New-ish to recovery

vatblack

I'm going to be one of those people that wash my dirty laundry in the first 5 seconds you know me! He-he. I have had an eating disorder since I was a child. I have tried on and off my entire life to keep my weight down but have failed miserably each and every time, and, you guessed it, I gained more than I lost each and every time.

In 2005 I had great success that lasted for 2 years in which I lost 80lbs, then big changes came to my life, ALL POSITIVE (apart from my mother's death) and I gained it all back and some more. I have been hovering around 300lbs now for the last 3 years.

I have long known that my weight is subjective to my moods due to me using food as an escape. During 2010 I joined a 12 step group to try and address my weight issues from the right angle. Only, that didn't work either because it kept feeling like I was dieting and the whole experience gave my inner self enough ammunition to use for self deprecating self talk. The very experience that was meant to give me relieve from my obsession with food became reason to obsess. Bliss for the addictive mind while wrecking havoc on my body and sense of self worth.

Just recently I have conferred with a psychologists and finally admitted to myself that I have been suffering from depression on and off for the most part of my life. The greatest advice I got from this experience was to exercise, meditate and eat well. It also became clear to me why my 12 step program hasn't been working. It was still not really addressing the cause of my addiction to food, however it is a good way of keeping on track and having the support one needs when you are recovering.

So, all that information was given to get to this question:
Is there a group on here for people like me who cannot focus too much on the "dieting" aspect of weight loss because the very numbers are triggers that make us eat? I love the food and exercise logs, they do not trigger me, they help me know that I'm on track and that I don't have to spend precious mental effort worrying whether I've eaten too much, enough or too little.

I am looking from support form like minded people who do not obsess about the amount of calories in a certain food, or the protein grams, fat grams and the like. I don't want to obsess about calories burned, whether I've reached my optimum heart rate or whether I should eat my exercise calories or not. These things are all useful informative tools that I'll use when I need them, but I need the support to to succumb to eating for self punishment, self hatred and because I don't want to face a difficult situation in my life.

So, any group like that on here?

CEHayes73

I don't know if there is a group, but I'm just focused on being healthy. I've been overweight pretty much my whole life, and am now diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. I have chronic depression, but am on medication and well-controlled at the moment. Exercise is a huge part of my strategy for staying mentally, as well as physically healthy. If it sounds like we could be compatable, feel free to add me. I also have a love affair with sugar, and have wondered if I am addicted. I have already lost 12 pounds, and have 60 to go to get myself to a BMI in the normal range, but I'm only looking to lose 1-2 lbs per week.