Attracting people who don't work out/eat right...thoughts?
julielittlefish
Posts: 134 Member
in Chit-Chat
It seems that when I take stock of the type of people I attract lately they either: don't work out, don't eat right, or have bad habits (smoking, etc.). Generally, these are nice people who I enjoy talking to/spending time with, but not anyone I'd want to develop something long-term with.
I don't get it! Does this happen to anyone else?
I don't get it! Does this happen to anyone else?
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Yeah, I hate when unworthies try to get passed the friendzone. What are some people thinking?0
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What he said. 2/3 of the population is overweight or obese (by BMI, so we'll give it 1/2 as actually overweight or obese). Then add to that the people with a bad habit and even if every person in the US was attracted to you, they would more often then not falal into the unhealthy category.0
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Whoever he is, if you are outgoing type and nice with opposite sex, then someone will get attracted. Usually you spend time with those people, so isn't it obvious?0
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Yeah, I hate when unworthies try to get passed the friendzone. What are some people thinking?
Exactly this , the cheek of some people nowadays is outrageous...0 -
I totally get you! So I got rid of every one of my friends that don't work out, eat stuff like pizza and ice cream and anyone with a bad habit like smoking, drinking, cussing, telling dirty jokes or anything else that anyone may find offensive. I wonder why I don't have any friends...0
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It's because the majority of people dont work out and eat right. However, you are attractive, so you attract everybody.
what he said...0 -
Yes I attract a bunch of people I woun't want to date, but like as friends. People attract other people, it is up to you to decided how you want to react or what you want to do, but if you act like they are not worth your time your just inviting people to point out any flaw they see in you and brush you off as nothing as well.0
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If I'm going to develop a long-term relationship with someone, I want it to be someone that will be alive and kicking when we're both old and gray, not someone who is on a fast track to lung cancer or heart disease because they live a life full of unhealthy choices. I've dated people with different eating habits, etc., and it doesn't work because our lifestyles aren't compatible. I've let them past the friend zone!0
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I totally get you! So I got rid of every one of my friends that don't work out, eat stuff like pizza and ice cream and anyone with a bad habit like smoking, drinking, cussing, telling dirty jokes or anything else that anyone may find offensive. I wonder why I don't have any friends...
This ^^
All you can hope to be is a positive influence, if they choose to live their lives differently it is not your place to judge.0 -
I totally get you! So I got rid of every one of my friends that don't work out, eat stuff like pizza and ice cream and anyone with a bad habit like smoking, drinking, cussing, telling dirty jokes or anything else that anyone may find offensive. I wonder why I don't have any friends...
Search, and you will find.0 -
I totally get you! So I got rid of every one of my friends that don't work out, eat stuff like pizza and ice cream and anyone with a bad habit like smoking, drinking, cussing, telling dirty jokes or anything else that anyone may find offensive. I wonder why I don't have any friends...
*eyeroll*
Yeah. Spot on. Not what I'm talking about at all. But thanks for the input.0 -
I totally get you! So I got rid of every one of my friends that don't work out, eat stuff like pizza and ice cream and anyone with a bad habit like smoking, drinking, cussing, telling dirty jokes or anything else that anyone may find offensive. I wonder why I don't have any friends...
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Honey darling, you aint lived until you lived in theIf I'm going to develop a long-term relationship with someone, I want it to be someone that will be alive and kicking when we're both old and gray, not someone who is on a fast track to lung cancer or heart disease because they live a life full of unhealthy choices. I've dated people with different eating habits, etc., and it doesn't work because our lifestyles aren't compatible. I've let them past the friend zone!
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Honey darling, you aint lived until you lived in the
Baby, I was once married to the danger zone! Need less danger. Or more....crap, now Top Gun has me confused.
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It's baby baby.......and you get down on your knees for me
Honey darling, you aint lived until you lived in the
Baby, I was once married to the danger zone! Need less danger. Or more....crap, now Top Gun has me confused.
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Guess I just lost that lovin' feeling...*sigh*0
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I don't understand you enjoy their company because of who they are, but you are disappointed/frustrated/? because of what they eat?0
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How they eat! Mouth open talking with food in it, elbows on the table, salad fork on the wrong side. There's just some things you don't do.I don't understand you enjoy their company because of who they are, but you are disappointed/frustrated/? because of what they eat?0 -
I do enjoy their company. I guess I'm not seeing how it can go past that if we don't have the same values when it comes to a healthy lifestyle. I'm busting my butt at the gym, or CrossFit, or out running, and watching what I eat, and instead of attracting people with a similar lifestyle, I seem to attract the opposite. Never work out. Favorite food group is fried. Stuff like that. I was married to someone unhealthy and it didn't work out. I don't want to do that again. So I guess I'm frustrated. And a little perplexed.I don't understand you enjoy their company because of who they are, but you are disappointed/frustrated/? because of what they eat?0 -
How they eat! Mouth open talking with food in it, elbows on the table, salad fork on the wrong side. There's just some things you don't do.I don't understand you enjoy their company because of who they are, but you are disappointed/frustrated/? because of what they eat?
Come on, chewing with your mouth open is gross regardless of if it's a doughnut or a protein bar!0 -
Tough spot for you . . . and I understand the point of reference . . . from your posts you have a healthy life style that is part of your identity . . most of us have been judged on appearance (poor fitting clothes) or behaviour (eating with your mouth open - easily correctable if friend helps them, in my opinion) instead of what is inside us. . . you seem to find the good inside people . . .that is good, too few people like that . . .I am not sure I would worry too much about who is alive to be around you in the later part of your life . . . our long term plans do not seem to matter that much in how our lives turn out . .. but the quality of people around you will always matter0
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Sounds like you want to date you with a penis.
Personally, I like it when guys have other interests besides things I like to do. My hubby likes to build things. I like to garden. I like to dance. He likes sci-fi. He's tall. I'm average height. I'm good with money. He'd be dead *kitten* broke if he were managing our finances. I like veggies. He hates onions, broccoli, and bell peppers. Yet astoundingly enough we have managed to survive 19 years of marriage and 22 years together. Of course, neither of us require the other to meet our every demand for what we were looking for in the opposite sex. Funnily enough, the only people I've ever known IRL who demanded that level of perfection, didn't meet the standards that such a person set for their petential partner.0 -
If you enjoy each others company and respect each other, then that's great. Don't be so picky.. And just because they don't do those things doesn't mean they would never enjoy them. Bring them on a hike or a run. Make them a healthy dinner. They might just enjoy themselves.
It's about building a life together, not finding one that's already the same as yours. Go for it! You never know who you might be missing.0 -
I just can't understand this way of thinking, myself.
You're clearly looking for a long-term partner, if you're looking for someone to grow old and grey with, but you're attracting people who sound like great long-term partner material, and aren't happy because they're not looking after their health as much as you are?
You're living in the future, rather than now. There's little point basing your opinion of someone now on whether or not they'll be around when you're in your retirement years. Sure, I'd love my own morbidly obese fiance to be around when I'm old, sure I'd love not to be in a situation where I'm expecting I'll be a relatively young widow, but how much time he spends eating simply isn't the major factor in our relationship, because I love him and value the time we do have together.
Trust me, I can understand the desire to have someone around you who'll be with you for a long time, but we never know what's going to happen. I can sit here wondering what it's going to be like being a young widow, but (morbid topic, this!) there is nothing to say I'm not going to be out on a run in a month's time and have an unexpected heart attack, or get hit by a car, and be the one that goes first. Give me quality relationships for slightly less time any day!
Edited to add: Not only that, but I was one of those lazy, bad habit people as recently as two years ago. People's lifestyles can change, but their deeper personality doesn't.0 -
How they eat! Mouth open talking with food in it, elbows on the table, salad fork on the wrong side. There's just some things you don't do.I don't understand you enjoy their company because of who they are, but you are disappointed/frustrated/? because of what they eat?
These things piss me off more than" the eating like s**t, not working out and smoking". lol0 -
If you get on well with someone, then maybe you can teach them the right ways like healthy eating and eating properly which then in turn will help keep friends!0
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A lot of people are coming down on you, but I understand, to a point. I just got out of a relationship with a junk food junkie who would get annoyed when I would eat healthy or go to the gym. To me, food is like a drug. I use it to escape my problems. If I were a drug addict would it be a good idea for me to be in a relationship with a drug dealer? Probably not. It is still solely up to me to control my behavior, but controlling your surroundings is a big part of that. If you are dating a person who tries to shove donuts in your mouth or gets pissed if you go to the gym, it probably won't work out. That being said, a guy doesn't necessarily have to have all the same fitness goals or eating habits as you. As long as they support your lifestyle you should keep an open mind. If you insist on a certain lifestyle, you should probably scope the gyms or try an online dating service.0
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at least you're attracting people... :laugh:0
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How they eat! Mouth open talking with food in it, elbows on the table, salad fork on the wrong side. There's just some things you don't do.I don't understand you enjoy their company because of who they are, but you are disappointed/frustrated/? because of what they eat?
whoa whoa...back up.....there's a wrong side to a salad fork? :huh: :laugh:0
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