Just need to vent...

knovello82

About life...where I don't actually know anyone in person. This time of year can be so nice (springtime) & yet so depressing. I've been with my bf for 7.5 years...yup, no ring. We talk about getting married all of the time, but he can't afford a ring, and has a lot of financial struggle right now. He doesn't want to get married until he makes more money. This is why this time of year can be so depressing...everyone around me is either getting engaged or married. I feel guilty for feeling this way, since it's only a matter of money, but when will it be my turn?? Our relationship is great, we are best friends and we know how to get through the rough times together, but I'm tired of waiting to be able to start our family...I don't know if he'll ever get out of this financial slump.

Thanks for listening (or I should say, reading)

ironanimal

Have you tried to help him with his financial issues? I don't mean throwing money at him, but encouraging him to seek promotion or consolidating his debts, living together?

Begood03

I understand that you are frustrated, but don't even think about raising children until you are better off financially. Children can be expensive, and require a lot of your time.

Zeromilediet

Here's my thoughts after reading your post ... pretend I'm your Mom and ignore me if you like ;-)

You don't need money to get married. You don't need a fancy ring to get married. You don't need a Big Fat Wedding.
You need commitment to your marriage and building a future together. Even with a small income (or two), a couple working together can make a secure, comfortable life.

It's nice to contemplate a beautiful ring and wedding and house and cars etc etc ... but those things are passing and in the end what matters is the two of you. Today's magazines and TV and images all make us want everything to be just right, and maybe there's other issues like uncertainty or insecurity of self that hold a person back from starting a life with another. Don't know.

Just ask anyone who has lost everything in a hurricane or tornado ... the most important thing is having your loved ones alive and safe and with you.

IMHO

SkyPixie

Here's my thoughts after reading your post ... pretend I'm your Mom and ignore me if you like ;-)

You don't need money to get married. You don't need a fancy ring to get married. You don't need a Big Fat Wedding.
You need commitment to your marriage and building a future together. Even with a small income (or two), a couple working together can make a secure, comfortable life.

It's nice to contemplate a beautiful ring and wedding and house and cars etc etc ... but those things are passing and in the end what matters is the two of you. Today's magazines and TV and images all make us want everything to be just right, and maybe there's other issues like uncertainty or insecurity of self that hold a person back from starting a life with another. Don't know.

Just ask anyone who has lost everything in a hurricane or tornado ... the most important thing is having your loved ones alive and safe and with you.

IMHO

What this poster said !!
My wedding cost £27.50 which is less than $50 , we don't wear rings and have been happily married for 16 years

You have to decide whether it is being married or getting married that is important to you ... if its the later you shouldn't be getting married if its the former then the money won't matter :flowerforyou:

knovello82

I have helped him out financially, and we have discussed him trying to find a new & better job. We already live together. We have discussed what type of wedding we want, & we want small & simple, cheap as possible. We have even discussed the possibility of just going to a justice of the peace. My mom has offered him my 2 grandmothers' rings to make into my engagement ring, so no I don't care about a big fancy diamond. He is the one who says he wants to get me my own ring/something new (I did tell him I am ok w/ him using the grandmothers' rings). Here is the problem: he is claiming bankruptsy (sp?) & doesn't want to marry me until that is all cleared up. & he can't afford the 'new' ring. I feel sometimes like he is just stalling everything, but our best friends got married 2 weeks ago & he kept compairing everything from their wedding to our 'future' wedding. Why would he keep bringing it up if he didn't want to get married?