Arrrg...needing to vent!

girlygirl82

So I just need to vent for a second...... :mad:

I just recently saved enough money to go to a lawyer to begin the process to get a custody/visitation schedule set up with my sons father, my ex. To give a little background, I live in PA and my ex moved to NC by his own doing 3 years ago.... therefore being almost non-existant to my son. : ( Anyway, we have not had any sort of schedule by which to plan any visits for Tyler and my ex to see each other. My ex has been basically flying by the seat of his pants, giving me little to no notice when he wants to see Tyler and it is very disruptive to our lives. My son has had to very abruptly at times changes his plans which can be very disappointing, but he idolizes his father and always wants to see him when he can.

So, to bring us to today.... My ex got my lawyers letter in the mail stating that we have taken action and will be notified shortly of a court date in which we will meet infront of a mediator to nail down a vistiation schedule in order to bring predictablitly in all parties lives. My ex was NOT HAPPY. I will not go into the conversation only to say that 2 parts frustrate me incredibly and more that tick me off.

He felt the need to attack me as a parent and belittle me in the 'faults' he sees in Tyler. :explode: One thing that will put me over the edge is critizing me as a parent, when he has been nothing but an almost absent parent for years. Just so that you guys are aware... not to toot my own horn... but my son is my pride and joy. I am so proud of what a lovely young man he is considering the tough times we have been through. I have had people come up to me at school functions and such to tell how polite and genuine Tyler is. Ohh how to make me feel so proud!! He he such a good boy. So for my ex to tell me I am doing things not up to his standards is insulting and infuriating.

The second thing that ticked me off is that he threatened that if he was in anyway is 'f**#%-ed' in this process his mother will file for sole custody of Tyler. WHAT!!??? Don't even go there. :explode:

So all in all, I am very frustrated because the purpose for this is not to take Tyler away from his father, but rather I want to enable it by having a set schedule in which Tyler can look forward to seeing his father rather than anxiously waiting to see when that will happen and my ex has undoubtable put on his fighting gloves for no reason.

Sigh... I hope that this doesn't get too ugly, because I don't want to see a battle. I just want PEACE.

So please keep my and Tyler in your thoughts and prayers as things begin to happen here within the next few weeks. I appreciate your support.

Thanks and have a great weekend all!! :flowerforyou:

Phoenix_Rising

I have my initial consult next week. I feel your pain, darling. I hope for Tyler's sake ole boy gives up quickly. I mean, I could hope that he'd change into a decent father, but I'm sure that is far fetched -- just like in my case. I wish you the best with this, for you and for Tyler!!! :flowerforyou:

BTW, my kiddo in my profile... she's my pride and joy too. Nothing in the world I wouldn't do for her.

pinksultana

Hey will be thinking of you! Your son is blessed to have a mother who is such a great advocate for his rights to see his father on a regular basis so good on you for doing this, even in the fact that the father is being a total doorknob about it all. He is deluded to think granny would get custody of your son whom has a clearly dedicated and loving mother.
Try to let it be like water off a ducks back ( I know totally easier said than done) because at the end of the day your working for the best interests of your child and that all you can do as a mum!!

xxPINK

Bella151

You will be in my prayers I really hope everything works out for you, because it is not fair that you and your son have to put up with a childish, unreliable man. But I have faith everything will work out, the Lord works in mysterious ways. Keep your head up (easier said then done, I know).

keiko

I know, you think we're all adults here. Let's work something out that will be good for the kid. But no someone is still being selfish, vindictive and can't be an adult.

My ex was mostly pretty good. But he would cancel at the last minute. Sometimes because he was tired. He worked all week you know. Like I didn't work, sometimes go to school, and parent two kids. I was tired to but I couldn't call up and say I'm tired no parenting today.

I'll pray that the mediator is a resonable adult and will want whats best for the kids involved for both of you.

denitchy

I know what you're going through. My ex and I split in 97... and I got sole-custody and raised my boys for 11 years (ages 14 & 15) without much influence for him! Actually 2 years of that time he had ABSOLUTELY NO CONTACT with them, I don't know why!! Although he has been telling them that it was me not letting him see them but I have NEVER stopped him...

Without getting into too much detail (I don't want this to be too long...lol) I had never asked for more child support, even though the cost of living goes up and such, but he wasn't even pitching in with extra curricular stuff (cleats for football etc) he would always tell the boys that "I give your mom child support for that" So I decided to ASK him for more support instead of going through the courts and costing both of us for lawyers... Well, I received papers in the mail May 2008 (about a month later) stating that he wanted custody of them!!! Who does that when the children are 13 & 14??? Anyway, I know it was because I asked for more money... this way he wouldn't have to pay, right?

Well, my oldest son went to live with him and I have the youngest! So, in a way, he got what he wanted... not to have to pay!!

Anywayyyyyssssss..... good luck with the BS that usually follows!! I hope you and your son doesn't have to go through a big fight with your ex, as it isn't good for anyone!!!

KZOsMommy

My thoughts and prayers are with you and Tyler!

girlygirl82

THANK YOU ALL SOO MUCH for your kind words and support. I got goosebumps reading some of your responces. : )

I have faith it will turn out for the better. Good will prevail!!

Thanks again. :flowerforyou: