harassment in the workplace? please help?

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BeautyFromPain
BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
in Chit-Chat
Hi there,

A certain manager I work with is just a downright *kitten*.

He makes all the girls feel very uncomfortable whilst at work.
Eg today he was saying that i didn't have a boyfriend because of my looks and saying that i obviously was a bad kisser and f***er! how the hell would he know? Other than the fact that is degrading that is complete and utter inappropriate conversation for the workplace. He says this sort of stuff to all the different girls there and he tried to fire one girl because he touched her *kitten* by "accident" and she was upset and talking to her friend about it. He also always talks about his $ex life whilst in work when all the girls are around.

He is just a manager now, but becoming a store manager soon, idk what to do because he said he would fire me if I went to higher management, and I really need the money.

What would you do?
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Replies

  • willy0524
    willy0524 Posts: 1,897
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    Document document and document everything!!!
  • havingitall
    havingitall Posts: 3,728 Member
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    There are laws against this type of behaviour. First of all, you need to ask him to stop as it makes you feel uncomfortable. Document the times and situations in which he has done this. If he continues after you ask him to stop, take it to his manager. If they do not deal with it, their are government agencies that handle this sort of thing
  • Railr0aderTony
    Railr0aderTony Posts: 6,803 Member
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    report it, no job is worth taking abuse
  • Mommy2Avaj
    Mommy2Avaj Posts: 140 Member
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    Get in touch with corporate/owner. District or regional manager. That is completely out of line. I was fired wrongfully by a manager that coped a feel. I told my husband who, of course, went up there and beat the **** out of him. Lol thinkin bout it, thas prolly why I got fired Hahahaha. But yea, gurl, do something. It could get worse.
  • thebigcb
    thebigcb Posts: 2,210 Member
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    Document document and document everything!!!

    This, and you need a witness too it. Time, place, emails etc, keep it all, then go to HR. Shocking way for a manager to behave. What age is IT, 15?
  • EricNCSU
    EricNCSU Posts: 699 Member
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    Talk to your Human Resources people IMMEDIATELY! Especially if they are going to move him up to a higher position with contact to more people?? Ridiculous. He should be fired for making lewd comments to you, much less the other girls.
  • SuperSexyDork
    SuperSexyDork Posts: 1,669 Member
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    You need to document and report it. Write down the things he says/does on an electronic medium that can be dated/timed.

    http://www.equalrights.org/publications/kyr/shwork.asp

    If you read through this, you'll see that there are also laws against retaliation. Him simply threatening to fire you for reporting is against the law. Here is a quote from that article, "Not only is sexual harassment against the law, but so is retaliating (taking revenge) against someone for complaining about sexual harassment or for participating in an investigation of sexual harassment." Retaliation can include demoting you, firing you, making you take a leave of absence, etc.
  • imogenjade
    imogenjade Posts: 131
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    he cant fire you for going higher i dont think. you can sue him. just go higher and tell them. get all the girls he does it to awsell to all come forward xxx
  • Di3012
    Di3012 Posts: 2,250 Member
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    Hi there,

    A certain manager I work with is just a downright *kitten*.

    He makes all the girls feel very uncomfortable whilst at work.
    Eg today he was saying that i didn't have a boyfriend because of my looks and saying that i obviously was a bad kisser and f***er! how the hell would he know? Other than the fact that is degrading that is complete and utter inappropriate conversation for the workplace. He says this sort of stuff to all the different girls there and he tried to fire one girl because he touched her *kitten* by "accident" and she was upset and talking to her friend about it. He also always talks about his $ex life whilst in work when all the girls are around.

    He is just a manager now, but becoming a store manager soon, idk what to do because he said he would fire me if I went to higher management, and I really need the money.

    What would you do?

    Don't fart about with somebody like this.

    Log absolutely everything he does and says that is inappropriate, dates, times and who the victim was. Get your colleagues to do the same.

    It shouldn't take you too long to get enough info by the sounds of it, then when you have enough stuff to go on write a letter to your HR Department, with photocopies of all the evidence and put in a grievance - all of you do this.

    He is disgusting and you should never have to put up with stuff like that, he shouldn't even be speaking to you like that let alone belittling you!

    Don't forget to photocopy ALL letters and notes that you all take, stuff can sometimes have a "weird" way of going missing, don't let that happen.

    Sexual discrimination - it is illegal.
  • Swissmiss
    Swissmiss Posts: 8,754 Member
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    Document document and document everything!!!

    Yes ^^^^ And, do you have an HR department where you work? If so, then they should be made aware of what is happening.
  • k2charmed4u
    k2charmed4u Posts: 282
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    I'd go above him to the top management, document everything and show it to them. He cannot dismiss you for him causing harrasment in the workplace towards yourself and others it will be classed as an unlawful dismissal and you can persue him legally. The company you work for however should defend you and your work colleagues. It is there responsibility to discipline or even sack the man involved. make sure the others girls will back you up as it will only make it harder if it's your word against his.

    Good luck hun :flowerforyou:

    P.S. as above ^^^ approach your HR department for advice. Legally they are not allowed to tell any other member of staff within your company without your permission about what's happening. So you can gain advice without anyone knowing.
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
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    He can't fire you for going to higher management.. Thats illegal. If he did, then you would have a lawsuit on your hands because you could prove that he fired you for going to higher management.

    Document and go to HR. This guy needs to be stopped.. and that other girl he fired for talking about what he did to her, can also start a lawsuit... he's in the wrong here.. not you guys.
  • batgirl8809
    batgirl8809 Posts: 32 Member
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    Document everything. If you have someone in your HR department that you trust take it to them. If not, file a complaint with the EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunities Commission) and state that you are in a hostile work environment and are being discriminated against because of your sex.

    Wish I didn't know all this but I've been there.
  • joankpoirier
    joankpoirier Posts: 281 Member
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    set your phone on video and record his nasty *kitten*. than take that to corp! THEY have to do something at that point. if they do not than you send it to a local TV station and tell them what is going on
  • driaxx
    driaxx Posts: 314 Member
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    Once my disgusting manager was hitting on this girl we work with (who was 15 mind you!) and when she sat on chocolate he made some dirty joke about getting to touch it and wipe off the mess. So disgusting!!! Another time he actually did slap one of our workers on the *kitten*.

    So someone wrote an 'anonymous' letter to HR and he got in big trouble and eventually transferred stores.
  • Lolli1986
    Lolli1986 Posts: 500 Member
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    that sort of behaviour is a big deal in Australia and the law is on your side.

    if anything is said at work that you are not comfortable with you are certainly supported in stating this. i am very careful about certain topics in my work place, and will tell a boss if i am not happy to discuss a certain topic even if we get along great guns.

    this goes further than that, so yes, as others have said documentation helps, but also you can go straight to his superior right now, mention it, get him/her to make take record of you reporting it, and ask their advice regarding how to handle his behaviour.

    the whole 'document document document' thing is true and helps, but there is no need to feel disempowered by the thought that documenting or getting witness to this sort of behaviour is actually very difficult. it is, in fact, his supervisor's JOB to help you in the initial stages of dealing with this. it will also be someone's job to more officially advise you regarding any more official reports, but first port of call is his supervisor, and you don't need any documentation for that because you are literally saying 'hey, xyz is happening, what do I do?'
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
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    Report this matter to your HR Department. Yes he is just a Manager & another employee of the company so he should be treated the same when it comes to implementing company policies.
  • awisegirl84
    awisegirl84 Posts: 82 Member
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    set your phone on video and record his nasty *kitten*. than take that to corp! THEY have to do something at that point. if they do not than you send it to a local TV station and tell them what is going on

    Make sure you know what the laws are. In some places it is illegal to record someone without their knowledge and consent.
  • AbzRocks
    AbzRocks Posts: 45
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    You should have your phone on record and record him saying things then take it to higher management then they will get rid of him!
  • cloud2011
    cloud2011 Posts: 898 Member
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    Guys like this are bullies in their own way and rely on people NOT to report them or to fight back. So as others are saying, document everything, get it on audio or video if possible. Also, maybe get together with your co-workers and come up with a unified way to deal with him. For example, if he says something crude or rude, you need to say, I don't like what you just said to me and I want you to stop. It's unacceptable behavior. Or, if he touches you, yell, "STOP, don't touch me! Keep your hands to yourself! That's wrong!"

    He relies on silence to continue to do what he's doing. I would still report him, but I would also make it clear his behavior is WRONG. If no one says anything, he's going to say "Oh, everyone knew I was just joking."

    Easier said than done, I know. I once had a Chief Financial Officer of a billion dollar company, ask if I would sit on his lap. About 4 or 5 other people were in the room. I said, you have a lot of nerve right down the hall from so and so's office (head of HR). He replied, "Oh, she can sit on my lap, too. "

    I did nothing and still regret it. I should have gone immediately down the hall to report it, and then gotten a lawyer.

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