I Feel like I am sinking!!!!!!

octleigh

I felt the need to poor my heart out:) I am closing MFP with 2463 calories for the day. The plus side is that I logged everything. I usually give up and quit logging. I feel extremely sluggish from the sugar in the mug brownie. I have been extremely lazy when it comes to exercise. At one point I could have exercised to get myself back on track. I jog in place for a minute and a half of my 35 minute planned workout then quit and sulked an ate a brownie and sulked some more. When I look at it a pound at a time. A pound a week. That is 50 weeks away to reach my goal. It feels daunting to know that it will take that long. Then I try to ask myself what difference does it make how long it takes. I should be making permanent changes. I logged for four days before I went over and and began feeling like this was never going to happen for me. My son makes it so hard to exercise so I start feeling like what's the point of eating good if I can't get in a good workout. I can't eat 1200 calories without being miserable so my goal is just over 1500. This makes me feel like I overheat just because I am not working it off. Then my monthly comes in and I have zero control with my food cravings. I holler at my family and my kids then I feel guilty for being a mean mommy or a bad wife then I eat. My husband goes to school at night so after the kids are in bed I have about three hours to eat my troubles away then feel hopeless afterwards. I just need to break the cycle. Make some changes. But where do I start. How do I control some of the problems. I am at the end of my rope. I just want to remove every mirror in my house and just stay in cause my clothes don't fit and I can't afford to go by new ones when I have a full word robe in my closet now that is just several sizes to small. I wish I could say I feel better after putting this out there but unfortunately I am still fat!!!!!:( 

Leimaro

I understand your feelings as I felt the same way up until three weeks ago. I was unmotivated, even though I wanted to be, emotional and I am a slave to PMS for 2-2 1/2 weeks of month. So, I say this to you with sincerity that it is possible that it is PMS symptoms. After reading the information on WebMD and this site http://www.pmscomfort.com/ a veil was lifted; my issues were tied to PMS all along. I realized that no matter how much I tried to lose weight, keep it off, and do some other meaningful things in my life, PMS was always there to pull me down. Physically, mentally and emotionally. I am debilitated by PMS literally for more than half of my existing life. ugghh!

Now, I feel that I can make plans to have a fighting chance. Once you read the sites, especially PMS comfort, I think you will have some understanding of what I mean. There are certain vitamins that can ease the symptoms, certain foods intensifies the symptoms, weight loss and lack of exercise are contributors (this became my main motivation to lose weight).

This is not a diagnosis but a suggestion to look into. Like I said you sound like how I felt for years up until 3 weeks ago. I didn't have a clue that PMS had that much power over me. PMS changes your body hormones. It can even make you forgetful! Now, maybe this is not reality, but it is worth looking into. If you feel that I'm making sense, you can add me as a friend if you want.

Just don't give up!!

octleigh

Thank you! I checked out the sight and it did get me to thinking about my menstrual cycle. I plan to do more researching to find things i can do to help with symptoms. I am feeling encouraged. Thank you for your reply.

chrissyrn04

we have all been there. I have days where I massively give in to the pity party.

Exercise is key for me - it helps with wanting to overeat and gets some stress out. As a full time working mom of a 6 year old and a 6 month old ... life i stressful.

Yes 1 lbs a week seems like FOREVER but n the process of that great things will happen - you will have more energy, cuter clothes, ore self confidence. THat will all happen way before goal weight.

Friend me if you need some extra cheerleading

meemo88

that is exactly how i feel. i used to binge only on the weekends. now i binge during week days too. i try to stay under 1200, but i feel starved and it sucks when my whole family eats what ever they want and i have to eat chicken breast. yesterday i went out of my way to the grocery store to get apple pie and ice cream (and i didnt even get low fat) i got regular! today i went on the scale I'm up 13.4 lbs since my lowest weight. it sucks so bad. i dont know what to do either!! we need to get our motivation back!

twinmum1982

Hi firstly keep your chin up you can do this and dont ever stop beiliving in yourself! I understand where your coming from i have 5 boys and know only to well how hard it is to fit me time in for exercise etc but its vital for your well being u need to look after you first so you can look after your family, i find this me time helps me cope through my monthly as im more chilled so i dont need to comfort eat or shout as much lol. Ive been seeing a counciller for a few months now as i binge then purge (its taken me a long time to admit and im now nearly a month clear of purging) but one peice of advise she gave me was not to feel guilty after a binge as that makes the cycle worse and to find/detect the triggers of the emotional eating. Also what sort of support system do u have set up?Do u have family around that could help with the children while u get some exercise? Hope this helps feel free to add me as friend if u like x

littlecompton

I couldn't believe how your post mirrored my own if I had been completely honest a couple months ago. Thank you for your honesty!
I am sending you a hug.

Please don't give up, and please don't beat yourself up. I know it's so hard but believe me, to win at this you have to be your own best friend. Think of things you actually like about yourself then mentally go over them throughout the day, especially when you feel down. Instead of feeling like a slug, you will start to hold your head up. Lack of self respect, or self-loathing, is what gets us to do destructive things to ourselves sometimes. (Whether it's drinking or drugs or eating our feelings.)

What are the qualities you most look for in an ideal friend? I bet you have those same qualities if you are honest with yourself. Remember those things you can admire about yourself. Be as kind and supportive of yourself as you surely are to those around you.

I read a book called "Made to Crave" and it is really insightful. (By Lisa Terquist). It gives helpful advice like replacing old lies with new truths: "I am tired and I deserve these french fries" becomes "All these fries will give me are more problems. I deserve to be healthy." It's worth a read, especially if you are a woman of faith.

I personally need to lose a lot of weight. I have always felt like 'what's the point' since it will take me so long. Now I realize that anything I can do to improve my health is worth it, regardless of what the scale says. (Because of this new philosophy I made my husband hide the scale from me!) I am trying to remove obstacles I put in my own path. Think about that. What obstacles are you putting in your own way? Get rid of them, my friend.

Do you compare yourself to other women? Stop it! You are fabulous. (And I don't even know you! But you are a child of God and that means you are wonderfully made. Believe it.) If it seems all the women around you are thinner, in better shape, are more organized, have better hair, are stronger than you, more confident, have adoring husbands and well-behaved kids, babies who sleep through the night, and their houses are always clean, no money troubles, and they always manage to have a smile plastered on their face, well......you get the picture. We all know women like that. But quess what? Most of those things are just what they try so hard to make others believe about them. Inside they are just as insecure at times as the rest of us. They struggle too. So never compare yourself to anyone!

I really struggle with cravings/hunger during PMS but I am TRYING to conquer them, one victory at a time. Let's both drop and do 40 situps (mine are crunches at best!) BEFORE we put anything unhealthy in our mouths during moments of weakness, okay? I'm going to start doing that and I will think of you and hope you are doing the same.

I understand about eating your feelings. I understand about doing 2 minutes on a treadmill and saying "screw it" and getting a bowl of ice cream instead. But we can change these behaviors!

I am losing weight so slowly. It is taking forever it seems, but so what? I am exercising every day - no, not doing 30 day shred or marathons but kicking butt for me. (I had to take my own advice and stop comparing myself to others, even here on MFP. I felt like a loser because everyone seemed to be exercise fiends and I could barely bend over to tie my shoes at first. Then I realized I was putting another obstacle in my path. Choosing not to execise at all because I couldn't compete with people who were deservedly in better shape than me. What a jerk I was being to myself!) So now I drag my butt up and down the local hills for 40 minutes each morning. I am choosing salads over fries. Yes, it's a ***** sometimes and I want to cry or slap the skinny waitress bringing me my salad but my life is worth more than a french fry. Your life is worth more than a mug brownie.

Every good choice we make is a step in the right direction. And if we make a bad choice we CANNOT give up, or think that it erases the good things we've done. We have to just keep trying. Honestly, I am feeling better inside and out and I've only lost 10lbs (til hubby took the scale away). I joke that at this rate I will be at goal weight by the time I am 90 but I know it just feels that way.

It does get easier. Baby steps, girl! As long as you are heading in the right direction you will get where you want to be. Friend me if you want so we can encourage each other. But even if you don't, I am praying for you and sending you encouragement!

octleigh

You guys are wonderful. Thank you for the encouraging words. I will hang on to every word you said and strive to do better. You don't realize how much you have motivated me just by your words and suport. Thanks again:)