Need Advice from someone with kids!

fteale

Honestly, pregnancy will just make you gain all the weight back. I would have another baby now eat healthily in pregnancy, then start really working on the weight loss after.

janahc09

I have a sister who is quite a few years older than me, and I really don't want my kids to be as far apart as we were. Thank yall for all your opinions! It's given me a lot to think about.

karen0214

Certainly it is all up to you and your husband. But, here's my 2 cents worth: I have 6 children and they are all 2 1/2 - 3 yrs apart, except the last two were twins (surprise!!). I always went back to within 10 lbs of my pre-pregnant weight in between the babies and that felt pretty good. I think for me, I just needed to feel good about myself again each time, and I also needed the time to let my body recover. I also think that it would be kind of miserable to be many lbs overweight and pregnant at the same time because both of these conditions just make it plain hard to get around sometimes. Also, pregnancy can cause other health issues sometimes and so the better health you are in going into the pregnancy, the better off you and baby will be. However, you might do well and continue to lose weight or just maintain while you are pregnant, and that would be good, too.

I do agree with one other person who posted that it's easier on you to have your first child be around 3 yrs old when the next one comes along. And, if possible, have the first one potty trained. I had my first two in diapers at the same time (only for about four months, though) and then when I had my twins I had three in diapers at the same time because my 2 1/2 yr old was not yet potty trained when the twins cam along. Oh my, I am glad I don't have to relive those days!! LOL!!

I wish you and your husband all the best as you plan and grow your family.

mattelfaige

there is no right or wrong to this question. at the weight of 135 you will need to gain 20-25 pounds at least during pregnancy. at 180 if im not mistaken you can work on gaining only 10 pounds or maintaining your 180 weight during pregnancy as long as your dyoing it the healthy weight. as too wether you want another baby right now is your desition. my son is just turned two i know the decition is hard to make

mrs_deg1983

There might not be anyone else in my situation or who have gone through the same thing, but I'll try anyway...

My husband and I have a 19, almost 20, month old son. We are considering adding to our family. I have about 24 pounds to lose before I will feel comfortable even trying for another child. That would put me at 180 pounds. This isn't really a question, so much as just asking for another opinion..Would I wait until I am at my goal weight (135)? I told my husband that it would take me atleast another year to get to my goal weight and he said he's not sure he wants to wait that long to have another baby. Do I wait until I get to 180 and get pregnant, then lose the baby weight, then get to my goal weight from there? Or do I wait until I'm already at my goal weight, get pregnant, lose the baby weight, then just work on maintaining? Any input is appreciated! Thanks!

i lost 30 lb right before i became prago. The doctor told me not to worry if i gain all that back in the 9 months. Yeah i was shocked!
You got guts girl my daughter will be 4 in sept and i have one coming in July and i feel its still too close. lol

mrs_deg1983

there is no right or wrong to this question. at the weight of 135 you will need to gain 20-25 pounds at least during pregnancy. at 180 if im not mistaken you can work on gaining only 10 pounds or maintaining your 180 weight during pregnancy as long as your dyoing it the healthy weight. as too wether you want another baby right now is your desition. my son is just turned two i know the decition is hard to make

i was told 15 but close enough

BeautifulKristen

To be honest I would have a kid before you start working out. because if you have a baby you would have to do ALL the work again to get rid of your baby fat.. Unless you don't gain a lot of weight during pregnancy

naivenitara

Compromise is good, but most importantly do what works best for you and your body. You're the one who has to carry a new baby plus the weight not your hubby so you've got to do what's right for you! Good luck!

rextcat

its what ever YOU want to do, after all its not him growing a person in there now is it?

kdeaux1959

That is really a decision that you and your husband must make. I will say that timing sometimes is not left to us on such matters. Make sure that you have the proper balance between age at conception and weight at conception.

ChantalGG

i was small when i first got pregnant and gained 65 lbs i have big friends who seem to gain only 5 to 15lbs. If you eat healthy and stay active you may not gain much at all and after you have the next start working it off. BTW breast feeding is a great way to drop lbs quickly.

NoAdditives

For us, the age gap was a big deal. We knew we wanted our kids close in age, so we had them without worrying about my weight. I wasn't thrilled to be overweight while pregnant, but creating our family was more important than me being at my ideal weight.

abigailmariecs

When I was pregnant with my first I only gained 12lbs and I had a 8lb 12oz healthy baby girl. I ate healthy, much healthier then I had been and was drinking tons of water. I was also working in a restaurant for 8-12 hours a day. I loved being pregnant with my daughter it was so easy. When I left the hospital after having her I weighed 10lbs less then my starting weight. My son on the other hand was completely different. First off I ended up pregnant a LOT sooner than I wanted, my daughter was 4 months old. By the middle of my second trimester I refused to look at the scale (I had already gained 25lbs). I use to close my eyes and tell her I did not want to know, I was sick constantly and refuse to dry heave so I kept stuffing food down so when I got sick there was something there. Big mistake. 2 days after I left the hospital I finally weighed myself I was 30lbs heavier then when I started. It did not help that my exercise level went from daily at the restaurant to almost nothing as I did not return to work. My daughter will be 2 in July and my son will be 1 in August. We are trying for #3 now and when I do get pregnant I will be tracking calories and my first OB appointment I will be asking about total number of calories and the appropriate exercise levels since I don't want to end up there again.

I would/am going for the baby now and will be continuing to work towards losing weight until I have confirmation of pregnancy. At which point I will go with what the doctor recommends.

Timkoetta

I would check with a doctor to make sure your weight does not put you in any danger if you become pregnant. If he/she gives you the ok they I say get pregnant now and then work on really losing weight and toning up that tummy.

Besides, just because you are pregnant doesn't mean you can not do some of the super cool mommy workouts and eat healthy. Being pregnant just gives you another reason to live a healthy lifestyle. Do not try any "diets" of course. Just be healthy, and after the baby comes step up your exercise and drop the calories.

Good luck to you. :flowerforyou:

wackyfunster

Drop at least enough to be at a healthy weight for the baby first.

If you breast feed, you are hugely hormonally advantaged when it comes to weight loss. In addition to burning an additional 300-500 calories/day, you will be able to lose weight from hips/thighs easily, which is normally damn near impossible for most women (the reason it's so hard is because your body is biologically wired to store fat there for breast milk production, so while you are nursing, it is much more easily mobilized).

So it is theoretically easier to lose weight after the baby is born (breast feeding is basically natures way of removing any fat accumulated during pregnancy). On the other hand, there is the whole not sleeping thing (we just had another one, and he is 1-month right now... the most amazingly adorable little guy ever, but I swear he can detect if my wife and I are ever trying to sleep at the same time...)

Just my 2c... make of it what you will

NavyKnightAh13

I would say check with your doctor first. Reason I say that, I found out I was pregnant in June of last yr, and the month before, I weighed 243, weight dropped down to 225, and then dropped down to 220 and through out the pregnancy jumped between 217 to 219 (the doctors couldn't understand why i never gained any weight). I think part of it was that i stayed active especially walking. After our son was born in jan, i dropped to 204 and have bounced between 198 and 205 with middle ground at 200lbs. I know personally i wouldn't be up for having another kid right now, or ever again, but i would say continue eating healthy and walk if you decide to have another baby!

mamakira

That is up to you.
Just think, you can´t plan on having a baby in one year or when you have a certain weight. If you really wish for another one, go for it. If not, wait.
Babys are gifts and they can´t be planned. Maybe you are lucky and get pregnant then, maybe not.

JmeHarris

You should never let your weight control your choices. Do you want another baby? Then have another baby. Who knows what tomorrow holds. Putting your happiness on hold because of your weight is a bad idea. What if it takes you longer than you planned? Or what if you never make it to that ideal weight? (Not that I want to jinx you or anything, I'm just saying what if?) Will you never have that second baby because you're still waiting for that number on the scale?

Besides, your Doc will tell you that you can be pregnant and still diet so long as your sensible about it.

ShrinkRapt451

Having read every response, it's obvious that despite some common threads, everyone's experience is a little different.

As a doc, here's my advice: talk to your OB/GYN. There are pros and cons to getting pregnant at your current weight, for you and baby. Make your own decision, but not exclusively based on anecdotes from a bunch of other women. Get expert medical advice from a doc who knows you.

Things to consider: you can definitely continue to exercise if pregnant. Overweight/obese women shouldn't gain as much (recommendation is 10-15 lbs). You are at higher risk for trouble conceiving, gestational diabetes, etc., the heavier you are. No matter how much you gain during pregnancy, most women lose 20-30 lbs within a couple weeks of delivery. Also, I don't know how far apart you and your sib are, but my kids are 4.5 years apart and it's been a blessing so far. My oldest would not have done well with a younger sib when she was 2-3 years old. I did fine with a younger sib 3 years apart. Timing for sib compatibility should take into account your child's temperament, if you can. (Though sometimes you can't. I got pregnant with my first on the first try. #2 took 18 months to conceive. So much for planning....)

AmyG17

Hi! I so know what you mean!! I have two kiddos. When I had my first I put on 45lbs oh yeah...45!! I breast feed her and lost most of it except for 15lb then when she stopped nursing at 12 month I put on another 15 lb. I never lost that weight as much as I tried as a new mommy it was really hard for me to find the time. Then we had our son 3 yrs later. I was really scared too because this was the biggest I had ever been and I knew I was going to pack on the weight again I gained 25 lbs when I was pregnant with my son and again This time I had lost all the weight I had put on with him form breast feeding him. Once he stopped nursing I knew I would put on more weight if I didnt take the time and workout and watch what I ate. So I stared to run/walk three time a wk, it was really hard at first because of the guilt I had about leaving the babies but I would come back a better mother and wife. I now run 1/2 marathons I am now at my 'unrealistic' goal weight of 135 I never thought I could reach this weight let alone in my thirties! I havent weight this since I was 13 Long story short Even if you dont get this extra weight off before baby 2 comes you still have time after, but that the key....Take time for yourself too. It can be so hard as mommies to fine that time. You so got this!! Dont worry!

karen0214

Hi! I so know what you mean!! I have two kiddos. When I had my first I put on 45lbs oh yeah...45!! I breast feed her and lost most of it except for 15lb then when she stopped nursing at 12 month I put on another 15 lb. I never lost that weight as much as I tried as a new mommy it was really hard for me to find the time. Then we had our son 3 yrs later. I was really scared too because this was the biggest I had ever been and I knew I was going to pack on the weight again I gained 25 lbs when I was pregnant with my son and again This time I had lost all the weight I had put on with him form breast feeding him. Once he stopped nursing I knew I would put on more weight if I didnt take the time and workout and watch what I ate. So I stared to run/walk three time a wk, it was really hard at first because of the guilt I had about leaving the babies but I would come back a better mother and wife. I now run 1/2 marathons I am now at my 'unrealistic' goal weight of 135 I never thought I could reach this weight let alone in my thirties! I havent weight this since I was 13 Long story short Even if you dont get this extra weight off before baby 2 comes you still have time after, but that the key....Take time for yourself too. It can be so hard as mommies to fine that time. You so got this!! Dont worry!

Amy, what a great post. Congrats on all that you have achieved. You sound like a great mom and you've done a great job getting healthy.

crrc78

I'm in almost the same position - on the day I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, I also hit my 10% weight loss with WW. I never really got to celebrate all of my hard work, but I was much healthier for my pregnancy and only gained 18 lbs during my pregnancy and never felt better. Within 3 weeks of my c-section, I had lost all 18, plus 5 more pounds, basically bringing me back to my 10% loss weight. However... over the past 3 years, I've gained it ALL back and have been really struggling to get the weight off. My ob-gyn suggested I try to lose 20 lbs before getting pregnant again, but it's been a year of trying to lose this weight and my daughter is almost 4... I think we're going to bite the bullet and just start trying anyway because while I'm overweight, I'm also healthy. We don't want such a huge age gap between the kids, so I think it's better to start trying, BUT ALSO keep trying to lose the weight, stay active and just be healthy.

urbanitylifestyle

I would try to find a happy medium. If your not comfortable getting pregnant at your current weight, get a little more toned, then work on getting pregnant. Once youve had your second child, then focus on getting your body back to the weight you prefer.

VoiceOfTrenton

You know your body better than anyone, but I will suggest the following (and you can take it with a proverbial grain of salt):

- Be sure your weight loss goal is reasonable before you look at anything else
- Give yourself a bit of slack when it comes to family--because remember, you're supposed to take on weight during pregnancy to help with the baby's development...if you do get pregnant, just accept that your goals are changed or on hold for a bit. You'll get there, you just might be waiting to tackle it.
- The important thing if you do decide to get pregnant before reaching your original goal is simply to find a weight that you're comfortable with...and not have any anxiety if you don't quite get there, because babies don't keep to your timetable.
- Most importantly, develop and keep good eating (and sleep!) habits. It's not just for the baby, it's because when you spend enough time following good habits, they become automatic...and thus losing post-pregnancy weight the next time around will be easier.
- Stay active as much as you can, even if in that third trimester it's more about a slow daily walk.

lionuff

I am mother of one. I personally would look at losing weight as one thing and having another child as a separate issue. If you want to have another child then just have another child. That is as long as your weight is not interfering. What I mean by that is to ask yourself these questions: Is the weight that you’re currently at affecting the child that you already currently have? Is it heard for you to keep up with him or do things with him because of your weight and or size? If it is in my opinion you should wait until you’re at a weight or size that will not affect your child. If your weight and or size does not affect your son then I say why not have another child now. This is all my opinion and I am not the one who has to live in your shoes. You have to do what makes you happy. Losing weight is something I personally have been working on now for years. I personally think that you have already made a huge step realizing and admitting that you need to lose weight and are working on it. If everyone who was over weight in the United States alone did not have children then there would be a lot less children.

2010 State Obesity Rates
State % State % State % State %
Alabama 32.2 Illinois 28.2 Montana 23.0 Rhode Island 25.5
Alaska 24.5 Indiana 29.6 Nebraska 26.9 South Carolina 31.5
Arizona 24.3 Iowa 28.4 Nevada 22.4 South Dakota 27.3
Arkansas 30.1 Kansas 29.4 New Hampshire 25.0 Tennessee 30.8
California 24.0 Kentucky 31.3 New Jersey 23.8 Texas 31.0
Colorado 21.0 Louisiana 31.0 New Mexico 25.1 Utah 22.5
Connecticut 22.5 Maine 26.8 New York 23.9 Vermont 23.2
Delaware 28.0 Maryland 27.1 North Carolina 27.8 Virginia 26.0
District of Columbia 22.2 Massachusetts 23.0 North Dakota 27.2 Washington 25.5
Florida 26.6 Michigan 30.9 Ohio 29.2 West Virginia 32.5
Georgia 29.6 Minnesota 24.8 Oklahoma 30.4 Wisconsin 26.3
Hawaii 22.7 Mississippi 34.0 Oregon 26.8 Wyoming 25.1
Idaho 26.5 Missouri 30.5 Pennsylvania 28.6

There were 4,136,000 births in 2009.[78]

So this means a lot of overweight women are having children.

carolann_22

I would not wait - After two "second try was the charm" pregnancies, I suffered from secondary infertility when TTC my third, due to PCOS and it took me 2 years to conceive again. I would try to concieve now, and make sure to be as healthy as you can through the process - who knows how long it will take. You may make goal before you get pregnant again, you may conceive right away, either way you have a healthy eating foundation prior.

ETA: I had been on a weight loss/medication routine for 6 months after being diagnosed with PCOS when I finally got pregnant, and I think because I knew how to eat for my condition and was making better choices I only gained 18 pounds with that pregnancy (gained 70 and 50 with the other two, even working with a nutritionist, because my medical condition wasn't known) and had lost it all by the time I got home from the hospital (9.5 lb baby, at LEAST 9 pounds of fluid).

FitMama2013

I was in a similar situation this year - started MFP last July at 239, lost down to around 200 by October, and then struggled from there on out. I wanted to be 150 prior to TTC, but also didn't want to put my family on hold. I did my best, but my husband and I decided to TTC in May even though I still weighed around 200 and I'm now pregnant.

I look at it this way - I've learned how to eat, and I plan to manage my weight as best I can during pregnancy so after the baby is born I can hopefully continue to work on weight loss.

You need to go based off how comfortable you are - I found that I put alot of pressure on myself to lose the weight first and that ended up making it harder in the end. So what if you were to say "I will do my best to lose weight, but we plan to start TTC after Christmas" or something like that. So, no goal number, but just do your best and see what happens. That way you don't put too much pressure on yourself!

mommyred35

I wouldn't think waiting would be necesary. You are in the habit of healthy eating now, which is great for pregnancy. Shoot after I had my babies I breastfed and the weight melted off!

This^^^^^^^ if you breastfeed it does seem to melt. I wish I had been able to to it linger. I have a 4 yo son, 20 month daughter and a 2 month old daughter.

AmyG17

Hi! I so know what you mean!! I have two kiddos. When I had my first I put on 45lbs oh yeah...45!! I breast feed her and lost most of it except for 15lb then when she stopped nursing at 12 month I put on another 15 lb. I never lost that weight as much as I tried as a new mommy it was really hard for me to find the time. Then we had our son 3 yrs later. I was really scared too because this was the biggest I had ever been and I knew I was going to pack on the weight again I gained 25 lbs when I was pregnant with my son and again This time I had lost all the weight I had put on with him form breast feeding him. Once he stopped nursing I knew I would put on more weight if I didnt take the time and workout and watch what I ate. So I stared to run/walk three time a wk, it was really hard at first because of the guilt I had about leaving the babies but I would come back a better mother and wife. I now run 1/2 marathons I am now at my 'unrealistic' goal weight of 135 I never thought I could reach this weight let alone in my thirties! I havent weight this since I was 13 Long story short Even if you dont get this extra weight off before baby 2 comes you still have time after, but that the key....Take time for yourself too. It can be so hard as mommies to fine that time. You so got this!! Dont worry!

Amy, what a great post. Congrats on all that you have achieved. You sound like a great mom and you've done a great job getting healthy.

AmyG17

Thank you for your kind words! You made my day :happy: