Not Having the best week

PlaidLee

Okay - bit of a rant here... rather than keep it all bottled up inside - that only makes things worse. So, life in this past year has been trying to say the very least. Ended five year relationship and just was going to try and hide from the world for a bit. At least a year. Felt a bit wounded. Then around Christmas this "great" guy comes into my life and says everything that I wanted to hear. Who knew I could be so easily manipulated. I was going to quit smoking but he smoked so didn't. And there were lots of warning signs which I ignored because I was so blissfully unaware (or was I) But I started to lose weight. Not a lot really because I was always cooking and doing the taking-care-of thing that I do.... Then found out he was fooling around behind my back. I was crushed, I got angry, I got sad, then I woke up and decided to focus on me. And I did, changed how I was eating, working out a lot, quit smoking. In just over a month I lost 10 pounds, my blood pressure became fantastic and I did quit smoking and had a lot more energy and confidence. So much so, that all of a sudden I have people interested in me. Which is nice to be pursued rather than be the pursuer. But this past week, I have been dreaming about the ex, and I swear, karma must be out to get me, but after not seeing him in a month, he has driven past me twice in the past two days. And then I have been dreaming about him and not sleeping. And Wednesday I ate half an extra-large pizza - and no, not in the food diary. And I have stepped away from my work outs. (I am still doing a lot of walking to and from work and for errands). I just need motivation to get back into my groove again.

So any words of encouragement to get re-focused? I could really use them. Thankfully I am visiting my best friends this weekend in Nova Scotia (fly out in the morning) and they are always good at putting me back on an even keel. I was doing so well not thinking about the ex. But all of a sudden, I can't stop thinking about him. After a month and a half, i should be better by now. *sigh*

I've babbled on enough - just wanted to get it out.. otherwise would have just kept it inside and eaten another half pizza. hehe :ohwell:

kman27

What weight were you when you and the ex split up? A long time ago I read an article that talked about how when people return to the weight that a tragic event happened in their life they can start feeling those same emotions again. Also, as you are getting in better shape your libido increases and maybe you and the ex had a lot of good times together so now you are thinking of them more?

A change of scenery and hanging out with good friends sounds better than any advice I could give. Have a blast and get rejuvenated.

MeMyCatsandI

Honestly, we all go through this type of thing. You'll get through it just fine. It's good that you are going to be with friends who can lighten your spirits. When I'm really down, I actually find that it helps me to "give in" to the sad feelings, cry as much as I want, watch depressing movies, eat half a pizza then eat the other half, drink a bottle of wine, and really just dwell in the sadness. Pretty soon, I get tired of myself, tierd of feeling like that, and I get off the couch and am extra motivated to get my "old" life back. It's ok to feel down, it's ok to eat half a pizza, its ok. Eventually you'll feel better and you can reclaim your motivation. When you're ready, you will.

pamelak5

I'll play armchair psychiatrist here Do you think you are trying to sabatoge yourself a bit because you're nervous about moving on to someone else? Slipping back into unhealthy habits, thinking about an ex? Words of encouragement - do the things that make you feel happy, even if they don't make you happy right now. Get back to exercising, put away the cigarettes. Treat your body as well as you deserve to be treated.

Bizeebec150

Think of it this way any relationship that is going to have a negative impact on the progress you are making to become healthier, stronger & better - can't be good. With self discovery, including weight loss there are constant battles with past relationships with people as well as food. Thoughts of him have obviously triggered something that is having you eat and stop working out. Look for those endorphins from you workouts and not the "dreamboat" put the focus back on yourself. If you don't take care of YOU how can you take care of another.

Have a great weekend with friends, put on something cute, fun and flirty and see how you feel after that!

PlaidLee

Thanks eeryone for all of your comments. I found truth in all of them. And I do think that I've been a bit destructive because of perhaps moving on - that being said, I don't know if I am ready to move on and I don't want to hurt anyone. That's key for me. And don't worry - have no desire to smoke. That beast is gone thankfully.

I am going to just do as you say - focus on myself. In the end, only I am able to make myself happy. And not by gorging and wallowing in self-pity.

Time to pull up my socks and get re-motivated. Back to the gym tonight after work. Laundry can wait!