Don't know if I will ever see me

ARMYGIRLNOW
ARMYGIRLNOW Posts: 2
in Introduce Yourself
I am a smaller me trapped in a fat girls mind.. I have gone from 248 to 149 and trying to get back to 140-145 where I was 2 years ago before a car accident. It has been a long hard struggle all my life. I was blessed with a family with obesity issues on the women’s side. Thank you, and I picked it up at about 10-11 thinned out a bit when puberty hit then when had children I blew up like a balloon. Then finally 10 yr ago I got tired of carrying a whole other person with me and decided to use diet pills with effedria in them. Sorry if I misspelled it. In any event it helped me go down to 180. I then felt stuck in my career and yearned to be in the military as I dreamt as a child since I grew up behind a huge Army Base, I decided to meet with a recruiter and processed for Army Guard there was only thing besides at the time being a single mom and being 32 when joining, I had to drop 18 pounds before I could process to get to Basic Training in 45 days. Well Guess WHAT?? I focused and ate no starch or bad carbs or sugar for 1 month and I worked out 4 times a week and dropped 20 pounds. Ok enough about that, car accident 2 years ago big setback I gained 20 or so pounds through 18 months teetering back and forth and the constant pain from nice metal plate and screws in neck and back, oh yeah forgot I had to get a spinal fusion in 2009 due to on the job injury. So yes Cervical and Lumbar fusion within 2 years of one another. BLaaah ..
Oh that is a mouthful. Yeah well I have been on a mission in the past 3 months and I have lost 19 pounds. I still don't see the skinny me!!! It is so frustrating, I occasionally see the skinny neck and my exposed collar bones and yeah the smaller cloths but I feel so self conscious. WHEN DOES IT STOP???
I know my husband probably thinks I am nutz

Replies

  • hddeuce1966
    hddeuce1966 Posts: 104
    Congratulations on your success. I wish you the best.
  • rocketass99
    rocketass99 Posts: 537 Member
    I remember when i was about 24 and i dropped from 200+ to 120 lbs. People would tell me all the time how skinny I was, but that is never what I saw in the mirror. It was only after I hit forty and started putting some weight on, I realized how good I really looked. I wish I hadn't wasted all thos years and just remembered that I will always see that fat girl in the mirror but that does not reflect reality. (Although i do have weight to lose right now) So i tell my mind thank you for sharing, now hush up before somebody drops a house on you.

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