reaching your goals.

Be proud to be you.

Congrats on the acievement by the way.

Nikki

oregonlady

bump

i'm in the same boat. i need to read this thread and it's links but i dont have time right now.

thank you for posting!:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

hiddensecant

Some days I'll look at photos or into the mirror and wonder how I will possibly look the way I think I want to look by the time I reach my goal weight. Other days I do a double-take and wonder if I really need to lose those last few pounds.

I think you should start shifting to maintenance and focus more on strength training at the gym. That should keep your trainer from thinking that you're about to retire him. And it will give your brain some time to start differentiating the old you from the new you.

april_mesk

It sounds to me like your insides (emotions, ways of thinking) haven't caught up with the outside you yet. You've obviously worked very hard to change your appearance---the hard part is, and this can come as a shock to some, changing the outside is not enough. You have to work to change your insides too.Too many people say something along the lines of, "I'll feel better about myself once I lose some weight." The truth is, if you're not feeling good about yourself now, losing weight is not going to help with those feelings. Losing weight can help with a myriad of health problems, but it can't chase our inner demons away.

I hear you saying that you still "feel" fat--- so you've lost the inside baggage, but it sounds like you need to lose the inside baggage too. This is a difficult process that many, many people who are dealing with weight loss have to go through in some form (including myself). Hang in there---find someone you trust to talk to, do some daily affirmations, and know that you're a good person that deserves to be happy. Sooner or later, you'll be thin inside and out.


Hugs!!!

april_mesk

So true... Sorry if this doesn't come out correctly with the quote the way it is supposed to (have only been posting about a week). I have been to goal before. You really do have to get your mind to think you are there. You could not have said it better! I have often thought that I have body dismorphic disorder (slight touch of it, not to the extreme). It's a hard thing to talk your brain out of thinking so critically of yourself. I think she looks wonderful and I wish I could snap my fingers and be there! One day... I will- we all will! :flowerforyou:

pickadilly2009

It's funny how this works isn't it. I often find myself laying in bed in the morning and thinking to myself, I feel really fat, I bet the scale is up today. Then I jump on the scale and all be darned if it isn't less or at least the same. I think we gradually get used to being this new shape but it still doesn't feel the way we thought it would so we keep striving for more and more weight loss. I still have a little ways to go but am definately on the last leg of my journey. I do worry that I wont be content. My family and friends are already telling me I don't need to loose anymore and I have the same answer I read earlier in this thread, 'you haven't seen me naked'. I do love myself, I do like my shape, but it just isn't right yet. I sure hope I feel it is right when I have reached my goal.

Congrats on your loss and fitness...truely you look amazing!

Johnnyswife

Poor thing! You just need time to adjust to the new you. Way to go on making it to your goal!:flowerforyou: