??

So I've heard calories are bad for you, but if you zumba really heavy, then it's ok to eat 1/3 of your calories back. But if I don't eat those good 1/3 calories and only eat the bad calories, my body will go into starvation mode and my hair will fall out. Is this true ? What can I do ? If I deadlift and squat in my vibrams will I be OK ? Because I'm in vff's I won't have to do calf raises anymore right ? And since I squat and dead heavy, I don't ever need to do another situp or back extention again.
I logged a 2 mile walk that took me 1 hour to do. I couldn't find that exactly so I logged it as "walking 10mph". It said I burnt 2200 calories - does that sound right ? I've only been eating half of those back and for some reason, I'm not loosing any weight. I think MFP is wrong with its calculation so what should I do ?
Should I track my trips to the water fountain when I work out ? Or only when I have to go upstairs at work to get a drink?
Obviously I'm confused because I'm supposed to be eating 299g carbs and day which seems really low. I completely sedentary and yet I supposed to eat 1g of protein per day per lean muscle mass. My diary will reduce my carb intake if I increase my protein but I can't eat all that protein. Is using a thigh master the same as being an athlete? I really get a real burn when I use it just like I did 32 years ago when I was in track. Maybe I should be eating 1.5g per pound of protein because I really sweet and need it and I've put on 15 pounds of "mussels" in two days.
Maybe I should eat paleo but ignore the sugar in fruit - yea, that's good. I'll paleo with lots of pineapples and oranges each day. Then I'll just skip a meal and have a special K protein shake instead. Is that OK ? Afterall your body knows that this is healthy sugar right - it has a brain. And special K is proven to be healthy and help loose weight. I see that every night during the news so it must be true.
Should I supplement with some creatine for recovery of my workouts. If I cardio really hard, will I puke ? Is that bad ? Maybe if I keep my heart rate down in the fat burning range I can workout for 1 hour and burn 60 calories of which 80% will be fat burning(48) instead of going hard for 10 minutes and burning 120 at only 50% fat burning (60).
When should I shower and when is it ok to wear hair and makeup to my kettle bell class ? If I crossfit will I get bulky or will that only happen if I eat 17 blocks of fat ? If I do arm curls in front of the mirror for 3 sets of 5 reps will I lose my belly fat and get really strong?

... seriously ....

Does anyone else feel like this is exactly how the collective voice of these discussion board sounds ?

Replies

  • tialeanne
    tialeanne Posts: 186 Member
    How did you get inside my head? That's exactly what it sounds like in there.
  • jplord
    jplord Posts: 510 Member
    no
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,450 Member
    feel better now? :laugh:
  • Phoenix1401
    Phoenix1401 Posts: 711 Member
    Just remember, you shake it
    more than twice you're
    playing with it.
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
    42
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    Step away from the detonator my friend...it's really not worth it...

    Trust me.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    LOL! Thanks for the laugh. Good post!
  • Trail_Addict
    Trail_Addict Posts: 1,340 Member
    When the nice guys in the white suits come by, be sure to eat the yummy vitamins they offer you. Oh... and wipe the drool from your chin. :wink:
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
    Want to share my special hug jacket? The men in the white coats help me hug myself all the time, and it's quite comfy
  • sheri02r
    sheri02r Posts: 486 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    :drinker:
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    For even more random entertainment:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/609010-sexy
  • tialeanne
    tialeanne Posts: 186 Member
    For even more random entertainment:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/609010-sexy

    Don't go there. My brain asploded in that thread.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    For even more random entertainment:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/609010-sexy

    Don't go there. My brain asploded in that thread.

    Seriously...I'm still trying to figure out what the eff is going on.

    The drunk girl is a real piece of entertainment though.
  • abberbabber
    abberbabber Posts: 972 Member
    For even more random entertainment:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/609010-sexy

    Don't go there. My brain asploded in that thread.

    Seriously...I'm still trying to figure out what the eff is going on.

    The drunk girl is a real piece of entertainment though.

    Hey, I made nice!! :tongue:
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    For even more random entertainment:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/609010-sexy

    Don't go there. My brain asploded in that thread.

    Seriously...I'm still trying to figure out what the eff is going on.

    The drunk girl is a real piece of entertainment though.

    Hey, I made nice!! :tongue:

    Yes you did lol...but for awhile it was like all my favorite people switched points of view with some not so favorites, on both sides.

    I was seriously trying to adjust through the first half plus lol.
  • ashtonvv
    ashtonvv Posts: 144
    LMAO this is awesome.. exactly how I feel sometimes.

    and the "sexy" thread.. guilty on that one as well, hey I call them as I see them :P
  • theladyy
    theladyy Posts: 176
    That hurt my brain.
  • abberbabber
    abberbabber Posts: 972 Member
    For even more random entertainment:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/609010-sexy

    Don't go there. My brain asploded in that thread.

    Seriously...I'm still trying to figure out what the eff is going on.

    The drunk girl is a real piece of entertainment though.

    Hey, I made nice!! :tongue:

    Yes you did lol...but for awhile it was like all my favorite people switched points of view with some not so favorites, on both sides.

    I was seriously trying to adjust through the first half plus lol.

    See, that's what happens when you make friends with so many awesome people. They're bound to disagree at some point and then you're standing there like..... "Dafuq do I do now???"
  • dvisser1
    dvisser1 Posts: 788 Member
    hahaha.... after a couple really bad days at work I really needed that laugh!
  • Lift_This_
    Lift_This_ Posts: 2,756 Member
    Oh my poor brain.....haha
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    For even more random entertainment:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/609010-sexy

    Don't go there. My brain asploded in that thread.

    Seriously...I'm still trying to figure out what the eff is going on.

    The drunk girl is a real piece of entertainment though.

    Hey, I made nice!! :tongue:

    Yes you did lol...but for awhile it was like all my favorite people switched points of view with some not so favorites, on both sides.

    I was seriously trying to adjust through the first half plus lol.

    See, that's what happens when you make friends with so many awesome people. They're bound to disagree at some point and then you're standing there like..... "Dafuq do I do now???"

    Yes...that pretty much nails it lol.
  • Bahet
    Bahet Posts: 1,254 Member
    Just remember, if you gain muscle it weighs more than fat so you will be heavy which will make you ugly and no one will let you go to singles events so you won't meet anyone and no one will love you and you will die alone and miserable. All because you lifted that kettlebell. It's just not worth it.
  • SirZee
    SirZee Posts: 381
    If nobody heard you eating the calories back, did you really eat them back?
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,644 Member
    and which one of your MFP friends is the sexiest????
  • sewerchick93
    sewerchick93 Posts: 1,438 Member
    after reading that, I need a drink, or two or three
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
    For even more random entertainment:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/609010-sexy

    Don't go there. My brain asploded in that thread.

    Seriously...I'm still trying to figure out what the eff is going on.

    The drunk girl is a real piece of entertainment though.

    Hey, I made nice!! :tongue:

    Yes you did lol...but for awhile it was like all my favorite people switched points of view with some not so favorites, on both sides.

    I was seriously trying to adjust through the first half plus lol.

    See, that's what happens when you make friends with so many awesome people. They're bound to disagree at some point and then you're standing there like..... "Dafuq do I do now???"

    Yes...that pretty much nails it lol.

    I referred someone to that thread to A. Behold the irony. B. Witness your mad reffing skills. ;-)