No wonder our perception of beauty is distorted - video

jessgrey2 · May 2012

This is an older video but I love it so much. It is from the Dove "real beauty" campaign, which has now morphed into a self esteem campaign for young girls and teens.

The video shows how the media and photoshop wrecks havoc on our self esteem. Watch it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U

Here is another cute one from the same campaign, I love this one too

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkFPN1WYi3E

PunkyRachel · May 2012

I've seen these before. I was shocked at how much Photoshopping was done. It's a sad reality.

Awkward30 · May 2012

I like the Cindy Crawford quote "Even I don't wake up looking like Cindy Crawford"

PunkyRachel · May 2012

It goes both ways, with beefing up the men too, with Photoshop. I can see a little make-up on the ladies but you can't believe what anyone really looks like in magazines/advertisements anymore

http://youtu.be/-_I17cK1ltY

crisanderson27 · May 2012

I'm probably going to get jumped...because I'm 100% sure at least some of you won't take this the way it's meant....

But here goes. No one tells me what I find beautiful/admirable. Do I think Ms. Crawford is beautiful? Sometimes...sometimes not. Do I think that ripped underwear model on my package of Hanes is admirable? Sometimes yes...sometimes not. But it's not based on what I see on TV, how they photoshop her on TV, or anything else. It's based on my own choices, my own experiences, my own life...and real people I see and interact with every day.

I guess I just can't fathom someone naturally having a low enough self esteem, that they can be crushed by a TV ad, or a magazine layout. I know it happens, and to be honest, I blame their parents (or lack of) not some ad on TV or in a magazine. My 14yr old daughter doesn't have body issues like half her friends, she doesn't envy the models she sees on TV...she knows that if she wants her body a certain way...she can work for it. She's also been made aware that she's beautiful as she is, and that some bodies, simply aren't attainable. That's called parenting, and taking responsibility for what belongs to you (issues, not children =p).

How on earth does this become the fault of the advertiser??

Now, again...I've got a fireproof suit on...so blast away. Before you do though you should also understand that I don't think this isn't a problem...and isn't something that needs to be dealt with. I just feel the blame doesn't fall where most of you believe it is.

Awkward30 · May 2012

I think the main argument is that men grow up seeing abs in man magazines, so they want those abs. Women see these seemingly impossible beauties in magazines that seem impossible because they actually aren't real. I've never really bought into this, and I think it is still the parent's job to raise the child and the retailer's job to sell stuff. If their strategy of having a clothes-hanger with limbs started to be ineffective, they would change it. So all we, as consumers, have to do is stop wanting that. I looked through a vogue on the elliptical the other day and the only body in the entire magazine I thought looked good and made me want to look like "that" was scarlet johanson. Smokin' bod in a curve loving dress.

Anyways, I see both sides of the argument

jessgrey2 · May 2012

I'm not blasting!

But.....the media does play a role in how many people feel about themselves. Your daughter sounds healthy and confident and that's wonderful, good job for instilling confidence and raising her well.

Have you seen the plethora of "thinspiration" blogs on Tumblr? There are clearly a huge number of dysfunctional young adults out there.

The Dove videos always make me feel good and maybe I am a victim of Madison Avenue at times..... but I thought that they may give others a cheerful boost, hence the posting in the "motivation and support" forum.

CoryIda · May 2012

I big giant puffy heart you, Cris.

Fran62ZK · May 2012

I have a Roku, so I watch many older movies. Even the movies from the seventies show actresses that are not stick thin and without flawless faces. It is very striking how much more of just one body type, with flaws edited out, is required in today's media. I understand that Vogue is planning to NOT use young adolescent girls or anorexic looking women as models anymore. I hope that it is true and that more realistic body types that are simply fit but not razor thin will become acceptable on TV, in movies and in commercials.

katenmills · May 2012

Do you mean the parents are to blame for not explaining to their kids that there's a lot of photoshopping being done to the people you see in the media or :S?

crisanderson27 · May 2012

Sooo much more than that...but yeah...my daughter and I have discussed it. Its a game we've played for years. Spot the fake girl...literally. I refuse to have my daughter judge herself against anything but her own sense of self worth. Anything I can do as a father to stop that...I do. Its MY responsibility...to MY daughter.

Anything less is unacceptable.

And I love you too Cory

.

JulieH3art · May 2012

That one is so cute! Just so endearing.

The media holds a lot of power over what we idealize. Don't be fooled into thinking differently. Our subconscious picks up on the clues and incorporate them into us without us ever realizing it even happens. You may not think you are being affected, Cris, but you are. Sorry to break the bad news to you. I'm sure you do have your own ideals and everything, but those ideals are made up of impressions beyond your control.

crisanderson27 · May 2012

That's an interesting outlook...and must explain why I find most of the women in various ads, movies, and commercials far less attractive than other men I know.

:flowerforyou:

More seriously though...I think its more that my parents taught me early on to be my own person...make my own choices, and live by my own judgments. I agree that we are all influenced by the things you said...but the level of influence...and the hold it carries on you...comes down to personal strength, character, and self worth...and those things stem directly from your upbringing.

JulieH3art · May 2012

Haha, well you do seem sure of your own strength and self worth, I'll give you that.

But it's an interesting topic of discussion, because we do not know exactly how far we can consciously control our own likes, dislikes and patterns of behaviour. From the time we are very small, we are able to pick up on impressions, form memories, and store them in places our conscious mind cannot reach. Not even when we try to focus on them are they available to us.

You said,

and, I mean, really? Do you think it comes down to self esteem and parental skill? A lot of things clearly come down to that but beauty and body ideals have been dictated by peers and by media for centuries. Just think about the renaissance and their image of an ideal woman.

You are right that it is up to each of us to censor and interpret what we see for ourselves, but we aren't born with this power. Heritage and environment will teach us how to do this to a better or a worse degree, but some part of it is still out of our control. Or so I believe, at least. A realistic idea of what beauty and beautiful is doesn't come easy.. and I'll dare to say it never has. Is it the fault of the people who make the advertisements? Of course not. They are subject to this as much as any of us.

roachhaley · May 2012

I understand what you're saying about not being the fault of the advertiser - but the fact is that some body types that are shown in print media are LITERALLY unattainable. They photoshop away protruding ribs and hip bones. You simply can't get as thin as some of these girls and NOT have some sort of protruding bone.

edit: Whoops, just saw that you already said unattainble. But the whole "work for the body she wants" thing is what triggered me to say that, so I think I'll leave my reply up. You can work all your life and not get the result you wanted.

chanson104 · May 2012

I mostly agree with you. I appreciate and maybe even love your post. However, unfortunately, there is a lot of good parenting that isn't going on in a lot of areas. Reality is its our young people that are paying for it and society needs to step up.

NocturnalGirl · May 2012

I don't blame the media but neither would I blame the parents. I have kept my goals very secretive from anyone so it's hard for anyone to help me get a better understanding of a healthy body image. On the inside, I stress about weight and calories every single minute of the day. I want to lose weight so that I can see my bones and feel good about myself. It's hard not to starve myself or purge and I constantly call myself fat every day. Of course, I'm much better now and helping myself where I can, but I just have to say that I don't blame my parents at all.

SueSlick · May 2012

thanks for sharing those Jess...as the mother of a 16 year old daughter I feel bad for the pressure she is feels - self inflicted & media inflicted - to look a certain way. I think it was easier to be myself when I was her age. High school girls of today can be very cruel, add on top of that the many ways to connect via FB & tumbler just adds to this pressure. Yes life was simpler, but maybe it also allowed us develop a better self image with that smaller circle of people watching & judging. I wouldn't want to trade place with my daughter, but do keep trying to encourage her & help her see herself through my eyes...in my eyes she is amazing and beautiful.

jayliospecky · May 2012

I see what you're saying, but I also think different personality-types respond to these things differently. I tend to be naturally very hard on myself, and I see my older daughter tending to be the same way. My younger daughter shrugs off any negative input like water off a duck's back. As hard as her father and I try to instill self-confidence and self-esteem in my older daughter, she may always struggle with these issues.

Even having said that, though, I personally have a way harder time with what I say to myself in my own head than what I see on tv or magazines. But positive messages in the media do encourage me somewhat. And I think it IS crazy when you hear stories about actresses who are already thin being told by tv producers that they need to lose 20 pounds. I'm really glad I'm not in that world.

hcoburn37 · May 2012

well said and completely agree

sarabig2fit · May 2012

this is crazy. i didn't know they make eyes bigger, necks longer.. that is nuts.

Oishii · May 2012

Showed it to my 4 year old and he thought it was hilarious. :laugh: Hopefully, as he gets older, I can keep showing him such things and help him to think about them. For the moment, when I asked him why he wanted to marry one of his classmates, he said 'Because she rides a bike too fast'. :laugh: I'm sure the mainstream media will get to him eventually, but not yet.

ZugTheMegasaurus · May 2012

It's not merely a matter of low self-esteem or bad parenting; that perspective completely discounts how pervasive advertising is in our culture by making it seem completely unusual or outrageous for someone to be affected by ads. The average person is exposed to hundreds of ads per day, and even if they don't pay close attention, the images are still seen and processed in some way. There is also little basis to dispute the fact that ads do indeed affect people; if they didn't, companies wouldn't throw billions of dollars into advertising campaigns.

You don't have to have low self-esteem to want to emulate what you're seeing around you and what is held up as positive. Nor does it mean that you aren't coming to conclusions regarding attractiveness or beauty yourself. As you put it, "It's based on my own choices, my own experiences, my own life," which includes the ingestion of those many images. That's what people who expect to become model-esque are doing as well. The problem is that they do not recognize that those images are not representative of reality. They see it and hear about how it is beautiful and desirable, so they want it for themselves. That's not a personal failing of any kind. It's a healthy drive for personal improvement but is unfortunately put into a context that will never yield a "successful" result.

Your daughter is lucky to have a parent who is aware and can teach her about these things. But many people do not. Their parents may well not know themselves; that doesn't make them bad parents. Think about your daughters' friends who do have issues. Unless something changes before they become parents, then they'll have no basis to teach anything different. A parent who's bad at math and can't teach their kid algebra isn't a bad parent either, just flawed.

jessgrey2 · May 2012

Well said. And saying "I am a great parent, my kids have no problems" is a bit ignorant imo, because the potential is always there. Parents can only do so much. And in most cases, teens are much more influenced by their peers than their parents.

lickmybaconcakes · May 2012

Agreed with this statement.

crisanderson27 · May 2012

Here is the thing...and it may be that the way my words came out didn't convey my message. I meant that the answer is parenting. Your parents may very well be quite wonderful...but if they had started at an early age...and instilled that positive sense of self from the beginning, I don't think your problem would be nearly as drastic, if you still had a problem at all. As was mentioned above...this may not be the 'fault' of your prents, but had they been better armed (not necessarily more aware), it may have been prevented.

And for the record...I'm a very, very picky man when it comes to attractiveness, and rarely hand out compliments of beauty without being prompted, and yet...as I've said before, I think you're beautiful.

Something to take with you I guess.

Thank you...I count myself very lucky to have a daughter who makes my life easier...not harder. Not all parents are so fortunate. I've raised her alone from 11mos, to her almost 15yrs old. Along with my sons...she's pretty much the only thing in the world that matters to me.

On point though...the part in bold...again, could be effectively eliminated by more strategic, and active parenting. I still 100% fully believe that instilling in your child, from an early age...the ability to objectively make decisions is one of the keys to not only successful parenting, but giving your child the best chance for happiness in a world that is going to attack them relentlessly from the moment they enter kindergarden (or pre-school for that matter), until death. This is just one facet of that. Changing the world directly is a grand scheme, and I wish all the activists trying to enforce positivity in this circumstance...and all others for that matter...goot luck, but the fact remains that the true changes must come from parents, along with any true defense for your child. You cannot take away a companies rights to advertise in ways that sell their product, unless they are violating direct ethical standards. Making something appear 'more slender' or 'bigger' than reality, or anything else for that matter, is no violation of ethics. It's appealing to people's tastes in the best way they know how. Subliminal advertising is a violation of ethics, and this is certainly not the same thing.

The part in italics...I agree with, and as I mentioned above I apologize if my first post put too much emphasis on 'bad' parenting, rather than active and effective parenting. Most children today are the recipients of a sort of 'benign neglect'...rather than true parenting. Think of the above young lady, or even the friends of my daughter we both mentioned. If their parents in fact took a more active role in their lives (assuming as you said that they have this knowledge to begin with....which I really can't imagine them not having, everyone knows half the ads on TV and elsewhere are edited, if not overtly fake...to one degree or another), they would very likely not be having the issues they've had.

I also understand that people inherently have different personalities...one child is brash, one rude, one bold, one timid. Again...actively making an effort to recognize these things at a very early age, is critical to successful parenting. I don't parent, reprimand, or reward any of my children the same as any of the others. About the only constant, is that no means no, and is for their own good. Teaching my youngest son (barely 5) not to do something is a completely different task than teaching my older son (6 and a half) not to do the EXACT same thing. Their ages give them similarities, their personalities make those similarities irrelevant.

As jaylio mentioned above...she has different issues with each child...but I wonder, had she started combating this before she realized her older daughter might be having self esteem issues...perhaps they may have been more easily corrected.

And please...I know that sounds like criticism of her parenting methods! It's sooooo not!! Parents today face challenges that their own parents couldn't have imagined...and that their grandparents couldn't have even come close to conceiving of in a million years. Adapting to those changes is critical, and not always possible in an effective time frame. But the fact remains, that holding an ad company accountable for trying to make their products more beautiful, more saleable, more attractive...that denies some fundamental rights our country is built on. Unless they are doing so in a way that is absolutely impossible to defend against (again, true subliminal advertising)...it's simply not their fault.

I guess my point is that trying to instill a conscience in 'society'...is almost always going to be doomed to failure...as 'society' has no singularity, no ability to 'comprehend', or make self aware changes. Also...what you, or I perceive to be 'society'...or its motives or intentions...may be completely different. It's a fluid thing, and because of that...almost impossible to affect in any real; direct manner. Yes, we definitely should fight these things, with parental awareness campains leading that fight. But to hinge hopes on the outcome of that battle, is very shortsighted in my opinion. Fight your own fight at home, make yourself a better parent every day of your life...and you'll have done far, far more to affect society in the long run, than any activist protesting the actions of a private company ever could.

Elizabeth_C34 · May 2012

Very much agree with this.

I would also add that most of us, especially women, need to come to terms with the fact that most of us are "average" looking by society's standards. People who fit the mold of "gorgeous" by advertising and marketing campaigns are extremely rare. Does that mean that we're all ugly? No. Does it mean we are unattractive? No. Does it mean that we're not beautiful to someone else? No. Confidence comes from being comfortable with who you are just as you are and being the best you that you can be. There is more to life and confidence than physical appearance.

I would also like to add that I think women are so much harder on each other than men are. This makes me more sad than anything else. I have friends who are models. They are gorgeous and get a ton of attention from men. They have lost friendships because other women in our group were too insecure about themselves around these gorgeous women, and sabotaged them or did cruel things to them. I've had some friends dump me when I gained weight because they thought I was "too fat to hang out with." Ladies, please stop hating on other women.

InvidiaXII · May 2012

It's great that you're instilling that mindset in your daughter at a young age... I was really shy and insecure as a kid/teenager-- and if I'm being honest, I still am!-- and I don't remember my parents ever doing much to help my confidence. The self-image you develop as a kid sticks with you and can be hard to change, I think. So I agree, the media is going to do what sells best, can't directly change that, but everyone can try to raise their kids to have a positive, healthy self-image.

katydid25 · May 2012

I've always loved this premise, but hated the source. This "campaign" is from the same group of people who create the Axe commercials filled with breathtakingly tall, beautiful women in scantily-clad clothing and always portrayed in a sexual light. Not exactly the same wholesome, self esteem enhancing message.

In my opinion, these videos are just great marketing for Dove products.

BarringtonFinbarNash · May 2012

agrees, the adds are a great idea to get people to band together and accept a real image, however thats not i think exactually what dove had in mind.

i don't recall the exact name/product for advertising dove did , but there was one where they got loads of "ordinary people" who kept saying i never thought i would be in a beuaty advert, but what they left out of the public eye, was they still had a very restritive critera on that advert for what sixze and shape you where.

i do hope if the campaign takes hold, that itr goes in it's own direction and eventually leaves corparte support, because business cares for profit and not people.

wackyfunster · May 2012

As the father of a little girl, I think this is a great topic. I read an article recently stating that the average size of a woman in women's magazines is size 0. That is just disturbing. In the same article, it pointed out that the average size of a woman in men's magazines is size 8. I really think that it falls on women to just stop supporting people who portray such a distorted view of feminine beauty. You vote with your money, and by giving money to companies that perpetuate these images of "beauty" you are holding that unhealthy (mostly) size 0 up as the standard that all women should be judged by. Simply put, advertisers and magazine editors have determined that the size 0 woman is what women want to see, and what they will pay money to see. Until that changes, our societal image of what female beauty is will reflect that.

No wonder our perception of beauty is distorted - video

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