To tell or not to tell

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  • slimmingmom
    slimmingmom Posts: 297
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    My husband knows how much I weigh becuase i've told him how big of a deal it's going to be to me when I get back into the 200s! He's with me at most all of my Monday weigh ins too. All the past times where i've tried to get this weight off, he was the one to say...you want soda, cake, junk, junk, junk??? And this time I told him it's different! Every week when I weigh in he knows how hard I worked for each one of those ounces to LEAVE! So when he thinks about offering me junk, he knows better becuase he knows how hard i've been working!
  • slimmingmom
    slimmingmom Posts: 297
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    My husband knows how much I weigh becuase i've told him how big of a deal it's going to be to me when I get back into the 200s! He's with me at most all of my Monday weigh ins too. All the past times where i've tried to get this weight off, he was the one to say...you want soda, cake, junk, junk, junk??? And this time I told him it's different! Every week when I weigh in he knows how hard I worked for each one of those ounces to LEAVE! So when he thinks about offering me junk, he knows better becuase he knows how hard i've been working!

    :laugh: I meant back into the 100s (out of the 200s!)
  • kellygirl5538
    kellygirl5538 Posts: 597 Member
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    Yeah, weight is just a number, I tell people how much i weigh and they cannot believe I weight that much. Just gotta feel healthy
  • laura11248
    laura11248 Posts: 49 Member
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    OK...My hubby knows how much I weigh not because I came clean but rather I had an accident in my backyard...fell and broke my ankle in 3 places and needed to tell the emt how much I weighed to get pain meds. That was not a time to fib at all!

    I was embarassed and wanted to crawl into a hole! After 2 surgeries...I am now able to move without pain and get healthy!

    The bottom line is...he still loves me as our relationship never changed from him knowing the number. He is super supportive and the best cheerleader!
  • Sparksfly
    Sparksfly Posts: 470 Member
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    My bf is cluelesssssssss when we went to get my Drivers licence my license said 135. My bf was like whoa you weigh 135???? I would have never guessed that...

    I actually weigh around 20 lbs more than 135. haha if he thinks I look like I weigh less than 135 then great!!!!!!!
  • amymeenieminymo
    amymeenieminymo Posts: 2,394 Member
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    My boyfriend knows what my starting weight was, but he really had to promise not to judge before I told him....and it's quite embarrasing that at the time we were within 15 pounds of each other.....and he is MUCH taller than me and a rather big guy, so I was mortified to weigh almost the same.

    But he never made fun of me or made me feel bad about it.....he always encourages my weightloss and tells me how great I am looking. In fact, I was a little nervous about losing weight because I always knew he didn't like skinny girls. I was afraid if I became one, he would stop being attracted to me.

    But he says I look great and he will love me just as much at 150 as he did at 216. It's up to you if you want to tell, but I don't think he'll think any different of you. He can see you, he knows how you look and he loves you and thinks your beautiful I'm sure, so a number isn't going to change that. Besides, he doesn't seem to be pestering you to know what you weigh.

    BTW, since I have gone down 40 pounds, my boyfriend went up about 20 :grumble: , but at least were no where near the same weight anymore.
  • shannahrenee
    shannahrenee Posts: 380
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    My boyfriend asked me how much I weighed a few months ago and I told him that there's no way I'd tell him. (that's when I weighed more than him). Now that I'm just below his weight I feel better about him knowing. Guys really are clueless about women's weights. I feel like you should tell him though because that way he can celebrate with you when you do lose all of it. He'll probably get pretty close to figuring out when he finds out how much you've lost anyway. I think you should be honest with him, I think it will bring you closer.
  • pattitricia85
    pattitricia85 Posts: 376
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    i don't tell my husband how much i weigh. i know it wouldn't matter, but i don't tell anyone how much i weigh. Only people who look at my medical records know. I weigh heavy even though i am a size 6. Its up to you, I totally see both sides. I just tell my hubby how much i have lost. He is very excited for me and supportive. He is a gentleman and never asks! lol!!
  • almond13
    almond13 Posts: 77
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    The BF and I got into the weight convo about a month ago when I told him I wasnted to lose weight and he thought I was CRAZY:noway: he said "why do you want to lose weight, what are you like 120lbs" ... :laugh: righttt... So I told him my actual weight and he didn't believe me and so I jumped on the scale to prove it to him... and he siad "wow... you weigh more than me" ... :laugh: he did't say it as an insult... he just had NO CLUE what I weighed... hahahah. Guys have no idea... tell him if you feel like it but either way it doesn't mean a thing to them... :flowerforyou:
  • beckyi88
    beckyi88 Posts: 604
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    I've been married for 21 years and I've NEVER told my husband how much I weigh. It's part of why I made a conscious decision to *OUT* myself on this board and create a weight loss ticker with my weight on it. But, my husband still hasn't seen it! LOL!
  • stef_e_b
    stef_e_b Posts: 593
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    My bf knows my weight and then knowing the numbers he really wanted to help me more then just saying "oh honey you don't need to lose weight." It helped me to tell him too because I was in quite a bit of denial.
  • JStarnes
    JStarnes Posts: 5,576 Member
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    Am I really the only guy to reply to this one???

    Anyway, we don't care about the number. Think about what you said, "I don't want him to know I got this fat" ?????????

    Really?? He can SEE how fat you got, obviously he doesn't care about that. You telling him the number doesn't change what you look like. Men are visual beings (like someone else said) so you can tell him you weigh 400 pounds, he will look at you, say to himself "well, she still looks the same" and not give a rat's butt.

    And ladies, men are clueless, like you said, because we really don't give a crap about the number. If we wanted to know, we would find out :glasses: :happy:

    :happy: listen to him ladies - he's right. IMO. my hubs always guesses WAY higher than i am :tongue: i dont' mind telling him what i weigh...i figure if he doesn't ''know'' the number, he can "tell" in other areas of the relationship if my weight has gone up or down.. lol :wink:
  • thumper44
    thumper44 Posts: 1,464 Member
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    I was having a talk with my bf about my weight loss and what my final goal is, I was telling him I wasn't sure what my actual goal is and that I might just figure it out when I get a little closer. So he was talking about well in a few pounds when your down to like 170 or so, you'll probably have a better idea...... Oh boy umm when I'm 170 in a few pounds?? I'm 210 lbs!! HE obviously has no clue how much I weigh and now I'm wondering if I should tell him or not.
    We are very open and he's been so very supportive of me trying to get healthy so I know he wouldn't judge me and it could help to have him know exactly how big of a deal all of it is and how much I really have to lose.
    But then part of me never wants him to know I got this fat!!!!! Would you tell him?

    Am I really the only guy to reply to this one???

    Anyway, we don't care about the number. Think about what you said, "I don't want him to know I got this fat" ?????????

    Really?? He can SEE how fat you got, obviously he doesn't care about that. You telling him the number doesn't change what you look like. Men are visual beings (like someone else said) so you can tell him you weigh 400 pounds, he will look at you, say to himself "well, she still looks the same" and not give a rat's butt.

    And ladies, men are clueless, like you said, because we really don't give a crap about the number. If we wanted to know, we would find out :glasses: :happy:

    I agree, we have no clue.
    I think being honest with your other half is better, we won't care of the number, we want you to be healthy.
    On the other side of teh coin.
    SOME men....... I do say SOME, because not all men think like this.
    If they see you hiding something like a weight number from them.. They might wonder if your hiding anything else ?
  • Daisy_May
    Daisy_May Posts: 505 Member
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    Well it's settled, I dont' think I'll be telling him! Last night we were watching much to love and I made a comment on how one of the girls didn't look fat and he was all "honey she ways over 200lbs of course she is!!" so ya I think I won't be telling him until I'm way into the 180's if I tell him at all.
    He was totally trying to figure it out though, he was asking me quaestions about how much I weighed when we met and stuff so I just said, 18lbs less then I do now:laugh:
    I dont' know whether it's a good or bad thing that he couldn't tell the differnce between me then or when I was at my heavist 35lbs later.
  • Hannah_Banana
    Hannah_Banana Posts: 1,242 Member
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    Here's the thing - if you look around the 170s to him, that won't change if he finds out how much you REALLY weigh. He will still SEE the same thing, some number doesn't mean anything to him. The concept of what '210lbs' looks like is not what people REALLY think it looks like. They have done polls and weight is an extremely misunderstood concept in this country. They put up a woman who was about 165lbs (a little chubby, but not 'FAT') and people would guess her at 135. To Americans, anything over 125 is grossly obese, even though there are a lot of supermodels who weigh more than that. :laugh:
  • Leigh14
    Leigh14 Posts: 871 Member
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    I was reading through this. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and he doesn't know what I weigh. He weighs 270. I used to weigh 280, but I'm down to 244. After reading this, I was curious to know what he thinks I weigh... so, I texted him and he said.................

    195. :noway: :noway: :noway: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • thumper44
    thumper44 Posts: 1,464 Member
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    I was reading through this. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and he doesn't know what I weigh. He weighs 270. I used to weigh 280, but I'm down to 244. After reading this, I was curious to know what he thinks I weigh... so, I texted him and he said.................

    195. :noway: :noway: :noway: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Not to say anything against your b/f's response, but in general.

    Some men know, that when/if we do guess. We HAVE to under estimate what we might think.:blushing:
    Many, Many men have pissed off their spouse because they estimated on the heavy side.

    Men will think about a weight, and then subtract extra to be on the safe side and try and stay out of the doghouse.:laugh: :drinker:
  • angl
    angl Posts: 188
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    Ive been married 33 years and our whole relationship is about telling the truth.
    And now you have him wondering and guessing. I would tell him if he wants to know. He will be more supportive if he knows the TRUTH.
    BE TRUE TO YOURSELF AND HIM.
    angl:bigsmile:
  • JStarnes
    JStarnes Posts: 5,576 Member
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    wow - congrats on 33 years!!! :flowerforyou: someone to look up to!! i'm just 3 years in lol :tongue:
  • kankan213
    kankan213 Posts: 105
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    I.... LIE!
    I tell everyone I weigh 125. :) I will eventually...lol

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