What do you tell people...

gpstrucker

Most of my friends are supportive, and some have even decided to eat better and lose weight too. On the rare occasions when we eat together (we are all truckers and don't get the chance often) they will often wait until I order before they do, just to see what I am getting and then order something similar.

Remember though, in a social setting people are more relaxed with each other and so feel more free to ask such questions or make such comments. Don't make too much of it. If they are really a friend and are being annoying you should just say so, that's what friends do. If they get offended they aren't really a friend anyway.

Consider also that many people may say such things out of sheer ignorance, not jealousy or being mean spirited. A great many of us, myself included, were not raised to eat healthy and simply do not know any better. Part of my own lifestyle change was simply learning about food, portion sizes, etc.

It is entirely possible that they simply don't know and perhaps are honestly curious. Just a thought.

thanks for the alternative way of looking at it. I def was not raised to eat right.. southern fried food is no longer a part of my kitchen or body!

Yeah I know what you mean, I was also raised in the South where almost everything is fried. Simply cutting out the fried foods has made a huge difference for me in many ways, not just weight.

unassembledandy

speaking as someone who used to do this to people like yourself.

i think its a combo of ignorence and guilt

because I was an overweight goon and of course it wasnt my fault.../sigh, anyone skinny why dont you get the mega triple XXXXL burger (or whatever) becuase you're skinny it wont effect you...

and the other half guilt, because that horrible feeling of, well im already fat, so cant make me any worse, please dont order the thing i SHOULD order... i want to wallow and eat away my guiltyness

when really we should have both had a salad and got on with it.

im still overweight, but hopefully no longer a goon when it comes to it.

improved my eating habits and upped my exercise, and already feel the difference just in the quality of food im eating and my food being FOOD not "food" ... if that makes sense..

stuffinmuffin

It's really tough and I came up against quite a lot of this when I was losing weight. A year on, people don't seem to bat an eyelid and have used to the fact that I have changed to a healthier lifestyle. That said I will also order what I genuinely want to eat quite a lot when eating out, but would have compensated the calories through the week accordingly.

I used to find it really hurtful and to the point that I would lie about having eaten (blah, blah) cake for breakfast etc, which was really stupid thinking back but got them off my back a bit.

However what really was the turnaround was discussing the problem with my boyfriend and my MFP pals who's main advice was "It's your body and no one has a right to comment at what you decide to eat." Also imagining the shoe on the other foot as perhaps one of your overweight friends shovels cake in her mouth saying "Oooh should you be eating that?" Would invariably go down like a lead balloon.

You'll build the strength not to give a damn over a time...it is horrible but it seems to happen to quite a lot of us over this journey. xx

momtokgo

I don't get comments, but I get the "look". Not from my family, they are 100% supportive, but from my in laws. I have been getting the look for years because of how we feed our kids (whole wheat, low sugar, not much processed) as my SIL feeds her 9 month old peanut butter cereal, she looks at me like I'm an idiot for giving my kids fruit instead.

My husbands grandma us by far the worst. She is a food pusher, and not good food. Popsicles, cookies, cinnamon buns, white buns, pop, etc.

I have to go to a family party next month, I'm dreading it. Not only am I watching what I eat, I am following a vegan diet because of my IBS. It's going to be interesting.

EDesq

When you go out to eat and they all make comments bc you are ordering a salad/veggies/something healthy? I eat very clean and watch what I eat and there are certain people in my life that when I go out with them make comments like "why are you eating a salad" "you can afford to eat a slice of bread" (yeah I know but maybe I just dont want to), "you are obsessed" (why, I chose to eat healthy?). I am not one of these people who asks for things like a plate of lettuce with no dressing, I just eat clean and watch what I eat to maintain my figure. I wish people would stop making comments just because I chose not to eat dessert sometimes or bc I actually just want to look good.

I'm not sure if its a jealousy thing with people and I am not saying that to sound egotistical either, but its getting annoying and I dont understand why people feel the need to comment on what I chose to order or eat. I don't do this to other people, so why is getting done to me? Thoughts?

Get da hayell outta here!!! Are you a 7 yr. old who skerrrred to be YOU and "Caves" to Peer pressure. When da heck did someone's family or friends decide what they eat, drink or not. Do You, Be You and Grow-Up!

Di3012

When you go out to eat and they all make comments bc you are ordering a salad/veggies/something healthy? I eat very clean and watch what I eat and there are certain people in my life that when I go out with them make comments like "why are you eating a salad" "you can afford to eat a slice of bread" (yeah I know but maybe I just dont want to) , "you are obsessed" (why, I chose to eat healthy?). I am not one of these people who asks for things like a plate of lettuce with no dressing, I just eat clean and watch what I eat to maintain my figure. I wish people would stop making comments just because I chose not to eat dessert sometimes or bc I actually just want to look good.

I'm not sure if its a jealousy thing with people and I am not saying that to sound egotistical either, but its getting annoying and I dont understand why people feel the need to comment on what I chose to order or eat. I don't do this to other people, so why is getting done to me? Thoughts?

The bits I have bolded from your quoted post, next time they come out with such comments, answer as you have done above, see what they say.

You know, when you think about it, it comes to something when a fully-grown adult cannot go out for a meal and have presumptious questions thrown at them - other people really should mind their own business IMO. I am betting you do not make similar comments to them, why they find the need to comment on how you eat beats me.

Continue eating what you wish, it is your body, not theirs x

OSC_ESD

~ Choose your company wisely ... sometimes we out grow friendships. If it truly bothers you, maybe do some activities with these particular individuals that don't involve eating.

I have found that " food consumption " is a generic term for " gossip " .... people love judging others based on what one consumes. I just don't see the relativity to their lives what I choose to eat. I actually crave a good salad or edamame ... I love my Salmon and fresh veggies just as much as the next guy loves a big juicy burger. There really is know difference ... I am not lacking substance anymore than they are gaining useless calories.

Bottom line .... to each is own. If it stresses you ... remove the " event " from your life.

Have a GREAT day and ENJOY your favorite foods today ... I know I will ! :flowerforyou:

glittersoul

Tell them to shut it & they could use a salad, too... lol

Heaven71

From a skinny girl at work. I had a couple of homemade potato chips and she says, "Oh you're finally eating some real food?"

I looked at her and said, No just taste testing this greasy junk! I threw out the 2 chips left in my hand and walked away.

OpenHeaven

I find that those comments usually come from people that can't control their own eating habits. It's their own guilt that causes them to comment. I tell them that I enjoy what I'm eating and I know it likes me back.

^^^^^^This!!!! 100%

bradphil87

I went to dinner with my sis not too long ago and I researched a lil before I went and was able to find that a very good tasting entree was only 600 cals (consisted of shrimp and steak, both of which I love!) a lil higher on the sodium but, pretty good overall. She didn't even notice that I was eating healthy because, even tho I was, it looked so good that it seemed as tho I just ordered something at random

lucy0326

I sometimes get this from my family when I'm out with them, especially my mom. I've been over weight my whole life and to her me not eating like I use to just makes her think I'm starving myself. My sister says Im obsessed with Mfp because Im always on it logging my food or exercise, but I dont pay just attention to her. Just find a way to let it go, but if they keep on nagging I would find some new ppl to hang out with. They should be happy that you're being healthy not complaining about it!

chiltonenator

I tell them the doctor told me to eat like this (which is true). If I were feeling mean, I would say, "Because I don't want to look like you."

LovetheNewMe

I gave up explaining to others why I chose to eat the way I do, I think my weight loss speaks for it self. I sometimes want to say to others, have you looked in the mirror lately and if you had maybe you would chose more wisely. I am very chosey these days what I put into my body. i believe we do this for ourselves and no one else. If I had of continued to eat like I used to I would have seriously topped the scales at over 300 lbs.

ShellyShuey

So let's say you listen to them and eat something else -- you'll be miserable and have to work it off, while they go off without thinking twice about it! What kind of friends are those?

kdeaux1959

The comments will stop. Eventually people will never remember that you didn't always eat healthy. Eating healthy is the minority. Unhealthy people genuinely don't understand.

Except for the first part of the comment, I must whole-heartedly agree. Will the comments ever stop... not likely ... at least not totally. Of course you could always turn the tables and say... do you REALLY need that third helping of cake there? I mean you look like a walking heart attack now... ;-)

desert_rhino

I've got a policy of not hurting people's feelings... If they offer more than once, I usually accept the cake, cookies, whatever, take one reasonable bite, praise it, thank them, and put it down.

As for those commenting on my order, I just shrug and say something like "This looks good today. Maybe next time I'll get whatever."

mes1119

TBH, when I'm out with friends I usually allow myself a indulgence meal.

tryinghard71

If being obsessed is working out, eating right, losing weight in a healthy way that will prolong my life, make me feel good about myself and I a determined to stay on track. Then sign me up! I am officially obsessed.

Jamcnair

A couple years ago, I was getting my sometimes usual side salad and smoothie from McDonald's for lunch & the lady asked if I wanted croutons...I said, "No, thanks." and she said "Oh come on...you gotta have some croutons" or something like that...and I said "I didn't lose 30 pounds by eating croutons" and she totally changed her tone and said "wow. congratulations!"