Non supportive spouse/partner

2»

Replies

  • Donnacoach
    Donnacoach Posts: 540 Member
    I have been married for 27 years, and my husband has never supported me in my weight loss. He is more concerned with the fact that i might hurt myself, which in a way is good, but not what I want to hear. He also drinks soda, eats chips, and whatever else he wants to throughout the day. Makes it very hard. I finally had to be very blunt with him. He was being nice, or he thought he was, and he was bringing me home some treats like every night from the store. I finally just said, "No, you can't keep doing this. I love that you are thinking of me, but I don't have the discipline to say no to these treats when you bring them in the house. I will let you know when I would like something. I am sorry if this hurts your feelings, but I work to hard at trying to lose weight." He honestly handled it very well. He still eats and drinks his junk in front of me, but that's ok. I always have my own healthy snacks in the house at all times.
  • bongbunny
    bongbunny Posts: 37 Member
    To be unsupportive of weight loss, particularly when it stems from health concerns, raises a red flag for me. I'd assume the main reason is some form of insecurity, but regardless, it is screwed up for a person to put the health of their spouse behind their own personal hangups. There comes a point, for me anyway, that I would have to re-evaluate my relationship if my spouse continued to be unsupportive (and sabotaging!) of something as important as my health. A spouse is supposed to be a partner in life, not a heavy weight to drag you down.

    I'm sorry you're not finding support at home. If it continues after trying some of the great suggestions made here, you might consider calling your wife out - point blank ask what the problem is. Why would she prefer you to be unhealthy, overweight and at risk for certain preventable diseases than to see you healthy, confident and happy. You deserve to know why.

    To the chick who said she'd be jealous if her husband started losing weight (it's a woman thing) - erm no, it's not. It's a selfish thing.
  • lilylight
    lilylight Posts: 128 Member
    I can relate to this post! I just started this program five days ago. Suddenly, yesterday, my husband was inspired by the food network to bake an apple tart! In eight years he's hardly ever baked anything. He actually needs to lose more weight than me, but he's not trying to; he's totally cynical about diets. So by making the apple tart, he was making a statement: I'm not going to diet and you can't make me! And as long as I'm dieting, he may feel a little guilty/pressured -- so if I quit, that would relieve that pressure for him. ...Don't know if this is what's going on with you (original poster). Clearly, I need to have a serious talk with him!

Categories