Nobody noticed ...

verptwerp

[/quote]
" ........ same with pregnancy. I refuse to acknowledge a woman's pregnancy unless I see a head emerging" .....
[/quote]

ROFL ...... ain't that the truth !

BringingSherriBack

You are doing fantastic!!! Congrats on your terrific loss!
I have this problem, too. I haven't decided if some people were just obvious to how big I was or if they hate to say anything about someone losing weight.
I don't see my in-laws very often and last time I saw them I had lost about 50 pounds. Not a word from either of them about looking good, having lost weight, nothing. Other people were definitely noticing and commenting, but not them. They didn't know I had been losing weight because my husband never told them and I very rarely talk to them over the phone and it's not something I would tell them over the phone anyway.
Anyway, they are coming next week and now I am down 89 pounds so let's see if they notice and comment this time.
Now some people that I don't see that often and who haven't commented when I did see them, I just thought well maybe they didn't see me at my heaviest, although I had been about 325 pounds for 2-3 years before surgery.
Don't let your self-esteem be determined by how many people notice and comment on your progress. You know how far you have come and that is what counts.
Best of luck with your journey!
Hugs!
Sherri

verptwerp

These were your friends ? And not one of them asked you "what's new ?" I understand that sometimes discussing weight can be filled with landmines ...... but really ?

Just keep on truckin' and those people won't even recognize you at the next get-together ..... congrats & enjoy your life

barbjmcg

Im sorry to add, when my sister in law lost a lot of weight I failed to notice. I think it is because I never looked at her weight so it didnt matter to me whether she was overweight or not. I never scanned her body for weight loss. That is probably what happened with your friends. I try to be more considerate these days. Nowadays I notice when friends have changed and comment about it and they are always very happy when I do. Also since I am now losing some weight I cant wait until people actually notice.

abberbabber

Sometimes people hesitate to mention a weight loss. They don't want you to think that they thought you were fat before. That was a mouthful. You've accomplished a lot; don't let anyone's silence steal your victory!

This ^^^ I thought my dad and his girlfriend didn't notice, but after my aunt mentioned it, they both chimed in with how great I looked. I think they just weren't sure how to bring it up. Don't let it get you down, you're doing great!!!

Suzylicious

I know how you feel. I was 220 lbs, dropped weight and nobody said anything until I lost close to 60 lbs. And then after 70 lbs everybody started worrying I loose too much. I got comments like you are skinny enough now. Just keep going. You are doing awesome.

ARGH!!! This happened to me, too.... Before I had my first daughter - I had 20 lbs of what I would consider "extra weight" on me from a "lovely" summer of working at a grocery store deli (think lots of fried goods). I am 5'10 with skinny skinny bones so any extra weight hangs - blech - not really noticeable clothed but not the prettiest in a bikini! Then I gained 70 plus pounds when I was pregnant (so now was over 200 lbs). Yep, not a "little" pregnant person by any means. After I had my lovely (and now 15 year old), and my dr ok'd for me to start working out - I realized that I had to do something. So I started working out - 5 days a week, 1 hour a day and started really watching what I ate (no calorie counters at that time, we barely had the internet) and after about 10 months - I finally lost it all including that pesky 20 pounds gained from the fateful summer! Now keep in mind I was not only still within what's considered healthy for my BMI (albeit on the low end) but the weight I had been since puberty and the deli!

The whole time I was working so hard and not one of my "friends" said ANYTHING - til I lost that final 20. When I got down to what I (and my Dr!) considered my "ideal weight" for my height and bone structure all of the sudden everyone was oh so concerned that I was now "too thin". But really what it boiled down to was that they were JEALOUS that I got there (never mind the fact that I literally worked my *kitten* off to get there!) and wanted to knock me down off my high horse a bit. Because there is a very negative connotation with the whole "too thin" idea.... just like when someone says "you look tired" it feels like they are saying "you look like ****".

I wasn't skin and bones - I was healthier than I had been in a long time! I used aerobics and weights to get there so I had nice muscle tone.... and I looked good!

What it really boiled down to is that I had frenemies and not real friends. Real friends will encourage and celebrate with you.... frenemies will try to bring you down. I cut the frenemies out of my life, found real friends and live is SO MUCH BETTER NOW!!! As I tell my children all the time "The world is full of those who want to bring you down, so it's your responsibility to only surround yourself with those who bring you up!!!!"

So keep up the good work darling!!! You can do this - and ignore the haters!
:happy:

bradphil87

Don't let it get to you!!! It's absolutely baffling how much a person won't notice!!!! I am just now hearing people wondering if I lost a few pounds. A few??? Try 60!!!!! Lol. I'm guilty of not noticing things too. Sorry ladies, I don't notice a new hair due, or that you had you nails done haha

lauras777

You are doing great!!! Keep up the great work, and don't worry about those who don't say anything...they probably just don't know what to say....I've had all sorts of comments, some good, some great and some questionable...

Keep on doing your thing!! :drinker:

sleepyjean88

Really dont worry about it weight loss can be a complete minefield in terms of what people say, there was a thread on here not so long ago where people were moaning about 'compliments' you cant really win you say nothing people get upset you say something it comes out wrong and people get upset.

I have lost 29 pounds and only one person had noticed, thats ok though thats not why I'm doing it

pamelak5

I don't think it's jealousy. I don't comment on weight loss unless I know that someone is trying to lose weight and doing it in a healthy way - I once dropped a ton of weight due to a medical issue. I had no appetite and felt ill, and comments about my weight loss were a reminder of what I was going through. Also, I found it painful to watch friends with eating disorders get compliments on their weight loss.

So I probably wouldn't have said anything unprompted. That being said if you had said "oh, things are good - i've gotten into zumba/walking/training for a 5k lately" I at that point would have said, "oh yeah? Well you look terrific!"

pamelak5

Oh, and not noticing your weight loss also means that they weren't paying much attention to your weight to begin with! I remember when my boyfriend (now husband) asked me to step on the scale to see if his scale still worked ("do you know how much you way? can you see if this is accurate") and I nearly bit his head off. He really didn't see why it would be an issue, so I can't fault him for that

LesaDave

Is it possible they were too embarrassed to say anything? Well, on a good note, YOU know you did it and YOU know you are SOOOOOO much more healthier now than you used to be. And, from me, CONGRATS!!!

cbcw1964

for whatever reason it is difficult for others to give kudos and or praise ...like it takes away from themselves.....thats terrible....but know in your heart that you have done work to be proud of...and don't let anyone take that away from you!

cls_333

Do this for YOU. NO ONE ELSE matters. They won't get healthier, feel better, look better, feel more confident, enjoy life more, live longer...only you will.

alexmeldan

Did the give you a strange look like they were checking you out. I have found that some people give me a look like they are studying me but just don't want to say anything that might offend me or they just don't feel comfortable saying something.

n5vox

Maybe - your friends didnt notice your weight to begin with? I mean - close friends dont really look at all of that on a daily basis. Besides - those are not the people you lost weight for - right? You lost weight for you and for the people in your life that actually matter.....not those other people! You hang in there and keep up the great job!!! SMILE!!!! You deserve it!

datenshi

I think sometimes people don't mention it because they might feel like they would be insulting you by pointing it out. Like if they say "Hey you're looking good" they are worried that you might think they are insulting you by insinuating that you didn't look good before.