Let's say you have a teenager, and..

dictations

they want to get some body mods, like: piercings, get their ears stretched, or get their hair dyed a crazy color (even though that's not a mod, you get what I mean.)

Would you even consider it, or just say no?

Personally, if it was a tattoo or something, no, that's PERMANENT and you see things differently when you're older.
Almost anything else is okay in my book. They may be YOUR child, and yes, it may be YOUR roof they're living under, but do they really have any other choice? Plus, they're not hurting anyone and it makes them happy, so who's to say that what they're doing is wrong?

Blocking self expression is the worst thing you could do to someone while they're still young.

eva_lawlor

i would let them, i know i resented my guardian a lot when she would shoot me down for no reason, but they would have to pay for it ( simply for a lesson on money management )

AmandaPandah

I'm a teenager, and I don't give a flying **** what my parents think.

runnercheryl

I'd let them. They're a human being, not my possession.

I see my fiance being the stricter parent, though I think he thinks I will be. He asked the other day:
"You know you plan on giving our kids pocket money for doing their homework? Say there was a fairground in town, would you expect them to spend their pocket money on it...?"

I think he's worried I'm going to be an evil parent!

jboccio90

It depends how old this teenager is. I wouldn't care if they were 16 and up.
I would only be hesitant over the gagging of ears because a lot of people I know have ripped their lobes.
And as for tattoos, nothing below the elbows and no neck/face.

sevencallmemom

I do have a teenager and the answer is no to anything permanent.

I grew up in a family just the opposite. My mom gave my sister and I tattoos when I was 16 and my sis was 13. Now that I'm the momma, I just choose to do things differently because I don't like the results of her example.

My son probably resents me for saying no, but he won't be trying to hide some ugly homemade tattoo when he's 34 either, so maybe he'll be okay with it someday.

Il_DaniD_lI

I would say piercings, hair dye, go for it - ear stretching..no because I can't stand to look at it. Her father would say over his dead body to all of the above.

cardbucfan

I have two teenagers and I would say no to anything permanent and as for hair color and cut, if they get straight A's they can wear their hair however they want.

juliecat1

I have an 11 year old thats been hinting about gauges in her ears. Some of her friends already have them done. I think their parents are NUTS! No freakin way would I consider giving her permission for anything permanent on her body until shes much older.
Now, dying her hair - sure. I actually showed her and her friends how to koolaid dye last summer and they all had streaks. It washes and they thought it was fun.

robot_potato

If they earn the money to pay for dye and piercings, yes. They can do it, but not out of my pocket. Tattoos i expect them to think a little more on as that is a decision not so easily undone. If i decide that they are mature and responsible enough to make that choice, then i will sign for it. if not they can wait til 18 when they don't need my consent.

Brandicaloriecountess

No @ tattoos, I got one as a teenager behind my parents back and I hate it now.
I got one as an adult that I still love, but as a teen you don't think clearly, you don't think about the real true long term.

Piercings would depend on their age and the location and if it would leave any scars if they change their mind about it and take it out later.

Hair - fine do whatever.

I set rules and boundaries for my children not because they are my possessions but because it is my job to guide them and be the voice of reason that many teens lack.

Susabelle64

they want to get some body mods, like: piercings, get their ears stretched, or get their hair dyed a crazy color (even though that's not a mod, you get what I mean.)

Would you even consider it, or just say no?

Personally, if it was a tattoo or something, no, that's PERMANENT and you see things differently when you're older.
Almost anything else is okay in my book. They may be YOUR child, and yes, it may be YOUR roof they're living under, but do they really have any other choice? Plus, they're not hurting anyone and it makes them happy, so who's to say that what they're doing is wrong?

Blocking self expression is the worst thing you could do to someone while they're still young.

piercings ears.........fine
piercing nose........maybe but we discuss boundaries
belly button............fine, but at least 16
tattoos.....NO
body stretching things.........are you kidding me? NO NO NO!!!

There is more to this than self expression, if your child decides he wants to become a lawyer and he has these giant ear lobe things? Scarring later in life, permanent scarring (eyebrow, lip, etc). Tattoos.... totally dig tattoos, BUT this is a permanent alteration and some serious thought needs to go into it. Must be 18, period, I'll help you design and pick it out though.

LiddyBit

Hair dye and most piercings, I say go for it. I don't think it's wise to essentially teach a teenager that his or her body "belongs" to someone else, even the parent. Give them a little freedom to make some of their own choices about their bodies or they'll never have any practice to prepare for when they're faced with bigger choices about their bodies.

Il_DaniD_lI

Just had a thought.. my daughter is 4 and I have taught her that she is the boss of her own body. It's something she is proud of and says a lot. I wonder if she is going to use this against me when she is older? lol

TheWinman

Hair dye - fine
piercings ears.........fine
piercings nose......... If they are 16 and if it was the small one
belly button............15 and older fine. My daughter wanted one when she was 14. She brought it up and I said if you still want it when you turn 15 (which was 3 months away), I will take you. If I would have said no, she would have gotten a kit and a friend would have done it for her anyway (I'm 100% sure of that) and had a great risk of infection. This way, I did the research and took her to a clean well reputable tattoo/piercing place and all went fine.
tattoos.....NO
body stretching things.........NO

focus4fitness

Nothing permanent. I have two teens and neither ever asked for anything other than weird hair cuts (which I don't care about) they're both good kids who get pretty good grades.

If I had a girl I would let her get her belly done.

TheWinman

I set rules and boundaries for my children not because they are my possessions but because it is my job to guide them and be the voice of reason that many teens lack.

this^^^^^^

Mrsmis78

My daughter is almost 17. She is wanting piercings but I told her to wait until she was 18 and then I would take her and even pay for her first one. I let her do whatever she wants to her hair---she's an honor student, I don't have to worry about grades. Gotta be a mom first and friend second.

knittnponder

Tattoos they have to wait until they're over 18 and can pay for it themselves.

Hair color I usually encourage temporary color or chalking since they change their minds crazy fast.

Piercings the first one I paid for anything after that they pay for and it kind of depends on what and where. I personally don't like gauges or so many piercings that they detract from the person so we'd have to take that on a case by case basis and they will have to pay for it. I'm also not a fan of a belly button piercing on a teen just because I'm a mom and don't really want them all sexied up you know?

For the record, I have two teen daughters and have had these discussions in real life. I also have a son who will be a teen next year who has already asked for a pierced ear. I told him we will revisit the topic in a few years but 12 is a little young IMO on my boy. Yes, I do have a different standard on ear piercings for the girls but this is my domain and I reign as the evil queen. (He understands where I'm coming from and I didn't say "no", just "not now").

pudadough

Until they are 18 I'm pretty sure they'd need me to go with them to get a lot of things done. After that, I can't really stop them. I'd simply tell them "When you can drive yourself there and legally do it without my permission, knock yourself out. Until then, no."

Also, this idea that people whose decision-making cortex (frontal lobe) is still underdeveloped should somehow be encourage to do dumb permanent *kitten* they'll regret because of "individualism" is silly. Their brains are literally less capable of making rational decisions before 18-20 years of age. Literally, it is fact-based science.

And maybe we should teach our kids to express their individuality through song or art, which can be just as permanent, rather than a douchey tribal tattoo on their ribs and ugly gauge holes in their ears. Which really express nothing but the fact that you're exactly like every other 18 year old who has those things...

crazy8ts

I have a 12 year old who, since he was 9 has been trying to convince me to allow ear piercings... uh. no. Wanted to color his hair... get it cut... let it grow long... I am totally down. Had a crazy streak in it for a while (made him look like a skunk)... that's fine with me. But he also knows, I support and embrace his individuality, but there are certain things he'll have to put in his back pocket and wait on...

Now if I can only get him to pull up his damn pants!