Confidence & Self Esteem Knock

foodfight247

OK - I surrender! Recently I may have put across that everything's so hunky dory and full of laughs. Far from it. Home life rubbish, work colleagues being totally manipulative and *****y, amongst a few other things going on. Been trying to keep it together and LOL at everything but if I'm really honest, all I wanna do today is cry. No its not the TOM.

Today is the last straw - I've taken a big knock to my confidence from a domineering, manipulative, loud mouthed B.....erm, person.

Is it me, or do I have "walk all over me" written across my forehead? I genuinely believe that some people out there who are a more domineering, assertive, so **** sure of themselves, attitide, think they can take advantage of someone smaller - in height. I'm 36 years old for goodness sake, I don't look it, I don't act it, but it sure as hell doesn't give the people that are supposed to care about me, the right to tell or demand me to do things, especially when it's none of their business (work fringing on home). I think some people see small as vulnerable and go all out to take you down.

Things may be about to change in a big way....for the good....(that my inner strength & determination kicking in as a woman - I am strong, even tho I don't feel it right now).......but in the meantime, I need some cheering up and just a little bit of support to make me see straight.

Got half hour left at work.

foodfight247

Since I've been home and chilled a bit, I guess the only person who can change anything is me. I've had enough of people taking bits out of me. Sometimes, I don't stand up for myself very well. Partly to do with my past, but it's about time I started to tell people exactly what I think instead of just being a bumbling wreck about it. Easier said than done. Tried previously but then I got accused of having an attitude problem - like really? I was just stating my viewpoint and opinion in a calm manner instead of shouting and being all domineering like they do, which makes me feel like crap quite honestly. I can't deal with that very well. Walls instantly go up. Hate confrontation. There's no need for it unless under extreme reason that validates that.

Just gonna have to start telling it how it is instead of biting my tongue. If I can't get my point across or defend myself in a civil manner, then the problem lies with the other person if they refuse to talk calmly. I am looking at this in the right manner aren't I? Hate it when things like this mess with my head - I'm stronger than that. Ridiculous.

Thanks for looking if you did.

stebs1984

I feel ya. I'm the same way. At my last job I was told I had a "negative attitude" simply because I was quiet and didnt want to shoot the $#!t with my abusive boss. Stand up for yourself or you're just making it easier for people to pick on you. Hang in there!