my hairy kid

sleepytexan

RANT:

Well . . . here's a nice one.

I have an adopted daughter from Armenia. She's 4 years old and very hairy. She has absolutely FABULOUS waist-length hair, very unusual for her age, but that comes with very thick brows (unibrow, yes), and has much more body hair than I do (of course I'm of Irish-Scottish descent, so we're practically hairless animals anyway -- must be the whiskey).

Any Armenians here? You know what I'm talking about!

So today at childwatch at the gym, some kid made fun of her! WTF! This was a girl, around 5 years old and she teased my daughter about the very dark hair on her arms and legs! MAN!! I knew this would happen eventually, but didn't expect it so soon. Sheesh!

I remember kind of chuckling with the translator in Armenia when I visited the orphanage and all the babies had full heads of black thick hair and unibrows (I am not kidding!). She told me everyone waxes there and that her earliest memory was her mom taking her to get her arms waxed. Well,I don't think that's really an option here in the US (maybe in Glendale?), bc someone would report me to CPS if I did that!

Anyway, I am just pissed at this little brat that mocked my daughter and made her cry. Ugh!

amsparky

As someone who has dark hair and fairly light skin (I'm Black - dark hair, caramel coloring...hair shows UP) I was teased constantly growing up.

My daughter had the same issue, until a month ago, we got her lip waxed. I thought I was going to puke from the worry and guilt, but she is so much happier!

All I'm saying is when she gets a bit older, if she is getting teased a lot, you may want to consider it. (ducks away from flying debris...LOL)

ETA: And of course, boo to the little snot who was making fun!

XXXMinnieXXX

Aw kids can be so cruel, and no need to duck honey, sad that's what she has to do for a quiet life, but I don't blame you for encouraging it! Being bullied is a terrible thing! X

rextcat

wow, my kid has said some bad things, but not in a teasing way, she dose the child like "observations" of the people around us, and :blushing: :embarassed: at times ....:embarassed: well all you can do is shrug and apologize

imsleepdeprived

I'm brown and can relate. But when i was you younger for me it was just my way of being different - go ahead and tease me - i'm keeping my bushy eyebrows. It wasn't until university that I started to do my eyebrows and upper lip. Even now my mom tells me i should get my arms waxed or get laser hair removal - and I'm still resisting! ( i must admit I'm not as hairy as most indian girls...)

kmuree

Honestly, I'm Caucasian and when I was ten years old I was called "gorilla legs" by a boy in my class.

I feel so sorry for your little girl.

The best thing you can do for her is to support her and tell her that everyone has their differences and give her something cute and sassy to say back to those bullies. When the time is right, allow her to alter herself a little. I've shaved my legs since the age of 12. I've waxed my unibrow since I turned thirteen. I've shaved my arms since age fourteen. I have very dark hair for my complexion. :huh:

The best thing as her mommy that you can do is equip her to handle those situations. I'm sure there are books out there to help, but my mom just always gave me an ear to listen and when the time was right, she helped me gain that confidence.

Of course, there's nothing wrong with being a la natural!

ehg87

Ok so I am hairy/was for sure the SUPER hairy kid....and it SUCKED. I remember getting teased about arm hair as young as 6......if it's not bothering her; I wouldn't worry about it...but if she starts talking about it, and it's taking a toll on her self esteem then why not let her wax/shave. I begged my mom into FINALLY letting me shave my legs at 10.....and I wanted to since I was 8. And I FINALLY got my lip waxed at 13 (best day of my life) SECOND best day of my life was when I was 16 I finally had the nerve to shave me arms, and contrary to popular opinion they really don't come back in feeling "stubbly" And for real it was a serious confidence boost...may sound stupid and shallow to some, but once you've been teased about something you think that everyone that sees you is staring at your mustache or arm hair. That's my two cents and then some.

jazziesaj11

I'm half Lebanese Armenian so I know exactly what you mean. I was pretty fortunate in that I didn't get very "hairy" besides my scalp until I hit about 11-12 years old but of course the minute that happened ALL the children in school had to say something. I actually had a bit of "sideburns" if that's what you could really call them, so all the kids would tease me and say I'm a boy and crap like that. It made me feel very insecure and self conscious. I think if my parents hadn't separated and I was around my Lebanese female relatives more it wouldn't have effected me so much, but without them for examples I felt like a freak and like I was all alone. Of course I know better now that I'm older, but especially as a female teenager already dealing with insecurities and hormonal changes let's just say it wasn't easy at all. My mom did actually take me to get my upper lip, sides of my face and eyebrows waxed and even though it hurt (like freakin hell xD) it was something that I wanted. So my only advice is to prepare that it's not going to get easier for your daughter and remind her she's different and beautiful because of her heritage, try to embrace it. When she's older see if waxing/shaving is something she would want, then you can go from there. Hope this helps.

Il_DaniD_lI

So sad. Kids are so mean, terrified for my daughter to start school this year.

MB_Positif

I am part Italian, so I have been blessed with some unwanted dark hair...I totally got picked on a lot, but I managed to brush it off as a young person and as I got older I thought people were just dopes for making fun of it. There are LOTS of women of different ethnicities that are on the hairy side. Get over it! That said, I am pretty sure that my mom (who absolutely has less hair than me) just taught my sister and I to just know that it wasn't that big of a deal and that there was no reason for anyone to make fun of us for it! I doubt this helps, but I can relate for sure!

christine24t

My daughter had the same issue, until a month ago, we got her lip waxed. I thought I was going to puke from the worry and guilt, but she is so much happier!

I had to get my lip waxed when I was very young too because it looked like I had a mustache and I got teased bad by this one boy because of it. I am soooo glad my mom let me. So thank you for taking your daughter in, you will help her self-esteem so much!

I am very hairy too. When I was younger, I used to hate the hair on my arms. I still don't like it, but I'm more accepting of it after seeing I'm not the only one with hairy arms. I also have darker skin in my armpits - it's not hair, just darkened skin - and I used to really hate it but now I don't really care and will wear sleeveless stuff (but I won't raise my arms).

Kids are dumb and will find the dumbest reasons to tease a child!

I think if your daughter expresses interest when she is older, you should let her shave if she likes. I had hairy legs starting in fourth grade but I didn't get to shave until sixth grade and I was soooo self-conscious about it.

wordpainter09

oooh..this is a hard one. I'm Caucasian but I have a lot of natural hair on my arms/legs etc, have decently bushy brows. I get it waxed. Not the arms though. Can't deal with that!

I remember hearing some comments about it as young as 9-10 as well and I ran straight for the razor. My mom didn't want to encourage it too young but she realized it made me unhappy to NOT do it so she let me.

We live in such a sexualized society now...younger girls are forced to grow up really fast and look like adults in elementary school! I'm not a parent yet so not sure what I'd do. I wouldn't want to encourage that, but at the same time, if other kids are all shaving their legs/waxing brows at a certain age and she already feels different, I might let her do it.

What a bad experience! Kids are so harsh sometimes. I'm sorry!

amsparky

Ok so I am hairy/was for sure the SUPER hairy kid....and it SUCKED. I remember getting teased about arm hair as young as 6......if it's not bothering her; I wouldn't worry about it...but if she starts talking about it, and it's taking a toll on her self esteem then why not let her wax/shave. I begged my mom into FINALLY letting me shave my legs at 10.....and I wanted to since I was 8. And I FINALLY got my lip waxed at 13 (best day of my life) SECOND best day of my life was when I was 16 I finally had the nerve to shave me arms, and contrary to popular opinion they really don't come back in feeling "stubbly" And for real it was a serious confidence boost...may sound stupid and shallow to some, but once you've been teased about something you think that everyone that sees you is staring at your mustache or arm hair. That's my two cents and then some.

^^ this right here - well said!

llmichalek

I agree. Waxing is a little rough for a small child, but maybe a hair removal cream or shaving in a few years. I know it sounds like you're bowing to the bullies. But, what makes it any different than getting braces for crooked teeth, painting her nails, or wearing stylish clothes? It doesn't make the other child right. But if it will make your daughter less self conscious and make her life a little easier, then what's the harm?

HiKaren

First of all. God bless you for doing that. Thats my people. Thank you.... Oh....... Whatever you do.... Don't tweeze her eyebrows... My Mom did that to me when I was 6 or 7 years old, and my left eyebrow has a tiny scar on it, and the hair would never ever grow back in that spot. Its the little spot I have to fill in with a pencil. .....

(edit) Did you know that there are Armenian girls with blonde hair? We call them the "Moush" I'm a Moush, and the dark haired pretty girls are called "Beetles" (Cher, Kimmy K) Thats something I'd have to ask my grandpa about. Well hes gone now. And... I think it has to do with the region in Armenia that we are from. I'm not sure. I always wanted to be a Beetle.

sleepytexan

First of all. God bless you for doing that. Thats my people. Thank you.... Oh....... Whatever you do.... Don't tweeze her eyebrows... My Mom did that to me when I was 6 or 7 years old, and my left eyebrow has a tiny scar on it, and the hair would never ever grow back in that spot. Its the little spot I have to fill in with a pencil. .....

(edit) Did you know that there are Armenian girls with blonde hair? We call them the "Moush" I'm a Moush, and the dark haired pretty girls are called "Beetles" (Cher, Kimmy K) Thats something I'd have to ask my grandpa about. Well hes gone now. And... I think it has to do with the region in Armenia that we are from. I'm not sure. I always wanted to be a Beetle.

I've read that the Moush were the original Armenians, and you still see many in the rural areas. I read that the darker complexion and hair resulted from intermarrying with darker Persians, Iraqis, Turks. -- well, maybe not intermarrying always -- sometimes results of war

Anyway, you are all beautiful!! No need to thank me, she is a beautiful gift to US!

sleepytexan

I have tried to cold wax her unibrow (Sally Hansen wax that comes in little plastic sheets--you warm it in your hands first. She did not complain, but I don't think it works that well.

For now that is all the waxing we do. I don't wax myself personally, so I don't know how to do a better job -- I will wait some time for her to ask for arms and legs and then hopefully a professional will not think I am insane if I take her.

Oddly, she was born with a bilateral cleft lip and palate, and with the scars, you would think that the kids would make fun of that. Thank God they don't. Many have asked her about it, but in just a curious way. For a while when people asked her, she would ask us, but now she just tells them "I went to a doctor and had surgery for my nose and mouth".

She has a little partial mustache -- not full, bc originally she did not have a top lip, so I think the partial one she has is bc of skin grafting.

Anyway, if it continues to the point of her being upset, I guess I should go up to Glendale (about 90 minutes from here). There is a huge Armenian community, so surely people are waxing their kids there, right?

What other communities wax children relatively young and would not think I was insane to take a child?

imsleepdeprived

threading is what is big in the brown community!

christine24t

For now that is all the waxing we do. I don't wax myself personally, so I don't know how to do a better job -- I will wait some time for her to ask for arms and legs and then hopefully a professional will not think I am insane if I take her.

I don't know your child, but I don't think a child needs to wax their legs and arms (maybe I am reading wrong what you are saying). Shaving, sure of course. But a girl can learn to shave everyday, at least until she is older. Eyebrows and upper lip are different to me in that those are harder and usually need to be waxed.

Ocarina

Haha this thread makes me giggle. Not out of sheer meaness but because my husband is full blown Moorish Italian. He's got the hair going on big time! :-D

He says he's had to go through bullying because he is VERY HAIRY... but hasn't ever done anything about it. Sad though... he never swims because he's embarrassed by the hair. We've thought about getting him waxed/shave but it's a pain to keep up with =P

Laziness prevails!

lgomez75

im late on this thread and dont have any helpful advice.
all i want to do is hug your little girl so tight and kick the shins of the other child (not literally, just figuratively)

my son was/is a hairy lil furball when he was born. so much so that even the dr who delivered him cracked jokes.
i was less than amused. mama bear has gone into full blown episodes to protect lil Nico ...even tho its "ok" for boys to be hairy...no one likes their kids messed with.

major hugs lil one and may you always feel beautimous, inside and out!!!

EmCarroll1990

My cousin's a mix of Portuguese and Italian and was a very hairy child. We finally convinced my aunt to wax her legs and unibrow, and she was much happier.

sleepytexan

For now that is all the waxing we do. I don't wax myself personally, so I don't know how to do a better job -- I will wait some time for her to ask for arms and legs and then hopefully a professional will not think I am insane if I take her.

I don't know your child, but I don't think a child needs to wax their legs and arms (maybe I am reading wrong what you are saying). Shaving, sure of course. But a girl can learn to shave everyday, at least until she is older. Eyebrows and upper lip are different to me in that those are harder and usually need to be waxed.

No--I didn't say she's going to wax her arms and legs. I just said someone picked on her for having hairy arms and legs.

I don't think I would shave arms anyway -- wouldn't that be awful?

I said I do her unibrow, sort of badly, bc cold wax by Sally Hansen doesn't really work

HiKaren

First of all. God bless you for doing that. Thats my people. Thank you.... Oh....... Whatever you do.... Don't tweeze her eyebrows... My Mom did that to me when I was 6 or 7 years old, and my left eyebrow has a tiny scar on it, and the hair would never ever grow back in that spot. Its the little spot I have to fill in with a pencil. .....

(edit) Did you know that there are Armenian girls with blonde hair? We call them the "Moush" I'm a Moush, and the dark haired pretty girls are called "Beetles" (Cher, Kimmy K) Thats something I'd have to ask my grandpa about. Well hes gone now. And... I think it has to do with the region in Armenia that we are from. I'm not sure. I always wanted to be a Beetle.

I've read that the Moush were the original Armenians, and you still see many in the rural areas. I read that the darker complexion and hair resulted from intermarrying with darker Persians, Iraqis, Turks. -- well, maybe not intermarrying always -- sometimes results of war

Anyway, you are all beautiful!! No need to thank me, she is a beautiful gift to US!

I didn't know that.. Wow... I had to save this to educate myself. Your really lucky to have a sweet little Armenian girl. And your daughter is lucky too, that you came and got her. I think that's the nicest news I've heard all year long .

harribo_mum

Ok so this might go against the grain abit but why don't you teach your daughter ways to cope with the bullys and to love herself the way she is instead of wanting to change her? If in years to come she wants to shave/wax then fine but don't teach her to cave inyo peer pressure as kids will always find things to pick on other kids about that's just the way they are.

sleepytexan

Ok so this might go against the grain abit but why don't you teach your daughter ways to cope with the bullys and to love herself the way she is instead of wanting to change her? If in years to come she wants to shave/wax then fine but don't teach her to cave inyo peer pressure as kids will always find things to pick on other kids about that's just the way they are.

We are not changing her, but thanks for your concern. It was just a vent; she has forgotten all about it; but I haven't. That little brat is on the **** list.

EDIT: Wait, did you mean about the hair or the cleft lip/palate? Because we did have surgeries for that -- you need to correct it; it impacts speech, hearing, swallowing; breathing . . .