I'm becoming hopeless, I need advice please.

Aranda7892

I try not to post here much, but I really have no support. I have so many issues that recently came up. I'm completely overwhelmed. I let myself go and I'm completely disappointed. I need to fix it, but I'm becoming hopeless.

Calories alone are hard to keep track of. I don't like a lot of healthy foods, I have anxiety and depression and I tend to eat and smoke a lot.

I went to the doctors because I was so anxious and my blood pressure was high 176/98. I'll be 20 next month and this obviously really isn't a good thing.

With my depression it's hard to keep myself motivated to exercise and eat healthy, I find myself struggling not to sleep through the whole day, it doesn't help that my husband always brings fast food home even when I ask him not to bring me anything home.

Since my blood pressure was high I was told I need to cut down smoking, which I have went from 20+ cigarettes to 10ish. I was told I need to watch my sodium count, I was also informed that I am borderline diabetic and I need to watch my sugar intake and that I need to exercise more.

My issue is food with low sodium tends to have a high sugar count or high in calories and food with low calories tend to have high sodium, etc. It seems like I can't find anything with low sugar, low sodium and low calories. It's really hard. Eating healthy, cutting down smoking, exercising, I just don't know what to do or where to start. Is there any easier way to do this? All of this is just overwhelming.

vim_n_vigor

My advice would be to start making your own food, with fresh ingredients, no boxes. Experiment with different spices and flavors. Healthy doesn't have to be nasty. If you make your own, you control the sugar, the sodium, and the excess chemicals and fillers that could (didn't say are) be contributing to some of your other health issues. Also, has your doctor tested your vitamin d levels? Low vitamin D has many of the same symptoms as depression, and you could be compounding the problem if you are low.

zellagrrl

Fresh food is the key here. Make your own meals as much as possible.

Sit down with your husband and explain that you need his support, and explain HOW you need his support- whether this is listening to you, stopping at the grocery for healthy produce on the way home, or even a hug, he needs to know that.

Make a plan for yourself on a weekly, or if that's too daunting, daily basis. Decide your exercise and what you're going to eat-- you can revise it as you go, but at least you have a start.

Go walking, even if it's just for 15 minutes. Get outside-- not just for the Vitamin D, but also for a change of scenery.

I hope that helps

tenunderfour

I'm sorry you feel so overwhelmed. I think you might be trying to do too much at once.... take baby steps!

1. Make sure your depression is being treated. If you are on meds and they are not working, tell your doc. And see a therapist.

2. As previous posters suggested, try focusing on fresh, whole foods..... that alone will decrease sodium and sugar in your diet. Avoid processed and pre-packaged foods as much as possible.

3. If you husband isn't on this bandwagon with you and insists on getting fast food meals - see if he will bring home a happy meal instead of a full supersized one..... or better yet ask him to get you a salad with grilled chicken.

4. I would not worry about low sodium, low sugar blah blah blah. If you lose weight and exercise for 30 minutes 5 x a week your blood pressure is going to normalize. Try not to get hung up on the small stuff. And chin up.....

uubulldawg06

My advice is to start with one thing and then the rest will fall into place. Fresh fruits and veggies are key to a healthier diet. as for the highblood prersure and sugar that will most likely correct itself with the weight loss. First and foremost though see a doctor about the depression.

Scribetoo

First of all, you DO sound completely overwhelmed.

I also suffer from bouts of depression and severe anxiety. What I've had to do is prioritize what I "worry" about at any given time. You can't fix everything at once.. so you have to start at the top and work your way down.. like a giant knot in your shoelace. Pick one string and follow it through the knot until you get it free.. then start on another one.. be patient..

You mention you went to the doctor .. and you talk about your depression and anxiety.. are you medicated? Do you feel like the medication helps your symptoms?

If not, and your doctor recommends medication, I suggest you get on it.. even for a little while so you can get past the block of anxiety (that's a killer for me.. I just shut down)... get some perspective.. then wean yourself off if you feel you have to. I did that last time around.. and was good for about three years.. then recently had it creep back up on me and I'm back on the meds to stay this time. Better living through (prescribed) chemical intervention... just sayin..

If you ARE medicated and you aren't feeling a difference in your symptoms.. if it's been more than a couple of weeks, let your doctor know so they can adjust your meds.

Once you get that "string" untangled.. you can start working on another.. this is a long term journey if you want a long term fix.. it's not going to happen quickly (weightloss).. and you'll need to learn to take one step at a time.. work one thing into your routine.. then add another step.. work it into your routine.. then another.. be methodical.. You'll get there.

I know how desperate it feels to be where you are.. but if it helps to know you're not alone -- you aren't.

Hang in there!!
Stef

albayin

One thing at a time....I wonder if you are willing to give up smoking first...:( I am not judging you but smoke is proved to be cause of lots of health issues.

delonda1

One step at a time....tackle one problem at a time.

Start eating more food that you cook because it will have less sodium

wildcata77

My advice would be to start making your own food, with fresh ingredients, no boxes. Experiment with different spices and flavors. Healthy doesn't have to be nasty. If you make your own, you control the sugar, the sodium, and the excess chemicals and fillers that could (didn't say are) be contributing to some of your other health issues. Also, has your doctor tested your vitamin d levels? Low vitamin D has many of the same symptoms as depression, and you could be compounding the problem if you are low.

This! It's extremely difficult for people to jump in to with no experience, but google some clean eating websites and just try to start with a 40/60 plan...make at least 60% of your meals at home with the clean recipes, shop at least 60% of your groceries from the outer edges where the freshest food it, etc. Then when you feel good about that, bump it to 30/70, then 20/80 until you feel like you are eating better.

Drink tons of water and cut out soda...and keep motivating yourself to cut back on smoking. Try finding a hobby that keeps your hands busy...even if you just get really into nail polish...you can eat/smoke in the hour it takes to do your nails and let them dry. KWIM? Or read...it's hard to eat/smoke while reading.

GL. Are you taking anything for the depression?

meshashesha2012

i think you're having trouble with the low sodium= high sugar issue because you are eating processed foods.

make sure you primarily eat clean fresh food. my suggestion would be to start with tracking what you're eating and then go through meal by meal and figure out what you can clean up. for instance if you like hamburgers, then by some lean ground turkey breast, season it how you want and make your own burger. if you want fries then keep some cut potatoes and sweet potatoes on hand so you can make those.


also when i started i was also high blood pressure and pre-diabetic. it only took a 15 pound loss to make a change in my health and that's a small amount compared to what i want to lose to reach my goal weight. exercise (especially cardio) really helped with the blood pressure. even a little helps

Tarale1

I am really sorry that you are going through as much as you are.

Why not try one thing at a time. Set really really small goals for yourself. So for example say your first goal to getting healthy is making sure that you drink 8 glasses of water a day. And then make it 8 glasses of water before you have your first coffee. Make that a goal that you can count on until you have mastered that and it is second nature. Then move on to the next so say making sure you prepare meals at home 2 days a week, then make it three and move on from there. Don't try to do everything at once because it will be overwhelming and you won't be motivated for it. Remember we all had to crawl before we started walking. Nothing wrong with baby steps...Good luck and add me if you want.

gypsybree

Say your husband brings you a bigmac--worst thing ever!
Eat the bottom two breads and remove one meat (I say the bottom two because its has the best sauce and cheese which of course equals more calories but more yum) eat small fries or half of the fries. Feed the rest to your dog or outside someplace for the stray animals and birds.
You CAN eat fast foods AND lose weight!!! LOG Everything you eat!
I have a smart phone and I log everything I eat when I eat it, sometimes while I eat it, which is a bad habit but I know it is important to keep track.
I am totally amazed at how that in itself keeps me in check.

You can eat anything and lose weight--remember Atkins diet? Dude you could eat bacon all day and still lose--healthy? no, but still.

Start yourself on something that you're capable of doing. If you eat fast food all the time and try to quit for life, you're destined to fail, so don't. Just eat healthy stuff on the menu or smaller portions of the bad stuff.

I shared a 1200 calorie meal last night at Buca's last night, best thing ever then later when I WAs hungry I had a lettuce wrap.
A lettuce wrap. I thought I'd NEVER eat one of those! NEVER! Now they are my favorite foods!

domgirl85

I like healthy food but I also like a lot of foods that aren't. Recently, I've started finding healthy versions of foods I love (including alfredo sauce and french toast!) I get to have stuff I love without killing my hard work.

I spent the better part of last year depressed. SOmething that helped me was creating projects for myself. If I got an idea to do something, I'd write it down. It sounds like I was just keeping myself busy but what ended up happening is that I remembered (and found) things I was good at. It did give me an "excuse" not to deal with things I couldn't change while reminding me of my good qualities.

Something else I do and have done since 2006 (unless I don't have a full length mirror easily accessible) is something I call, The Morning Mirror. Every morning while getting dressed, stand naked in front of the mirror and point out something you LOVE about yourself. Don't point out anything negative. It can be physical, mental, emotional, anything.

Those things helped me feel better about myself which helped me to feel more motivated to change what I could. Obviously I don't know what's bothering you but I thought I'd briefly share that. Also, if you need to talk to someone, do it! Always. If you don't have someone you feel comfortable going to, make that one of your "projects" to find someone.

adspry

My advice would be to start slow and just work your way up. Start by trying new foods...I dont particularly like "healthy" food either but I started by making little changes like eating at Subway instead of my footlong steak and cheese I would get a 6" turkey or ham on whole wheat. Then work your way up to trying new things you would be surpised what you like if you try it. I thought I would hate eating fish but now we eat it twice a week. It depends on how you cook things and using spices etc helps alot. As for depression = I hear you girl ...I suffer from anxiety and depression as well, and truly one thing that has helped is exercise. It REALLY does make you feel better and after your done the sense of accomplishment is awesome. Good luck to you, you can do it - you have a lot of support here

marathonmom72

I agree about eating fresh foods - not processed. A quick way to start doing this is to shop the outside isles at the grocery store. I also agree that maybe you are trying to take on too much at once. I would suggest that you start with exercise, simply because the benefits from exercise will have a 'trickle down' effect. Once you start exercising regularly you will start feeling better, and once you are feeling better it will be easier to be more motivated and positive and you will want to start making those other changes. I spent over a year having to talk myself out of bed in the morning to workout. Every morning I told myself "If you want to get this weight off you have to get up and work out!" Eventually, I had to start telling myself, "If you want to keep this weight off you have to get up and work out!" Now I don't have to give myself that early morning pep talk anymore, I just do it. Don't give up and you'll get there!!

Micksgurl

So sorry you going through this. I think I suggested this to another user not long ago and I feel strongly about it because it helped me. If you like to read try reading " The New Earth" and " The Power of Now". As soon as I started reading the first one I started understanding the reasons I was depressed and the reasons I could not let go of certain things that were keeping me depressed. Anyway I really hope you will give them a try, they were the PERFECT thing for me. Also as far as your husband is concerned...If you asking him not to bring you fast food and he is doing it anyway I would say you have the power to NOT eat it. Take control of what goes in your body. If there is nothing else to eat except what he brings you then grab your car keys and head to the store for something healthy.

No one thing works for everyone but I hope you see there are a lot of good suggestions from everyone on here. I hope one or many work to help you.

skeck

I agree with most of these posts. Try 1 thing at a time. Your situation DOES sound overwhelming - don't overwhelm it even more by trying to change every part of your entire life.

What's most important to YOU? Work on incrementally changing that first. Does that mean NO MORE sugar, salt, cigarettes, etc? Not at all. Moderation is key - your life will be more miserable if you deprive yourself of everything.

Also, maybe trying to convince your husband to be on board would help you? A support system is critical. I'd be happy to be your friend on here and encourage you where I can. I, too, have had struggles with anxiety & depression as well as a few other medical problems. It's not easy, it's discouraging and it makes you feel like there's something wrong with you -- not fun.

I wish you the best! Don't give up

abnerner

As an ex-smoker, a past high-blood pressure medicine taker and current depression/anxiety sufferer, I can understand what you are going through.

Number 1 - please, make sure your depression and anxiety is being treated. if it is not, you cannot work on the rest of yourself
Number 2 - GREAT job cutting down on the smoking. quitting was sooo hard but trust me, it's been worth it!
Number 3 - I agree with everyone else here, eat more fresh foods and try to find what sort of healthy foods you can enjoy. They are out there, you just gotta find them.

Lastly, if you need support, Add me

TGKvr

Maybe start by browsing the success threads and get inspired by some of their stories and journeys. One day at a time!

earnestfarley

All great advice. Make your own food. My wife grills up a bunch of chicken 1 day a week, so low fat protein is always available. I also use an appetite suppressor and 200mg of caffeine each day to control hunger. This works so well, even as I write this, I have to try to get my last 1,200 calories for the day...and I'm not even hungry. Also, buy some powder protein. I use Monster Milk, it tastes great (i mean like a vanilla ice cream shake) good. It is a meal replacement and two scoops gets you 50grams of protein. Again, this will suppress hunger and fast food will not be as tempting. Stay under your calorie goal. Kill the sugar in all its forms. Try to keep carbs to 20% of your total calories.

Everyone will tell you, gotta exercise. Even running in place, walk up and down your stairs, do Tabatas (deep knee bends as fast as you can for 20 seconds, rest for 10 seconds, repeat for 4 minutes). Check out this website. www.fit2fat2fit.com. Its about a personal trainer that deliberately gained like 80 pounds in 6 months, then lost it all in another 6 months. I have been following him for the past year and just this week he did his reveal. On the site, he gives work outs and menus for food. this proves it can be done!

Aranda7892

Thank you all for your responses! It's going to be difficult but I will indeed work on one thing at a time. I know almost everyone suggested eating fresh foods, I'm not sure how to cook from scratch so if someone could tell me a great website to learn from that would be awesome. Thank you all again.

meshashesha2012

Thank you all for your responses! It's going to be difficult but I will indeed work on one thing at a time. I know almost everyone suggested eating fresh foods, I'm not sure how to cook from scratch so if someone could tell me a great website to learn from that would be awesome. Thank you all again.

girl, if i can learn.. ANYONE and i mean ANYONE can learn. i used to eat 99.9% of my meals as take out (even breakfast) and the only reason .1% wasnt take out is because it was leftover from takeout that i heated up.

some good sites i like for recipe ideas are allrecipes.com, foodnetwork.com, slowandsimple.com, myrecipes.com

also cookbooks are fantastic. since i ate a lot of chinese, thai and indian take away, i bought a cookbook for each so i could make those things myself. the better homes and gardens red checkered cookbook is an american classic and will give you recipes for all kinds of things to make from scratch like cakes, soups, appetizers. you name it.

just get creative and have fun. some of the stuff you cook at first will taste like crap, just keep trying and you'll get it right