To all the wives/mommy's out there...HELP!!

Giovannismom

Hi ladies...

I need help to balance this "full time multi jobs" I have going on right now...I dont want to sound like a broken record with the excuses...but it's so much harder this time around.

As a single girl, I was able to loose the weight so fast...I would put my mind to it and nothing else was as important.... and I would get it done.... now I find it so hard to keep on track....
I work full time (semi stressful job) ..>I have a husband to take care of and a 3 year old boy.... My husband is super supportive but he works long hours and comes home super tired (manual labor)...and works most Saturdays...

just need to know how do the "super mom's " of the world do it? when do you make time to work out? to cook healthy meals? to go grocery shopping? to clean the house? and most importantly how do you take care of yourself? Most people tell me...you just have to do it for yourself....ok I get that..but How? any tips? ideas? super powers? LOL



Thank you.
~V~

soulynyc

i prioritize. kids are most important. food, cleaning.. i do what i can. make a schedule for yourself. use a timer if you need to . involve your kids in activiites so they can be part of it and help you too. like today when i stretched i had my daughter helping me. it gave us time and she learned a few things and i was so grateful for her help. you can do it. cook meals that you can stretch over the week. i love to make bean soup with tomatoes and rosemary and corn and carrots. i make enough for the week. make soups, rice for two days or three. boil eggs ahead of time. you can do so many things to cut time .

JuliaW2012

Though I am not a mom, I do have a mom who works a full time job. Generally we try to keep a lot of fruit and veggies in the house and eat less carbs and meat. drinking a lot of water will help to fill you up and keep you hydrated. It also helps to spend a day making lots of healthy meals and then freezing them for the week. Exercise is the hard part, though we try to exercise every other day at the Y, some times we just use aerobic and walking videos in our living room. Even if you are unable to exercise for a long period of time, every bit helps. So don't give up, I am sure you can do it!!

jillica

V - I am SO WITH YOU! Similar situation - Semi-stressful job, hubby does 2 jobs - manual labor, 4 kids

I've really hit a wall recently and weigh now 6 lbs heavier then when I first started MFP! I actually weighed 25 lbs lighter just 4 months ago and managed to gain it all back. (I'm an emmotional eater - I eat when I'm stressed to relax - ironic, huh?)

As a single girl, I too could just lose it fairly well. I would go on long walks and runs first thing in the morning.

I'm an all or nothing kind of person - when it is all clicking, I'm eating right, exercising well, drinking water, house is clean, kids are getting all their needed attention, and I am feeling in control and confident. But the other 50 weeks, I feel like a failure at all.

My advice to you and me, is to keep trying. I set my alarm everyday for 5:00am (I don't need to start the day until 6:00am) somedays I wake up to exercise, some days I decide cleaning is more important, most days I snooze. For me, another vice is TV. It is another thing I do to relax. It just gets in the way of all I want to achieve. I'm going to go home and delete all that is left on my DVR. Thanks for posting your story. You have helped me.

kris4chloe

try to set aside time each week to cook up chicken breast and cut up veggies so you have something quick and handy.

i like protein drinks for quick bites.

raw almonds

natural peanut butter on a rice cake is a treat for me (sounds silly but i have come to love them)

if i can do it anyone can. i have five kids. teenagers all the way down to toddlers with friends at my house constantly. i work part time out of the house, work part time for my church from home and run a part time web design business. i go to bed early (and make everyone else in my house go to bed early too) and wake up early to get my workouts in.

Natty0506

I wish I could help, but I have it pretty easy as a stay at home mom. I think your best bet will be to sit down and find a balance. Instead of going to the gym, take your son on a walk after dinner. Do your shopping on Saturday or Sundays, meal plan, and cook in advance. Being hyper organized will help you a lot. Schedule everything, and you'll be able to make it work.

perfect10isha

The best time to work out for me is after the kids go down for the night, or at least one of them. I usually put our 5 month old to sleep and hubby handles our almost 3 year old daughter. They are usually both in bed by 8:30pm, so that becomes me time or quality time with hubby. One thing that works for me is as soon as I get home putting on my workout clothes. That way I'm ready to go as soon as the baby goes down. I had tried getting to the gym but it feels like too much effort to leave the house right now, so I'm going back to my JM 30 day shred dvd. The workouts are like 30 minutes so that means I can finish and be out the shower by 9:30pm, do any last minute prep for the next day and hopefully get in bed by 10/10:30pm. That may be late for some, but this works better for me than trying to wake up early and workout.

I'm not good at cooking for like a week in advance so I just cook 2-3 times monday through friday, but cook enough so there are at least leftovers for the next day, so I'm not in the kitchen every day. Also, when my kids are up I give them my full attention. I"m happy to get in 3 workouts during the week and other nights of the week I try to spend time with hubby watching a movie, or just talking, etc. There have been nights I was all ready to workout but hubby needed to talk or whatever, so I choose quality time and pushed the workout to another day. Also on the weekends trying to go for a walk with the kids or going to the park all contributes to having a active lifestyle.

I know its hard after a long day at work and juggling the kids and dinner and hubby, but I guarantee you will feel so much better after you've done your workout. Your body needs it, and it such a great stress relief. Also you'll be amazed that your energy level will actually go up (if you're eating enough). Its important as mothers to do something that contributes to our well being. We are always caring for everybody else, but we can never be our best if we are not caring for ourselves.

callikia

I'm a married mother of 2 boys - 12 and 10 (and I've been working on this since 2004, so I know the struggles of younger vs. older kids -- best thing now is my kids can even help cook!!!). My husband works full-time. I work a full-time job and a part-time job. The long and short of it? You just have to figure out where you can squeeze it in. Some things that have helped me:

1) I'd die without my crockpot. For my birthday Hubs bought me one of the programmable ones and it's already about busted and I'm about to cry over it. You can set this in the morning and then forget about it until dinner time.

2) Batch cooking. I've done a lot of this in my day. I set aside one day a week to cook a TON of something that will keep in the fridge and I can use as a "go to" healthy lunch or dinner item. This can be anything from a big batch of vegetarian or ground turkey chili, a few pounds of ground turkey or chicken browned to be made into tacos or casseroles or whatever else, a huge thing of brown rice (yes, it can be reheated - just add a bit of water to the dish before you stick it in the microwave), chicken breasts grilled up, etc., etc.. There are a ton of sites online for batch cooking how tos and what freezes well and how to get started.

3) I involve my kids as much as possible. Even at the age of 3, you can certainly pull your child into your exercise routine. Go for a walk together or run around the yard or whatever. I promise you that if you keep it interesting, you'll wear out before they do. My 10 and 12 year old now talk about exercise as a regular thing and we go out all the time for volleyball, tennis, basketball, walking, biking, rowing, running, etc. as a family. Thirty minutes to an hour of quality time together and calories burned? Win Win!

4) Schedule. Schedule. Schedule. I know which workout I have planned for every day this month. I have to because I have no time to think about what I should be doing. Instead, I go to my calendar and see that it's a 30 minutes of ST day and off I go. Gets me in and out of the workouts quicker if I already know what the goal is and I can just get to it.

5) Have snacks on hand all the time. Because even though the lil one is popping a chicken finger, it doesn't mean it's all that great for you to eat if you're trying to watch your figure.

6) And, finally, I make my family eat like I do. Sure, every once in a while they get a guilty pleasure like ice cream or pizza or whatever...but for the most part I've taught them to really enjoy healthy dinners of chicken or fish with a ton of roasted vegetables and some brown rice. I've learned to adapt their favorite recipes into something I can eat without feeling guilty - I have a recipe for homecooked, baked "chicken nuggets" that my kids LOVE! - and I always make them try new things. When they don't want what we're having, I keep on hand a good supply of peanut butter (which I make at home - so much better for you!) and jelly and bread. They know what to do!

Jennloella

have a schedule and stick to it. Organization is your super power. Being healthy is a priority so I don't stay up late watching TV or going to dinner with friends, I wake up at 5 or 530 to work out. I have a 6 and 9 year old, a full time job, a volunteer job, and am in school full time. My husband works 12 to 15 hour days and helps as much as he can. I print off a calendar and I plan out dinners for the entire month. I do this on a sunday I'm home with my husband so he can help. Then I make two shopping lists, one for the first two weeks and one for the last half of the month (buying veggies and meat a month ahead doesn't work so well) Then I put the calendar up on the fridge - every morning there is no question of what to take out of freezer or what's for dinner it's right there. After I work out, I grab whatever meat out of the freezer I need, and I prep anything else (peel potatoes and put in fridge, mix up stir fry sauce, etc) drop kids at school, do my homework, and I'm at work until 7 or 8 so my husband is the one that must grab the ingredients and put it together in the evening, but because I prep and map it out for him it is quick and easy.

Jaytee79

I feel your pain. I work full time as an ICU nurse- so I do shift work. I tend to do do my groceries after a night shift, while my kids are at the dayhome before I sleep for a few hours so I don't lose any extra time with them. Or they come with me and "help" me (They are 20 months old, and 3...so this option causes high blood pressure

My husband works a regular 8-5 job- but a lot of manual labor involved so he is also tired when he gets home. House cleaning is done together on the weekend so we can power through it quicker. Weekend I work, he starts it...I finish it on my days off.

For meals...I use my crockpot a lot...or I cook large quantities of things and freeze some, so that on another day I can pull out a quick but healthy meal.

My workouts either involve my kids...we have a gym and tv in our basement, so they will play in their toy room while I do a workout DVD, and they might come do some of it with me. My 20 m old does yoga better than I do. If I want to run- it has to be early morning before my husband leaves or after the kids go to bed, or done on a break at work. A family walk is always nice...you can get a pretty good calorie burn chasing kids around in a field or park! One trick...as soon as you get home from work...put on your work out gear. And the other one I do is post on MFP that I had a long day...stressful day...need to get motivated to workout and let my friends nag and push me to get up.

EpiGaiaRepens

I'm a single mom with a full time professional job. Well, now I have a bf too...but I lost most of my weight before he and I got together....

anyways, I think it helps to put yourself on your list of priorities. You already cook for everyone, right? So just make sure you include yourself in that planning. I know it's hard, and some days it will be easier to have food delivered than to cook...but even then you can say "alright, I'm gonna get the veggetable dish and NO spring rolls this time!"

Also, as for kids- three is kinda hard but you can find a gym with childcare. If not, you can also think of creative ways to exercise with your child. I would do things like set my kid up in the middle of a track with toys and snacks and run laps around him. You can do chin ups on the playground while he's running around. I would even do parkour on the playground with my kid...we just called it "hot lava." I got one of those tandem bikes for my kid (http://www.trail-a-bike.com/) and we bike commuted.

And don't forget to give yourself credit for all the housework you do. Nowadays, people pay gyms to yell at them and do things with their bodies. They call it "crossfit"...but it's just as good if you are moving furniture around to vacuum under it. Really. It is.

Another thing I would do is tell my son "you get an hour to do what you want, then I get an hour." His hour might be playing baseball or whatever. My hour is him doing his homework in the gym while I pump iron (he's ten now).

I think if you are already a mom and working, you already got what it takes. You're alredy lifting weights (um, three year old child, and groceries, and kids bikes, and...and...and...). And you're already cooking (I'm assuming).

Also, never underestimate the value of walking on your lunch break

And keep counting those calories and tracking your housework and you'll see progress!

edit: the hour for you, hour for me thing is actually how i managed to finish law school. I had take home finals on days that ended up being snow days. Got an "A" on a paper I wrote in between sledding sessions with all the neighbor kids!

vichm

Alot of what the others have said is so true, I am a mum/wife- I have 3 children a 7 year old and 0month twins and have recently returned to work (4 full days a week, quite a bust role so sometimes leave late) It is very much a balancing act.

I get up with the babies and sort breakfast and packed lunches then aim to do at least 30mins of exercise (I say aim as this depends on the babies moods!) then get sorted for work. At least a few days a week I will prepare dinner- this can be something in the slow cooker so is easier when we get home from work. Then once the eves come I spend time with the children and once settled (and if I didnt get to do as much of a workout as I hoped) the workout is the next thing I do, then im setted for the night.

I very much agree, its a make time for it situation- I am a gym a holic and will openly admit to this so fitting in some kind of workout is a must- on a bad week I have 2 rest days, but not because I want/ need the rest more that I physically could'nt get it in. But when I work to get on to of everything in the day I feel I can do a workout guilt free. Hubby is good as long as Im not leaving him with everything to do and he also has his time (normally golf/ football) so we both have hobbies away from home to clear our head and destress. It works well for us.

I have finally got back into the small size of my wardrobe and am actually smaller than I was before I fell pregnant, (only by 5lbs but a result at 10 months post twins) Find something you like/ stay motivated and make you time-..... It works and you feel great and I think you naturally relax alittle once your near your goal as you know your close. Its hard but worth it.

ladyfox1979

As a mom of 2 beautiful girls and wife of a loving and supportive husband. I work full time, cook dinner 6 days a week. This is what my typical week is like
M-F
6:30-7: 00 am - Wakeup, brush teeth , shower and dress for work
7:00-7:30 am- Get girls up, make breakfast (Cereal and orange Juice or oatmeal) and ready for school and daycare
7:30-8:00 am- Drop off kids and get to work
8:00-12:00 pm- Work
12:00-1:00pm- Workout/Lunch
1:00-5:00pm-Work
5:00-5:15pm -Pick kids up
5:15-5:30pm- Relax
5:30-6:30- Make dinner
6:30-6:45pm- Bath time for kids
6:45-7:30pm- Dinner w/the family
7:30--9:00pm- Family Time( this is the time I like to make my family play with the Wii ie games where we have to physically move)
9:00pm-Bedtime/Hubby and me time

Saturdays and Sundays my hubby and I are off so we get to make up the day as we go but I always try to make sure there is some form of physical activity in there somewhere

MonkeyFlower

It is super hard fitting everything around husbands and kids and im definitely not perfect and as my diary will show fall into the trap of eating the kids party foods…but most of the time I try and do something like this..

I have 3 boys, work 4 days a week and have a husband who gets home at the kids bedtime so it a busy day but I get up at 5am so I can go to work early, then I come home and spend the afternoons with the kids and then at 7.30 I go work out for an hour at the gym or walking round the block or something after the kids are in bed…then I come home and spend an hour or two with hubby before collapsing in bed!

It is harder to do than when your single (or at least I find it harder) but it worth it to feel more like I did when before rather than the frumpy mummy I felt like I was turning into! Good luck and feel free to add me, I have some super motivational mummies as my friend who help keep me on track every day! :happy:

dfsnell

I am a single mother of 2 girls, 13 and 7, work full time, and working on my Master's Degree full time. I work out on my lunch hour, and again in the evenings. When I am at home in the evenings, I usually do a workout video (sometimes not until 10 PM). I'm lucky because my 13 y/o knows how to cook, and she will help with meals if I get too busy. We make all lunches and snacks the night before, and all clothes are ironed and hung in the closets at the beginning of the week (Sunday). I am not the most organized person, and life sometimes feels like I am loosing control, but a few things put in place definitely helps.

Because my girls are so busy with sports and activities, I also try to schedule a day where we do not leave the house....we call them pajama days. We do NOTHING on those days only movies, books, games, whatever is no stress and can be done at home. Our bodies need the rest sometimes. I wish you the best!

RunLaraRun

It's hard. I've found that whole food, preped simply tastes wonderful. Stirfry's can be tossed together, and on the table in a 20 minutes. (Go light on the sodium based sauces... but try lemon juice, herbs, garlic, to flavor the stir fry). I also make up 2 of what ever 'preped' food I make. Lasagne (eggplant used to make the meat go much, much further 2 links for a full pan), I make 2 pans.. one for the oven, one for the freezer. Prep your slowcooker meals in zip top bags, and freeze. Makes it simple to prep supper then. Just pull the bag out of the freezer, and turn the thing on. (pinterest has many links for wonderful recipes).

As for exercise.. Early mornings, or nights... which ever works best for you. Watch craig's list, you should be able to get some good equipment for cheap. I got an elliptical, and a treadmill for cheap. Now, I'll be building my weight collection in my basement. I have my elliptical in my bedroom, where I have my DVR. I watch my fav TV shows will using it. And it's quiet enough that I don't bug anyone with it. The treadmill is in the basement, where I can use it, and turn on the kids TV, to entertain myself. I also find races for me to run. This gives me a goal to work towards, and a reason to get out and move. If I didn't have a race on the calendar, I'd find it easy to stay on the couch! Find a goal that you have to work towards... and sign up!

MonkeyFlower

oh and as Jaytee79 says i also put on my work out gear as soon as i get home from work, firstly because it reminds me that i cant just slob out and i have to do my workout after kids are asleep but i find it also makes me run after the kids more and we play more active games than if i stay in work gear!

gauchogirl

You can do it. I have 3 daughters, only 2 in the house right now, but the other is getting married in 2 weeks and moving across the country, so I'm constantly on the phone with her too...) Anyway, I work 2 full time jobs (40 hours a week for a company and my own full time business) and I'm proof it CAN be done.
1) I work out on my lunch hour 4 days a week.
2) I go back to the gym straight after work and do another 1/2 hour 3x a week.
3) I get up early on both Saturday and Sunday and go for a hike. I take whomever wants to go with me. Sometimes the kids or husband or just me and the dog.
4) We walk 3-5 times per week after dinner, all of us, for 30-60 minutes.
5) I also walk on my 15 minute break at work, 3-4 times per week.
6) I frequently "drop to the ground" and do 20 pushups right where I am, in the living room, a private ladies room, my cubicle if no one is there, etc...They are a fantastic whole body exercise that only takes 1-2 minutes.
I keep track of everything in Excel (I'm a statistic fanatic) and I average about 500-600 minutes of logged exercise every week. It all adds up. If you have to take your child with you, then do that. Even 10 minutes of moving is better than nothing at all. And it's good for them too. Like some other posters have said, scheduling helps. I can look at my calendar/excel chart and tell you exactly what I'm going to do on any day of the month. It's fluid and changes all the time, but I am constantly in there, changing things. If I have to miss a workout because of an appt, I find room for it somewhere else or make the hike longer or something. I only take time off for actual injury or sickness (mine or anyone in my family.) Remember you're not in this for the short term, it's the long haul of the rest of your life. So add in a little bit here and there, include your child and you'll be surprised how much fits in.

As far as food, I make sure on Sunday to make up my lunches for the week so all I have to do is grab and go. I'm not a breakfast eater anymore, but if I feel like it, it's something I can grab, like a Larabar. To be honest here, my husband does our dinner cooking, BUT in that same time, I am in the kitchen with him loading and unloading dishwashers, cleaning up, etc. Each night I clean the kitchen, do a load or two of laundry, work on my own business. I don't watch TV so I get a lot done at night. Other cleaning gets done on weekends (I'm not a neat freak, so if anywhere slides, this is it.) My kids aren't young anymore, but still need a lot of face time, especially as teens.
I think as women the biggest problem is viewing all OTHER women as "superwomen", like they do more than us. We don't realize how much WE do. You are a superwoman, just like the rest of us here on MFP. You can do it, I have NO DOUBT.

StephMykytuk

Hire a housekeeper!!!

happy123456

I don't have any children but I do work a stressful job and my husband works crazy stupid hours.

I made myself a weekly menu and plan my menus on a Sunday for the week, sometimes a bit tricky since hubby works late but slow cooker is invaluble.

Have you tried shopping online and getting some of your groceries delivered?

I set my timer for cleaning, when the timer goes off I am done in that room, makes you work faster!!

My biggest problem is excersise as if my butt hits the couch I don't get up again, but I am working hard to get it in!

All the best!!!

WE CAN DO IT!!!!!!!

4thehardman

Organisation, planning and a crockpot. These are my secretss. I also rely on protien shakes, a big garden and the fact that they all play well together.
My husband is gone from 7am-9pm, if I don't plan my day I find it can get tedious.
I have triplets who are 3 and a 4 year old.