experiences, opinions, goals, whatever you can offer

littlepinkhearts

So i've done the family thing and for whatever reason it's done. After devoting 100% of my time to family and work for the last 21 odd years, i've now found myself living on my own with a lot of free time on my hands and looking for a new direction in my life. Obviously after 21 odd years i'm a lot older haha. The world has changed, (not that I haven't been out in it but now i'm out in it more) i've changed and i'm just wondering what some people came up with in the way of changing goals in their lives and what things have helped you get out of that "family oriented" goal and moved into the "it's just me now" mindset. I'm a really positive person and always have been. I've learned to not dwell on the negative but take the good from everything and move on. FYI my daughter is 21 years old and still a big part of my life, although she also has her own life. Anything you can think of that helped you in the transition, please tell.

littlepinkhearts

anyone?

littlepinkhearts

c'monnn

mem50

Maybe take up a painting class? I do oil painting and do some sketching with pencils and chalk on those. Never had children so no concept of ENS. I also do a little writing, sure I will never publish but it's fun. Maybe find a quilting class in your area? I'll try to think up a few more.

HelloSweetie4

Go back to school! Explore subjects you had thought about but never persued. You have a great opprotunity to try tings you always wanted to!

megacy

I'm not quite sure what you're looking for, but I'll put my nickel in. Like mem50 is saying, take a class. It's good advice, finding things to do outside the house that you have an interest in. Like sports? Get to the local rec center and see what they offer, rec centers are great, they usually have a weight room, and various classes. Or times to go in for team sports like basketball or volleyball. Or maybe a book club if you like reading. You could always take classes at a local community college too.
Are you wanting to just get out and about? Or get out with the intention of meeting people? There could be running clubs in your area. Bike clubs. Or wine clubs. Or tennis clubs. Or disc golf clubs. Ceramics. Kite flying. There's even a group in our area that discuss ways to be more green.
You could even go to your local visitors center, they always list interesting things going on in communities. Oh! Go and be social at a farmers market! I always see half the people are there seeing and meeting other people as well as looking at the goods...haha, maybe they ARE checking out the goods!
Good luck, I know it's hard to get out and about and be social, but just breathe and do it. You'll end up having fun, and maybe meet a friend or two.

nightsrainfall

Maybe find volunteering work or community events that are both you centered & people centered. The family oriented mindset I believe let's you have a 'place', people to connect to, a 'role' of sorts, and a sense of belonging as well as very deep bonds (well family). That's all hard to change because those are all very strong emotional attachments, especially if you are people oriented (blood related, family, or just community, friends, etc). Some volunteering can let you have some aspects that are similar to a family oriented situation (big brother / big sister) where you can create those connects or temporarly do something similar to those connections while at the same time do something that's different from that family/work orientation and open yourself to even more solo, independent, you-oriented, or different type of things.

For me, I always mix what I currently like with what I'm familiar with and then also with something that's maybe a little new so that I can ease myself into doing new things while still enjoying them and feeling comfortable in them. Once I grow a bit that way, I will try to do something a bit more new or different. Like my fitness classes - I started with a basic beginner, then ended up all the way over to a hip hop class (I'm not so graceful some days) or a crossfit (more intense). Find your interests and comforts - then you can generally get yourself to do anything one step at a time.

littlepinkhearts

thanks for the ideas....and maybe I dunno what i'm looking for either lol I guess i'm just worried that i'm 50 years old now and I soooooo do not want my remaining years to be filled with stuff that are just slowing down my walk to the grave so to speak. I may be 50 but I don't feel it by any means. I still have a enough energy to live a whole life over again. But I just want it to be amazingly awesome haha

littlepinkhearts

I love the schooling idea though

littlepinkhearts

Maybe find volunteering work or community events that are both you centered & people centered. The family oriented mindset I believe let's you have a 'place', people to connect to, a 'role' of sorts, and a sense of belonging as well as very deep bonds (well family). That's all hard to change because those are all very strong emotional attachments, especially if you are people oriented (blood related, family, or just community, friends, etc). Some volunteering can let you have some aspects that are similar to a family oriented situation (big brother / big sister) where you can create those connects or temporarly do something similar to those connections while at the same time do something that's different from that family/work orientation and open yourself to even more solo, independent, you-oriented, or different type of things.

For me, I always mix what I currently like with what I'm familiar with and then also with something that's maybe a little new so that I can ease myself into doing new things while still enjoying them and feeling comfortable in them. Once I grow a bit that way, I will try to do something a bit more new or different. Like my fitness classes - I started with a basic beginner, then ended up all the way over to a hip hop class (I'm not so graceful some days) or a crossfit (more intense). Find your interests and comforts - then you can generally get yourself to do anything one step at a time.

this post is very helpful...thanks...

megacy

Volunteering! What a fantastic idea! Great for them, and good for you...guess I'll be looking into this too.
I hope you find what your searching for. Maybe don't be in too much of a hurry though. That journey can make a fantabulous new you! And just think, you're still teaching that daughter of yours what a great many things can still be done, even as we get older.
You know what my aunt took up? Belly dancing and wine making!

edit to add that my aunt's daughter joined her at belly dancing, maybe your daughter will join something with you too.

littlepinkhearts

Volunteering! What a fantastic idea! Great for them, and good for you...guess I'll be looking into this too.
I hope you find what your searching for. Maybe don't be in too much of a hurry though. That journey can make a fantabulous new you! And just think, you're still teaching that daughter of yours what a great many things can still be done, even as we get older.
You know what my aunt took up? Belly dancing and wine making!

edit to add that my aunt's daughter joined her at belly dancing, maybe your daughter will join something with you too.

you're right about the hurrying thing. I don't wanna rush into anything. Just wanna make sure I don't miss any options haha. My daughter lives outta town but we do get together once or twice a month for a day and night usually. She has been totally awesome in every way I actually considered pole dancing at one point but i'm pretty sure I don't have the core strength or arm strength for that matter. But Ihave started weight lifting so hopefully that will change. I'm just really searching for a place in life I suppose and I know it will take time to find that but i've never been one for patience.