why don't you love yourself?

jackieatx

I read a lot of self-hate and self-loathing posts on here. I feel like support and therapy is something that is missing from a lot of "diets". This was confirmed in my mind when I read the story of the "650 pound virgin" who lost 400 pounds only to gain it all back in two years. He attributed this to mental instability and inability to cope with his new responsibilities. I feel like you can change the outside all you like, but if you don't work on the inside, what's the point? If you don't recognise your triggers for binging, you will keep doing it and all your hard work will be wasted. Food addiction is a very real thing, just like alcohol and drug addiction. My husband is a drug and alcohol counselor and says he sees very little difference between those addictions. You are still trying to fill an empty space within you with excess. There are support groups out there like overeaters anonymous that are there to help. Love yourself first, and the change will follow! Keep a positive attitude, because like attracts like. Be the best you possible, all around!

Love Jackie

Livingbalanced

I absolutely agree that 'therapy' or at least taking the time to do the inner-self work is key to successful weight loss. Rebuilding our damaged relationship with food (alcohol, drugs, sex, work, exercising, video games, etc.) is essential to working towards a balanced, loving and forgiving understanding of our past, present and future. It takes WORK though and I'm finding that that work is harder than actually losing the weight - although both definitely go hand in hand. I've been blogging about it and glad I'm taking the time to finally put thoughts down about the complex intricacies of my relationship with food and with my body.

I was actually thinking of starting a practice in my home town around people's relationship with food - not just the disordered eating of anorexia and bulimia but binge-eating and lifetimes of dieting. I'm still sitting on that idea and if people would pay to get help or if they'd just try another diet to "fix" the problem (which doesn't work).

katemme

Because I have depression and just feel overall worthless and stupid?

V3ggieL0vinGinger

I also have depression. It really makes you feel worthless, and even worse when people don't realize what's wrong with you and just think you act stupidly.

Ravenesque_

I've often asked myself 'If you do not love yourself, why should you expect other people to? If you do not respect yourself, your body, your actions, why should other people?'

Love thy neighbour as you love thyself. i think people spent so much time on the neighbour and forget themselves.

I've had depression, and it comes and goes, but I constantly tell myself that my emotional state is no reason to stop thinking of myself as a human being of worth. Yeh, I got flaws, but that's part of being homosapien. Just like stress and boredom is no excuse to stuff my face silly.

I fail at this a lot, but I'm getting there.

Chin up people.

Genie30

I agree abosolutely that healthy mind and healthy body go hand in hand. My main goal for this year is to try to start to fix 'the inside' as well as the outside but it's hard when your on your own.

I think in my area it's also hard to find help that is not faith based and as a non believer, I can't promise to put my life in the hands of something I don't believe in. Private counsellors are just not a financially viable option and theres no resorce for me other than MFP.

Thats why I need this site so much and I love my friends. They are truely amazing and stand by every day, even when I don't get it right.

nicholettebell

I absolutely agree. It makes me sad to read when people are so down on themselves. I found that this process becomes so much easier if one loves oneself. When starting out with this weight loss I had initially lost 50 lbs but found I could not handle the mental part of it and gained back 30 of it. That's when I realized that this was so much more than just losing weight. I definitely had an emotional addiction to how I thought food made me feel. That was a habit that was so tough to break and I still struggle with it sometimes. However I'd like to think that because I am more aware, I can be more successful. I try and encourage others to embrace the process and continue to live life the best way they can.

1546mel

People are often searching out support from others. I fall into the "dont love myself" category often and have a hard time dealing with nasty comments personally. Pills are worthless, kill you in the long run, and for many people therapy does not help. I constantly am working on self improvement hoping that feel-good feelings will take over, but I do not know if i will ever be skinny enough to love myself. it is hard for people who have issues like this, so dont hate on us And we need to quit those stupid "rate the person above you" threads as that just adds to negative feelings!!!

gungho66

I dont have depression and have never really felt bad about myself , I am usually a fun loving and happy guy. But I will say at my peak last January when I stepped on the scale and it said 256 lbs I was at an all time low after having lost my job and almost my house and everything else I had. But I realized none of that really mattered anyways if your not like Jackie said, happy on the inside. So I decided to keep on keeping and change what I could change one day at a time. It's now June and I have been working full time almost a year after 2 years of unemployment and have gotten my finances back under control and have saved my house. But the best part is I have lost 63 pounds and have never felt better about myself both inside and out. I did it for me , because I needed to and I will never go back to what I hated , thats my choice . If anyone here needs a friend I will do my best to be supportive and try to understand , but I also believe in change must come from the inside and you DO have the ability to make it happen.

jadesign19

I dont have depression and have never really felt bad about myself , I am usually a fun loving and happy guy. But I will say at my peak last January when I stepped on the scale and it said 256 lbs I was at an all time low after having lost my job and almost my house and everything else I had. But I realized none of that really mattered anyways if your not like Jackie said, happy on the inside. So I decided to keep on keeping and change what I could change one day at a time. It's now June and I have been working full time almost a year after 2 years of unemployment and have gotten my finances back under control and have saved my house. But the best part is I have lost 63 pounds and have never felt better about myself both inside and out. I did it for me , because I needed to and I will never go back to what I hated , thats my choice . If anyone here needs a friend I will do my best to be supportive and try to understand , but I also believe in change must come from the inside and you DO have the ability to make it happen.

Thanks that's what I needed today:flowerforyou: