help!!!!!

babygirldanica

i've been doing this for over a year now and have no one to help me through it cause everyone i know says yea i'll do it with you and then i end up doing alone so i am not losing it. i at one point was gaining it back and said that enough was enough and then started back on my diet and am trying to do it still on my own

meshashesha2012

i think the sooner you realize that you are ultimately responsible for your health, the better. that way when people fall off then it wont affect you. you have to stop using other people as an excuse to not meet YOUR goals.. most of us on here are doing it on our own and some people have lost well over a person, so you can do this on your own.

just find a plan that you can stick with for the rest of your life (so you wont think of it as a diet) and keep reminding yourself why you're doing it.

LucindaLeeMI

I'm sorry to hear that no one is helping you through your journey, in fact I was going through the same thing. The only support system I have is this site. I've asked and asked and tried and tried. And I realized there is no one that's going to physically help the weight come off of me but me.

You've got to have the strength to do this on your own because people won't always be there along side going through this with you. I'll add you and we can motivate each other.

I hope this helps in some way! :flowerforyou:

Lady_Bane

i think the sooner you realize that you are ultimately responsible for your health, the better. that way when people fall off then it wont affect you. you have to stop using other people as an excuse to not meet YOUR goals.. most of us on here are doing it on our own and some people have lost well over a person, so you can do this on your own.

just find a plan that you can stick with for the rest of your life (so you wont think of it as a diet) and keep reminding yourself why you're doing it.

I am happily married with wonderful friends....but there are times when you have to say "its me, and i can only rely on myself". It sucks, but knowing that it is ultimately up to you, comes as a relief after a while.

Pebble321

I think it's an interesting realisation, that you can only do this for yourself.
Ultimately it is your decision and you've made a great choice to look after your own health.

Well done and keep up the good work!

tialeanne

I had a friend who I kept starting with and we'd always stop. We'd start and stop. Start and stop. And then I realized she was actively sabotaging us. We worked together and we'd make plans to go work out at lunch time, or we'd take turns bringing "healthy" lunches. Well during lunch there was always some reason she didn't want to go and wanted me to stay and help her do something and on her days to bring lunch she'd bring fried chicken, potato salad, rolls, and cake. :mad: She quit and this is the first time I've been able to hang in there for more than 3 or 4 weeks.

Sometimes it's better to do it alone.

tansygreen

This is exactly why I have never done well with having a 'gym buddy'. It's so easy to slip into synch with them, which is great if they're doing well and pushing you further, but if they lose interest it makes an excuse for you.

I wouldn't recommend relying on anyone else to do this with you it is such a personal thing anyway, all our fitness and nutrition needs are different. Good luck and you can do this on your own!

babygirldanica

wow great work :happy:

EvilPink

Been there done that. My aunt once came up with the plan to have a lb bucket going; a dollar a lb. Every time we lost a lb, we put a dollar in the bucket, whomever lost the most weight by our set date got all the money. That lasted about 2 weeks until she quit. Once she quit, so did I. Another time at work there was a pool going, same type of deal. There were 8 of us involved; 6 quit (myself included that time) and the other 2 decided it wasn't worth it for just the 2 of them. I've joined local groups; weekly walkers, meet-ups, etc. You get a few that are committed but the majority of the group comes and goes and eventually trail off never to be seen again. And that same thing happens here on MFP too. People come on, you'll make friends with them and then they fade away. Been there and done that one too. I started August a year ago, did well for a couple months then I was gone.

It all comes down to you have to be responsible for yourself and do it yourself. You just have to finally get to that point where there's no more excuses and you really want it and go after it, no matter where others may stand. There's certainly nothing wrong with continuing to seek out friends/weight loss buddies. It's been proven time and time again that having someone to help you be accountable during your weight loss can really help and make you lose weight faster and keep it off long-term. So, definitely don't discount the benefit of having those buddies and when they come along, make the most of them and appreciate them and motivate them the same way they do you, but, you also have to just tell yourself that, no matter what, whether those buddies stick around and you help each other or whether they end up trailing off, you are going to do this!

babygirldanica

thanks guys thiand it's helps and is what i needed to hear

meshashesha2012

i think the sooner you realize that you are ultimately responsible for your health, the better. that way when people fall off then it wont affect you. you have to stop using other people as an excuse to not meet YOUR goals.. most of us on here are doing it on our own and some people have lost well over a person, so you can do this on your own.

just find a plan that you can stick with for the rest of your life (so you wont think of it as a diet) and keep reminding yourself why you're doing it.

I am happily married with wonderful friends....but there are times when you have to say "its me, and i can only rely on myself". It sucks, but knowing that it is ultimately up to you, comes as a relief after a while.

exactly. i started this for real in january with 2 other friends who were fed up and tired of being overweight. they immediately went the "i want to lose this weight ASAP" route and one went on a restrictive diet while the other signed up for a super intensive workout plan. needless to say both of them dropped out by the end of january and have been on again and off again with it, but still no progress of course since it's not consistent.

the funny thing is neither one was all that interested in following a moderate change in their behavior like i did because they wanted to lose weight FAST. now my tortoise method has led to 25 pounds loss (still more to go) compared to nothing from their hare method.

babygirldanica

yea i understand about the fast way cause i was like that at first but when talking to other and reading up on the net i found out that slow was better just get fustrating sometimes cause i know that it's coming off and for a little while i was stuck at the same weight and i was doing everything that i was doing before the only thing that i do different now is riding a bike and walking to the bus stop everyday and i am noticing a change little by little.

meshashesha2012

yeah you cant use the scale as your only means of measuring or else you WILL go crazy. also take your measurements. sometimes i wont lose anything at all for 2 weeks on the scale but will drop 3 inches of fat. Sometimes i wont lose anything.

Also set up some non weight related mini goals for yourself stuff like learning and perfecting a new healthy recipe, drinking x ounces of water, beating the time it takes you to go a certain distance on cardio, increasing the weights you lift by x%, etc.. these are all things you can work towards on a daily basis that will keep your mind from thinking negatively when you arent seeing results you want to see or when you're tempted to fall back into old patterns and habits.