Motivation - Wrong Kind?

Melonhead

O_o So.. wait... you're complaining that your boyfriend loves you at any size?
Wow, I always appreciated that my girlfriend loves me no matter what I weigh with no exceptions and finds me just as beautiful at my highest and lowest weights. She takes pride in me for my dedication and accomplishment with weight loss, but it has neither decreased nor increased my attractiveness to her.
I just..I don't understand.

It's not that I don't like that he still finds me attractive even at my highest. I just want a little appreciation for all the hard work I've put into it, that's all. At least to..take notice of it. It's like working really hard and you feel good about it and then no one notices a difference, you feel kind cruddy about it, ya know? Like maybe it DIDN'T make a difference at all.

Maybe he secretly likes fat chicks.

Unless you lost it all in a week I'm sure the change is not noticeable to him. Gradual changes are hard to see.
My girlfriend lost 15lbs since starting her job a couple months ago, and I can barely see a difference because it's been gradual. Plus, she's unconditionally hot to me so the change doesn't mean anything to me other than she's a bit smaller looking. It's neither a positive or negative thing in my eyes. If your boyfriend is anything like me, he's probably said he's happy for you and everything, but I don't think he's going to be super enthused over a superficial and subtle body change.

He doesn't really say anything about it. If I say I lost something, he's like. 'well, you dont need to' nothing suppourtive or anything like that. -_-

I DO think he like fat chicks. O.o or at least chubby ones. His past gfs were even bigger than I was. Of course I have very less amount of boob, even when bigger I was the same size. Then again, lots of people like bigger boobs...even I do, so I can't complain about anyone not liking mine. haha But I'm not going to chub myself up just so he likes me more. XD

I guess it may have been the gradual thing. I lost the first 6kg in a month in January, so I guess you can't tell so much, especially when you're around them all the time.

Love is supposed to be unconditional. I was going to suggest that you just focus on making yourself happy. Clearly, you need validation, in the worst way. Then you started talking about chubbing up, which is a little insulting, so maybe you just need to grow up!

johncole90

What it sounds like to me is maybe he doesn't see it as much because he probably sees you all the time. It's a gradual change and he's less likely to see the full effect compared to a person who hasn't seen you in months. Be proud in what you've done and let that motivate you.

Melonhead

Love is supposed to be unconditional. I was going to suggest that you just focus on making yourself happy. Clearly, you need validation, in the worst way. Then you started talking about chubbing up, which is a little insulting, so maybe you just need to grow up!

It's a joke..maybe you should lighten up, f-cker.

and....I'm done

LTGPSA

My husband doesn't comment (nor compliment me) on my loss and I really don't care. I didn't do this for him, I did it for me. I do see what you mean - that a little acknowledgement from your significant other would be nice. Why they don't - I haven't a clue, but I refuse to be bogged down by it. I'm happy with me and my hard work - and that's what counts! :flowerforyou:

Martucha123

I know watch you mean.
IMy SO is telling me every day how great I look now, that I have lost weight and it's very very nice to have him say that.

I know he loves me in all sizes (and I range from size 4 to 14)
but I also know he finds me more attractive when I'm size 6-8, nothing wrong with that, we are only humas.
He really makes sure that I know how much he likes my body now and I think that is fantastic,

Maybe talk to your bf, tell him that you know he has good intentions
but if he likes more what he see now, it would mean a lot to you if he could express it.

tabulator32

Why are some people so mean about this...what the F kind of community is this when I dont get suppourt from ANYONE in my F--cking life?! You mean-a.s MFs can kiss my a.s and stop taking your crap out on ME!!! I just wanted to see if others had the same thing, not for you to shove it in my face and say it like that..is your goal in life to make others feel WORSE about themselves?! CONGRATS! I'm done being nice to you...



I'm tired of this..... I'm out.

When I read you're first post, I was going to agree with the response about guys having to "be safe" and being "damned if they do, damned if they don't," because its true. Now that I see THIS comment, I believe he truly IS damned either way.

This isn't a personal attack. This is simply my opinion and I hope it helps. You're being a little needy. You should be doing MFP for yourself and be satisfied and happy with yourself. If you are doing this simply for your BF and you don't get the precise response you were looking for, you shouldn't let it destroy your world.

Geez! What attitude!

Vampires suck!

LOL

(That's a joke, too.)

Perhaps you SHOULD go to bed. The sun will be up soon.

Melonhead

Why are some people so mean about this...what the F kind of community is this when I dont get suppourt from ANYONE in my F--cking life?! You mean-a.s MFs can kiss my a.s and stop taking your crap out on ME!!! I just wanted to see if others had the same thing, not for you to shove it in my face and say it like that..is your goal in life to make others feel WORSE about themselves?! CONGRATS! I'm done being nice to you...



I'm tired of this..... I'm out.

When I read you're first post, I was going to agree with the response about guys having to "be safe" and being "damned if they do, damned if they don't," because its true. Now that I see THIS comment, I believe he truly IS damned either way.

This isn't a personal attack. This is simply my opinion and I hope it helps. You're being a little needy. You should be doing MFP for yourself and be satisfied and happy with yourself. If you are doing this simply for your BF and you don't get the precise response you were looking for, you shouldn't let it destroy your world.

Geez! What attitude!

Vampires suck!

LOL

(That's a joke, too.)

Perhaps you SHOULD go to bed. The sun will be up soon.

Winner