The Fat Burka

Jezebel9

When I began with MFP, I had a discussion with my husband about it all. He's a particular kind of guy- he likes what he likes, and I wanted to make sure he would still like the new body. Well, I am sure he'd like me with less fat- no concerns there. But, I tend to put on more muscle. I am petite- small wrists and ankles- but I can put on muscle easily. He's pretty strong, sort of has a Mr Incredible body type with just enough fat around to make me love the cuddly. … Anyway... so, our conversation went on and I said that when I lose weight, men notice me and also begin to hit on me.
It is nice to be the object of someone's desire and attention.
But it's just about T&A, sex appeal- that's all. And my issue with that is, for the most of my life I have been valued only for that. I am strong, smart, funny, caring, creative, outgoing... but no one cared or could 'see around the stripes' (reference to Catch Me If You Can). People can only see what's in front of them, they often can't think past the disguise.
And it is unfair and crappy.
yes, ~wahhhh~!
And wearing my 'fat burka' for years kept me from having to deal with it. Men passed me by and DIDN'T EVEN BLINK AN EYE IN MY DIRECTION. And that was fine with me.
And women often have similar behavior, but it is different, since for the most part women do not want sex with me... and those who do are often a little less one-dimensional.
My husband said to just use it to my advantage, if men are attracted to me.
~Sigh~
But this is my life and I am not going to walk around carrying a load of fat on my body, weighing me down because men are hardwired from the nuts up.
It isn't their fault. I know, really. I do understand the prime directive.
If men were not made this way, they would not pursue women in order to spread seed and life and the human race would just sort of disappear out of lack of interest in procreation.
And ~DISCAIMER~ I know not all men are like this... it is just what I have experienced.
Anyway.
I am not going to live my life as a reaction to how others have treated me, especially when it leads me to living a half-life, being half healthy, joyless, fat, sick and close to death.

{Taking the fat burka in one hand and tossing it in the trash}

chocoholicdiva

I don't blame you for doing it. I have been getting rid of some of my own clothing items, shedding some of my own former self both mentally and physically. I have been wearing the "fat suit" for too long. I don't have a spouse to gripe to, I don't even have a boyfriend. No one's ever wanted me. (There's several reasons why, the damn fat suit is one.) If my fatness wasn't the reason, then the guys never had the guts to ask me out was more likely the other. Then again, who'd want to date a fat lady? I can't go anywhere on my own to meet someone because my epilepsy is too severe yet, and I don't have enough friends in my own hometown to go with. A lot of the friends I have live outside my city, and the ones that do live nearby I haven't seen in a long time and have a life all their own since I last saw them. Don't feel bad over yourself. There's always someone who has it worse off than you do, I guarantee it.

*Taking the larger fat suits that no longer fit and ditching them*

Kalynx

right on!