My biggest fear!

oberon0124

I am driven today by the biggest fear there is in my life. I have great burns for the most part that border on crazy burns and everyone tells me to bring them back down to the normal range. I have excellent friends that really care for me and really know what they are doing when it comes to exercise. They tell me to tone it down also, they say I am over doing it and all. That I train way to much and that it is bad for me after a certain point!!! I love my friends I really do and they are the best, bar none!!! Yet my fear is crazy over me and it makes it hard to listen to these fantastic friends, it really does. The bad thing is I know for a fact that they are right, yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So my fear that comsumes me is..............................

The fear of going back to where I was! I fear that if I do it will kill me and I am so sure of it that I fear it more than death its self. I am scared of ever going back and it drives me to the extreme. As I told one friend I would rather die of a massive heart attack now then slide back to where I was and die a couch potato like I was. You see I have had one other major weight loss of over 100 lbs (107 to ber exact) and I do not want to gain the weight back like I did before. I swear now that will never ever happen and I swear I will do all I can to make sure it does not happen. My friends this fear is so real at times it comsumes me to the point of tears. I know here I am supose to be this big bad tuff guy yet I have a fear that consumes me so fully that I tremble at its thought! I truly fear this and will do all in my power now and in the future to never let this fear happen to me again, If it did, I fear I will not survive.

Sorry for the rant yet I just had to say this. Is my fear normal or just plain crazy!!!!

gpstrucker

Sit on the couch, turn on the tv, eat some chips, and don't worry about it.

My biggest fear is flying spotted space frogs.

jhardenbergh

Fear is not always a bad thing, fear can be a good thing a motivator. Fear is a motivator for me. I say to you do what feels best for you. I see your big burns everyday they are great burns. The question you have to ask yourself is really is it something you can do forever. When you get to the point you are happy with your progress are you still gonna be pushing as hard. At some point, you will have to get to a level that you can maintain forever. I have failed in the past with weightloss because I was so gung ho and burnt myself out. This time around I have found a healthy balance that is maintainable. You will find that point as well. Its trial and error. Don't be afraid to change it up so you don't get bored with it. I have changed up my routine a bunch in the last year or so.

NurseCarolyn2014

Thank-you for posting this. But the change that you are making is a lifestyle change. You are wonderful with your determination and it is apart of your life now. But more importantly......YOU are wonderful because of YOU!! So no matter where YOU are in your journey YOU are amazing!!

browneyez27

seems completely rational to me ....you work so hard for something you've struggled with presumably for a long, long time..and you're afraid of going back to that deep, dark place both physically and emotionally

that being said, if you you continue to overdo it for long periods of time, you can make yourself sick, burnout, or even regress (which is your fear to begin with) ...

take a deep breath, realize how far you've come and be friggen PROUD!!! and continue to be an inspiration for others like myself who are just starting this new and healthier phase of life!!!

susansil

If this fear is as paralyzing as you describe, you may benefit from professional counseling. Working yourself to the point of injury or burnout is just as unhealthful as being a couch potato. I work in fitness and have experienced exercise anorexics who have work themselves into the hospital. What good is that?

Some concern is normal. As you've experienced, you have to remain ever vigilant, but there are limits. If you follow a healthful program and keep tabs on your weight, you won't gain 100 lbs. back. Remember, you have to gain 5 before you can gain 10. I'd give myself a 10 lb (or so) cushion and just be watchful and clamp down when & if you need to.

Good luck, relax & enjoy your new life!

Lovestoscrapbook

You already have the answer in your post. Acknowledging your fear and understanding that there is a difference between emotions and the real truth doesn't make either less real. You need to acknowledge your emotions but also understand from a rationale perspective that you have the power now to control your future. And it sounds like you have the willpower to ensure that you only go forward and not backwards.

wilmnoca

My story is quite different, but the fear is the same. After years of disordered eating my workouts, fitness and health goals have become very regimented. I have every meal planned from the days start, every calorie is logged and i choose my workouts based on my food intake and work schedule. And you know what, its works for me. Im in the best shape of my life, healthy, energetic and yes, a control freak when it comes to my body. I spent so many years damaging myself and I have turned it completly around with nothing but hard work and dedication. Call it obsessive, but I feel so I damn good I couldnt care less. Do whats right for you. You have to live in your body everyday. Its our temple right? Keep up the hard work! *virtual fist bump*

prov31jd

I think you probably needed to write this down and share it -- a good step to facing your fear. I think your fear is perfectly understandable.

When I feel fear, I remind myself that I am loved -- if by no one else, I at least know that God loves me. The Bible says "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear . . . " (1 John 4:18). I find comfort in this verse! Perhaps you could too.

Listen to your friends -- sounds like they surely love you!

nicholettebell

Your fear is the same as mine. But I recently made the decision that this is not going to rule my life. I don't know about you, but for years, well, all my life to be exact, I was in denial about my weight. The difference this time is that I am aware of what I am doing. I have decided that I am going to live my life and not let this control the way I live. It's just my life. And like what some have already said, you have the power to control your future!

Lots of hugs!