No support from Spouse...

pooh431bear

Anyone else having this problem? I have no idea why the person that should be my biggest supporter is my worst enemy when it comes to me working out and getting healthy. He is away for 5 days a week (Truck Driver), and I do not go to the gym when he is home so I do not take any time away from us. I only go to the gym 3 days during the week. I am by far not starving myself at all. But, he absolutly hates the fact that I am loosing weight and toning up. I have a 100 lbs to loose, and he says no you dont...Doctors have no idea what they are talking about ect ect... you name the excuse he has given it to me. Ugh! anyone else having this issue, or am I the only one with a odd thinking-non supportive husband?

moonspells

He may be worrying that if you start making changes, you'll start expecting HIM to look at himself and make some of the same changes. If he isn't ready to start that journey himself, he may be worried that you'll pressure him to do the same and he may be resisting you in anticipation.
You just keep doing what you're doing and ignore him...if he loves you, he'll come around...or at least stop bugging you about it!
Best of luck! )

MooMooooo

Yeah, my husband is similar (he admits I need to 'do something' though)

My husband is feeling threatened - yours sounds the same, it's pretty common.

Just reassure him - talk it out.

dreamingchild

I think you two should talk about it. Sounds like this has everything to do with him and nothing to do with you. Meaning perhaps your changing is affecting him in some way....his security. When someone changes it can make a person feel insecure in the relationship....like where do I fit in this relationship, does she still find me attractive, what about attention she will get from other men, etc etc.

stfuriada

He's probably thinking you're trying to look good and wondering what you're going to do once you're in better shape while he's away.

Lesa_Sass

This one is easy, he is insecure and jealous.

DanetteNel

I was also wanting to start a post on this subject. I have a wonderful husband but he is very quick to tease me about my extra weight and moan about how I am not doing anything to lose it...........

But then when I do start eating properly and exercising he moans at me because I am eating differently to the family and my exercising is taking away quality time!!!!!!!!

I feel that it is a case of the spouse knowing that they, too should be doing something to improve themselves, but they cannot find the strength themselves to do it. They then become jealous and insecure when you show that you do have that strength.

An insecurity complex might also be making the spouse feel the need to keep you back and stop you from progressing.

A really tricky situation. We should all stick together and share our 'spouse' problems and share how we find ways to ease the problem.

I am new to MFP and welcom any new friends to share this exciting journey.

Danette


Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools

sculley

When I was married to my ex husband he was SO unsupportive he woud try to feed me desserts at night etc... all of his friends had placed it in his head that I was doing it to find someone better...(he had been cheating on me our whole marriage) I wanted to loose the weight to feel better about myself and maybe he would find me attractive as well etc... I am glad that it didn't work out cause now I am married to my first love who is so completely supportive and he is into it as well. (the exercise part not the eating better persay haha)
By telling you my story I am in BY NO MEANS telling you to divorce your husband AT ALL.. We had other issues obviously that led to that however I do agree with the others maybe he is feeling like there is something your not telling him (someone else etc) I am sure that isn't the case but reassuring is the best.

pinuplove

Your physical and habitual changes are pushing him out of his comfort zone. My husband told me 10 pounds ago I looked great, and absolutely balked when i told him my goal weight! But now he admits he likes the changes he's seeing and is very encouraging and even adopting healthier habits himself

Try not to get discouraged, keep up your good work, and have open communication with him about why and how you're doing this. I didn't want to talk about it with him at first because I was embarrassed about the state I let myself get into, but it is 1000% better since I opened up about it!

Yanicka1

Don't talk to him about weight loss and get your support on MFP. He might be a bit scared but you need to do it for yourself

Hmrjmr1

This one is easy, he is insecure and jealous.

More likely the first less so the second. It's a guy thing especially for guys that spend a lot of time on the road.

yoovie

I see these posts all the time and I cannot for the life of me, figure out why all your spouses aren't tearin your clothes off with their teeth, having wild monkey sex all over the house with you and high fiving you every time you get home swety and exhausted.

Jmbean84

Bump

ahelgers10

He is probably worried you are going to get in great shape and not be interested in him anymore. My husband has that fear all the time. He has asked many times if I was going to get skinny and want some one else. I always am having to tell him no I love you, I am just doing this to feel better about myself and be healthier. Hopefully he will get on board soon.

jcmartin0313

A marriage is about communication and sacrifice no matter what. He is making huge sacrifice by being on the road 5 days a week and it sounds like you are making sacrifices so they the two of you may enjoy a longer life together. He may be jealous that you are changing and or he may fear you will change and drift away from him. I think you need to do what is best for your health. No one has the right to take that away from you. This is one of the few situations where I support a certain level of selfishness is ok because in the end it is not being selfish at all. If he cannot get on board than he needs to understand that you are going to live this new life with or without him.

misty0413

this is why I joined . My husband is working out of town so this is my journey. I have lost 11 so far, now I won't see him until september. Can't wait to see his jaw hit the floor. I think he is just insecure and I am younger than him. If he can't support me thats his problem! I am doing this all for me.

MIchelleH2027

Maybe he is just trying to be sweet....and if he agrees with you, maybe he thinks you will think he is saying that you are (fat) and doesn't want to do that. Look at it this way....He loves you just as you are right now. Give him time and to get use to the new you, more active and happy. Just a thought.

deadheadcheri

My man was less than encouraging of my diet attempts at first...he agreed that I needed to lose the weight, but every plan I tried he shot down. AND when some weight did come off, he questioned it...as if I must have some hot young guy I wanted to impress to be trying so hard...This site and simply cutting calories doesn't bother him as much as my other wacky plans did. But the big change came when he decided to get us a three-month membership at the gym. He used to go but hadn't in a while and had gotten really out of shape. Now we go together. He is my personal trainer. It is time we get to spend together without the kids, we are getting healthier together, and bonding over the sweating and agony that working hard can be. We see each other trying hard and we get to admire one another. Maybe you could invite your man to join you when he is home? It can be a lot of fun! Whatever you do, be sensitive to him if you can....he is scared. What if you lose the weight and decide you're not happy with him anymore? Guys can be really insecure, too.