Emotional Eating/Binge Eating

TurnLeftNow

Thanks everyone for your replies and your words of encouragement. A lot of what you say makes sense, and I know that logically it should be enough to get me to finally make the change.

As far as feeling more guilty for throwing the chocolate away or more guilty for eating it... I definitely feel loads more guilty for throwing it away. I will obsess about it for days and days and weeks if I throw it away. I will feel bad and guilty for weeks. But if I eat it, even if I over eat it... I care and I feel bad but not AS bad. I like eating the chocolate, I like not stopping at one... it is "fun" and enjoyable it is the only "happiness" I have, even if I feel bad that eating so much is embarrassing and shameful.

As far as eating clean goes, I am not sure if that will work for me. I did it once in the past and I went an entire year eating fairly clean (no fast food, no sweets, no chocolate, no chips etc) and yeah... that did not end well. I had one piece of chocolate once and I binged for months and gained so much weight. Thinking about that time, it was not a good time in my life at all... it was terrible. I restricted a lot of foods and I don't want to end up back in that area... and I know once I start cutting foods out I am going to end up doing it again. Or that is my fear. I have too many good memories and positive associations involved with dessert type foods that I can't imagine my life without them. I know that eventually I probably need to get rid of them because they are trigger foods... however right now, I think that is too much to handle alone. Although the tricky part about that is... well the binge eating.

I would love love love to get therapy, but I don't have enough money for it. I have been starting to see if I can find places that offer cheap prices or for free but so far it hasn't been working out.

The whole switching a fruit out for chocolate thing doesn't work for me anymore. I eat the banana and then I end up eating a yogurt, drink 4-5 glasses of water and still end up going for the chocolate. *sigh*.

It is ridiculous to think that throwing out the trigger foods or not buying them anymore would be hard. You think I'd do it right away. But yeah, I could ramble on more and more but I won't.

Thanks for listening and thanks for giving advice. I appreciate the support.

amyotte1992

I began seeing a therapist, i needed support. I also set more reasonable, smaller goals and worked towards them. Take a day off, go do something good for your self and realize how important and beautiful that you are!

heb12one

Thanks everyone for your replies and your words of encouragement. A lot of what you say makes sense, and I know that logically it should be enough to get me to finally make the change.

As far as feeling more guilty for throwing the chocolate away or more guilty for eating it... I definitely feel loads more guilty for throwing it away. I will obsess about it for days and days and weeks if I throw it away. I will feel bad and guilty for weeks. But if I eat it, even if I over eat it... I care and I feel bad but not AS bad. I like eating the chocolate, I like not stopping at one... it is "fun" and enjoyable it is the only "happiness" I have, even if I feel bad that eating so much is embarrassing and shameful.

As far as eating clean goes, I am not sure if that will work for me. I did it once in the past and I went an entire year eating fairly clean (no fast food, no sweets, no chocolate, no chips etc) and yeah... that did not end well. I had one piece of chocolate once and I binged for months and gained so much weight. Thinking about that time, it was not a good time in my life at all... it was terrible. I restricted a lot of foods and I don't want to end up back in that area... and I know once I start cutting foods out I am going to end up doing it again. Or that is my fear. I have too many good memories and positive associations involved with dessert type foods that I can't imagine my life without them. I know that eventually I probably need to get rid of them because they are trigger foods... however right now, I think that is too much to handle alone. Although the tricky part about that is... well the binge eating.

I would love love love to get therapy, but I don't have enough money for it. I have been starting to see if I can find places that offer cheap prices or for free but so far it hasn't been working out.

The whole switching a fruit out for chocolate thing doesn't work for me anymore. I eat the banana and then I end up eating a yogurt, drink 4-5 glasses of water and still end up going for the chocolate. *sigh*.

It is ridiculous to think that throwing out the trigger foods or not buying them anymore would be hard. You think I'd do it right away. But yeah, I could ramble on more and more but I won't.

Thanks for listening and thanks for giving advice. I appreciate the support.

heb12one

Hey there,
I could easily write what you have written and understand the bizarre connection/prison of food. I havent beaten it yet, but am on the road to recovery & feel stronger than ever. I am going to a group, called celebrate recovery, that has given me some TREMENDOUS tools to fight this daily battle with mind/emotion/food. And as I uncover some things about myself and begin to learn the 'whys', I have begun to gain control. The group is free, and is a Christian group. I'd be glad to share more info if you're interested.
Ironically, I am new to MFP, and was just browsing looking for things I might relate to. Glad I found your post. Msg me or add me as a friend if you like.
Hope today is a good day for you. Mine is off to a good start. :-)

SherryP71561

I can totally relate to what you're saying Kim. I've been a binge/emotional eater most of my life and have only recently shared that side of myself with my husband. In the past fifteen years I've put on 40 pounds. I'm finally dealing with it head on and being honest with him. He asked me when I overeat/binge because he never sees it. All I told him was when I am alone...it's unbelievable how much food I can put away when he's in the shower for ten minutes...or when I get home from work and he's not there yet. Or when I'm driving home from the grocery store...I ate an entire package of cookies on my way home one day.

I cannot do this on my own. I'm seeing a fantastic Christian counselor and am strengthing my relationship with God. The closer I get to Him, the less powerful my cravings are.

But it is definitely one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time. I'm sitting here right now, an hour before leaving work and I have to stop at the grocery store, and I'm thinking about my favorite cookies again. I've been binge free for two days now, and am praying I get through a third.

heb12one

Eunie,
Way to go on the 2 day victory!!! I know you can make it through that 3rd day!

I too, only recently shared my struggle with my husband. It's no secret I've gained weight, but I don't think he realized exactly what I was doing. I've sat in my car many a day eating and 'sneaking' food. ridiculous amounts of ridiculous food. THe grocery store is the worst. So much temptation and opportunity there. I could go on and on. Ive even eaten an entire meal at one restaurant and then went to antoher for dessert. Unreal.

And like you, I am depending on God and am in a group to battle this fight that I'm in. I've battled it my whole life abd realize I cannot win this struggle myself, but know that with God, I can conquer anything. I also found an accountability partner, who is truly helping me. I have someone to answer to now, and even though I never thought that would make a difference bc i thoguht I'd just lie, I have found the strength to tell the truth and know that has to happen to move forward. I won't let my emotional overeating/binging/food issue to be a prison for me any longer.

I'd love to be a source of encouragement to either of you girls, or to anyone reading this who might ned it.

Thanks for shairng. :-)

dreamingchild

I'm going to disagree with some of the replies here (sorry people!). Don't try to stop it completely - you won't be able to anyway probably until you sort out the REASONS you're doing it.

Next time you want to eat the chocolate think about how you feel. What is making you feel this way? What are you thinking? It's your thoughts and feelings that are making you turn to food. This isn't bad or wrong - in fact it's perfectly normal behaviour! Food is your coping mechanism for the problems you have. Don't worry too much about eating at the moment - try to sort out your problems and then food will get back back into the right place in your life.

In the meantime make sure you're eating healthy meals, try to relax and do lots of inner searching. Be gentle on yourself and forgive yourself...

:-)

Agree with above.
I agree that you are feeling something and your way to not feel that way is to eat......
I was searching to see if there is an emotional eaters board/group because I need to talk to others who can relate to this!

I have an addictive personality. Over the last two days I have done things that I do when I am having feelings that I don't want to think about. It used to be that I wasn't even aware that I had a feeling. I just started doing my addictive things without any thought at all. Stuffing myself with food helps me not to feel anything....I feel numb actually and sometimes even my lips and tongue take on a numb feeling. Then immediately afterwards I go through a series of self bashing....like hatred of self and tell self what a bad person I am, a loser, etc etc. You get the idea. Which is followed by more addictive behaviors. I am at the point now, thanks to therapy for other addictive things, that I "catch" myself. For example, this weekend I had a phone call that was the trigger. I had a feeling that I immediately pushed out of my mind. (didn't even thing through this) Over the next two days I engaged in my favorite addictive things one of which is food. This led to me feeling like a very bad person. BUT all of a sudden on Sunday night it hit me that I need to talk to someone, hubby and tell him I'm not feeling very good about myself. As I started talking to him, it statrted to come together in my mind what was going on and I could see that it was the feelings from the phone call that started all this.

I hope to get to the point one day of realizing this sooner than 2 days later BUT there is hope! It is ok to feel what you feel.

I hope this helps someone in some way.

doh8302

I hope you have gotten the emotional eating under control. I too over eat when I am stressed. I go through cycles of craving sweet and salty treats. I buy crisper cracker (to replace my chips)-get the same result with far much less calories. For the sweet attacks I always have on hand sugar free jello (5 calories per cup). I used to fill up on raw vegetables at night but the caused alot of gas so I try to find better snacks that aren't loaded with fats and calories. It's basic will power which is really hard to over power but it is possible and there are bad days but don't get too down about.

seamaiden1000

Find more ways of deriving pleasure from life and living.

Establish a daily routine that is pleasurable and relaxing. This can range from a stroll around a pleasand neighbourhood to simply praying. Don't under estimate the power of prayer... a spiritual reaching out to that which is whole and good for strength and guidance, no matter what may come your way. It works for me...

Learn to switch off all the negative static in your head. Worrying doesn't solve anything. Attack your issues head on and constructively or if you cannot but are simply killing time in the hope your problems will go away then devote only a set time to worrying and spend the rest of the day figuring out ways to enrich your life according to your circumstances. Rediscover the joy of good people. Go to the public library and develop topics of interest and get a better perspective on things in general.

Find something that keeps your hands busy for when you get edgy. Perhaps knitting or crochet.. Or sketching and painting.

Be more generous! Seems hanging on to your chocolate is like hanging on to you issues. Learn to let go. Exhale. Then breath in , then exhale...

Learn to be in the moment. Loose yourself in whatever task you do, be it sweeping the floor or engaging in conversation. Learn to really listen to people, heart to heart. Active listening enriches your life as much as those around you.

Chocolate is addictive. For you it is not your friend. Find true friends and broaden your circle , in everything...

montana_girl

I have been dealing with emotional eating for the entire time I've been losing and maintaining my weight. For me, it's not something that I simple overcame. It's something I deal with on nearly a daily basis. I have also done all the tips and tricks. Occasionally they work, but more times than not, they don't. I found for me, the thing that helps the most is not have the junk/trigger foods in the house and I don't buy them and bring them home. I know, easier said than done...

I've found if I have healthier options to binge on, I still binge, but the calories are much lower. And when I do binge, I track it, forgive myself, and move.

Like I said, I still do a lot of emotional eating, but I've noticed I'm better able to handle it as time goes on and the episodes of binging are becoming less. I think acknowleging you have the problem and asking for help is definitely the step in the right direction.

Just hang in there, keep asking for help, and eventually you will learn a way to deal with it in your own way. Untill then... {{HUGS!!!}} and remember you are not alone. :flowerforyou:

cloud2011

I wouldn't feel right with just throwing it away. I am one of those people that hates wasting food. I don't even really know where it came from, but I can't stand the thought of throwing out food... I feel sooooo guilty. I have already talked with her about it being hard not to eat all of the chocolate and so she has taken a lot to work and I have given a lot to friends. But I still feel really guilty about spending all that money and then just giving it away. Part of it is really difficult too, because it makes me feel really scared and depressed to give it away; like once it is gone my security blanket isn't there anymore. It makes me sad that I have to give it away because I can't eat a normal portion of it. It is dumb because it is *just* food, but yet it has so much emotional control over me.

My friend put it this way to me once: why should you be the human trash can? Putting chocolate into your mouth, not because you enjoy it (I really do, I love chocolate) and because you feel GUILTY isn't fair to YOU. Now, if you're just enjoying it, that's totally different. But if you're eating it out of GUILT and then gaining weight, how is that okay?

As for your mother, you said something interesting...you were upset that she didn't eat the chocolate. Why? The chocolate is food, that can go in someone's mouth, a trash can, or anywhere else. But you're under no obligation to eat chocolate just because you bought it, or someone gave it to you as a gift. And, your mother is under no obligation to eat it, because you gave it to her, or asked her to store it for you.

elle18287

I know it is really difficult to not eat when you are feeling down and overwhelmed, but just try to tell yourself that eating, right after you are done, you will feel worse. Try to do a tough work out when this happens, knowing oyu will feel better right after!

jcstanton

I wouldn't feel right with just throwing it away. I am one of those people that hates wasting food. I don't even really know where it came from, but I can't stand the thought of throwing out food... I feel sooooo guilty. I have already talked with her about it being hard not to eat all of the chocolate and so she has taken a lot to work and I have given a lot to friends. But I still feel really guilty about spending all that money and then just giving it away. Part of it is really difficult too, because it makes me feel really scared and depressed to give it away; like once it is gone my security blanket isn't there anymore. It makes me sad that I have to give it away because I can't eat a normal portion of it. It is dumb because it is *just* food, but yet it has so much emotional control over me.

One thing that has helped me is keeping myself busy. I don't mean just going for a walk or something because you just think about food the whole time you're gone, then when you get home, you still want to eat. What I have done is I keep a list of chores and special projects. When I start feeling the urge to binge, I eat a HEALTHY snack like raw veggies or a piece of fresh fruit, then I go to my list and pick a task...preferably something that requires me to think about something other than food. Usually, by the time I finish that task I'm past the urge to eat. If I'm not, I simply choose another task. I also try to watch that show Man vs. Food at least once per week. Watching that guy stuff himself to the point of bursting, and seeing how miserable he is afterward, reminds me of what I feel like after I've overeaten on junk food. I don't want that feeling, so I think twice about pigging out.

Secondly, you've GOT to STOP thinking about it as wasting food! Junk food is not food in the sense that it does not help our bodies, it hurts our bodies. It's like poison to your system. If your food had been tainted with some kind of poison (household chemical, antifreeze, etc...), you wouldn't keep eating it would you? Well, junk food is bad for you, too. It's not a waste to throw it away, it's a waste to buy it in the first place.

Mrsjenningsjr

I just recently overcame emotional eating...I didn't do it with therapy or anything like that. I simply told myself two things.

1. "My problem" would really like to see me eat junk, it wants the worst for me.
2. I will eat what I know I should, first, and if I'm not satisfied, I will allow myself to eat what I crave.

The "My problem" is whatever the reason is that is making you feel the way you do (i.e. my boss, my man, my financial struggles etc.). When we deprive ourselves we only want that thing more. Remember, you are your truest friend. Tell yourself, you will FIRST eat what's good, healthy etc., and if you're still not satified you will allow yourself to eat some of what you're craving.

It's work for me...I think it will work for you. Try it.

KattKitty

I believe that a majority of MY emotional eating is a control issue. I wish I could tell you how to overcome it, but I can not. I can, however, make a few points that may or may not help. I am a RULE FOLLOWER, but if someone tells me that I CAN'T do something, you had better believe that it burns my butt and it is written in my DNA to "prove them wrong". That is why I do not use words such as diet and cheating when it comes to my health plan. I find myself in a much better place when I release myself from the death grip of those mindsets.

I don't know what your religious affiliation is, but I feel the need to touch on the Spiritual aspect of things to address the GUILT. I am sorry if this bothers or offends. Romans 8 in the Bible is a great chapter of hope in this area. It starts off telling us that there is no condemnation in Christ and ends with the fact that we are more than conquerors. The chapter before it, though, covers the war that wages within our spirits. It is written by the Apostle Paul (the man who wrote nearly 2/3 of the New Testament and started his journey as a persecutor of Christ). In about verse 15, Paul goes into depth about how he wants to do what he knows is right BUT ends up doing the exact opposite. His struggles mirror those of the emotional eater.

Ours is a battle that goes way beyond whether or not to throw away chocolate. I believe that we are all born with the propensity toward certain negative/destructive behaviors (drinking, drugs, stealing, anger, overeating, etc) that will follow us throughout life. We can either give in to them and live life in defeat OR take each battle as it comes and hopefully, one day, gain victory.

Food may lead to a slower destruction than some of the others, but it is just as real, and you can't quit food "cold turkey". It is necessary for survival. Chocolate is NOT the enemy, and when I deny myself, I always go back to the original sin. A woman was told that she couldn't eat something in particular, and she gave in to the temptation. Plain and simple-- Hopefully, this wasn't just rhetoric for you. I have to go so I can't review what I've written. Fight the good fight!!!!! Run as if to win the race (1 Corinthians 7: something).

StrongerJess

Bump to read later

SherryP71561

Thanks so much for the reference in Romans KatKitty. I also struggle with emotional binge eating and my faith is my #1 priority to get me through. I will definitely be reviewing that chapter in the Bible. Thanks again!

wildcata77

First, throw out the chocolate!

Next, set a food budget and only use CASH for it. If you know you only have $100 a week to spend on food, head to the grocery store at the beginning of the week and stock up on both stuff to take for lunch and snacks. I wish I could stay away from processed food, but what works for me is replacing stuff I know I get cravings for with substitutes that truly work...like those 90-cal Nature's Valley squares dipped in chocolate would be a reasonable substitute for a candy bar.

I also love raw veggies and hummus, and greek yogurt. Just experiment until you find stuff that works for what you usually crave.

Gum works for me...for some reason I am more likely to drink water if I have a peppermint or spearmint gum in my mouth, so that helps.

I also bring a book to work and go outside and read after I get dojne with lunch...helps keep me from wanting to down something sweet right after I eat.

The most important thing is just planning what you will try when those cravings hit! And getting rid of your normal triggers. For instance, if we have stuff to make S'mores in the house I WILL make a microwave S'more every night until it's gone. So we don't buy them.

If you truly feel that you cannot overcome this addiction yourself, consider some medical intervention. I take low-dose Prozac for depression/PMDD, and actually find that it decreases my need to snack. Anti-anxiety meds or seeing a hypnotist could also help for someone that is truly suffering an addiction that they feel they cannot overcome on their own. Good luck with your journey!

patchesgizmo

get the bad food out of where you are living. To me if it is in the vicinity I will eat it because I fixate on it. Throw it away, give it away just get it out of the house! I crave it so bad myself, but if I want it I have to leave my house to get it, and I won't let myself do that. At work it is harder because there is a candy machine on my floor and a cafeteria in the building.

Each day is a struggle, I have yet to overcome, but for every peice of chocolate you want, eat a grape or an orange or a banana or something else. That is what I am currently trying and it seems to help.

Good luck

Teresa

ShilohMaier

I have not read everyone's response to this posting, but I'm pretty sure I might be offering you a different insight into this problem. I was having some SERIOUS food addiction/emotional eating problems. The first thing I decided to think about was the "emotional" part of "emotional eating". I recognized that my emotions were eratic, and I was alwasy feeling anxious and just plain "off" all the time. The only thing that kept me feeling calm was chocolate/sweets. It was a definite addiction cycle, because as soon as the insulin inevitably crashed, I was having to stuff my face with chocolate again to maintain normalcy. So I thought about what might be making me anxious. And you know what? The only thing making me anxious was the chocolate- the constant thinking of it, the guilt of eating it, the inability to NOT eat it. So I talked to my doctor, we went over the way I felt physically and emotionally during these intense periods of anxiety & craving. Ran some blood work... realized I was seriously insulin resistant from PCO. Oh yeah, and I'm hypothyroid. Nice. But I also had answers to my weight and emotional problems.

Insulin and thyroid are pretty key hormones. They effect everything from mood to weight. My body was experiencing some severe adrenal fatigue from all of my hormones being so out of whack. Once I got on meds for my thyroid and insulin, everything changed. I don't even think about sweets, even if I see a huge box of donuts. Sometimes I think "yeah, some chocolate sounds good"... but it's not a consuming drive. I'll eat a couple of bites, and do the most amazing thing- I wrap up the rest and put it in my desk drawer and forget it's even there!!!

Talk to your doctor. Tell him how you're feeling. And something else that helped me- regarding KattKitty's posting, if you're so inclined, read The Weigh Down Diet. I will not get into it here, because I know faith being discussed in an open post is frowned upon on this site, but if you want to chat about it feel free to message me.