Does the driving force have to come from within ?

christinehetz80

I'm a strong believer that to truly make a lifestyle change in where you eat better, exercise, and change years of "bad" habits that the driving force has to come from within. However, I was wondering did anyone have a loved one sit them down and let them know they were concerned about what they were doing to themselves? If yes, what did they say. My father I believe has given up....he feels he is almost 60 (which as far as I'm concerned is still VERY young in this day and age) and that feeling crappy, having to take tons of medications, and a short life expectancy are just part of the game of getting older. I know thats not true....how do I convince him otherwise? Or can I not really? I considered giving him an mp3 player with a few different health oriented podcasts and maybe even a pedometer. Just not sure if that will help get him started.

LoraF83

I've had a few family members suggest a more active lifestyle or talk about their diets around me (they probably thought they were being subtle....lol!). But no one ever had a "sit down" with me about my weight or health.

My current workout partner had been trying to motivate me to exercise for about a year or so before I got serious last December. We would exercise 3-4 times a week for a few weeks and then I would find a lot of excuses and start slacking off. For some reason, in December it finally clicked for me. And I'm totally on track now.....but only because I'm chosing to be. Yes, my friend still pushes and encourages me, but I have the inner desire to improve and lower my weight.

I know this is a topic you struggle with, and I understand - I've recently been talking with my mom about her diet and health, as she was diagnosed with diabetes a few months ago. She's not overweight, but she doesn't eat well and gets her exercise walking to her car from her apartment. And she's a smoker who has high blood pressure. So, I worry about her a lot.

I would encourage you to try. You should - so at least you have peace of mind that you did everything you could to help. Make exercise dates with him. Give him that MP3 player.....load some music along with the podcasts. Maybe a new pair of shoes to get him walking!
But be realistic that your efforts might not work. He might not change. You need to be prepared for that....but it's worth a shot! Keep this quote in mind: "I would rather suffer the pain of disappointment than live with the pain of regret."

vfnmoody

So much of who we are is in our head. You need to let him know how you feel about his present condition. Show him you care and that you have a way for him to change. That done all you can do is hope it stricks home and he sees the need for a change. Show him some options.

stfuriada

I personally think so.

Words are just words, if you have no commitment to actually doing the work, then all the feel-good pep talks are useless.

Crochetluvr

You can make suggestions.....you can buy him things....you can plead with him. But, yes....HE has to want it for it make a difference. I will be 58 in 10 days and I sure don't want to give up the ghost. I don't consider myself old and I want to be around to see my grandchildren one day.

neverstray

It depends on your relationship with him. I'm completely comfortable bringing that up with my dad. But, the timing has to be right and it has to come up naturally in conversation.

It's easy for an older person to just feel like its impossible, and what's the point anyway. That would be the hard part is explaining that it's not at all. But, he's got to want it in order to make it happen.

Maybe start to go for walks with him a couple days a week as a way to start.

Lesa_Sass

Good luck with that. Maybe take him casket shopping, and stop by the cemetery to pick out a slot. (that is what we suggest to people that have a loved one that refuses to get help for a drug addiction).

My family sends me pictures of plates of bacon and laughs at me. There is nothing I can do to control them, their lives, heath or actions. The only thing I can do is control how I feel and how I act, show them with a living example of what life is like this way, now in saying that, both my sisters tell me they are glad I am so healthy so I can care for their kids if something happens to them. geesh!

Long story short, he is your dad and you love him but your story may be one that will help another mother or father one day to be there for their kids.

christinehetz80

To be honest, I have pleaded with him in the past, and I have tried to lead by example...and when I go to visit him the first thing I do is get him out to walk the local downtown lake for our "chats". When he lived closer he was open to eating healthier and exercising more in terms of walking with me, etc. I guess I want to make one last effort lay out on the table and Lesa, I love that approach. Its blunt and to the point...and kinda a way in how my father got me back on track (different story) earlier in my life. Thanks yall! I'm gonna give this a try and hope for the best!