Losing all my faith..Not my fat

Fathima0712

I haven't worked out properly in over 2 weeks and feels crappy bout it..and yet cant seem to able to get past 10mins of exercise.. been still eating less though!! Where did the super energized Me go?!! I have also been lacking in Studying..! GAWD..gimme back the girl i was..i think its the internet addiction starting up again..Help me QUIT..i log on to log my food but go over to Gmail,or pinterest or facebook and lose myself there!!


i keep wishing that i had an ED...i know its very wrong to think like that...but i am THAT desperate to be thin...i honestly wish i cud Binge and Purge..but cant even seem to do THAT..i am willing to starve myself in order to lose weight or workout for 3 hours a day..but even that wont work..cause with less food and more exercise i will go in starvation mode right?! i am sick of eating.... honestly i think one reason i don't wanna workout is because i DON'T wanna eat back the calories...am i sick or what?! i know this is not delicate stuff i am saying...i know i might get grief about it from you guys...but i am hopeless...i feel like such a mess..!!its been 4 months and all I've lost is 8lb..and not even a change is there in my body..!! !

Its seems like the only thing i am losing it FAITH..Not Fat..

iron_jj

Get professional help asap please. :ohwell:

Fathima0712

Get professional help asap please. :ohwell:

Really?!!!

Do i sound that bad?!

MyTime1985

If you want it bad enough, you'll get up and try again. Remind yourself of all your goals, being healthy or anything else that got you motivated to begin with. That pair of jeans you want, etc.

Starving yourself or wishing for an eating disorder is just dumb. Sorry. I'm sure the people that really have to struggle with those things day in and day out aren't real crazy about you saying that either but I understand desperation. Just don't give up. You want to be thin but I would hope you want to be healthy as well!

PayneAS

Get professional help asap please. :ohwell:

I agree. If you are actually wishing for an ED, you may actually have one and not realize it. Regardless, you need to talk to a professional.

livinginwoods

From your own profile" I have gone from a size 16 to a size 10 and now i am pretty confident that i can get it down to a size 4.That is my goal!! "

You have already done a great thing and you are no longer fat!!! You may not be built for a size 4 girl. Be proud of what you have done so far!! I have also lost some of my motivation due to events in my life but I am back at it and trying again. It is a slow process and you need to stay focused. You got this.

Fathima0712

If you want it bad enough, you'll get up and try again. Remind yourself of all your goals, being healthy or anything else that got you motivated to begin with. That pair of jeans you want, etc.

Starving yourself or wishing for an eating disorder is just dumb. Sorry. I'm sure the people that really have to struggle with those things day in and day out aren't real crazy about you saying that either but I understand desperation. Just don't give up. You want to be thin but I would hope you want to be healthy as well!

I know what i am saying isnt something light..
I am confused as to what i am supposed to do..
I tried calorie counting and low carb...both didnt help..low carb made me lose some weight,but i ended being super lethargic and drained through the day that i couldn't even go to class due to headache and nausea!
So i quit that and is back to calorie counting!

spinedocmfp

It is a long term process, not a sprint. You have lost 1/2 lb per week, which in the big picture is good. Enjoy you success, and build on it. It is easy to panic about it, but remember healthy living is for the rest of your life, not just till you hit college.

Fathima0712

From your own profile" I have gone from a size 16 to a size 10 and now i am pretty confident that i can get it down to a size 4.That is my goal!! "

You have already done a great thing and you are no longer fat!!! You may not be built for a size 4 girl. Be proud of what you have done so far!! I have also lost some of my motivation due to events in my life but I am back at it and trying again. It is a slow process and you need to stay focused. You got this.

The thing is i feel confident bout the lbs I've lost...and feel better in my skin than before.but when somebody gets to know that i am on a diet,or trying to lose weight..they look me up and down and go.."you aren't done yet,are you?! you look the same to me.."
And that just makes me go all emotional like this!

Fathima0712

It is a long term process, not a sprint. You have lost 1/2 lb per week, which in the big picture is good. Enjoy you success, and build on it. It is easy to panic about it, but remember healthy living is for the rest of your life, not just till you hit college.

thanks! the way you put it that i've lost 1/2 lb per week actually made me feel better!
thanks a lot!

Francesca3162

If you have gone from a 16 to a 10.. then you do know success.. and you need to remind yourself with each new day that you want to move forward, not backwards... i think the wanting of an ED is the need for faster results,,, but that is harmful and not successful.. so just go to what works for you!! how did you get to 10 from 16? RINSE AND REPEAT!!

Fathima0712

If you have gone from a 16 to a 10.. then you do know success.. and you need to remind yourself with each new day that you want to move forward, not backwards... i think the wanting of an ED is the need for faster results,,, but that is harmful and not successful.. so just go to what works for you!! how did you get to 10 from 16? RINSE AND REPEAT!!

Thanks so much Fransesca!
I am glad i decided to post this topic rather than keeping it to myself and hating myself!

WelcomeToWonderland

I've gone through a lo with my health but my eating disorder was probably the hardest thing that i am STILL dealing with. Not something i'd wish on anyone.

Fathima0712

I've gone through a lo with my health but my eating disorder was probably the hardest thing that i am STILL dealing with. Not something i'd wish on anyone.

I know..I am sorry that you had to deal with something like that..

But i was just desperate and exhausted and lost my focus today............
.It was a horrible thing to wish for..i am sorry..!

2bFitNTrim

I see on your profile that you are aiming for 101 lbs, is that right? Might be a good goal if you are very petite, but I don't know how tall you are or what your body type is. Is it a realistic goal? Be careful because you do come across as if you may have an ED or be heading in that direction. Seek help if you cannot get rid of that feeling that having a ED would be great.

Just my opinion, but I wish you would focus more on your goals in life and less on getting super tiny. There's nothing wrong with wanting to drop some weight (if you really need to) and/or getting more fit, but I think you would be so much happier if you redirected that some of that energy to school, hobbies, friends, etc.

Focus on being healthy & strong , having a full life and I think you'll be less stressed. Easier said than done, I know. Many of us (me included sometimes) are so focused on what we are eating & our next workout, that we forget to live life.

You are 18....oh, to be 18 again....so much to look forward to, don't blow it! :flowerforyou:

Fathima0712

I see on your profile that you are aiming for 101 lbs, is that right? Might be a good goal if you are very petite, but I don't know how tall you are or what your body type is. Is it a realistic goal? Be careful because you do come across as if you may have an ED or be heading in that direction. Seek help if you cannot get rid of that feeling that having a ED would be great.

Just my opinion, but I wish you would focus more on your goals in life and less on getting super tiny. There's nothing wrong with wanting to drop some weight (if you really need to) and/or getting more fit, but I think you would be so much happier if you redirected that some of that energy to school, hobbies, friends, etc.

Focus on being healthy & strong , having a full life and I think you'll be less stressed. Easier said than done, I know. Many of us (me included sometimes) are so focused on what we are eating & our next workout, that we forget to live life.

You are 18....oh, to be 18 again....so much to look forward to, don't blow it! :flowerforyou:

I am 5'4 and i have a small bone structure...Its not exactly what i want my body to be..i want it to look like my idol(an indian actress) who weighs around 101lbs..but rather than the "weight" i want my body to look like hers,the weight wont matter if i am fit and toned..!

I wish i could do that...i have had lots of fun( a bit too much actually) last year and i kinda fell off track off everything..i am just wanting to achieve some things me or anyone else would have believed possible for me.Getting into a great college and getting fit are parts of that and right now,i am focused on that,and since it is senior year everyone spent more time on things like this than friends...

and i am just the same...right now,i feel that i have 1 year to achieve the things i want and then have all that fun once i get to college...!

liftingheavy

Gosh, I remember when I was 18 and about to go to college. The anxiety alone was enough to send me over the edge. I was not overweight in college, and you know what? There were days that were horrible and days that were great. Don't think if you reach your goal weight that everything will be rosy.

You are doing a great job, celebrate that and love yourself for it. EVERYONE has insecurities, even "skinny biotches". I'm not one, but some of my best friends are.

All the best to you and good luck in college. I tell ya, without a degree these days it's almost impossible to find good work in this economy.

GoTanieGo

It matters NOT how many times you fail, but how many times you TRY. It sounds like you've been listening to the voice inside you that says, "its way too hard, give up". Tell that voice to shut the hell up, turn the computer off, and go for a good long walk. It IS hard, physically AND mentally. Do you want to succeed? If it were easy, none of us would be obese. I'm not trying to be hard on you love, but you have to be ACCOUNTABLE. Once you learn that, the rest gets easier with practice. The biggest and bestest advise I ever got, I'll share with you. HAPPY IS A CHOICE. Make it. It helps, more than you could ever imagine. Add me if I haven't offended you too badly.

blueroses_78

are you eating enough? Taking vitamins? If you don't eat enough calories, you will GAIN weight. If you don't eat enough calories and don't take vitamins, you WILL be lethargic. Your body might be in starvation mode. Your original starting weight was 160: that's 10 lbs less than me right now. I don't feel fat because I know what it's like to be super fat. I've lost 100 lbs since July of 2011. Don't beat yourself up because you aren't Kate Moss skinny. You need to go to a doctor, see what your fat free mass, your body fat percentage, and your actual pounds in fat to determine exactly what you need to lose. With your height and bone structure, 101 lbs is most likely an unreasonable goal to set. I'm the same height with a medium bone structure. I should be between 124-138. For your height and frame, you should weigh 114-127.

You are NOT the "fat chick." TRUST ME. When I weighed in at 270, I looked back at my high school pics. I had thought I was the fattest girl around because boys didn't like me, I wasn't "popular" with the in-crowd. I saw a REALLY bony girl in the pics when I looked back and I wondered how on earth I could have believed I was fat. I'm now about the same size I was in high school (with excess skin on my belly and arms and thighs thanks to my massive weight gain).

Please go talk to a counselor or a doctor about your body issues. Try to increase your calories to at least 1200, and don't starve. Even if you DON'T reach your goal, you are still beautiful.

blueroses_78

and one more thing: Health is not a race, it's not an "ultimate goal" - if you want to get healthy, it's a LONG TERM thing, not just a year. It may take longer, it may take shorter, but it's about making healthy choices FOR LIFE, not just until you meet your goal.

foodfight247

You've done great so far - hold your head up and do this for YOU. The ED thing - please talk to someone like your doctor. To have those thoughts even if you didn't mean it, should really be addressed.

You don't need to lose weight fast - do it in a steady, healthy, nutritious way.

I'm 4ft 11" and my GW is about 110lb. Currently im at 83lb and my Calorie goal is 1800. I may not need to put on that much more or even reach the 110, but I'm just gonna see how I go and what looks healthiest and feels healthiest for ME. Personally, i don't think you need to go as low as 101lb given your height. 101lb may be better for me, given that I'm a little shorter. :-) That's not to say, I'm telling you 101 is wrong for you - whatever GW you feel and look healthiest at is your decision.

Congratulations anyway on your loss - chin up tho - it's not all bad. Just takes time and good, healthy focus. :-)